Aha!
It's The Fixer's subconscious resistance to retirement that has been undermining
My peace of mind by attempting to usurp control over my think tank, anew!
And while I've been blaming 'old age' for my inability to muster the energy to
Sit unnamed fear in a time out chair, insight into deeper truth suggests that
Most of my mental energy has been redirected toward wrestling with
The Fixer, who has been stealthily attempting to turn my think tank into
A five star general, capable of winning a war that continues to
Confound all the people in the world who feel compelled to
Defeat terrorists of all ages on so many fronts that
It's next to impossible to leave our homes, feeling safe ...
Yesterday, while listing fears, did I remember to include
Global warming and the 'ify' nature of our stock market's volitility?
Did I mention inadequate funding allocated for our children's schools? Or
Rising premiums on medical insurance? How about families and friends
Mourning countless lives lost in battle? Veterans returning in need of
Artificial limbs as well as EMDR therapy to ease the subconscious
Portion of their battle-fatigued minds of PTSD? Old age looming
Directly overhead? (Geez! Can you imagine the nervy nature of that fear
Managing to squeeze itself out of my subconscious, again, right here?)
And let's not forget the slo-mo war being fought throughout
The Middle East, which the world congress has done too little to stop from
Exploding over innocent heads on both sides for so long a time that
Future historians will S urely look back upon this war as rivaling
The Hundred Year War by thousands of years! Though leadership
Throughout the greater part of the Middle East has consistently
Fueled the fires of anti semitism to flare in a most glaring manner
This pressing problem of global refusal to fully acknowledge
The damaging factor of propagating prejudicial slurs of
One people against another has been in the process of
Unrepressing throughout our nation ever since Trump's
Divisive attitude opened the door in our communal wall of
Denial, behind which lies that sink hole of mega proportions, within
Which lurks a giant deterrent to world peace that embodies
The evil capacity to swallow up our global state of
Mental confusion just as a giant serpent can swallow
A sleeping man whole, so perhaps with all of these files
Flying open inside my mind, my mental connection to
Positive focus could only stretch so far before my brain, feeling
Bulldozed by my Fixer's need to resolve conflicts beyond
My control, ran smack into this episode of PTSD (if I'm enjoying
This stage of my life rather than pulling the wounded off
Battlefields then my self worth slides into a quagmire of
Quicksand faster than my think tank can throw itself a rope),
As each episode of PTSD stimulates my survival instinct to
Arise and shut down my sense of logic, diverting every iota of
My mental energy toward maximizing my ability to
Fight, flee or freeze in hopes of saving humanity from
Annihilating itself (thus, saving my life, as well)
My subconscious need to call forth The Fixer (who
Had need to retire) to save the world from
Imploding or exploding, whichever comes first ... explains why
The subconscious portion of my brain succeeded in hijacking
My sense of clarity's connection to logic, leaving most of
My brain, body and spirit feeling utterly overwhelmed by
The attitude of doom and gloom that pinned 99% of
My positive focus to the mat. And now that
My fully conscious, frightening confrontation with clarity
Has shown us why subconscious need to feel safe in an unsafe world
Directed my power of positive thinking to shrink a sinkhole as
Monumental as this one proves to be into a pothole, we can also see why
My Herculean efforts to bury subconscious fear, pain and anger
Ever more deeply within my subconscious served to overwhelm
My think tank, which assumed that my spirit could prevail by
Sailing over world-wide pain, anger and fear, which, rather than
Being imagined, is ever so real as to inspire my sense of insight to
Internalize the pain of others while my positively focused attitude wrestles with
Monstrous degrees of negatively focused cruelty, which continues to erupt as
Madness, escaping from within the bowels of mindless barbarism
Brainwashes human beings of all ages to revel in maiming and murdering
Innocent victims in the name of extremist fervor not unlike
The flaming tirades of religious zealots during
The Spanish Inquisition (when Morranos hid their Jewish affiliation in
Basements throughout Italy), unlike righteous Christians, who, within
My lifetime, chose to hide Jews from Nazis in attics and basements
Throughout Europe ... and knowing that both sides of
Human nature compete for space within every person's brain
What are we to do when today's brutal extremists threaten to
Usurp control over the world as a whole?
