I'm about to do my best to describe what takes place when inner conflict has reason to intensify, thus causing anxiety to spike, and when anxiety spikes, common sense suggests holding off on making decisions that may run interference with personal growth.
If this post ends up in serious need of editing, please do not give up on me. This train of thought feels so complex that I'm not certain of my ability to express myself with clarity on the first or second try. Then again, this should come as no surprise: I'll try, try, again until I get it right. So, okay—here goes:
Let's start out by answering this question: What keeps the adult brain stuck in a place that's too narrow for our comfort zones to expand enough to embrace and absorb new schools of thought?
First of all, unexpected change feels disruptive, because the mind is programmed to feel peaceful when whatever is taking place, today, runs parellel with that which feels familiar in terms of our history.
A mind that functions most comfortably in a mathematical (structured) mode feels at peace when the emotional environment is under control.
Understandably, the mind that functions best, mathematically, feels quite differently from the mind that feels most comfortable when an emotionally charged environment embraces flexibility, thus offering creativity the freedom to think expansively.
Generally speaking, a mind that feels safest when structure is securely in place connects with a mind that embraces fluidity for his reason: Mother Nature deems it wise for opposites to attract—not to drive each other crazy, as is often the case when structure runs head on into flexibility, but in hopes that during the decision making process, two brains, one polarized structurally and the other polarized creatively will each gain insight into the importance of working together in hopes of establishing a common ground whereby change for the better will eventually restructure a wholesome sense of balance that proves enriching to the lives of both.
If that train of thought makes as much sense to you as it does to me, then why does that restructuring process meet with resistance More often than with success?
People are creatures of habit in that neuro-pathways, etched into our brains during childhood, form patterns of thought, which produce repetitive actions. As change disrupts habit, established patterns of thought feel disturbed, resulting in stress, and when stress remains unresolved, anxiety rises.
Heightened anxiety stimulates the survival instinct to fight, flee or freeze.
This instinct is left over from early days when men's clubs were actually bats.
Each time our basic survival instincts are naturally aroused, our think tanks are rendered fairly useless, and that's true of everyone, including the smartest among us—unless, during the calm before the storm, we charge our think tanks to create a simple plan that enhances personal growth while minimizing anxiety, all around.
Once this habitually calm pattern of thought, like the line of control, has been established, the well practiced brain remains focused on a problem-solving track, and no matter how great the pressure of anxiety becomes,this think tank does not throw in the towel. Rather than calling uncle, this think tank learns to tolerate anxiety while maintaining a course that resolves complex problems by creating simple plans of action that actually work :)
Here are two situations that heighten anxiety, thus spinning the think tank away from solving complex problems by seeking insight into the creation of sImple plans, based in common sense:
#1 A new experience catalyzes a loved one's traditional thought patterns to change in confounding ways from that which had originally matched your own, and as long as your mindset cannot recognize this change as signaling the other person's need to experiment with personal growth, your thought patterns may feel so sorely distressed as to try to regain control over a relationship that's moving, naturally, through the early stages of transition. As long as you remain blind to that insight, concerning change that you would not choose for yourself, each step toward personal growth will feel uncomfortable to everyone concerned. So, what's a family to do? Come up with a simple plan that enables everyone to keep his or her head on straight during turbulent times of change.
If it's true that change is the only constant in life then it makes sense to practice controlling your cool while the emotions of loved ones are stewing in a pressure cooker. It also makes sense to accept the relevance of this fact: Those who choose to experiment with personal growth embrace a natural, thus healthy approach to maintaining a flexible outlook on life.
#2 A new experience catalyzes confounding changes to take place within one's own traditional thought patterns, and this tends to feel stressful until a closed mind set expands. If the conscious brain is unaware of personal growth, laboring through this painful process while giving birth to new pathways of thought then a person's comfort zone will feel like a battle field where inner conflict usurps control until the expanded mode of reasoning has been fully integrated into the thought processing center of the brain.
If one is unfamiliar with the natural turbulence that accompanies this process of personal growth then the mind, which operates most comfortably in a highly structured setting may not associate inner conflict with this fact: While working to embrace change, flexibly (which depends upon having faith in the creative portion of the brain) must increase, suggesting that the highly structured portion of the mathematical brain will experience a heightened state of anxiety until the traditionally structured environment has been remodeled in a way that connects with common sense. It's important to note that during this remodeling process, an identity crises, which exacerbates anxiety, may take place. Whew!
