351 HOW MIGHT ONE VOICE REALISTICALLY PROMOTE GLOBAL PEACE ?

When illness threatens good health

Our immune systems leap into action

As if Johnny-on-the-spot flipped a switch

Our brains are preprogrammed to react

With autonomic reactions before we ever see the light of day

So, this switch, which ignites healing, flips on automatically

Our emotional defense systems are preprogrammed

To react autonomically, as well ...

However, tis wise to keep this difference in mind:

Emotional defenses are programmed

To pick up steam as fast as two run-away-trains

With faulty brakes may switch tracks and crash, head on

As emotional reactions run toward losing control

We tend to 'fight for our rights'
Until lucid thoughts get tied into knots, so ...

Common sense gets sacked
Wisdom gets tossed onto the tracks
And we feel run over by a tons of trouble!

Once negative focus darkens mental connections
Our aim at resolving conflicts, peaceably

Veers off track under the weight of excess baggage—and

Oy-gevalt-clickity-clack

Here we go again:
Run-away trains, crashing head on, non stop!

If fighting and crashing prove to be classic human behaviors

Then, just as we encourage loved ones to get flu shots

In hopes of strengthening immunity to illness, which may prove fatal ...

Common sense suggests
My taking a shot at injecting family and friends with stories
Aimed at inspiring young and old to reprogram our brains

In hopes of stopping
Run-away trains
From inciting good folks to riot

During head on collisions, few can see how often tunnel vision

Undermines the good health of vital relationships

And thus do lovers and friendships suffer fatalities, unnecessarily

As you read true stories, which describe trains of thought

Which helped me to calm my own autonomic emotional reactions

Perhaps your desire to adopt self-soothing responses may develop, as well ... or

We can blow our own horns and butt heads like bulls

We can kick each other in the butt or kick up like mules

We can allow negative attitudes to shoot each other down ... or

We can consciously choose to make better use of our brains

By soaking up positive trains of thought

And astute listening skills

Which open our minds to considerations

That inspire both sides to take a shot

At healing injured relationships, all around

If asked how positively focused trains of thought

Manage to expand narrow mind sets that define

'Right from wrong', I'd reply:

As positive focus chugs along

Tunnel vision expands, and

As tunnel vision expands, darkness sees the light

As dark mindedness brightens up, guess what happens next?

 Hidden pockets of subconscious fear turn inside out
Baggage is revealed, and low and behold, deeper truths clarify, at last!

As new trains of thought clarify deeper truths

Idealistic tendencies switch tracks

And realistic bigger pictures entice disillusioned frowns to turn around

Each time you watch a train of thought
Transform one of my disillusioned frowns

Into positively focused smile

You may come to see why
I've come to believe that by exposing my personal experiences
Positive change may be catalyzed in mind after mind

And thus, as the focus of my blog aims to spawn optimism

I'll continue to entice you, from time to time, to encourage

Friends, family and lovers to absorb insights, as contagious as these:

Together, we can carve out a path aimed at soothing the savage beast within

Together, we can tame reactions, which whip up winds of emotional wrath

Together, peace loving people may stop engaging in subconscious wars for control

Together, we'll adventure through true stories that carve out peaceful pathways
Toward negotiating mutual respect, and in this way do I hope
To inject shots of clarity and inner peace into home after home

As you 'hear' my voice replace idealistic disillusionment with optimistic realism
You'll watch bonds of trust strengthen, between friends, family, lovers
And these same bonds of trust can strengthen ties amongst nations as never before

Most importantly, I aim to encourage you to see that the power of one

Can not inspire family and friends to walk the path of healing—until

Insight empowers each person to carve out that path for oneself

And thus, as the new year unfolds
I'll aim to show you ...
Story by story ...

How one volatile situation fired off another
Until one day I went to the park, opened my mouth
And was surprised to see the sadness in my heart spill out

You see, as a young woman
I opened my heart
To the ear of a friend

And after she listened to what I had need to say,

Her reply inspired me to open my mind
And soak in her suggestion, which changed my entire view of life

Thus, by opening up honestly and listening intently

I came to recognize symptoms of disillusionment
Which had caused the strength of my spirt to sag

Once my friend's train of thought opened my mind

I came to see how idealism had blinded me to realism

And at that point, I began to forge a path, which left La La Land behind

With time, instead of fooling myself, I learned to feed myself

Chicken soup for the mind, spirit and soul

And, much to my surprise ...

