2015
After reading a comment that one of you sent to me, privately, I requested permission to share this reader's perception with you:
I absolutely don't tire of your repeating the same insights, because with each reading, different thoughts click with my own. Maybe it comes down to readiness and whatever else is going on at the time, but I always get something new out of each post you write. There are conversations I have now where I feel frustrated but am better able to understand what's behind that frustration. I've learned to look deeper from you. Thank you!
Hindsight suggests that during the traumatic aftermath of my baby sister's death, it seemed safer for three year old me to silence my voice whenever my parents' perceptions differed from my own; however, several decades after leaving childhood behind, I had an experience that jumpstarted my need to develop the self assertive portion of my voice.
This experience challenged me to muster the courage to expand the narrow channel of my comfort zone, which freed me to make sound use of my voice to express my truth, repeatedly, and here's how that change for the better came to be: While transitioning through this painful period of personal growth, I found that my silence allowed a group of insecure minds to spread gossip about me, based in false beliefs, which, upon being passed forward as facts, offered this group of people, who had claimed to be my friends, an open highway toward disparaging my personal strengths.
As deep seated feelings of betrayal almost drove me crazy—we can glance back at the very first post I ever penned to see that during this desperately vulnerable time, the depth of my confusion, loneliness and despair offered me reason to dive, head first, into the deep end of self discovery in hopes of understanding how my well ordered life shattered as fast as a flock of birds scatter when a shot of deeper truth is fired into the air, and though the unexpected nature of betrayal knocked my spirit flat, here's what I came to see, over time: The feeding frenzy that disparaged my strengths offeref me reason to seek insight into defining the term 'frienemy'. And over these past twenty years, insight into both sides of human nature have offer my intelligence reason to boost my sense of self respect, repeatedly. In fact, each time a new string of insights offers me reason to understand why an insecure mind may feed the need to put my hard won strengths down, I challenge those very strengths to pick myself up, dust myself off and place my ego aside in hopes of making sound use of my whole think tank to re-evaluate my relationship, not only with that 'frienemy', but also with myself.
In keeping with challenging myself to grow in self respectful ways throughout every stage of life, let's take note of this fact: At this point in my development, silencing my voice feels more stressful than fear of provoking the ire of another by speaking up for myself. In short, I no longer sell myself short by shoving an issue that's in need of open discussion under the rug until that which had been naught but a molehill grows to be a mountain range, made up of too many treacherous twists and turns to focus my mind upon the path that offers my spirit a series of heartfelt adventure into the great unknown. And in keeping with thoughts of creating change for the better by giving voice to the courage of my convictions, let's paraphrase from today's paper:
What one person considers direct, honest and necessary, another person may consider blunt, rude and hurtful. Test your audience before choosing your communication style ...
It will be helpful to know about the past, because this will provide a rich context for the leap of faith you are longing to make, right now ...
The one who imparts a forceful and persistent vision will change the direction of a group—making me ask: Does your attitude impart negativity (leading to separation) or positive focus, which deepens your sense of connection, not only to others but more importantly, to embracing both sides of yourself?
Just remember—without challenges there are no adventures
You don't have to earn your worthiness—you were born with it
You'll do the things that make you nervous. Don't bother calming yourself, because the nerves are precisely what will help people drop their defenses and relate to you on a human level (Hmmm! That one offers me food for thought ...)
This year, you'll be the sunshine in those lives that need it. As your passion amplifies, you'll be most persuasive, so apply your passion to creating something BIG! Though you involve yourself in what seems to be a risky opportunity, the odds are definitely in your favor
And with these horoscopes (which seem a lot like insights) flying around inside my mind, I'll ready myself to enjoy another five star day with our dear friends from Seattle, while hoping that you are enjoying the same!
Your friend,
Annie
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