Generally speaking, inner conflict disrupts peace of mind when two of my personal values clash, riddling the decision-making portion of my brain with confusion until intuitive thought reveals an insight into deeper truth, which clarifies a detail that had escaped my sense of awareness.
Since insight into deeper truth serves to open my eyes to subconscious fears and personal traits to which I'd been blind, it makes sense to muster the courage and humility necessary to peel away at my wall of denial in order to see the entirety of the person, whom I actually prove to be, presently.
Each time I consciously muster up the personal strength of humility to confront less desirable traits which my defense system had denied as my own, my sense of emotional maturity can save my ego from burning in the fires of humiliation, most especially at those times when my mirror reflects the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, concerning vulnerabilities in need of further strengthening.
Do you know what separates conscious truth from deeper truth?
A wall of denial, which blocks our think tanks from identifying subconscious truths, concerning that which we actually feel but have repressed from awareness. If you ask: why did Mother Nature program our defense systems to hide certain traits and feelings from our conscious minds? I'd reply: We hide from truths that make us feel so unsafe as to interfere with our thought processor's ability to function on a day to day basis.
If you say: Annie, I understand why fear is blocked, but what blocked your conscious awareness from identifying your unmet needs, over most of your life? I'd reply: My rcpressed fear of abandonment. As long as, I remained blind to the fact that my subconscious need to receive smiles dominated all of my other needs, my conscious awareness focused solely upon my ability irradiate frowns by satisfying the unmet needs of others. Why? Because the mere hint of a frown aroused the main root of my anxiety, and that remained unchanging until intuitive thought sensed my readiness for insight into my repressed fear of emotional abandonment to emerge from within the secret pocket within my subconscious where Mother Nature hid deeper truths, concerning fears, which had scared (scarred) a small child's self esteem half to death. And as long as that fear remained in its repressed (unprocessed state) my sense of security would suffer from bouts of undiagnosed PTSD.
As strings of insight highlighted my growing sense of awareness, concerning the unresolved nature of the root of my anxiety, which in the aftermath of Janet's shocking death, had left me (the surviving child) feeling unworthy of my parents' love, my subconscious fear of frowns lost its clout, suggesting the retirement of my life-long need to bend over backward to meet everyone's needs while denying the importance of my own. And thus did the conscious absorption of deeper truth relieve my innocence of undeserved guilt, which I'd foisted upon myself at the tender age of three, which, universally, proves to be a crucial stage of personality development.
Once intuitive thought, concerning my need for personal growth, identified my readiness to explore my latent fear of combustible, angry confrontation, clarity, concerning the universality of the human condition (meaning that all people could benefit from identifying repressed fears and unmet needs) coaxed me to muster the courage to take one careful step forward (into uncharted territory) after another until a host of personal vulnerabilities, in need of strengthening, showed themselves to me, one after another. And once insight into my readiness to muster the courage necessary to take conscious steps forward, toward making gains in emotional maturity, the creative portion of my thought processor began to conjure up simple solution seeking plans, each of which led to change for the better, all around. Upon reflection, the creative nature of these plans (each of which was based in personal growth on my part) began when my first child was two, suggesting my being 27 years old.
Today, common sense suggests that there are times within every person's life when questing toward deeper truth (concerning self discovery) makes more sense than remaining confounded about how best to resolve conflicts, which prove complex, universal and timeless. Having led classes in conflict resolution and problem solving skills for more than forty years, simplifying emotional complexity has become second nature to the creative center of my brain. And now that I've come to see how unprocessed fear exacerbates inner conflict, thus arousingspikes of latent anxiety, which serves to confounds our decision making process, my readiness to know both sides of myself chooses to identify fears to which my conscious awareness is still blind..
Whereas subconscious denial of deeper truth is born of unprocessed (unidentified, defensive) fear, my conscious sense of need for discretion (to times when solution seeking proves necessary) is born of experiential wisdom.
Today, with self discovery as my guide
My self assured voice is rarely silenced by unidentified fear, over long
Today, when fear clutches my conscious mind, I'm inclined to say:
Let me ponder over the confounding nature of this complexity, and
After I sleep on it (offering intuitive thought to filter into
My conscious mind) I'll get back to you
I say this knowing, full well, that insight into deeper truth may
Need to percolate, over night ... And once a simple solution
To a confounding problem speaks to me, I'll ask you to contemplate
The merits of a plan, which, being grounded in introspective insight, employs
Common sense to simplify complexity, so that
My think tank, no longer feeling confounded, can see why
The unresolved nature of our conflict proves worthy of further discussion
If you ask why my solution seeking success rate proves so high, I'd reply:
I place my faith in the fact that each positively focused train of thought is
Based in common sense, suggesting that intuition guides my self confident stance to
Know when to engage my well practiced listening skills vs when
To open my mouth and listen to deeper truth flowing naturally out of my mind
In other words, during times fraught with conflict
You'll not hear me say a word until I feel confident that
Emotional maturity and discretion are holding hands with kindness, suggesting that
There are times to expose deeper truth, as painful as it may be to hear, and
Times to withhold deeper truth in the privacy of my mind, rather than
Freeing everything I feel or think for public consumption
And thus do I believe that in order to develop the discretion and kindness that
Holds hands with the development of emotional maturity
Each person must advances on life's path toward personal growth by
Taking countless, cautious steps, at one's own pace ... Thus do I feel
Deeply appreciative of the fact that
My open-minded, intuitive adventure with
Positively focused, personal growth got off to a creative start when
I was in my twenties, and my children, being tiny tots with
Sponge-like minds, followed this Pied Piper's positive lead, so
Simply and freely, much more often than not, so as to
Suggest why our family relationships' sense of
All-for-one-and-one-for-all is fraught with so little inner conflict, today
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