Negatively focused attitudes
Began to pop out of
hidden pockets in my mind

As clarity offered me reason to see where pockets of negativity

Had been playing cat and mouse with my sense of self trust

Hurdles, which had caused me to fall short of achieving heartfelt goals, vaporized

From then on, I've chosen to engage positive focus as my guide

And as my mind began to engineer trains of thoughts
Which forbade negativity to crack the foundation of my self-healing track

I've entertained self empowering
(not to be confused with self delusional)
Trains of thought, such these:

A woman, who's chosen to carve out a positively focused path

May spark the concept of inner peace
To fire up on a global scale

Hearts pumping positive focus
Less likely to send sons and daughters off to wage war
More likely to nurture peace-loving children

As that train of thought makes sense, here comes the next:

As a woman whose heart pumps positively, tirelessly

At promoting family education both personally and professionally ...

Perhaps my voice may serve

As a spark

Which ignites a movement aimed at peace on a global scale

And if today's train of thought inspires you to ask:

Well, Annie, what specific goals do you plan to accomplish

As the New Year unfolds?

I'd answer quite simply:

 Let's let history speak for itself ...

Meaning that as we walk past the old

And step toward the new

I plan to employ positive attitudes as guides

I plan to nurture open minds

I plan to continue to muster the patience
To see what a good humored spirit

With stories to tell
May spark, world wide

As the future unfolds ... minute by minute, day after day

Thought by thought, post by post, little by little
Two steps forward one back ... all the while ...
Encouraging others to hook up with me, on line

I mean, really, you can't think I'd aspire

To pulling the entire bell shaped curve of humanity

Across the time line, all by myself—right?

In truth, I'll keep writing post after post

In hopes of enticing you to inspire others

To push and pull that bell shaped curve, along side of us both!

Wishing you a safe, sober, and thus secure

Happy-sneeze-less-flu-less-but-not-clue-less-New Year's Eve ...

JYour optimisitc friend, Annie

350 WHAT IS MY HOPE FOR THE NEW YEAR?

My hope for the new year?
I hope to expand a grass roots movement
Which spreads mindfulness like wildfire
How might one transform a hope, so seemingly out of reach
Into a goal, worthy of working, tirelessly, to achieve?
Such a goal may be achieved one thought, one post, one reader at a time
Such a goal may be achieved, little by little, step by step ... in this way:
*Believe in the power of one, holding hands with the powers of many
And thus, do I entice you to encourage family and friends to connect with my blog
If asked why I entice you to promote my blog, I'd reply:
As we absorb stories ...
Concerning defensiveness transforming into...
Self trust, mutual respect and inner peace ...
We ponder over insights, which inspire personal growth
*Once insights into mindfulness have been absorbed, naturally, far and wide ...
Then families across the world may make gainful strides ...
Toward peaceful re-connection more trustfully, less painfully than ever before
At this point, if you were to ask how reading my blog
Might spark the start of such a monumental change, I'd reply:
Insights are thoughts ...
And stories filled with insightful thoughts
Inspire us to think differently than before
Then I'd say—what we think, we become—So
*If the written word can spark a wild fire
Spreading insight from one mind to many more, then ...
What hope for the future could feel more enriching
Than working, together, to fire up a global movement
Which seeks to encourage people of all ages and both sexes
To transform classic vulnerabilities into personal strengths!
And as this train of thought has been chugging through my mind
while I'm sitting in front of my computer
Sipping from a cup of chicken soup in hopes of nursing the flu ...
I grow aware of this fact:
*Each time a positively focused train of thought
Stokes my spirit with positively focused fuel
I re-energize myself to feel better than before!
How can I tell?
Seriously?  
Well, my positive focus is strengthening
And—I'm feeling cornier by the minute!
All kidding aside ...
This is not the first time
That I've pounded my hope for the future into my keyboard ...
One day, several years ago, while I was writing
In hopes of inspiring myself to catalyze this grass roots movement—
Concerning mindfulness—
A close friend walked into my office and looked over my shoulder
Upon reading my words, my friend declared:
Annie, you can't think to change the world all by yourself!
At this, I looked skepticism straight in the face
And heard the positively focused side of my mind reply:
Of course I can!
Then, as my brain soaked in the scoff in my friend's laugh
I tossed this thought provoking question, breezily, into the air:
Don't you believe in the power of one?
After a brief pause, my friend laughed, again ... but
Rather than skeptical, her laugh proved quizzical
And if you ask what might have caused her attitude to change
From 'scoffing' to 'reconsidering'
I'd reply:
The purity of my belief made her dig deeper than before
You see, as we dig deep, classic truths emerge
And in this way—as one mind connects with the next ...
We engage in discussions in which clarity of thought
Inspires each of us to agree with this fact:
*Our first thoughts are not always our best thoughts
And so, here I sit in front of my computer
Pounding away at my keyboard, today ...
Watching the purity of deeper truths march
Across my screen, one word at a time
And each time I write a post
Which tosses thought provoking questions
Concerning classic truths into your lap/tops ...
I hope to entice multitudes to dig deep inside your minds
Until hidden pockets of subconscious negativity turn inside out
And once negativity, exposed, is given good reason to fade away
Your brain, like mine, may open up to soak in new ideas
Which catalyze the brain to carve out channels of positively focused thought
Like the on-going series of thoughts, which inspire me
To sit down and write another post, day after day ...
Even on days when my head feels stuffed up enough
To sip chicken soup from a cup
And now that I've expressed thoughts
Which had been ready for release, today
My little voice is telling me
To ask you to contemplate a question
Which I'll leave to linger in the air
While I swallow my last drop of chicken soup ...
Down two Excedrine
And take my flu back to bed:
Do YOU believe in the power of one?

