BOOK ONE INTRODUCTION—ITCHING TO TELL YOU A STORY THAT TAKES COURAGE TO REVEAL

 INTRODUCTION TO BOOK ONE:
        
 Hello.  My name is Annie, and I’m itching to tell you a story that takes courage to reveal.  This true tale of love gone wrong is made up of a series of stories, extending over many years.  And each story relates to how I learned to repair my battered ego after having been emotionally brow beaten by a mean-minded band of prepubescent bullies—repeatedly.

My primary purpose in baring these stories (some funny, some serious, all deeply personal) is to highlight classic reasons why my husband and I broke apart though we'd vowed to love, honor, and nurture each other 'till death do we part'.  In short, I believe that with insight and hindsight guiding my intelligence, these stories may serve as warning signs for you and yours, which had been sadly missed by me and mine, as in:  DANGER—head on collisions dead ahead.  In short, I aim to show you what happens when defensive reactions drive two bright people close to crazy.
         
Having mentioned that every story is true, it seems wise to protect the privacy of those who've touched our lives.  So in lieu of writing a profile, I'd like you to get to know me as I've come to know myself, little by little.

Also as each story unfolds, I hope you'll keep this insight in mind:  A story is like a puzzle in that essential pieces must be properly placed.  When essential details are ignored or forgotten, misplaced or distorted, stories, like puzzles, remain confusing or incomplete.  However, if a storyteller works painstakingly to retrieve forgotten details with which to fill in a story's holes, the whole truth of 'the bigger picture' may be revealed to all who'd felt stymied by—human nature, which has two sides—one charged with positively focused energy while the other proves negatively charged.  And as we know, attitude (positive or negative) is everything—uh wait, let's make that close to everything, because timing and readiness factor into change for the better, as well.  So, though my stories will focus on the ways in which attitudes, timing, readiness and self esteem affect our relationships, this will not be a 'fix it' book but rather a bird's eye view of insights concerning experiences, which, as you will see, proved classic to human nature since families were seen fighting for space in caves.

*As each story leads to the next and missing details emerge, you'll see how bigger pictures transform darkly cloudy misperceptions into 'AHA!' moments of clarity that may inspire change for the better to take place, as though all on its own, for this reason:

With clarity, eyes open in surprise; perspectives expand and heartfelt (long-range) goals, which had once seemed unattainable, may suddenly dangle within reach.  And since thoughts of bigger pictures emerging from deep within our minds are empowered to turn lost causes around, I hope to entice you to ride sidekick through my stories by offering this glimpse of what's to come:

Once upon a time, my husband joked that people are born with a finite number of words.  And after we’ve used those words our lips are zipped—forever!  Then he went on to say that while I jabber away, he’s saving his words till every last one of mine is gone.  And once my lips have zipped—forever—he’ll say everything that’s ever been on his mind and watch me go crazy when I can’t answer back!
          
Knowing myself as loquacious, I laughed really hard and said, very funny.  Then laughter turned to tears, because his theory came true, and my words actually dried up.  Upon finding me speechless, this man of few words spoke his mind; a moving van pulled up; an apartment lease was signed, and everyone who cared—most especially our kids—felt rocked to the core to hear such shocking news.  If that was the bad news then here’s the good: Though my voice dried up, my core belief in myself did not, which is why—after we’d split, a whole new game plan for my life shaped up inside my mind.

THE END
(of book one)

PS  Oh wait—here's a detail that may be helpful right from the start:  Going crazy’s not my style.  So instead of losing my cool, I conjured up Walden Pond and dived into the deep end of my mind where memories, too painful to recall, float just beneath the surface of conscious awareness.  And though I’m eager to clue you in as to what happened once subconsciously repressed memories began to emerge—well, we’ve only just met, and I don’t want to outstay my welcome.  So thinking to give your ear (and my newly revived self-assertive voice) a rest, I'll offer up one additional insight before bidding happy trails to my family and friends, both old and new, until we meet, again—
Your friend,
😊Annie

One of many reasons for mustering the courage and humility to bare personal stories of my life is to show you how the blame/game hurts us, one and all.

PSS

As insights do not necessarily filter into conscious awareness as neatly as ducklings intuitively follow their mother's lead, it's become my habit to add insights to published posts, which I feel intuitively compelled to review.  As you shall soon see, back tracking through published posts encourages my intuitive intelligence to guide me toward heightening my conscious awareness concerning detailing events that have long passed.  So, if additional insights emerge while I'm rereading a previously published post and if my power of intuition guides me to slide this new set of insights in with those that had already popped out of my memory then that is suggestive of the conscious portion of my brain feeling ready to absorb a more deeply detailed version of factual information than may have been true before.  In short, our memories may be more shallow than we'd think at first glance.

I also think it may be helpful to note that intuitive trains of thought are naturally released from deep within my brain in a stream of consciousness, which does not care a fig about sentence structure or grammar, and thus, each thought may tend to go, on and on, as naturally as does a real train made up of many cars coupled together until my power of intuitive thought senses a rest station beckoning to me, directly ahead.

In short, each time I engage in the writing process, the conscious portion of my mind has little clue as to where each next intuitive train of thought may be taking me, because surprising strings of insights tend to pop out of my depths as though all on their own—as in—Wow!  I didn't remember that detail until just now!  And though most details are minor (like why my Dad's hair got curly) others, which tend to pop out as though all on their own, prove so monumental as to be absorbed as epiphanies, which expand a person's narrow 'frame' of mind.  I mean you may know a person, who had seemed kind of crazy until your closed mindset felt reason to open at least enough to wonder about details that had not been yours to know concerning life-changing experiences that had taken place behind your friend's closed doors, and though that's true of all of us, the negatively focused side of human nature may continue to point our minds toward making judgement calls that have not yet been justified by detailed facts, suggesting that the little we know is not all there is to know.  And as this very thing takes place in every person's mind, at one time or another, let's not beat ourselves up for being more judgmental than we'd think at first glance, because our brains are preprogrammed to make judgments before the most crucial facts have been considered, suggesting that we all have lots to learn about the complexities with which human nature can swirl a deeply valued relationship down the drain.

And hoping to have clarified that the writing process is cathartic, because strings of insight-driven details come to mind, I'd like to add one more detail, before today's train of thought pulls into a rest station where my mind will switch tracks from storytelling to doing whatever else needs my full attention, today:  Whenever a deeply complex stream of consciousness emerges from within the depths of my brain, I may feel compelled to review and add insights after having published whatever my intuitive powers had stimulated my thought processor to write—more than once or twice.  And as that has been true of the last lengthy train of thought penned before this one, you may want to back track, yet again, so as to consider insights that I'd felt compelled to plug into that post upon rereading it, today.

(BTW:  Most of today's train of thought was originally penned and posted on Feb. 8th, 2011)  
Your friend,
😊Annie