219 A HEALTHY HOME IS A PLACE WHERE—

A healthy home is a place where
The true self is encouraged to bust loose of Denialand
A healthy home is a place where
Reflections of the truth—stop scaring you silly
A healthy home is a place where
Each learns to face the good, the bad, the ugly truth in our own mirrors
A healthy home is a place where
We may visit Denialand—but cannot dwell there, forever
A healthy home is a place where
Each is encouraged to learn why Denialand feels safe—for a while
A healthy home is a place where conflicts resolve peaceably because
Energy is expended upon positively focused, solution seeking techniques
A healthy home is a place where
Self control is practiced, so subtle put downs and insults do not slip out
A healthy home is a place where
Understanding, compassion and forgiveness are encouraged


If you wonder whether you've been living in Denialand
If you can't find your way out of a self defeating maze
If you want to face reality without fear ...


Seek out a healthy home
Where minds are open to learning
Where spirits are positively nurtured
Where bodies are well nourished
Where creativity is embraced
Where clean slates are plentiful
Where a rainbow of emotions exists


Seek out a healthy home
Where mistakes are seen as experiments
Where compassion soothes failure
Where discipline breeds understanding
Where understanding breeds compassion
Where compassion dissipate resentment
Where insecurity is healed
Where vulnerability is strengthened
Where accountability is rewarded with trust
Where egg shells are swept away and individuality thrives


Seek out a healthy home
Where each transforms vulnerabilities into pillars of strengths
Where each is encouraged to draw a map that differs from the rest
Where each map highlights every HEALTHY FAMILY VALUE listed above
Where each one's vulnerabilities feel free to ask honestly for help
Where each is so free to change that labels do not exist
Where each receives the gift of a clean slate at the start of every day
Where each feels free to carve out new paths, again and again


Seek out a healthy home
Where loving, courageous, highly diverse people dwell in harmony
Where individuation within the community holds hands with peace of mind
Where leaders demonstrate the humility to ask for help
Where Denialand proves to be too gloomy a place for lively spirits to dwell
Where you may feel safe enough to leave Denialand behind
Where you may come to see when family and friends need to intervene
Where you may make peace with reality in your own good time
Where the decision to make each of these choices is thine and only thine.


Though living in Denialand made me feel safe for quite some time
Denial bound my strengths behind make believe's plaster mask


A healthy home encourages pretense to cast off its mask
A healthy home encourages humility to face reality head on
A healthy home encourages families to discover who hides inside:


As for me:
I was a pleaser
I lived in Denialand
I wore out
I make sure to pass the baton before sailing away to rest and think deep
I became a tunneling, puzzle piece collector
I seek to compile bigger pictures
I reconsider misperceptions and half baked decisions
I resuscitate lost strengths
I identify vulnerabilities
I work to develop vulnerabilities into new strengths
I escape confusing mazes by carving out new pathways
I take turns leaping into or holding fast to safety nets
I thrive in communities where diversity is considered a strength
I thrive in communities where change breeds ambiguity
I thrive in communities where creativity leads to messiness
I thrive where compassion, courage, love and forgiveness abide
I thrive where the blame game gives way to peace of mind, all around


I chose to grow up twice
I had the good fortune to grow up in my parents' loving home
I chose to grow up, again, while raising my children
I plan to show you a sampling of several loving homes
I believe in first things first, so—
I will show you the home in which I grew up, first ...