PS
Speaking for myself—You know I do!
Especially when we empower ourselves to reach out
And hold hands with the powers of many, around the world


PSS
If today's train of thought provokes you to stuff a question of your own
Into my comment box, and if that question proves to be:
ANNIE, WHAT IS YOUR #1 HOPE FOR THE NEW YEAR?
I'd most assuredly reply:
I hope the power of one will go forth and multiply
Then, I'd smile and thank you
For caring enough to see that my comment box
Feels happy, healthy and well fed!
And being mindful of having answered my own question
I hope you'll feed my comment box questions of your own ...
JAnnie

349 REFLECT RECONSIDER RECONNECT

In hopes of a better year ahead, here's a question to consider:
If valuable relationships are in serious need of repair
Do you have a clue
As to which of your attitudes, perceptions, and thought patterns
May be in need of review?

Once a relationship gets on the wrong track
Can we hope for improvement without considering
Attitudes, perceptions and thought patterns
Which may have caused someone who loves you to step back?
Makes sense to reflect, reconsider, and reconnect, don'tcha think?

348 QUESTION NUMBER FOUR ...

I wonder if a positive change may take place, today?
I wonder if someone may choose to comment upon question 4 in post 337?
Though I've had reason to evolve into an optimistic realist
It does my heart good to breathe life into the cock-eyed optimist, from time to time
Your friend
JAnnie

347 DEVELOPING AN OPEN MIND AND THE FLU

Earlier this week, I thought a cold was coming on
Though the cold didn't get worse, I didn't feel better
In fact, instead of feeling better I felt worse

As nausea, headache, weakness, and chills developed
My thoughts had reason to change
I began to wonder if my first thought was off track and this was the flu

So, let's review:
My first thought perceived this as a cold
Then new developments made me question my original perception

Questioning myself offers me the chance to reflect with objectivity
Objective reflection allows me to reconsider the validity of my original perception
Objective reflection sees trains of thought, which may need to switch tracks

If you ask what I may think, tomorrow, I'd reply:
Whatever I think will depend upon the bent of my ATTITUDE
As attitude is everything, I work to develop open mindedness about life and love.

In order for open minded attitudes to develop
I take time to consider new ideas
Which may expand the narrow confines of yesterday's perceptions

As expanded perceptions change my thought patterns
My defensive layers tend soften, over time, and my comfort zones relax
As comfort zones relax, walls, blinding me to my mistakes, begin to fade away

As defensive walls fade away
Hindsight expands my vision of yesterday
As my horizons expand, objectivity develops

Once horizons expand and objectivity develops, humility deepens
Guess what humility
Allows me to see?

My first thought is not always my best thought
In fact, my first thoughts may be likened to tunnel vision
In this way:

Tunnel vision produces judgments, based in too little information
So before I can astutely re-evaluate perceptions in need of adjustment
My first thoughts may be in serious need of review

If my perceptions remain too narrow to clarify mistakes in judgement
Then common sense suggests my mind may remain stuck in a tunnel too dark
To grow aware of how often I repeat the same mistakes, again and again

As long as tunnel vision blinds me from seeing
Where MY darkened views are in need of lightening up
My mind will remain stuck in an unhealthy place

And a mind that can't find its way out of a tunnel
Tends to heap all the blame for pain onto others ... because
Expanded views of reality are blocked by a person's defensive walls

All too often, relationships change for the worse
Because closed-minded attitudes narrow our views
In short, tunnel vision can't see REALITY as it actually exists

When I can't figure out why a relationship remains stuck in a dark place
I remind myself to reconsider which of my thoughts
May have gotten off track, a long way back

Upon opening my mind in hopes of expanding my view of the past
Hindsight offers me a second chance
To develop new thinking patterns

New thinking patterns
Allow me to embrace reality, more graciously
And thus, less defensively, than before

As my views expand
My mind reconsiders puzzling situations until—
Guess what tends to happen, next?