As an end result of making one's way through an identity crises, narrow comfort zones expand. This expansion takes place during the last stage of this lengthy process of change, suggesting that vital parts of the old mindset have had time to intergrate with the new. Unfortunately, many, who remain stuck somewhere in the middle of change, do not experience this last stage of integration, where peace of mind resides, and here is why that's true:
Most people have no clue as to the laboring steps that must take place inside the brain when a mindset is moving through the step by step process of expanding toward change for the better. As heightened states of anxiety are not easily tolerated, the creative portion of the think tank defaults to the defense system, which resorts to fight, freeze or flee …
Those who love us work unwittingly against the process of change which may alter our thought processes in ways that may not meet all of their needs
We unwittingly disrespect our own deepest needs in the name of protecting the ones we love most … and that's why my blog is entitled:
HAVE YOU GOT A CLUE OR IS YOUR BRAIN STILL FOOLING YOU?
Actually, perhaps that title is in need of modification to:
HAVE YOU GOT A CLUE OR IS YOUR DEFENSE SYSTEM TURNING YOU AWAY FROM TOLERATING ANXIETY, WHICH HEIGHTENS DURING PERSONAL GROWTH SPURTS :)
During the middle stages of change, anxiety may heighten to untolerable degrees while the new mode of thought is replacing the old. During the last stage of change, integration takes place, suggesting that connecting the old with the new creates an expanded mindset which proves complex and enriching to everyone concerned—even when some are privy to the fact that inner growth has taken place while others have no clue.
Emotional pain, mental fog and inner conflict take place while the brain is actually in the process of creating new neural pathways.
Change takes time, and pain of inner conflict precedes gain, because new and improved, old neural pathways are not easy to come by :)
How do I know all this to be true?
During the past year and a half, experience has offered me sound reason to go toe to toe with more than one identity crises, and during therapy sessions, I ask Cary endless questions, which Cary—who has earned his Ph.D.—answers for me in depth.
Both Will and I had embraced a mindset that suggested we both had need to be strong during every crises that arose. Needless to say, that mindset was in need of change. Speaking for myself, I chose to bare the depth of my inner conflict, which had being exacerbated by an unnamed fear, had produced so much anxiety as to create a state of mental anguish, which had to be tolerated until I came to understand a heck of a lot more about the inner workings of my many faceted brain :)
The more I probe into the magical, highly complex workings of the human brain, the more I come to understand that which had stymied me about myself until my inquisitive brain had reason to connect with Cary's—proving, once again, that two heads are better than one, most especially when one brain has been brighted with insight into the power of knowledge, and the second brain quests hungrily for knowledge, concerning personal growth, which culminates in peace of mind and thus, change for the better, on both sides of the street :)
As to simple plans, which nest within the creative, and thus, expansive portion of my brain, well, my spirit is buoyed by calling upon this hope: One day, a sense of readiness may develop, offering two open minds an opportunity to discuss the hatching of a simple plan, which, considering needs, all around, may create a sense of joyful repose, which had not been possible, before :)
And now, I'm really glad to have ended this train of thought on an up note with time to spare, because I'm about roll out the Red Carpet to welcome my friends, who are looking forward to enjoying The Academy Awards with Will and me.
Though my spirit is eager to enjoy lots of fun, tonight, my head has tired while penning this post, so I'm about to push publish without rereading it, even once—hopefully, that which may not make sense will improve for the better when I get a chance to remodel any train of thought that proves so complex as to resemble the stage of metamorphosis that takes place within a cocoon, when the caterpillar, transforming into a butterfly, resembles one mind set integrating with another. I wish more people, experiencing personal growth spurts, could spin cocoons around their negative self perceptions until mindful integration is complete—sigh :)
Tomorrow, we'll return to those days of yesteryear, where the fertile mind of a ridiculed pre-teen—who has already taken several, hesitant steps forward—is unwittingly developing into a self conscious teen, who can't help but wonder what the heck to expect of herself while out on her very first date.
I mean, when we stop to think about it, Annie had missed out on those pre-teen years when boys and girls, crushing on each other, were integrating spin the bottle with seven minutes in heaven. Though every fiber of Annie's being had longed to be amongst those who had received invitations to those parties, that was not to be, so her weekend nights focused on baby sitting—and actually, all of that baby sitting paid off beautifully as you shall see when stories, concerning motherhood, unfold.
