With time spent in reflection, I've come to see traits, belonging to my mom or dad, which I'd unknowingly absorbed. (Monkey see, monkey do.)
Over time, each of these traits, which combine to comprise both sides of my nature, shall be explored in story-telling posts. Why?
So you can see that which I did not know about myself until, my quest for deeper truths offered me reason to muster the courage to dive ever more deeply into my mind in hopes of quelling subconscious pain that just wouldn't quit. Knowing better than to venture into this quest by myself, I've chosen to follow the guidelines, outlined by sages through the ages, as well as seeking guidance from professionals, who study the intricacies of the human mind, today. In a nut shell, I've learned that ferreting out subconscious pain requires time spent in serious contemplation of one's past.
On Father's Day I had reason to sit on my patio swing, reflecting over my Dad's most admirable traits. While communing with nature in the form of the mountain, rising high into the sky behind my house, Dad's open sense of high spirited honesty leaped to the top of the list. Dad loved climbing that mountain with his grandkids in tow, just as he'd loved the blue of the southwestern sky. And whenever I miss him most, I sit on that swing and envision the warmth of Dad's smile, covering the sky, while his eyes shine with love for me. Sometimes Dad visits me in a dream. Even while dreaming, I know Dad's not alive, so I hug him close and thank him for 'coming back' to spend time with me ...
It's not always easy to tell the difference between reality and fantasy of our own making.
In recent years, I've come to respect this fact: If one chooses to confront reality then engaging in conversations, flowing with pretense, feels intolerable.
When friendship depends upon pretense, both people shut their eyes, ears, and minds to any perception, which differs from that which they need to believe to ensure a sense of personal safety. As long as both minds deflect discomforting truths, both people will block any sense of reality that threatens to collapse their house of cards. Therefore, truth seekers, who whisper of forgotten facts, which scare this pair half to death, will cause both to blow smokescreens around conversations that dare to express perceptions other than their own. And each time this truth seeker draws near, power struggles, simmering beneath the surface of chit chat, threaten to explode.
My dad was a simple man.
Simple in that his sense of honesty gained no sense of mental trickery or wily innuendo, which steers conversations away from confronting deeper truths. During my youth, before my sense of awareness had reason to deepen, I'd watch Dad react with shock whenever his 'innocence' had felt duped by life's foibles—again.
Had I not chosen this path of self awareness as my own, it's likely that I'd have followed in Dad's footsteps throughout my life. If asked why I chose a different path, I'd reply: In time, we'll traipse through experiences, which had catalyzed my need to rewire this trait of naive honesty, which, I'd unknowingly absorbed from him.
I've come to believe that we, who remain gullible to a fault become fodder for those who profess friendship but leap toward negative judgment as soon as the energies of a generous giver are drained dry. Though it's true that tis better to give than receive, tis also true that replenishing one's energy source necessitates 'balance in all things'.
With time spent researching mindsets, I've come to understand the reasons why Dad had bucked the anger of all who had need to call Denialand home. Today, I've learned to tame my tongue so as not to share inner thoughts with those whose negatively focused perceptions repeatedly demonstrate a covert need to knock my strengths down. (If that was complicated to fathom—so are the intricacies of the brain ...) Needless to say, before inner strengths may be fortified, each must be correctly identified.
If I've grown quiet in your presence that suggests growth in selectivity when considering those who have earned my trust vs those who profess to know my traits but are mistaken. This awareness allows me to make better use of my mental energy, today, than before. Rather than attempting to explain myself to those who, for the most part, 'don't get me', I concentrate on processing through mental growth spurts on my own. In this way, over time, my connection to emotional maturity continues to deepen. In short, energy conservation is necessary if inner strengths are to mature from one level of understanding to the next.
By and by, you'll see how this affinity for personal growth has offered me reason to be less idealistic, more realistically honest and thus less disappointed in human nature than I'd been in the past.
Though I wish for the storytelling side of my mind to flow freely, again, here's what's taking place, realistically: I'm processing through a mental growth spurt.