Forgotten pieces of puzzling situations
Tend to pop out
Of my memory bank

And as forgotten details are popped into place
Bigger pictures, which tunnel vision had missed
Come clearly into view

As my views and comfort zones expand
My mind absorbs certain trains of thought
More deeply than before

As each lucid train of thought couples up with the next
The pathways of my mind grow less tense
And low and behold, insight shines its light on this fact:

CLASSIC situations cause lovers, family, and friends to part ways

Each time my mind embraces another classic truth as my own
I fear the unknown less and thus does my new approach to life and love
Open brain space to absorb a greater sense of adventure than before

For example, upon embracing this fact:
The only constant in life is change
I felt free to reconsider patterns of thought, adopted during childhood

Once I consciously embraced 'change' as a constant
I grew to see where tunnel vision had limited my views
Recently, I've stopped sending myself on guilt trips that stunted my growth

Tunnel vision steers our minds toward one of two paths:


One path denies reality by star gazing and circling round and round in  La La Land


The other path spirals down into darkness, where bitterness and skepticism block the sun


By developing positive attitudes toward change, my sense of tunnel vision expands


As tunnel vision expands, I free my mind to stride toward personal growth


As positive attitudes and personal growth develop, my mind is steered toward hope


Heartened by hope, my mind fills with the courage and self trust to express these beliefs:


EVERY mind is vulnerable to tunnel vision


Tunnel vision blinds our minds to our OWN mistakes


Generosity of spirit may entice a closed mind to melt down layers of a defensive wall


As warmth melts defensive walls, forgiveness and love are perceived as one and the same


Each time I choose to permeate my mind with trains of thought
As healthy as these
My spirit feels hopeful that painful relationships may heal—little by little

And now that today's train of thought
Is ready to pull into a station
Where my heart will enjoy a tender state of repose

My mind strongly suggests tis time for my flu-weary body
To swallow Excedrine, down some juice and grab a nap—
Oh wait!

Me thinks to hear a Greek chorus taking its place on the stage ...
So let's spare a moment to listen up and consider thoughts
Which may differ from my own:

Bah humbug!
Nothing that you've said in this post is new!
We've heard all of that claptrap, time and again!


Ah!
So glad I've taught myself to pause and listen, reflectively to perceptions
Which feel the need to express a view different from my own

Listening reflectively offers me
Another opportunity to clarify the reason why
Producing lasting change can take so much time ...

Though tis true that I've posted today's train of thought, time again
It's my experience that classic truths
Fail to absorb deeply into our minds for this reason:

Every ear is in need of shoring up listening skills
You see, listening skills encourage us to differentiate between
Claptrap that fills silence with noise

And thoughts which challenge our minds
To muster the courage and self trust
To carve out new channels

Where insecurity, defensiveness and denial
May be left behind
Thus allowing classic truths and new ideas to penetrate our minds

So if you agree that lasting change occurs, step by step
Then perhaps you'll come to see why
I believe

That today's train of thought is worth repeating
Most especially as the end of another year
Draws near

You see, next year
And the year after that
There'll be nothing new under the sun—unless


Something entirely unexpected happens to you or to me
And then, all of a sudden ...
Same old-same old will feel ...


Un-be-lib-able
Unforgettable
Unforgivable— until 

We choose
To muster the courage
And develop the self trust


To figure out
Where we may be partially accountable
For making mistakes that push loved ones (and goals) away

As each person comes to hold oneself accountable
For making classic and thus human mistakes
That's when we'll exchange blind denial for seeing reality as it actually exists


And as every word in this post
Concerning our need to expand tunnel vision
Rings as true as true can be

Common sense suggests that each of us reflects over
Possible misperceptions
That perpetuate yesterday's mistakes

And what better time ...
To rethink perceptions, which have long been in need of  review ...
Then right now, as we ring out the old and ring in the new?
J

346 (RR&R) ANOTHER WORD FOR TRADITION IS ...

