THE GIFT OF LOVING KINDNESS

 “Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.

—LAO TZU”

Excerpt From The Family Gathering by Robyn Carr

Will and I were standing on the third floor outdoor landing of the apartment complex where we’d lived at that time.  We were awaiting the elevator to come up to take us down to our car when an older couple, walking slowly, hand in hand, appeared just as the doors of the elevator opened.  And while stepping to one side on the landing, Will and I motioned to the couple to precede us, which they did, their gentle smiles complimenting our own.

So there we were, one well groomed, white haired couple, holding hands, smiling at another couple, also holding hands (who having been married more than twenty-five years, had  continued to happily return the gift of the elderly couples’ smiles.  In less than two blinks of an eye, our gracious connection felt good  all around  upon reaching the ground level, the doors of the elevator opened, and just before the two couples parted, to make our way to our cars, the old gentleman, still holding his partner’s hand, turned to us and said five simple words, which feeling profound, still ring true to my heart, today:

BE KIND TO EACH OTHER

I remember returning his smile while replying:

WE ARE. (Though that had not always been true as being polite and kind are not necessarily the same.)

The story of how Will and I saved our marriage (from drowning in my tears of despair of ever feeling my husband’s loving kindness) is what I’ve been attempting to post to my blog for years—and one day, by golly, my intuitive powers will guide me toward feeling ready to identify the source of my resistance, freeing all of me to get on with the saga of our lives.

Did you ever read the books Mr. Bridge and Mrs Bridge?   These novels, read one after the other, tell the story of a marriage from both points of view.  Upon reading both versions of this marriage, we learn how little we know about the people we love, and more essentially, how little we know ourselves unless both people search deep inside where unidentified pain awaits to be aired, understood, discussed and healed for real.  There’s sound reason why opposites attract and then split up … it’s so common as to be considered classic.

50th Wedding Anniversary Party planned by our sons

Annie