Processing through mental growth spurts can prove as painful as laboring to give birth.
Processing through mental growth spurts, in which perceptions expand, takes time.
Processing through mental growth spurts feels as demanding as studying for final exams
Processing through mental growth spurts floods the mind with a wealth of information, amassed
Processing through the last stage of each growth spurt is an exercise in sifting
Processing through this sifting stage, where info divides into bite sized portions, is exhausting
At this stage in the process
I still feel the pressure of a mass of knowledge packed inside my head
While my mind works to dislodge and reorganize this wealth of knowledge
The subconscious side of my mind is dividing this solid block into bite-sized portions
In this way my memory bank is more apt to withdraw bite sized portions
Of information, which may prove necessary to pass life's current tests
In the aftermath of each next test, I'll rest until ...
Life offers me reason to climb toward the next plateau of emotional maturity
Having offered this description of mental growth spurts, imagine my brain aching
With the weight that accompanies the last stages of each mental pregnancy
Since the brain is a body organ
It should come as no surprise
That a brain, laboring to expand old mindsets ...
Feels every bit as taxed as a uterus in labor
I mean think about it:
If we could see our mindsets and the mind sets of others
Working to expand
Perhaps we'd feel less fearful and thus less judgmental—
More compassionate and welcoming when truth seekers
Choose to engage in the labor of giving birth to ideas, which
May prove universally beneficial
At some point down the road
In short, isn't time to stop killing messengers who mean no harm?
Socrates was poisoned by his peers
Newton was put to death by those fearing ideas that he'd explored
Joan was burned at the stake
Jesus nailed to the cross
Moses led his people but he'd not entered into the promised land
Lincoln, Kennedy, King ...
Each in his time (or hers) had been a truth seeker ...
In the absence of truth seeking leadership, groups fail to thrive
Oy ... time to pop two Extra-strength Excedrine
Oh—by the way, I just finished reading a really funny ...
Laugh-out-loud book:
THE LIFE AND TIMES OF THE THUNDERBOLT KID by Bill Bryson
If you were raised in the 'happy days' of the fifties
Try it; I think you'll like it ...
Though this selection proved highly unusual for my book club
Peals of laughter rang out throughout our discussion
J Annie
PS
My horoscope, today:
When you share your *honest appraisal of a situation
You do more good than you could possibly know
However, this is the case only if it's your job
To share the opinion
Or if you were asked to ...
Otherwise ...
I might try to hammer clarity into the closed mindsets of others ...
Who've yet to develop the readiness to absorb a slice of reality
That I'm hot to inject into heads resisting acceptance
On the other hand
Hope buoys my spirit by keeping this possibility in mind:
With patience, others may develop
The readiness necessary to confront painful truths, over time
Thus do I work to deepen inner strengths, such as these:
Patience, hopefulness and resilience
So that if the day dawns when doors, which remain
Fearfully closed to considering deeper truths
Muster the courage to open, at last
I'll be waiting to embrace our friendship, again
I mean, if I stop to think about it ... hasn't it taken time
For my doors to open to accept deeper truths, as well?
You see ...
Before a friendship, which cracks in half, can heal for real
The two, who make up the friendship
Must figure out which bonds of trust
Have broken down
As the only person I can 'fix' is myself
Here comes the deeper truth of which I 'speak', today:
Once I've done the work to identify fearful traits
In need of shoring up within me
And you identify fearful traits in need of shoring up within you
That's when a cracked friendship mends, as though all on its own
In hopes of healing broken friendships, sooner than later
Insight guides me to consciously set my sights
Upon living a quiet, honest, simple life with this hope in mind:
Upon striving to focus attentively upon my chosen path
I'll continue to explore mental growth spurts
In self awareness, which identify traits in need of shoring up
And once traits in need of shoring up have been identified
I'll exercise a wide variety of inner strengths
In this way do I stumble into the dark maze
Of pretense, less often
And as my mind has been sufficiently exercised, today
That's all folks!