We most certainly do not elect a President whose utter lack of
Respect for diplomatic, solution seeking skills makes matters even worse!
And yet, that's precisely what we just did, and if that
Unbelievable reality has blown holes through my sense of sanity then
What else must befall us, as a nation, before our congress awakens to
Their need to hold themselves accountable to serve the greater
Good of our nation by not dragging their collective feet in fear of
Losing their seats, which they no longer deserve to call
Their own, because each and every time congress is in session, the
Main responsibility is to meet ... not the dictates of their parties or
To pander to the greed of big business or to propagate personally
Prejudicial attitudes but rather to heed their citizens' need to secure
Physical safety from harm and freedom of mind and heart
All of which are necessary to securing spiritual health
When we fail to connect the dots linking Simon Legree's whip with
Hitler's death threats to rule the world with Islamic extremists' declarations of
World dominance, we fail to note that Israel is not the only nation facing
The unconscionable threat of being drowned in the sea or blown to
Smithereens, whichever comes first... so when our President's narrow minded
Attitude of divisive isolationism inspires fear in deep thinking minds, I believe
That's because a majority of like-minded people throughout our nation, many of
Whom failed to vote, have not forgotten that united we must stand if extremists
Brainwashed to die for reasons that defy logic, are to be defeated, once and for all
This bigger picture that my intuitive powers just released from
The inner sanctum of my mind, where an overwhelming storehouse of
Fear and anger may still be repressed, suggests that Trump's blustering
Think tank blinds his intelligence and that of his cronies from acknowledging
Our current set of global crises (which the nations of the world as a whole can
No longer deny) with anything resembling clarity is this:
At the same time that the nations, which make up our world, are facing
A host of man-made crises, our president's lack of insight, concerning
The bigger picture, is darkening the attitudes of our allies when
We're in need of reacting like a band of brothers as had proved true during
World War I and World War II ... and if it's true that
United we stand so as to eventually win over extremist attitudes then
Tis also true that divided we fail each other so miserably as to have
Inspired my power of intuitive thought to break through my
Wall of denial and openly confront a host of subconscious fears that
Ganged up on my inner strengths like a bunch of thugs until
My thought processor's body of acquired knowledge
STOOD UP TO CONSCIOUSLY CONFRONT THIS EPISODE OF PTSD
So as to free the overwelming pressure of repressed subconscious fear, which
Made me feel as if a near and present, personally threatening
Stranger Danger was closing in, and by naming my fears, I've managed to
Regain control over the presence of mindfulness necessary to state
This trilogy of posts so clearly for myself as to identify
The host of inner conflicts that had fuzzied up my brain, blocking
My sense of insight from spotlighting my need to act wholely in
My best interest by consciously reminding my Fixer to accept
Its recent retirement, thus freeing my aging (but proactive) mind to
Relax until an ethical candidate emerges from within the ranks of
Leadership, whose communication skills and oratory strengths can
Rally the majority of well-educated American voters to
Open their eyes, ears and mindsets before our current blowhard leaves
Naught but carnage in the wake of his egocentric, rabble rousing
Reign over the free and the brave, and having summoned
A positive thought, at last (based in my belief that
It's impossible to think that no one, across our great nation, embodies
Those personal strengths) I'm about to pull this post into a rest station, and
Take a leap of faith off this train of thought in favor of fully appreciating
My good fortune to enjoy a play date with Ravi's bright, young mind, which
Never fails to charm mine with everything her thought processor
Soaks up as eagerly as a brand new, thirsty sponge ... and just think ...
The only thing that this trilogy of posts has changed, thus far, is my attitude
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