TEMPORARY DISCOMBOBULATION

Once I realized that my well-organized brain felt discombobulated, I made an appointment with my therapist, whom I’ve not seen for two years.

My appointment, which was today, extended over an hour and 45 minutes, during which time, our dialogue offered up the fact that I’m experiencing a healthy state of transition concerning my ability to recognize and handle emotional ‘triggers’ differently (effectively) than had been true in the past. And as we discussed recent changes in my attitude (especially concerning changes that are beyond my control), Gary guided me toward considering each change separately so as to inspire me to connect consciously with my current levels of acceptance concerning specific changes that I’d not choose for myself.  

As to my feeling overwhelmed and unsafe, Gary helped me to see that all of the recent events of these past few weeks (plus my lengthy recovery, Covid and the crazies that make up half of our country) offer up more than enough to cause any well-organized brain to feel temporarily discombobulated.  The fact that I reached out for help during this particular time of transition (concerning who I choose to be during the fourth stage of my life) suggests I’ve continued to carve out a path that moves my life forward rather than allowing ‘triggers’ to suck me into the past where subconscious fear of rejection had reduced my voice to a squeak whenever I’d felt need to say ‘no’ to loved ones who, barreling over boundaries, had to feed their need to assuage their fears by micromanaging every situation that arose.

Today, my voice is confident (not combative) while responding graciously to those who’d once had my unspoken ‘permission’ to place their needs above my own.  And when they push, I calmly stand my ground.

Bottom line:  These past two years of surviving life threatening illness increased my quotient of courage so significantly as to see me zip lining from point P in my personal development to point W more quickly than had I remained in good physical health.  In short, I didn’t experience two years of physical misery to submit to subtle bullying at this late stage of my life.

Viva La Gracious Voice!

🙋🏻‍♀️🔆🌻👻