Your friend,
Annie
Over time, each of these traits, which combine to comprise both sides of my nature, shall be explored in story-telling posts. Why?
So you can see that which I did not know about myself until, my quest for deeper truths offered me reason to muster the courage to dive ever more deeply into my mind in hopes of quelling subconscious pain that just wouldn't quit. Knowing better than to venture into this quest by myself, I've chosen to follow the guidelines, outlined by sages through the ages, as well as seeking guidance from professionals, who study the intricacies of the human mind, today. In a nut shell, I've learned that ferreting out subconscious pain requires time spent in serious contemplation of one's past.
On Father's Day I had reason to sit on my patio swing, reflecting over my Dad's most admirable traits. While communing with nature in the form of the mountain, rising high into the sky behind my house, Dad's open sense of high spirited honesty leaped to the top of the list. Dad loved climbing that mountain with his grandkids in tow, just as he'd loved the blue of the southwestern sky. And whenever I miss him most, I sit on that swing and envision the warmth of Dad's smile, covering the sky, while his eyes shine with love for me. Sometimes Dad visits me in a dream. Even while dreaming, I know Dad's not alive, so I hug him close and thank him for 'coming back' to spend time with me ...
It's not always easy to tell the difference between reality and fantasy of our own making.
In recent years, I've come to respect this fact: If one chooses to confront reality then engaging in conversations, flowing with pretense, feels intolerable.
When friendship depends upon pretense, both people shut their eyes, ears, and minds to any perception, which differs from that which they need to believe to ensure a sense of personal safety. As long as both minds deflect discomforting truths, both people will block any sense of reality that threatens to collapse their house of cards. Therefore, truth seekers, who whisper of forgotten facts, which scare this pair half to death, will cause both to blow smokescreens around conversations that dare to express perceptions other than their own. And each time this truth seeker draws near, power struggles, simmering beneath the surface of chit chat, threaten to explode.
My dad was a simple man.
Simple in that his sense of honesty gained no sense of mental trickery or wily innuendo, which steers conversations away from confronting deeper truths. During my youth, before my sense of awareness had reason to deepen, I'd watch Dad react with shock whenever his 'innocence' had felt duped by life's foibles—again.
Had I not chosen this path of self awareness as my own, it's likely that I'd have followed in Dad's footsteps throughout my life. If asked why I chose a different path, I'd reply: In time, we'll traipse through experiences, which had catalyzed my need to rewire this trait of naive honesty, which, I'd unknowingly absorbed from him.
I've come to believe that we, who remain gullible to a fault become fodder for those who profess friendship but leap toward negative judgment as soon as the energies of a generous giver are drained dry. Though it's true that tis better to give than receive, tis also true that replenishing one's energy source necessitates 'balance in all things'.
With time spent researching mindsets, I've come to understand the reasons why Dad had bucked the anger of all who had need to call Denialand home. Today, I've learned to tame my tongue so as not to share inner thoughts with those whose negatively focused perceptions repeatedly demonstrate a covert need to knock my strengths down. (If that was complicated to fathom—so are the intricacies of the brain ...) Needless to say, before inner strengths may be fortified, each must be correctly identified.
If I've grown quiet in your presence that suggests growth in selectivity when considering those who have earned my trust vs those who profess to know my traits but are mistaken. This awareness allows me to make better use of my mental energy, today, than before. Rather than attempting to explain myself to those who, for the most part, 'don't get me', I concentrate on processing through mental growth spurts on my own. In this way, over time, my connection to emotional maturity continues to deepen. In short, energy conservation is necessary if inner strengths are to mature from one level of understanding to the next.
By and by, you'll see how this affinity for personal growth has offered me reason to be less idealistic, more realistically honest and thus less disappointed in human nature than I'd been in the past.
Though I wish for the storytelling side of my mind to flow freely, again, here's what's taking place, realistically: I'm processing through a mental growth spurt.
