1412N FULL CIRCLE ...

2015
Awoke today with a heightened awareness of
Something rebalancing inside my mind
For several years, I awoke, daily
Feeling strongly drawn to pen intuitive thought
This week, I awaken with desire to read, suggesting
My need to express subconscious emotion
Churning within, which had been in
A comatosed state for most of my life, is
Turning a corner, where my brain—feeling
Light of heart and spongelike, again—has
Expunged a lifetime of unidentified fear, readying itself
To soak in knowledge expressed by
Minds other than those of authors whose
Works had stoked my need to muster the courage to
Bore through my wall of denial in hopes of
Freeing my spirit to be true to myself as a whole ...
And here's why this conscious shift in mindset portends to be
A very good thing, as the future unfolds ...
While my brain was focused, primarily
On writing, I had need to grow ever more aware of
Personal traits, emotions and reactions to crises that
My defense system had denied as my own ...
However, upon awakening, today,  feeling eager to read
I'm hopeful that my hyper vigilance, concerning
Inner need to identify, understand and embrace
The complex sum of contradictive character traits, which
Make me whole, has somehow relaxed, suggesting that
A balanced state of well-being (which
Had shattered at the vulnerable, deeply frightened
Age of three when the fires of tragedy had seared and
Scarred every heart, mind and spirit in my family)
Has come full circle, at last ... And so
If it's true that I've accomplished my
Long range goal of questing, tirelessly and
Tenaciously to draw forth subconscious fears, which had

Tormented me with undeserved guilt

Then it stands to reason that my
Brand new, rebalanced state of personal well-being
No longer feels compelled to
Pick up my iPad, review insights and simplify
Complexity of thought penned within
The  previous day's post before arising from my bed to
Greet each 'next day of the rest of my life' with
A heartfelt smile, signifying my delight in
Knowing myself, more deeply than defensiveness
Had allowed since I was a very young, terrified child
I mean, seriously ... rather than having need of solitude
In which to reflect back and forth in time while
intuitive thought sought an angle of repose for my self-driven mind
The sum of my rebalanced traits
Feels more than content to bask in the
Sunlit life that is presently mine ...
On the other hand, please do not think of today's post
As suggesting that my path, drawing forth trains of
Intuitive thought in hopes of attaining and absorbing
Greater depths of personal growth, has
Reached the end of the line
All I'm conveying as we pull into today's station is this ...
Having quested to liberate myself from unidentified
Fear, I've found my angle of repose, meaning that
I'll enjoy penning posts rather than feeling
Driven to tunnel ever more deeply into

My past in hopes of emerging with

Unidentified subconscious emotion, which
Causing inner tension due to undeserved guilt

Has long been in need of identification and release
And now, since David is here and
Steven just called to say that
He and Ravi will be over
In an hour's time, that's all
I feel need to say for today ... Except
To wish you the same five star day with those you love that
I'm eager to enjoy with my family as soon as
The doorbell rings, signaling my spirit to
Soar with pleasure in the presence of
A precious new life, whose
Ready smile delights mine to no end ...
Hooray!
Hooray for what?
Hooray for open minds, which
Quest, tirelessly to regain a lost sense of
Inner balance that senses
Life's truest treasure as being the human heart's
Innate potential to offer and receive love so
Deeply and completely as to
Expunge fearful and defensive reactiveness ...
Come what may ...