On a personal note, Shainie and Michael, our dear friends for more than sixty years, are coming to visit, today. We’re beginning to invite friends, who’ve had covid boosters, into our house.
My heavy heart has settled into a mild case of angst. I’m actually eager to FaceTime with my therapist, Gary, tomorrow. It’s truly amazing that I’ve not felt need for therapy throughout these past two years of cancer, chemo, surgeries and pandemic, though in the aftermath of Shawn’s death, overload has caught up with me. Somehow I feel overcome by sadness though not overwhelmed, and perhaps that’s because I feel no need to hide my distress, and in addition to having learned to say no if asked to do anything beyond my current comfort zone, I’ve gained the wisdom to reach out for help. With Gary’s insightful perceptiveness, I’ll work through the spiritual weight of this malaise.
At some point, I plan to take and post photos of Ravi’s fairy village, which she’s still creating, as with each visit, a box, holding another fairy surprise, continues to appear somewhere on our patio. And I don’t know who delights more, during each treasure hunt, Ravi or me!
In deference to the fact that overload causes my brain to feel somewhat disorganized, the same may hold true of my posts based in the fact that I’m aiming to write (or not) whatever discombobulated thoughts pop naturally out of my head. And with this sudden awareness of not pushing myself to DO anything that feels forced, I’ll not be false to my true sense of self, and with today’s train of intuitive thought filling my mind, somehow, the heartfelt heaviness that has weighed my spirit down ever since Shawn’s unexpected demise is beginning to lift. Whew!
Perhaps all I need do to feel better is to identify ‘the shoulds’ as each one appears followed by taking a lesson from Ravi and bopping each one on the head. The red ones, the green ones, and the blue ones, as well. And when things fall apart in confounding ways, tis good to know who to ask for help before that which we can’t understand seems to go from bad to worse … 👩🏻🔆🌻👻
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