Processing through mental growth spurts can prove as painful as laboring to give birth.
Processing through mental growth spurts, in which perceptions expand, takes time.
Processing through mental growth spurts feels as demanding as studying for final exams
Processing through mental growth spurts floods the mind with a wealth of information, amassed
Processing through the last stage of each growth spurt is an exercise in sifting
Processing through this sifting stage, where info divides into bite sized portions, is exhausting
At this stage in the process
I still feel the pressure of a mass of knowledge packed inside my head
While my mind works to dislodge and reorganize this wealth of knowledge
The subconscious side of my mind is dividing this solid block into bite-sized portions
In this way my memory bank is more apt to withdraw bite sized portions
Of information, which may prove necessary to pass life's current tests
In the aftermath of each next test, I'll rest until ...
Life offers me reason to climb toward the next plateau of emotional maturity
Having offered this description of mental growth spurts, imagine my brain aching
With the weight that accompanies the last stages of each mental pregnancy
Since the brain is a body organ
It should come as no surprise
That a brain, laboring to expand old mindsets ...
Feels every bit as taxed as a uterus in labor
I mean think about it:
If we could see our mindsets and the mind sets of others
Working to expand
Perhaps we'd feel less fearful and thus less judgmental—
More compassionate and welcoming when truth seekers
Choose to engage in the labor of giving birth to ideas, which
May prove universally beneficial
At some point down the road
In short, isn't time to stop killing messengers who mean no harm?
Socrates was poisoned by his peers
Newton was put to death by those fearing ideas that he'd explored
Joan was burned at the stake
Jesus nailed to the cross
Moses led his people but he'd not entered into the promised land
Lincoln, Kennedy, King ...
Each in his time (or hers) had been a truth seeker ...
In the absence of truth seeking leadership, groups fail to thrive
Oy ... time to pop two Extra-strength Excedrine
Oh—by the way, I just finished reading a really funny ...
Laugh-out-loud book:
THE LIFE AND TIMES OF THE THUNDERBOLT KID by Bill Bryson
If you were raised in the 'happy days' of the fifties
Try it; I think you'll like it ...
Though this selection proved highly unusual for my book club
Peals of laughter rang out throughout our discussion
J Annie
PS
My horoscope, today:
When you share your *honest appraisal of a situation
You do more good than you could possibly know
However, this is the case only if it's your job
To share the opinion
Or if you were asked to ...
Otherwise ...
I might try to hammer clarity into the closed mindsets of others ...
Who've yet to develop the readiness to absorb a slice of reality
That I'm hot to inject into heads resisting acceptance
On the other hand
Hope buoys my spirit by keeping this possibility in mind:
With patience, others may develop
The readiness necessary to confront painful truths, over time
Thus do I work to deepen inner strengths, such as these:
Patience, hopefulness and resilience
So that if the day dawns when doors, which remain
Fearfully closed to considering deeper truths
Muster the courage to open, at last
I'll be waiting to embrace our friendship, again
I mean, if I stop to think about it ... hasn't it taken time
For my doors to open to accept deeper truths, as well?
You see ...
Before a friendship, which cracks in half, can heal for real
The two, who make up the friendship
Must figure out which bonds of trust
Have broken down
As the only person I can 'fix' is myself
Here comes the deeper truth of which I 'speak', today:
Once I've done the work to identify fearful traits
In need of shoring up within me
And you identify fearful traits in need of shoring up within you
That's when a cracked friendship mends, as though all on its own
In hopes of healing broken friendships, sooner than later
Insight guides me to consciously set my sights
Upon living a quiet, honest, simple life with this hope in mind:
Upon striving to focus attentively upon my chosen path
I'll continue to explore mental growth spurts
In self awareness, which identify traits in need of shoring up
And once traits in need of shoring up have been identified
I'll exercise a wide variety of inner strengths
In this way do I stumble into the dark maze
Of pretense, less often
And as my mind has been sufficiently exercised, today
That's all folks!
Your friend,
Annie
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