As for now—first things first—so let's jet back to New Year's Eve, 1958 :)
If this post ends up in serious need of editing, please do not give up on me. This train of thought feels so complex that I'm not certain of my ability to express myself with clarity on the first or second try. Then again, this should come as no surprise: I'll try, try, again until I get it right. So, okay—here goes:
Let's start out by answering this question: What keeps the adult brain stuck in a place that's too narrow for our comfort zones to expand enough to embrace and absorb new schools of thought?
First of all, unexpected change feels disruptive, because the mind is programmed to feel peaceful when whatever is taking place, today, runs parellel with that which feels familiar in terms of our history.
A mind that functions most comfortably in a mathematical (structured) mode feels at peace when the emotional environment is under control.
Understandably, the mind that functions best, mathematically, feels quite differently from the mind that feels most comfortable when an emotionally charged environment embraces flexibility, thus offering creativity the freedom to think expansively.
Generally speaking, a mind that feels safest when structure is securely in place connects with a mind that embraces fluidity for his reason: Mother Nature deems it wise for opposites to attract—not to drive each other crazy, as is often the case when structure runs head on into flexibility, but in hopes that during the decision making process, two brains, one polarized structurally and the other polarized creatively will each gain insight into the importance of working together in hopes of establishing a common ground whereby change for the better will eventually restructure a wholesome sense of balance that proves enriching to the lives of both.
If that train of thought makes as much sense to you as it does to me, then why does that restructuring process meet with resistance More often than with success?
People are creatures of habit in that neuro-pathways, etched into our brains during childhood, form patterns of thought, which produce repetitive actions. As change disrupts habit, established patterns of thought feel disturbed, resulting in stress, and when stress remains unresolved, anxiety rises.
Heightened anxiety stimulates the survival instinct to fight, flee or freeze.
This instinct is left over from early days when men's clubs were actually bats.
Each time our basic survival instincts are naturally aroused, our think tanks are rendered fairly useless, and that's true of everyone, including the smartest among us—unless, during the calm before the storm, we charge our think tanks to create a simple plan that enhances personal growth while minimizing anxiety, all around.
Once this habitually calm pattern of thought, like the line of control, has been established, the well practiced brain remains focused on a problem-solving track, and no matter how great the pressure of anxiety becomes,this think tank does not throw in the towel. Rather than calling uncle, this think tank learns to tolerate anxiety while maintaining a course that resolves complex problems by creating simple plans of action that actually work :)
Here are two situations that heighten anxiety, thus spinning the think tank away from solving complex problems by seeking insight into the creation of sImple plans, based in common sense:
#1 A new experience catalyzes a loved one's traditional thought patterns to change in confounding ways from that which had originally matched your own, and as long as your mindset cannot recognize this change as signaling the other person's need to experiment with personal growth, your thought patterns may feel so sorely distressed as to try to regain control over a relationship that's moving, naturally, through the early stages of transition. As long as you remain blind to that insight, concerning change that you would not choose for yourself, each step toward personal growth will feel uncomfortable to everyone concerned. So, what's a family to do? Come up with a simple plan that enables everyone to keep his or her head on straight during turbulent times of change.
If it's true that change is the only constant in life then it makes sense to practice controlling your cool while the emotions of loved ones are stewing in a pressure cooker. It also makes sense to accept the relevance of this fact: Those who choose to experiment with personal growth embrace a natural, thus healthy approach to maintaining a flexible outlook on life.
#2 A new experience catalyzes confounding changes to take place within one's own traditional thought patterns, and this tends to feel stressful until a closed mind set expands. If the conscious brain is unaware of personal growth, laboring through this painful process while giving birth to new pathways of thought then a person's comfort zone will feel like a battle field where inner conflict usurps control until the expanded mode of reasoning has been fully integrated into the thought processing center of the brain.
If one is unfamiliar with the natural turbulence that accompanies this process of personal growth then the mind, which operates most comfortably in a highly structured setting may not associate inner conflict with this fact: While working to embrace change, flexibly (which depends upon having faith in the creative portion of the brain) must increase, suggesting that the highly structured portion of the mathematical brain will experience a heightened state of anxiety until the traditionally structured environment has been remodeled in a way that connects with common sense. It's important to note that during this remodeling process, an identity crises, which exacerbates anxiety, may take place. Whew!
