2015
As you know, I choose to reread posts penned in the past in keeping with
My belief that repetition and retention go hand in hand, and
That insight proves especially true when my sense of readiness joins hands with
My need to problem solve by conjuring up a positively focused plan in hopes of
Creating change for the better, all around
That insight proves especially true when my sense of readiness joins hands with
My need to problem solve by conjuring up a positively focused plan in hopes of
Creating change for the better, all around
This morning, while rereading post 1260
An awesome insight lit up inside my mind, and
Here's why I chose the word 'awesome' on the previous line:
I'm truly in awe of the clarity that this insight has offered to me, concerning
A reactive pattern that I'd unknowingly adopted as a child
As you shall see, my adoption of this reactive pattern made me
As you shall see, my adoption of this reactive pattern made me
An easy target to be bullied into submission—as an adult!
Up until twenty years ago, this was my pattern with everyone ...
Then Will and I had reason to separate, and my self assertive voice
Had need to speak out in defense of my personal needs ...
Up until twenty years ago, this was my pattern with everyone ...
Then Will and I had reason to separate, and my self assertive voice
Had need to speak out in defense of my personal needs ...
Now that this epiphany, concerning self awareness, is mine
My behavioral pattern of submissiveness—
Adopted for safety sake during childhood—will no longer
Adopted for safety sake during childhood—will no longer
Silence my self assertive voice with anyone
And here's why I believe that to be true:
Upon reflection, it's become clear that at the tender age of three
I had reason to fear the eruption of traumatizing arguments that
Caused me to hide in the closet in the aftermath of my sister's death
The fact that my grandma cast passionate declarations of blame, which
Exacerbated my mother's pain, in the aftermath of the death of my sister
Felt so terrifying to me that I adopted an attitude of
Complacent submissiveness whenever
Another person's needs opposed my own, and
The fact that this reactive pattern of
Complacent submissiveness had been adopted, subconsciously
At such an early stage in my life explains why
My self assertive voice was silenced before it ever had
A chance to develop, and thus was it easy for me to follow
Every family rule, dictated by my parents, with a smile while
Denying the very existence of personal needs, which proved to be my own
On the other hand ... I grew up scratching my skin raw, suggesting
That I'd harbored an unidentified feeling that made my think tank set out on
An intuitive quest in hopes of absorbing information that would
Enhance my decision-making process in self-powering ways
And while writing this blog, I've gained insight into the ways that
Childhood trauma had thwarted the natural path of
My emotional development, early on—
Today, insight into my adoption of this life-long, reactive pattern
Shines a light on the reason why my energy source burned out, more than once:
Each time I focused solely on creating change for the better, all around
I forgot that the only person I can actually change for the better is myself!
And here's where repetition, retention and change for the better
Hold hands and circle round:
Deeper truth reminds me that the only subconscious that
I can penetrate in hopes of identifying my contradictive traits is my own ... and
That, my friends, is why change for the better, all around, depends upon
Each person in the family circle mustering
The courage, humility, fortitude and resilience that proves necessary before
One person's subtle need for dominance is identified by all, most especially
When the extended family hopes to resolve an on-going conflict in
A mutually respectful manner that ultimately feels harmonic to all
Needless to say, this is not the way the Hatfields and McCoys or
Capulets and Montague's were known to resolve long standing conflict ...
Holy cow! I believe today's series of insights has illuminated
And here's why I believe that to be true:
Upon reflection, it's become clear that at the tender age of three
I had reason to fear the eruption of traumatizing arguments that
Caused me to hide in the closet in the aftermath of my sister's death
The fact that my grandma cast passionate declarations of blame, which
Exacerbated my mother's pain, in the aftermath of the death of my sister
Felt so terrifying to me that I adopted an attitude of
Complacent submissiveness whenever
Another person's needs opposed my own, and
The fact that this reactive pattern of
Complacent submissiveness had been adopted, subconsciously
At such an early stage in my life explains why
My self assertive voice was silenced before it ever had
A chance to develop, and thus was it easy for me to follow
Every family rule, dictated by my parents, with a smile while
Denying the very existence of personal needs, which proved to be my own
On the other hand ... I grew up scratching my skin raw, suggesting
That I'd harbored an unidentified feeling that made my think tank set out on
An intuitive quest in hopes of absorbing information that would
Enhance my decision-making process in self-powering ways
And while writing this blog, I've gained insight into the ways that
Childhood trauma had thwarted the natural path of
My emotional development, early on—
Today, insight into my adoption of this life-long, reactive pattern
Shines a light on the reason why my energy source burned out, more than once:
Each time I focused solely on creating change for the better, all around
I forgot that the only person I can actually change for the better is myself!
And here's where repetition, retention and change for the better
Hold hands and circle round:
Deeper truth reminds me that the only subconscious that
I can penetrate in hopes of identifying my contradictive traits is my own ... and
That, my friends, is why change for the better, all around, depends upon
Each person in the family circle mustering
The courage, humility, fortitude and resilience that proves necessary before
One person's subtle need for dominance is identified by all, most especially
When the extended family hopes to resolve an on-going conflict in
A mutually respectful manner that ultimately feels harmonic to all
Needless to say, this is not the way the Hatfields and McCoys or
Capulets and Montague's were known to resolve long standing conflict ...
Holy cow! I believe today's series of insights has illuminated
The mental breakthrough that I've been working toward ever since
My father's passing, thirteen years back!
I mean if we stop to think about it—with death comes irreversible change—and
Eventually, change leads to conflict—and I've been working toward
Making good use of my self assertive voice for the past twenty years ...
And thus must I come to accept that much of the lasting change, resultant of
My years of hard work, has been taking place, step by step
Insight by insight, within the think tank that resides inside my head ...
On the other hand, that's not to say that every insight shared has gone unheard—
All I'm saying is this: My level of frustration lowers each time I remember that
Conflict, which has the power to awaken my subconscious fear, may
Cause little stress for you ...
My father's passing, thirteen years back!
I mean if we stop to think about it—with death comes irreversible change—and
Eventually, change leads to conflict—and I've been working toward
Making good use of my self assertive voice for the past twenty years ...
And thus must I come to accept that much of the lasting change, resultant of
My years of hard work, has been taking place, step by step
Insight by insight, within the think tank that resides inside my head ...
On the other hand, that's not to say that every insight shared has gone unheard—
All I'm saying is this: My level of frustration lowers each time I remember that
Conflict, which has the power to awaken my subconscious fear, may
Cause little stress for you ...
And with thoughts of one insight sparking the next
I'm about to suggest that you might want to consider
Insights, which I felt the need to add to post 1260 after
It had been published ... And
Now that I can feel today's train of thought pulling into the station
I'm about to suggest that you might want to consider
Insights, which I felt the need to add to post 1260 after
It had been published ... And
Now that I can feel today's train of thought pulling into the station
I plan to offer my proactive mind a well deserved rest ...
At least for, right now :)
At least for, right now :)
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