Upon review, my think tank was comma happy while composing this post, which I’m not planning to edit to perfection. Ahhh! Clarifying today’s decision to readily accept my imperfections relaxed my processor’s subconscious need to back track, repeatedly, so driven did I feel to work painstakingly toward Ttendung to every mistake in need of correction.
Sooo—upon my review of yesterday’s post, I found run on strings of insight galore in need of serious work if clarity of thought is to be yours and mine. However, as previously stated, I’m not planning to utilize my brain’s precious rest time by making grammatical clarity a top priority —unless, upon further consideration, I feel intuitive readiness redirecting my processor to change my mind as naturally as a surprise sun shower washes yesterday’s dust off of a healthy tree’s gently swaying, widely branching, leaves—
Ha! Then, guess what happened? Change my mind concerning editing yesterday’s post I did! Why? Well—as my processor continues to revitalize, day by day, another negatively focused fear (concerning the ease with which exhaustion makes my brain feel vulnerable to being sucked back across the timeline so swiftly as to spiral into yet another petrified episode of PTSD), filtered into the conscious portion of my mind, and upon its release from subconscious storage, my think tank’s clear connection to reality, having been restored, reduced yesterday’s fear of feeling too easily overwhelmed. And so, having consciously identified specific fears, freeing my processor’s angst-ridden anxiety to subside, a little more, every day, I can feel my overproduction of Adrenalin slowing down toward normal, freeing my processor to regain control over my ‘solution seeking tools as my whole self relaxes (more often than not) within a restful state of personal well being that signals my intuitive powers to reduce my need to seek out a safe place of solitude in which to harbor my mind, spirit and body’s natural need for an emotionally safe space in which anxiety based tension can continue to decrease, freeing my body to breathe in oxygen of which my over-taxed brain had been too long deprived, and once again, as my sixth sense feels intuitive intelligence recouping the energy necessary to quiet my processor’s most recently triggered spikes of latent anxiety, my brain’s naturally expansive capacity to multitask feels ever more capable of making corrections (though not to perfection), once again.
So though you may find run on strings of insight remaining too long for your sense of clarity to skate over as smoothly as would an accomplished figure skater gliding round and round a rink, if you choose to review each string of insight spotlighted within yesterday’s post, yet again, your processor’s connection to clarity need not fear dizzying so suddenly as if your think tank has fallen through thin ice, because, currently, each revised train of thought can, now, stand strong within yesterday’s post on its own, reflecting the fact that my processor’s restrengthened connection to clarity is becoming ever more deeply grounded within reality, day by day. And this change for the better suggests that the re-emergence of certain long repressed fears are currently relaxing their subconscious grip over my most recent disconnection from personal safety (though ‘tis true that other subterranean fears may continue to unknowing daunt my conscious connection to clarity as the future unfolds if their darkly shadowed presence is triggered to emerge by another current event that taunts my peace of mind by releasing yet another hauntingly unprocessed aspect of my injured self image, which, having been buried alive during childhood, remains repressed within an unidentified state of being so as to be triggered by a current event to re-emerge and flood my processor with yet another episode of latent anxiety until that unprocessed fear, newly released behind the iron curtain of my defense system’s wall of denial, is clearly named and thus disempowered from striking down my adult processor’s hold onto today’s reality with yet another bolt of lightening quick, whip-snapping, spike of anxiety so powerful as to shatter my self worth in less than a second flat, casting my adult strength of spirit into one of childhood’s traumatic moments, which sucks my conscious mind ever more deeply into bottomless abyss of my brain’s dark side, yet again ... Geez!
I’m sure you must realize how tired I am of episodic PTSD being triggered, repeatedly! Right?
On the other hand, at least I’ve come to understand the hold that undiagnosed PTSD has had upon my subconscious collapse of self worth ever since I was less than three when the darkest, scariest side of life had the audacity to smite down my life force (my spirit) with lightening bolt swiftness when sudden death terrorized my extended family’s emotional environment to a traumatizing degree twice within a matter of weeks with no explanation forthcoming concerning how deeply the long lasting nature of the specter of darkness had shattered my fledgling processor's connection to clarity and personal safety, over most of my life, until I was more than sixty at which time PTSD was astutely diagnosed and EMDR therapy begun, because I couldn’t stop crying. And since we have no way of knowing what else my three year old processor imagined was true of me unless current events continue to (shudder) trigger additional episodes of PTSD, I hold fast to the clarity of this intuitive belief: No one leaves childhood unscathed from repressed fear and pain, suggesting why no man or woman or child is an island, and thus do we intuitively seek each other out as though yearning to glean insight from one another by way of acknowledging that the classic characteristics of the human brain, which function within each of our heads, is comprised of a myriad of deeply mysterious, unique channels of thought based in differences between your experiences and mine, suggesting why ‘tis of imperative importance to direct our growing sense of self awareness toward focusing positively upon the expansion of the human spirit’s personal capacity to enjoy every moment of intuitive clarity that conjoins to blow each lighting swift, windswept thunder storm away, freeing space inside our heads for smart hearts to enjoy and explore sunny days, directly ahead, so as to expose our eternal sense of joy, which proves to be so fantastically elastic as to be contagious throughout the world as each of us goes about our business of living life to the fullest by offering love so freely as to feel utterly enthusiastically engaged with the sunny side of the street so as to express our positively focused attitudes totally naturally, answering why the enticing nature of spiritual effervescence emanating from within your life force and mine ignites warm smiles to alight upon the faces of strangers, as their spirits are ignited to lighten up (as seen when a twinkling sparkle in their eyes signals a sudden spark of neighborly friendliness as though, rather than being ships passing in the night, one good soul is quietly wishing good fortune to the next though it’s highly unlikely that our paths will ever cross, again ...
And in this way, does clarity of intuitive thought lead my whole mind to conceive of a grass roots movement flying through cyberspace in which more of us aspire to “Be the change you wish for the world”, day by day.
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