HABIT

If another word for tradition is habit
Then it makes sense to consider
This train of thought:
Just as good reason exists for changing old habits
Good reason exists for challenging attitudes, traditions and beliefs
Which result in resentment, separation and stress

As holidays
Commemorate hard won freedoms
As well as generosity of spirit
It makes sense to retune
Attitudes and traditional beliefs
Which elevate some by putting others down

And with that thought in mind
Here's what I hope rings true
As we ring in the New Year:
I hope our grass roots movement
Inspires mindfulness in home after home
Around the world

I hope that as we greet the New Year
RR&R may come to mean:
Reflect, Reconsider, Reconnect
And while referencing RR&R ...
Let's Reconsider this insight, as well:
Repetition is not Redundant when the goal is Retention

With warm hugs
Wide smiles and
REALISTIC hopes
For a better year, ahead ...
I remain your faithful friend,
JAnnie

345 A HOLIDAY PLAN TO DECOMPRESS OR ... EXPLODE!

If
The holidays offer
A time to feel
A time to emote
A time to exhaust
A time to reflect


Then
After the holidays pass
Is it not wise
To consider traditions
Which may be in need of change
Next year?


Each year, the holidays expose
A kaleidoscope of emotions
Swirling up and down
Like roller coasters
Which pick up the pace
Until our minds run out of steam ...


As that happens, year after year 
I'll encourage myself
To put on the brakes
In hopes of stopping My emotional engine
From bouncing and juggling so many balls
That I can't keep up with whatever I expect of myself, next!


Though your mind and mine may fare well
When balancing emotion and logic, day to day
There are times when LIFE bounces us so many balls
That self control gets too overwhelmed to juggle them all
And thus have I been teaching myself to consciously choose
Which balls to bounce or juggle—or not!


If you ask how I choose
Which balls to bounce, which to juggle
And which to turn loose
Here's what I'd say:
If a tradition makes me feel warm and cozy
I keep it close by


If certain traditions make me feel
Cold and prickly and resentful
Common sense suggests
Turning those traditions loose–at least for this year
Each time I remember to embrace flexibility
I free myself to choose balls to bounce, juggle or turn loose!


When I remember to embrace this new plan of action ...
I free myself to jump off of a merry-go-round
That spins so fast
I'd need two heads, four hands
And six legs
To get everything done!


If you ask me to pinpoint
The most relaxing aspect
Of adopting such a flexible plan, I'd reply:
I can best encourage
The spirit of giving to ring true
By giving myself a much needed break!


Each time I give myself the gift of sanity
I can consciously calm my mind
And once I feel calm—deep inside
I watch myself become a calming presence
Who is apt to give the best side of me
To everyone I love!


In order for this sense of flexibility to meet with success
I need to acknowledge a fact that's hard to accept:
You see, I want to make LIFE feel magical
In every way for everyone—but here's the catch:
I've yet to find a magic wand that works that way!
So, placing magic to one side ...


I offer my loved ones four 'presents'
Which encourage every heart to rejoice, together, in peace:
I offer my loved ones the 'presence' of my patience and smile
I offer my loved ones the presence' of a sane mind and buoyant spirit
And as human vulnerability is accepted as a given
I accept vulnerability, which abounds on all sides
And hopefully, little by little, one step at a time ...
Generosity of spirit will bounce naturally, back and forth! 



Needless to say
'Tomorrow' never fails to offer us
'Unknowns'
And that's why I'll choose to place my faith
In this uplifting thought
For right now:


Once this holiday whirlwind winds down:

I'll reflect over traditions in need of retiring or retuning
And by reconsidering traditions in need of change
I'll save my mind from turning into a human pressure cooker in need of release

And if you like this idea and give me a heads up reminder
I'll post holiday tips for minimizing anxiety
Before Thanksgiving draws near—next year!

JHappy Everything, my friends!
Oops!  Just dropped another ball!  Oh well!
Annie

344 GENEROSITY IS AN ATTITUDE

If
Attitude
Is
Everything
Then ...

How can your family
Strengthen
Generosity of spirit
Over
Cynicism?

The answer
To this riddle
Was revealed
September 24, 2011
In Post 271

;-)Annie

343 LET FREEDOM RING FROM LAND TO LAND!

Needless to say
The circle of love
Has yet to enlighten
Pockets of misery
Which, hopefully, over time
Will muster the courage
To develop the self-trust
Necessary to override fear
And live free of abuse

With that train of thought in mind
I ask each of you to consider
Which two traits must be strengthened
Before the concept of self empowerment ...
Frees the oppressed
From old traditions
Which blind us
To negative attitudes
That bind us to the past?

