340 LAST MINUTE HOLIDAY DE-STRESSERS ...

HOORAY!
Thank you for feeding my hungry comment box!
Anonymous said...
Okay - I think some suggestions are more than welcome! Every year, I try to make things more about giving, happiness, togetherness, and peace, but right about now, everything starts to get crazy! I do have my shopping done, but that might be about it. Any advice?


Let's go straight to a few last minute, holiday de-stressers:

 In hopes of creating the true spirit of rejoicing with loved ones, a calm leader must 'lead' the way before others  follow suit.

It's also wise to keep this thought in mind:  Holiday stress is exacerbated by the fact that we live exceptionally busy lives.  And creating meaningful experiences requires extra time, energy, and $ that we may not have to 'spend'.

Therefore, common sense suggests reconsidering traditions in need of adjustment.

Those of you with children (and depending on their ages) may consider holding a holiday meeting.  In short, creating a spirit of heartfelt togetherness requires A PLAN.

Let's consider this Plan, for example:

Everyone in the family is invited to take a seat around the kitchen table.

Simple snacks, like veggies and dip, pretzels or cheese and crackers are within reach.

Water, too.
And just like 'teacher's helpers' in school ...

One child is in charge of handing out papers on which to write.

Another is in charge of handing out pencils.

A third may hold the talking stick until it begins to circle round.

Once materials have been organized, the calm leader asks each person to seriously write one positive trait about each family member.  (Children, too young to write, may draw pictures)

Next, the talking stick is passed around as everyone shares his or her list of names and traits, aloud.

Then, the leader suggests that everyone writes what each loves most about the holiday.

Again, the talking stick is passed as thoughts are shared

Now, the leader asks each person to write the true meaning of the holiday in one sentence.

The talking stick is passed around as thoughts are shared, aloud, again.

At this point, the leader defines the word:  Tradition and ...
Each person is asked to write down one favorite tradition.

As the talking stick passes from one to the other, suggestions for helping with traditions are shared.

If too little help is offered, a tradition is temporarily crossed out ( just to make a point)

In hopes of 'saving' beloved traditions, the talking stick is passed and suggestions for help are considered, again.  At times we find that yesterday's traditions cause a busy family too much stress, today.  Families, looking to decrease stress, may consider how to help or make acceptable adjustments.

During the meeting it's wise to mention that attitudes may need retuning before traditions are  comfortably remodeled.

Just as stress is contagious, discussing stress-relieving ideas may be contagious, as well.

Each time the leader has reason to smile, followers usually do, too.

Let's consider a few stress-relieving, attitude shifting, smile producing suggestions:

Family recipes for cookies may be placed on hold while young children happily prepare, frost and decorate a package of slice-and-bake-cookies, which may be given to loved ones as 'gifts from their hearts'. 

As to house cleaning ... see if you can give yourself permission to ... 'Fudge' it for a week.

Upon accepting the fact that life is messy, you may inspire everyone's attitudes to lighten up by surprising your family with the gift of one day where certain chores are left undone.  (As the calm voice of reason, you get to choose which chores need to get done.)

You may agree to changes that make setting up and cleaning up as easy as buying an apple pie:

You may give yourself permission to invest in festive paper goods and retire the china, at least for this year.  As to next year ... let's hold off and play that by ear.

While holiday music floats through the air, you may ask your children to draw place mats with which to decorate the table.  This provides for a sense of helpful, light-hearted togetherness and a fun activity, as well.  And what might follow if the leader starts to sing in time to holiday tunes, right out loud?  Might the children, sing along?  And might hearfelt smiles feel free to tickle your fancy until laughter breaks through the stress?  Laughter is the best stress buster I know.

Here's an idea, which has proven to minimize stress and disappointment for all ages, year after year:

STOP at Target's, Sears, or any store with a significant toy catalogue.

Take home as many catalogues as you have children.

Give each child a catalogue and crayon or magic marker.

While you are busy 'with this or that', ask them to help each other circle toys, on page after page, which may be too expensive to hope for this year.  Clarify the fact that after they are finished discussing prices with each other, then you'll sit with them and discuss 'possibilities', which may or may not appear during this holiday season.  In this way, youthful expectations may begin to align with reality.  In the aftermath of these discussions, offer each child a different color with which to mark 'possible' choices for birthdays to come.  After helping each other with possible B/D choices, your children can ask you to join in their discussion, again.  In this way, children learn to discuss budgets while embracing a sense of hopeful patience when today does not 'present' everything they covet, all at once.  After writing each child's name on his or her catalogue, I saved them.  And as a birthday neared, I brought that child's catalogue out in order to discuss budgets and 'possibilities', again.

Like everything else in life

Children may be gently taught to embrace

The spirit of gracious generosity as they develop ...

One step, one discussion, at a time

If your child is more about getting than giving ...
That's natural to human nature

Knowing that to be a fact inspired me to make good use of the 'golden rule' ... 

Meaning that I taught my children just as I'd hoped others might teach me...patiently, tenderly, caringly

When children are led by a leader, who role models respect for their feelings

Young spirits are more apt to learn how to do-un to others without hanging their heads in shame

For example:

I remember when some of my children were old enough to save $ to spend on gifts.

I remember the older children watching the youngest draw pictures to give as gifts.

I remember the older children deciding to draw pictures and spend their $ on themselves.

I remember saying:  The little one has no allowance to spend on anyone.

I remember adding:  Let's call Grandma and Grandpa and tell them to draw pictures for you, too.

I remember my older children looking surprised while my suggestion hung in the air.

I remember saying:  Grandma and Grandpa spend a lot more on presents then you do.

I remember my children, jumping into the car, ready and happy to buy gifts for family and friends.

I remember their delight while Grandma and Grandpa opened carefully chosen gifts.

I remember drawings made and mailed to family and friends in lieu of thank you notes.

I may not remember exactly when each child grew to embrace the true spirit of giving, however ...

I am always appreciative of how they've evolved into adults who give so naturally, today.

Hopefully, following Halloween, I'll remember to offer up long range suggestions to ease holiday planning.  And if I forget, I hope you'll remind me.

If you have last minute, stress-relieving suggestions, which may be helpful to the rest of us, the comment box is always hungry!  And if any questions pop into your mind ... I'll gladly pass the talking stick to you ... 

JAnnie

PS ...

Did I mention that
Everyone in our immediate family flew in this week?

That within minutes, the house was a total mess?

That I've never felt more blessed!!!
That I didn't always feel messed and blessed, at once.
That I remember when mess produced stress.
Did I mention how fast each stage of life flies by?
Where have the years gone?
When did the kids grow into adults?

Did I mention that
Each time our family gathers
And everyone sleeps
All over the house
My 'kids'  feel blessed to see
How many of my attitudes have retuned?
As for me, I feel enriched to see
How naturally our spirits rejoice in harmony
And what, I ask, could be a better 'present' to offer each other than that?