As additional insights were inserted into Post 1462
I awoke, this morning, feeling need to review that post, and
Lo and behold! Guess what happened?
That string of insights strengthened my conscious connection to
Courage, humility and patience, concerning my need to
Unrepress yet another unidentified, self defeating perception, which
Mother Nature thought to block from my conscious awareness until
Recently when I began to sense this unnamed fear, tunneling ever so slowly
Through my subconscious, as though a mild breakthrough of anxiety is
Alerting my intuitive sense of readiness to confront yet another
Self demeaning misperception, concerning my self worth
And here's why I believe today's string of insights will
Lead my intelligence toward spotlighting the wrestling match that's
Taking place inside my head between a haunting, daunting
Childhood fear and my adult certainty that, with self confidence intact
My well-practiced intuitive powers will make sound use of
Courage, patience and positive focus to calm my mild state of
Anxiety BEFORE this repressed fear has even been named:
Rather than wallowing in unknown fear, swirling my smarts ever more
Anxiously through the rapids of this current state of mental complexity
Today's intuitive string of insights has been refocusing
My intelligence toward seeking a specific door in
My wall of denial, behind which lies another fork in the road where
My brain's power to heal itself of this particular unnamed fear
Awaits my arrival, perhaps as soon as tomorrow
And as today's intuitive string of insights has already
Lessened my anxiety, I can actually feel my positively focused attitude
Re-strengthening for this reason: Having made sound use of
My smarts to secure a strong sense of emotional self control
I'm choosing to view this unnamed fear as a pothole in need of
Repair rather than freeing the fearful side of my thought processor to
Imagine yesteryear's black hole of subconscious despair sucking
My present state of well being into the boiling cauldron of
Undeserved guilt, which swallowed up my entire family in
The immediate aftermath of my baby sister, Janet's death, more than
Seventy years ago! And having acknowledged my belief that
Additional insights, inserted into Post 1462, served to
Encourage today's train of thought to pull into this station
Tis time to rest my whole mind until a natural sense of readiness
Draws my think tank toward reviewing and absorbing
These last two posts so deeply into my psyche as to coax
My subconscious to release new strings of insight, which may be
Revealed within my stream of conscious awareness, hopefully, when
Next we meet ... Hmmm ... suddenly I'm wondering if my need to
Release joyous stories was my defense system's egocentric way of
Deflecting my intuitive powers from reflecting
Ever more deeply, over intermittent uprisings of anxiety, which serve as
My brain's way of alerting my conscious awareness to grow attentive to
My need to name and tame yet another subconscious fear that's
Signaling readiness to unrepress ... and once this fear has been uncloaked
Guess what my intuitive sleuth will discover in hand?
A naked vulnerability that's been in need of strengthening ever since
Janet's tragic death caused the natural development of
My innocent, three year old psyche to swerve off course toward
A path, strewn with negatively focused misperceptions, which
Caused more than one aspect of my self worth to feel
So wounded as to have left me gasping for breath, and
Each time one of those festering wounds exhibits readiness to emerge
Guess what accompanies my growing sense of conscious awareness?
The same degree of anxiety, concerning my self worth, which had stymied
My think tank at the age of three—with this caveat: Whereas
A three year old child is utterly inexperienced at navigating around
Emotional sink holes, the experienced adult of today has come to
Place my faith in this tried and true fact: With EMDR therapy serving
As my guiding light, I feel self-confident that my inner detective will
Shine the spotlight of deeper truth upon this particular injury to
My psyche, which having suffered the effects of PTSD, has been
Painfully in need of healing for more than seventy years ... and
Now that today's train of thought has tapped into an intelligent sense of
Self confidence, here's why I believe my current bout of emergent anxiety will
Continue to diminish, no matter how rocky yesteryear's terrain proved to be:
I've worked to empower my smarts to control my anxious visceral reactions by
Visualizing my personal strengths holding steady to the wheel while
The whole of me drives over this pothole that will not suddenly feel like
A sinkhole, waiting to swallow me, as long as most of my think tank feels
Safely seat belted within my adult brain's knowledgeable hands, and
Though I cannot yet clarify where my intuitive powers may be coaxing
My intelligence to go, next, I respect the fact that anxiety suggests moving
Forward with a cautious sense of emotional restraint, because
The steps ahead seem to be beckoning my conscious awareness to
Ready itself to encounter a dark memory, and thus has today's post
Highlighted insight into why I'll not consciously choose to direct
The next lap of my path without being accompanied by
The astute coaching skills of my EMDR therapist ...
"Optimism for me isn't a passive expectation that things will get better. It's a conviction that we can make things better ... if we don't lose hope and we don't look away."
- Melinda Gates
No comments:
Post a Comment