I just realized that I never returned your call.
So sorry to have worried you when total exhaustion delayed my response. I totally emptied my energy tank when everyone flew in for Passover.
Though our feast and weekend festivities were wonderful, my lasting state of exhaustion has offered me reason to ponder more deeply than ever over my need to identify and understand yet another self defeating pattern in that I habitually push myself so far in hopes of providing my loved ones with high octane pleasures as to exhaust my life force so completely as to need weeks of rest and down time in which to refuel. Not a good plan.
Though our feast and weekend festivities were wonderful, my lasting state of exhaustion has offered me reason to ponder more deeply than ever over my need to identify and understand yet another self defeating pattern in that I habitually push myself so far in hopes of providing my loved ones with high octane pleasures as to exhaust my life force so completely as to need weeks of rest and down time in which to refuel. Not a good plan.
Though my zest for life saw me able to stretch beyond natural limits until I turned fifty, it's taken twenty years for me to pinpoint a pattern that's been in serious need of change, beginning with my baby sister's death when I, being three, could not fathom the layers of emotional complexity that confounded my ability to define my role in my family.
Thank goodness, intuition compelled my intelligence to quest toward absorbing mega-doses of self empowering knowledge, concerning the importance of self discovery, which I have had need to explore, over many years of therapy, because this current bout of exhaustion has opened my 72 year old eyes to my life-long need to understand why I've always felt so demanding of myself, suggesting my choice to retire my super hero cape. Since I already have a gold watch, I've decided to accept a slower pace as my just reward for a life well lived ... And to that end, I've discussed my addiction to pleasing everyone I love to the tenth degree, first with my husband and then with our sons, each of whom smiled while holding out his hand to accept the baton, which, over my lifetime, I'd mistakenly seen as my magic wand, which with one wave, empowered my solution-seeking skills to cast healing spells over every worry or pain that caused any loved one to frown, and hopefully, with this realistic view of another self defeating attitude in hand, my golden years will see me feeling as relaxed and corny as my texts to you prove to be, more often than not.
I ended my lengthy (so what's new?) text with: Imagine me still too tired to drive but not too tired to send a smile across the miles. Then, knowing my friend 's sense of humor to be as corny as mine, I asked him to reply to my text with a comment so corny as to make my smile laugh, right out loud.
I can't remember if previous posts have mentioned that
Will has been fighting a superbug, which has offered up
A hacking cough, for two months?
Will has been fighting a superbug, which has offered up
A hacking cough, for two months?
He's on his fourth round of antibiotics and
Having seen his internist twice
Having seen his internist twice
Today, he made an appointment to see
His pulmonologist, who, several years back
Had need to hospitalize my husband of fifty years when
A virus turned into a serious case of
Pneumonia that rendered Will's life force
Severely weakened for several months
A virus turned into a serious case of
Pneumonia that rendered Will's life force
Severely weakened for several months
In addition to Will's recent weeks of illness and
My bout with exhaustion, did I mention that
One of my favorite cousins, who was
14 years younger than me sickened, suddenly, and
Died, last week, and adding to my sadness was
The fact that exhaustion kept me grieving here while
My extended family flew to
The Midwest to grieve, together
Did I mention that we had to cancel our
Flight to see Will's 79 year old brother, who
We were told has lost lots of weight and
Seems to be failing?
Today's somber train of thought
Brings Erma Bombeck to mind, because
One of my favorite cousins, who was
14 years younger than me sickened, suddenly, and
Died, last week, and adding to my sadness was
The fact that exhaustion kept me grieving here while
My extended family flew to
The Midwest to grieve, together
Did I mention that we had to cancel our
Flight to see Will's 79 year old brother, who
We were told has lost lots of weight and
Seems to be failing?
Today's somber train of thought
Brings Erma Bombeck to mind, because
Her humorous way with words offered up
Painful Truths to the world until
Painful Truths to the world until
Kidney failure shortened her life:
'Old age is not for sissies'
Though history suggests that
My spirit has every reason to revitalize, over time
Several stiff shots of reality enervated
A lengthy bout of anxiety, which has
Run interference with my need to
Relax physical tension and mental strain, so
Though my spirit often feels
A lengthy bout of anxiety, which has
Run interference with my need to
Relax physical tension and mental strain, so
Though my spirit often feels
Younger than springtime, in truth
I ain't no spring chicken and
Since my brain has felt too tired to work at
Adapting to my recent change attitude
My mental strain has not relaxed, suggesting
Reason why my fuel tank has not replenished
I ain't no spring chicken and
Since my brain has felt too tired to work at
Adapting to my recent change attitude
My mental strain has not relaxed, suggesting
Reason why my fuel tank has not replenished
As to my Rooster, though
Will is young at heart, he, like me
Is no longer as young as
Denial fools us into believing we are
Will is young at heart, he, like me
Is no longer as young as
Denial fools us into believing we are
On the other hand, we both look forward to
Date night on Tuesdays, though the time of
Our weekly tête-à-tête begins at 4pm ...
And on that gentle upswing, and
Now that insight into anxiety has clarified
Reason for my lengthy state of lethargy
I'll treat my brain with kindness and respect
And, hopefully, rest my mind
And on that gentle upswing, and
Now that insight into anxiety has clarified
Reason for my lengthy state of lethargy
I'll treat my brain with kindness and respect
And, hopefully, rest my mind
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