SLEEPING WITH A STRANGER

 “Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.”

—Gautama Buddha”

Excerpt From The Best of Us byRobyn Carr

Many times, while reflecting back over the first 25 years of our marriage, I’ve heard myself say—Imagine me in one room, sharing my perspective of our marriage with a writer. And imagine Will in separate room, doing the same with another writer.  Then imagine these two writers  meeting for the very first time where they’d read each other’s notes—our names remaining unrevealed.  Once they’ve compared each other’s notes, here’s what they’d each be likely to say—These are two very nice people.  Too bad they’d never met.  They would have liked each other. A lot.  

Needless to say, my comments would have filled a legal pad; Will’s would have composed a single page, at most as he’s a man who’s known to be spare with words.  And in addition to that dissimilarity, it’s not uncommon for people to remember shared experiences differently.

Within most marriages, it’s easy to discern when physical intimacy disconnects; however a conscious awareness concerning the waining of emotional intimacy may be much more difficult for a busy couple to ascertain, suggesting my belief as to why lovers can, one day, look at each other and wonder—who is this stranger with whom I’m sharing my bed ...

Just as with anything worth keeping, tending to the good health of our most valued relationships is vital to the heartfelt longevity of treasured relationships.

Though during youth, a couple (on their best behavior while dating) can feel they fit to a tee, as time goes on, it’s not unusual for one person’s character traits to continue to develop while the other person’s personality, somehow, shrinks up, suggesting why we say a couple has ‘grown’ apart.  I mean, two young caterpillars can be well matched when hatched until one grows through developmental stages of metamorphosis  into a butterfly while the other remains defensively cocooned.  Have you ever seen a butterfly work its way out of its cocoon only to revert to crawling, again?  Me neither.

Annie