And in keeping with that train of thought
Here is my holiday wish for you and yours:
I wish you a 'present', which when unwrapped
Will permeate us, one and all
With the spirit of generosity
Which must ring true, through and through
If peace, harmony and human dignity
Are to prevail upon a global scale ...
If not today, then tomorrow—which is only a day away

With warm smiles
Optimistic hugs
And an ever hopeful heart
I wish my family and friends
The best that life has to offer
As we ring out
The old year
And welcome
The new
JYour friend, Annie
PS  Might you choose to feed my hungry comment box, today?

342 A TIME TO REJOICE!

When
The festival of lights
Silent nights
And circles of love
Encourage us to embrace
The spirit of giving
All at once
Tis time to rejoice
Throughout the world
Happy Holiday Hugs!
JAnnie

341 WHAT IF TRADITIONS GUIDE TOO MANY DAILY DECISIONS?

If adjusting holiday traditions is a tough nut to crack
Then how tough must it be to remodel traditions
Which guide our daily decisions?

How tough is it
To re-channel the pathways of our minds
When major change is in dire need of taking place?

What if you've been in denial
As to how often others depend on your mind
To solve their problems?

What if one day you come to see
Your need to reverse negative cycles
Which have been spiraling out of control—for years?

What if your mind wears out ...
Not from over use or
From diving into the deep?

What if your mind wears out
Because no matter what you've
Chosen to learn and share ...

Patiently
Tenderly
Care-fully ...


Denial wears earflaps
Which grow so tight
That closed minds can't seem to absorb a word you say?


What if rather than soaking in the wealth of knowledge
That floats out of your mouth on streams of hope
All that's heard is ... Yada-yada-yada!


What if denial
Defies clarity
Year in and year out?


What may result
When your energy, spirit and words
Are utterly spent?

What if you grow so heartsick

That your spirit can't inspire your body

To get out of bed?


What change may you need to make

Before your hold on sanity
Slip-slides away?


Do your mind and spirit need to wear out—as did mine
Or might you encourage yourself to see
How love blinds us to daily traditions in need of change?


What if an experienced friend
Pops up on your screen—repeatedly ...
Suggesting it's time to retune your mind?


Might the time be ripe to hold a FAMILY MEETING, this week?
MIght the time be ripe to consider A PLAN concerning ...
Traditions in need of retuning, so you can relax  instead of collapse?


If too few have a clue
As to what's clearly heading down hill
A caring leader might serve up suggestions along with  hot chocolate


And—just as my mind offers heartfelt gifts to you

Then in keeping with the spirit of giving

Might your mind open and offer gifts to me, too?


As it's time to consider question #4 in Post #337:

I wonder who may choose to feed 
My hungry comment box, tomorrow?
JYour faithful friend, Annie

340 LAST MINUTE HOLIDAY DE-STRESSERS ...

HOORAY!
Thank you for feeding my hungry comment box!
Anonymous said...
Okay - I think some suggestions are more than welcome! Every year, I try to make things more about giving, happiness, togetherness, and peace, but right about now, everything starts to get crazy! I do have my shopping done, but that might be about it. Any advice?


Let's go straight to a few last minute, holiday de-stressers:

 In hopes of creating the true spirit of rejoicing with loved ones, a calm leader must 'lead' the way before others  follow suit.

It's also wise to keep this thought in mind:  Holiday stress is exacerbated by the fact that we live exceptionally busy lives.  And creating meaningful experiences requires extra time, energy, and $ that we may not have to 'spend'.

Therefore, common sense suggests reconsidering traditions in need of adjustment.

Those of you with children (and depending on their ages) may consider holding a holiday meeting.  In short, creating a spirit of heartfelt togetherness requires A PLAN.

Let's consider this Plan, for example:

Everyone in the family is invited to take a seat around the kitchen table.

Simple snacks, like veggies and dip, pretzels or cheese and crackers are within reach.

Water, too.
And just like 'teacher's helpers' in school ...

One child is in charge of handing out papers on which to write.

Another is in charge of handing out pencils.

A third may hold the talking stick until it begins to circle round.

Once materials have been organized, the calm leader asks each person to seriously write one positive trait about each family member.  (Children, too young to write, may draw pictures)

Next, the talking stick is passed around as everyone shares his or her list of names and traits, aloud.

