Friday, June 5, 2015

1333 WHO CAPTAINS MY CONTROL FREAK?

2015
Have I mentioned that control freaks come in two varieties?
The first variety harbors this subconscious misperception:
'Safety' is assured by micromanaging every decision that rightfully belongs to others
The second variety harbors this subconscious misperception:
'Safety' is assured by denying personal needs, which, creating conflict, rock the boat
As opposites attract, the decision-maker connects with the peace-keeper
And all is well until life offers the person, who fears making waves
Reason to stumble through a door where curiosity, concerning
Self discovery, beckons, and as each step taken toward
Personal growth entices the peace keeper to dive ever more
Deeply into the great unknown, guess what emerges, over time?
The voice that this person, who'd feared making waves, had
Swallowed during childhood! And as this voice seeks sound reason
To grow ever more clearly self assured, personal needs, which
Had coiled up behind a wall of denial, begin to ride out of
Subconscious repression on waves of impassioned expression ...
And as one change leads to another, the relationship between opposites
Grows better or worse for this reason:
Relationships are living things, and living things
Don't stay the same, very long, and here is why that's true:
Living things need nourishment to bloom and thrive or
They shrink up and die...
Oh wait!  A third possibility exists, as well:
If, as we age, neither person grows wiser about the three ring circus that
Exists inside our heads then the vibrancy of both minds feels so burdened
With emotional confusion, concerning personal loss, as to sour the mind
If both minds grow more dour, year by year, then both spirits feel
Too weighted with grief to feel joyful, and in the absence of joy
Life feels too depressing for words—been there, done that ... thrice

If you ask about the current mental state of my brain, I'm glad to report that
Intuitive trains of thought inspired me to pen this post, suggesting
Reason for my spirit to lift as this next thought comes to mind:
My thought processor feels more relaxed than was true earlier in the week, and
If you ask whom I credit for creating that change-for-the-better
I'll introduce you to the ring master, whom I've recently employed to
Oversee my control freak, who'd felt need to write for hours in search of
Insight into clarity, every, single day!

Once my ring master gathered my control freak (who proves a stubborn
Task master) under her protective wing, my think tank felt less burdened by
My burning desire to know myself not as my defense system
Perceives me to be but as I really am

Though penning posts about darkly defensive times caused
My conscious mind to flood with emotionl confusion—which
Drained my spirit of energy each time a subconscious secret surfaced—
My inner task master refused to free my think tank to rest until recently, when
My powers of intuition felt need of a ring master, who was instructed to
Hold up a stop sign, which made my control freak slam on the brakes

Upon engaging with the relentless nature of my inner task master
My ring master said:  Enough diving for insight, already!  At least for now.
Once our think tank feels rested, we'll pull our three ring circus
Out of this rest station and switch tracks, so our train of thought
Can make headway toward arriving at our next destination, where
Re-enacting our adventures in parenting are sure to
Re-energize our spirit's sense of joy ...
Bottom line:  Time spent with Ravi is joyful, indeed; however
"Joy is an inside job", and knowing that quote to be true
I hold myself accountable for inspiring
My spirit to feel joyful, for sound reason, every day ...

After listening intently to every directive that
Rang out of my ring master's self confident
Storehouse of knowledge, clear as a bell
My control freak, feeling bested, respectfully requested
An explanation, describing the three ring circus, which, left leaderless
Creates such a discordant cacophony of combustible emotion as to
Make my head pound with so much confounding commotion as to
Interfere with my processor's innate potential to decrease defensive nonsense by
Developing a partnership between common sense and intelligence

At this point, if your curiosity, concerning that explanation, is peaking
Please tune in, tomorrow, when my description of
The three ring circus, which accompanies me every place I go
Shows up on your screen—and BTW, you can count on
That being true, because my control freak wrote and edited
That post before my Ring Master gained control over my brain, as a whole ...

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