Friday, October 9, 2015

1412S YOM KIPPUR—A TIME TO REFLECT WITH HUMILITY INTACT ...

1995
Imagine the expression of naked misery that must show on my face
Imagine my need for compassion at this most trying time of my adult life
Imagine me stunned as my rabbi, holding the sacred Torah, expresses his concern
Imagine the Torah, carried with reverence in the rabbi's arms, returned to the Ark
Imagine the congregation sitting down, resuming reading responsively, aloud
Imagine me, sitting toward the back of the sanctuary, feeling utterly dumbfounded
Imagine my sense of humility rising as I ask myself:  What just happened?
Imagine confusion playing games with my mind ... games like Red Rover
Imagine confusion and humility holding hands, chanting: Let Annie come over
Imagine my storehouse of misery breaking through a dam of social convention
Imagine an utterly silent torrent of tears, pouring forth as if my eyes are water falls ...
Imagine this waterfall of misery, outed but not yet identified as beginning at three
Imagine my racing heart, reeling mind and crestfallen spirit conjoining as one
Imagine my asking:  Why did my life fall apart when I'd followed every 'should'?
Imagine a quest to know my whole self, stirring within—not consciously—intuitively ...

2015
Upon reflection—
No matter our level of authority
Or attachment to logic
Or hope
We are, one and all
First, foremost and instinctively
Reactive human beings ...
Reactive to what?
Reactive to emotion running deeper than can be consciously fathomed ...

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