Then, the leader suggests that everyone writes what each loves most about the holiday.

Again, the talking stick is passed as thoughts are shared

Now, the leader asks each person to write the true meaning of the holiday in one sentence.

The talking stick is passed around as thoughts are shared, aloud, again.

At this point, the leader defines the word:  Tradition and ...
Each person is asked to write down one favorite tradition.

As the talking stick passes from one to the other, suggestions for helping with traditions are shared.

If too little help is offered, a tradition is temporarily crossed out ( just to make a point)

In hopes of 'saving' beloved traditions, the talking stick is passed and suggestions for help are considered, again.  At times we find that yesterday's traditions cause a busy family too much stress, today.  Families, looking to decrease stress, may consider how to help or make acceptable adjustments.

During the meeting it's wise to mention that attitudes may need retuning before traditions are  comfortably remodeled.

Just as stress is contagious, discussing stress-relieving ideas may be contagious, as well.

Each time the leader has reason to smile, followers usually do, too.

Let's consider a few stress-relieving, attitude shifting, smile producing suggestions:

Family recipes for cookies may be placed on hold while young children happily prepare, frost and decorate a package of slice-and-bake-cookies, which may be given to loved ones as 'gifts from their hearts'. 

As to house cleaning ... see if you can give yourself permission to ... 'Fudge' it for a week.

Upon accepting the fact that life is messy, you may inspire everyone's attitudes to lighten up by surprising your family with the gift of one day where certain chores are left undone.  (As the calm voice of reason, you get to choose which chores need to get done.)

You may agree to changes that make setting up and cleaning up as easy as buying an apple pie:

You may give yourself permission to invest in festive paper goods and retire the china, at least for this year.  As to next year ... let's hold off and play that by ear.

While holiday music floats through the air, you may ask your children to draw place mats with which to decorate the table.  This provides for a sense of helpful, light-hearted togetherness and a fun activity, as well.  And what might follow if the leader starts to sing in time to holiday tunes, right out loud?  Might the children, sing along?  And might hearfelt smiles feel free to tickle your fancy until laughter breaks through the stress?  Laughter is the best stress buster I know.

Here's an idea, which has proven to minimize stress and disappointment for all ages, year after year:

STOP at Target's, Sears, or any store with a significant toy catalogue.

Take home as many catalogues as you have children.

Give each child a catalogue and crayon or magic marker.

While you are busy 'with this or that', ask them to help each other circle toys, on page after page, which may be too expensive to hope for this year.  Clarify the fact that after they are finished discussing prices with each other, then you'll sit with them and discuss 'possibilities', which may or may not appear during this holiday season.  In this way, youthful expectations may begin to align with reality.  In the aftermath of these discussions, offer each child a different color with which to mark 'possible' choices for birthdays to come.  After helping each other with possible B/D choices, your children can ask you to join in their discussion, again.  In this way, children learn to discuss budgets while embracing a sense of hopeful patience when today does not 'present' everything they covet, all at once.  After writing each child's name on his or her catalogue, I saved them.  And as a birthday neared, I brought that child's catalogue out in order to discuss budgets and 'possibilities', again.

Like everything else in life

Children may be gently taught to embrace

The spirit of gracious generosity as they develop ...

One step, one discussion, at a time

If your child is more about getting than giving ...
That's natural to human nature

Knowing that to be a fact inspired me to make good use of the 'golden rule' ... 

Meaning that I taught my children just as I'd hoped others might teach me...patiently, tenderly, caringly

When children are led by a leader, who role models respect for their feelings

Young spirits are more apt to learn how to do-un to others without hanging their heads in shame

For example:

I remember when some of my children were old enough to save $ to spend on gifts.

I remember the older children watching the youngest draw pictures to give as gifts.

I remember the older children deciding to draw pictures and spend their $ on themselves.

I remember saying:  The little one has no allowance to spend on anyone.

I remember adding:  Let's call Grandma and Grandpa and tell them to draw pictures for you, too.

I remember my older children looking surprised while my suggestion hung in the air.

I remember saying:  Grandma and Grandpa spend a lot more on presents then you do.

I remember my children, jumping into the car, ready and happy to buy gifts for family and friends.

I remember their delight while Grandma and Grandpa opened carefully chosen gifts.

I remember drawings made and mailed to family and friends in lieu of thank you notes.

I may not remember exactly when each child grew to embrace the true spirit of giving, however ...

I am always appreciative of how they've evolved into adults who give so naturally, today.

