Yesterday I wondered why I needed to write about time out.
Today insight hit as to what inspired that post:
A oouple of days ago another person's subconscious fear sabotaged a goal that meant alot to us both, and I felt frustration flare. (The nature of that goal occurs too deep within my story be revealed, right now.) Though we'd discussed my response, resentment, concerning fears that sabatoge our goals, smoldered within. And while my mind was busy smoldering, here's what I forgot: I forgot how anger clouds the thought processing center of the brain. As my mind felt murky, I walked straight into a maze—of my own making. Literally.
I have sciatica. When I walk too far, the pain intensifies and just won't quit for days. Thogh I seemed calm, in truth, my brain had set up a smokescreen between the depth of my frustration and my ability to function with clarity. On a 'clear' day, I'd have thought to monitor the length of my walk. However, my thought processor was operating at half mast within that maze, so I walked, robotically, until, tired out, I returned and took a nap.
Upon awakening, sciatic pain radiated from hip to toe. Needless to say my ire increased, causing everything that was in need of release to constrict even more. It never fails: When operating with a foggy brain, I compromise my sense of well being.
Naturally, I gave myself a hard time. By naturally I mean instinctively, but instinct is not always smart. At this point I reminded myself to go with the flow, so the blood flow to my thought processor would not constrict, even more.
My dear friend, Syd, whose nurturing heart lifts my spirits, suggested a massage. Now why didn't I think of that? Because my thought processor was at half mast.
Hopefully, I'll remember my walking-robotically-mistake and not repeat it.
After the massage, I took a steam, floated in a pool and having focused on relaxation, I spoiled myself until my brain released enough dopamine to lift my spirit, naturally. And having refocused, positively, I hope to rebound from the intensity of the pain more quickly than had I not opened up and followed the sage advice of a nurturing friend, who had naught but my best interests at heart.
Light sabers for today:
Time out is meant to reduce resentment brewing in the brain.
Knowing whose advice to follow is key to shortening time spent in pain.
If subconscious fear makes you flinch away from sage advice then it's wise to ask what truth you may be afraid to confront. Knowing that the truth leads me out of a blurry state, where a negatively focused maze swallows up too many days, I do not seek advice from those who robotically agree with me. My go to person is someone who has the clarity to reveal a truth that my mind is too foggy from hurt, anger, frustration, fear, or pain to see—as of yet. So once again, thanks Syd!
Each time I remember how stealthily the subconscious mind sabatogizes us from achieving attainable goals, my ire relaxes, constrictions loosen up, and every part of my whole is released to flow toward healing, more deeply than before.
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