Today, I can sense the bolt of lightening that ignited a hot spot of residual pain, which I'd not expected to cloud my mind.
I'm referring to the death of my friend's child.
Evidently, I've been numbed by denial, concerning how deeply I still feel.
Though my mind's been a bit disorganized, I didn't relate recent thought-processing lapses to operating on two levels. Consciously I've been going about my daily life. Subconsciously, my brain must be conducting emotional static through my thought processor, causing my sense of clarity to cloud up. When my thought processor clouds up, I lose sight of my target and inject a hit or miss quality into my work.
Over the past several days, I've wondered where all of those ditties came from. Now, I believe this recent sense of cloudiness has collided with the fear that threw my mind into denial after tragedy hit my family when I was a child.
Now, I believe my defense system has been guiding me, gently, toward mustering the courage to acknowledge residual, unresolved pain, yet again.
Now that I think to know what's going on, I'll offer my whole mind a chance to rest. Thank goodness I can post that host of ditties, until such time as this part of my story flows out, pain free.
Now that I think to know what's going on, I'll offer my whole mind a chance to rest. Thank goodness I can post that host of ditties, until such time as this part of my story flows out, pain free.
Yet again
Writing proves to be cathartic
So if I tend to repeat myself
Please accept my apologies
Cloudiness does that, you know ...
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