Hopefully, following Halloween, I'll remember to offer up long range suggestions to ease holiday planning.  And if I forget, I hope you'll remind me.

If you have last minute, stress-relieving suggestions, which may be helpful to the rest of us, the comment box is always hungry!  And if any questions pop into your mind ... I'll gladly pass the talking stick to you ... 

JAnnie

PS ...

Did I mention that
Everyone in our immediate family flew in this week?

That within minutes, the house was a total mess?

That I've never felt more blessed!!!
That I didn't always feel messed and blessed, at once.
That I remember when mess produced stress.
Did I mention how fast each stage of life flies by?
Where have the years gone?
When did the kids grow into adults?

Did I mention that
Each time our family gathers
And everyone sleeps
All over the house
My 'kids'  feel blessed to see
How many of my attitudes have retuned?
As for me, I feel enriched to see
How naturally our spirits rejoice in harmony
And what, I ask, could be a better 'present' to offer each other than that?

339 HOLIDAY STRESS RELEASE ...

If you'd like to read a post concerning holiday stress relievers, which I've picked up through the years, then simply feed the comment box a question or two, and wait for suggestions to follow.

If the comment box goes  unfed, I'll assume that your shopping is done.  Gifts wrapped.  Cards written.  House cleaned.  Feast prepared.  Cookies baked.  Extended family is peaceful and relaxed.  Spirit of giving permeates every heart.  No stress in light of all that's undone.  If that's all true then all that's left for me to say is:
I wish you a happy, healthy, prosperous and peaceful New Year!

The choice
To feed the comment box
And consider suggestions
Which had been helpful to me
Is, as always, up to you
J Your never-give-up friend, Annie 

338 SIGH ... (5 QUESTIONS) 43 NATIONS!

Sigh ... no answers in the comment box ... so far.
Guess I should have added:
There are no wrong answers to those questions ...
Guess I'll keep hoping you'll feed it ...

In the meantime, let's release the answers inside my mind—starting with #5 ...

Why do I ask so many questions?
I'm eager to absorb as much as possible about dismantling my defensive walls.

If you asked why dismantling walls is so important to me,  I'd respond:
I aim to free my mind and spirit to adventure through life's delights with a natural high.

If you asked how do defensive walls block you from adventuring toward heartfelt goals?
I'd respond:  Let's walk through the maze of my life and let my history speak for itself.

As we walk through each stage of life's maze, you'll see me approach many forks in the road, where the choices I make will influence my fate.  And once I choose to walk a path, where insight into problem-solving skills identifies fears of which I was unaware, you'll watch the spongy side of my brain soak in powers of knowledge, which will broaden my perspective concerning the effects of—denial.

Eventually, as my focus turns toward this self-empowering path, you'll come to see why those, who choose to muster the courage to open their minds to personal growth, will eagerly couple up with me ... for example ...

Let's take a quick look at the cultural diversity, which has connected with my blog since post #one popped out of my mind and shot out into cyberspace, ten months ago:

U.S.A., Malaysia, Denmark, Russia, Brazil United Kingdom, Finland, Poland, Tanzania, Canada
Australia, Fiji, Germany, Netherlands, Latvia India, Sweden, Turkey, Columbia, South Africa  United Arab Emirates, Indonesia, Viet Nam, Peru, Hong Kong Venezuela, Belarus, Taiwan, Pakistan, Moldova Austria, Bangladesh, Burundi, Croatia, Italy Mexico, Norway, Jordan, Philippines, Serbia Ukraine, Republic of Maldives, South Korea Wow!  That's 43 nations! With no stats available concerning readership on Venus or Mars, I believe my greatest readership is based on Earth.  And according to the 'stats', which I choose to monitor, daily, people who live in these three nations choose to hit my blog most often—THE UNITED STATES, MALAYSIA AND RUSSIA. The fact that so many readers in such culturally diverse nations seek me out, day after day, inspires my belief that when we feel secure enough to unmask and connect with others openly, honestly and thus, more sincerely than ever before, we may find our needs running along parellel tracks more often than we'd perceived ... and as... There's much about life That I've yet to experience, suggesting There's lots that I don't know So, it makes sense to drop judgments And ask questions, wherever I go If you ask, what's up next, I'd repy: I need to switch my focus away from blogging And concentrate on parking karma, because ... I'm off to join crowds of holiday shoppers at the mall As for now, I hope you' ll keep these next two thoughts in mind until I return: Questions one through four are still hungry for answers Comment box is as faithful as man's best friend, and thus hoping to be fed ...