As an end result of making one's way through an identity crises, narrow comfort zones expand. This expansion takes place during the last stage of this lengthy process of change, suggesting that vital parts of the old mindset have had time to intergrate with the new. Unfortunately, many, who remain stuck somewhere in the middle of change, do not experience this last stage of integration, where peace of mind resides, and here is why that's true:
Most people have no clue as to the laboring steps that must take place inside the brain when a mindset is moving through the step by step process of expanding toward change for the better. As heightened states of anxiety are not easily tolerated, the creative portion of the think tank defaults to the defense system, which resorts to fight, freeze or flee …
Those who love us work unwittingly against the process of change which may alter our thought processes in ways that may not meet all of their needs
We unwittingly disrespect our own deepest needs in the name of protecting the ones we love most … and that's why my blog is entitled:
HAVE YOU GOT A CLUE OR IS YOUR BRAIN STILL FOOLING YOU?
Actually, perhaps that title is in need of modification to:
HAVE YOU GOT A CLUE OR IS YOUR DEFENSE SYSTEM TURNING YOU AWAY FROM TOLERATING ANXIETY, WHICH HEIGHTENS DURING PERSONAL GROWTH SPURTS :)
During the middle stages of change, anxiety may heighten to untolerable degrees while the new mode of thought is replacing the old. During the last stage of change, integration takes place, suggesting that connecting the old with the new creates an expanded mindset which proves complex and enriching to everyone concerned—even when some are privy to the fact that inner growth has taken place while others have no clue.
Emotional pain, mental fog and inner conflict take place while the brain is actually in the process of creating new neural pathways.
Change takes time, and pain of inner conflict precedes gain, because new and improved, old neural pathways are not easy to come by :)
How do I know all this to be true?
During the past year and a half, experience has offered me sound reason to go toe to toe with more than one identity crises, and during therapy sessions, I ask Cary endless questions, which Cary—who has earned his Ph.D.—answers for me in depth.
Both Will and I had embraced a mindset that suggested we both had need to be strong during every crises that arose. Needless to say, that mindset was in need of change. Speaking for myself, I chose to bare the depth of my inner conflict, which had being exacerbated by an unnamed fear, had produced so much anxiety as to create a state of mental anguish, which had to be tolerated until I came to understand a heck of a lot more about the inner workings of my many faceted brain :)
The more I probe into the magical, highly complex workings of the human brain, the more I come to understand that which had stymied me about myself until my inquisitive brain had reason to connect with Cary's—proving, once again, that two heads are better than one, most especially when one brain has been brighted with insight into the power of knowledge, and the second brain quests hungrily for knowledge, concerning personal growth, which culminates in peace of mind and thus, change for the better, on both sides of the street :)
As to simple plans, which nest within the creative, and thus, expansive portion of my brain, well, my spirit is buoyed by calling upon this hope: One day, a sense of readiness may develop, offering two open minds an opportunity to discuss the hatching of a simple plan, which, considering needs, all around, may create a sense of joyful repose, which had not been possible, before :)
And now, I'm really glad to have ended this train of thought on an up note with time to spare, because I'm about roll out the Red Carpet to welcome my friends, who are looking forward to enjoying The Academy Awards with Will and me.
Though my spirit is eager to enjoy lots of fun, tonight, my head has tired while penning this post, so I'm about to push publish without rereading it, even once—hopefully, that which may not make sense will improve for the better when I get a chance to remodel any train of thought that proves so complex as to resemble the stage of metamorphosis that takes place within a cocoon, when the caterpillar, transforming into a butterfly, resembles one mind set integrating with another. I wish more people, experiencing personal growth spurts, could spin cocoons around their negative self perceptions until mindful integration is complete—sigh :)
Tomorrow, we'll return to those days of yesteryear, where the fertile mind of a ridiculed pre-teen—who has already taken several, hesitant steps forward—is unwittingly developing into a self conscious teen, who can't help but wonder what the heck to expect of herself while out on her very first date.
I mean, when we stop to think about it, Annie had missed out on those pre-teen years when boys and girls, crushing on each other, were integrating spin the bottle with seven minutes in heaven. Though every fiber of Annie's being had longed to be amongst those who had received invitations to those parties, that was not to be, so her weekend nights focused on baby sitting—and actually, all of that baby sitting paid off beautifully as you shall see when stories, concerning motherhood, unfold.
As for now—first things first—so let's jet back to New Year's Eve, 1958 :)
No comments:
Post a Comment