Imagine me reading WINNIE THE POOH while cuddling cozily with my youngest son at bedtime when his older brother, who had returned from overnight camp that very day, burst into room, his voice ringing out with: Mom! I think I know what a wet dream is!
Smiling up at my son’s animated entrance demonstrating his utterly unrestrained (natural) eagerness to confirm this titillating slice of information, I replied: I'll come to your room right after your brother’s tucked in for the night.
By this time, concepts considering privacy and mutual respect were held in such high regard on our list of family values that all three of my sons adhered to a code of rules (invoked whenever disciplining unruly behavior proved necessary, and one of those rules had clearly stated: Each child enjoys undisturbed one-on-one time with Mom at bedtime. If anyone ignores this rule, a consequence (which will show up in a story, some time later) is applied. Bottom line, rules and consequences went hand in hand suggesting that consistency on my part was key to success.
Since one-on-one time with Mom was a given, every evening, my older son, feeling confident that I'd be with him, shortly, nodded good naturedly, and just as fast as he’d dashed in, he dashed back out, validating this fact of life: Once the concept of mutual respect has been fully absorbed as a patterned routine, power struggles for personal attention are nipped in the bud, confirming, yet again, that—attitude is everything. And for the most part, attitudes developed during childhood, are as hard to shake as is true of habits, good and bad.
Next up, my youngest asked: Mommy, what's a wet dream? Chuckling, I replied: That's a question for another time; right now, let’s see what Pooh's been up to. As that made sense to the impetuous nature of a four year old mind, our attention returned to Pooh’s latest adventure, and at the story’s end, we both enjoyed gentle tickles, giggles, hugs and kisses, followed by lights out, no stalling—based upon the fact that all five of our minds had routinely experienced sound reason to adopt THE THREE STEP PROBLEM SOLVING PLAN, which included consequences whenever a family rule concerning self disciplined behavior was stubbornly ignored. (The successful nature of this three step plan will be detailed in a story showcasing sound reason why the simplicity of this plan popped into my mind when my eldest son was five years old.).
So anyway, as soon as my youngest felt peacefully tucked in for the night, I was off to engage wholeheartedly in a frank, friendly discussion concerning wet dreams (which expanded to include other matters of intimacy each proving to be age appropriate) with my eleven year old son, seen lounging on his bed, sci-fi novel in hand, awaiting my presence (as well as a bit of warm-hearted guidance) in his room down the hall.
Needless to say, the magical precision with which we’d agreed to adopt the concept of mutual respect did not happen, over night. Lots of consequences, conjured up by yours truly, were ‘paid’ by my rambunctious sons, whose tom-foolery tested my patience—sometimes to the bursting point, at which time my eldest would challenge me to hold it together by saying: You’re blowing it, Mom—so if I need to take a time out to calm down then you do too. (Actually, at some point, I’d given my offspring permission to respectfully remind me to role model the self disciplined behavior that was expected of them. Once, my eldest actually ventured to suggest that while in time out to restrain (retrain) my natural temper, I might want to review my notes.
And guess what?
My son was right!
In fact, his mature reaction to my display of anger was so to the point (which I’d been guiding all three to embrace), that my anger and his diffused on the spot, freeing our processors to calm down, think smart and regroup so as to reconsider and resolve whatever youthful shenanigans had naturally crashed into our family’s sense of peaceful co-existence, momentarily.
And now, he and I are about to engage in a topical conversation concerning—wet dreams ...
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