2015
Those who argue because they're sure they're right miss out on the chance to brainstorm toward a mutually satisfying solution
When the sun seems to be sleeping on the job, take that as your spirit's clue to spread sunshine throughout the world
Though it was ok to wait, yesterday, you'll be better off if you start before you feel totally ready—go for it!
Your story isn't over, because this is your chance to make a choice that felt impossible before ...
There are no do-overs, so build from where you left off ...
The internet has made it easier to put your message out there and capture the moment
If you ever cared enough to offer your very best, you can set your defense system aside and care every bit as deeply, again
Having learned that the human brain is an exceptionally complex machine, made up of many interactive parts, it makes sense to believe that certain trains of thought are driven by subconscious fear while other thoughts are driven by subconscious need, and this makes me wonder how often denial, concerning unresolved conflicts, comes and goes. And with today's train of thought chugging through my mind, it seems probable that, while my mind is engaged in writing, my ego may slip out, pen an unmet need into a post and slip back in, unnoticed by me, right? Then, as one thought leads to another, that last thought makes me wonder if I'd feel embarrassed to find that the needs of my ego slip into my posts more frequently than my think tank is consciously aware. And having asked myself that question, I'll hope to quell embarrassment by summoning humility born of this fact: Each time I write that our defense systems are designed to fool us, one and all, I am implying my acceptance of this fact, as well: Denial makes your mind and mine prone to paddling upstream, because my defense system is empowered to fool me as easily as yours is programmed to fool you. And once both of us accept that as true, we'd be wise to listen in earnest when one suggests to the other that denial, popping out of your mouth or mine, is stalling the sense of clarity that proves necessary before change for the better can resolve the conflict at hand.
Needless to say, it's ten times easier for me to mediate a conflict with a clear mind when the problem is not mine, and now that I've offered up this piece of my mind for your consideration, let's see how my round table discussion with the twins led to change for the better once each was coached to step up to the plate with clarity of thought firmly in hand. Once a sense of trust had been solidly established amongst we three, suggesting that the twins' concerns felt thoroughly heard and compassionately understood, we three invited Dino, the elder, to join us. And once clarity of thought was umping the game, the twins' father stepped up to the plate, trained his eye on the ball and hit a line drive that got our team spirit cheering to see him slide into first base.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Monday, March 30, 2015
1289 ESTABLISHING A SENSE OF PERSONAL SAFETY RIGHT OFF THE BAT ...
2015
If you ask why love in its purest form creates feelings, floating lightly on white clouds of happiness, I'd reply: In the beginning, love is about giving the best of oneself to the object of our affections regardless of what we receive in return. It's later, when defensive reactions arise, based in fear of loss, that love grows a bit more distant, step by step, until sonnets, which sing of emotion, bubbling forth, naturally, from deep within our hearts, grow ever more faint, as fear causes words of love to dry up in our throats ... and as change, born of fear, sees one mind motor away, the fishing expedition on the part of the other begins until words, floating on love, are so few and far between that all that's left of love is distant echoes of happiness from times past ... And in this classic way doth the purity of heaven-sent-love transform two people, delighting in an idyllic day at the beach to feeling like a pair of salmon, exhausted from swimming upstream ...
From the moment the twins crossed over the threshold from their world into mine, two crestfallen expressions, covering a pair of identical, olive toned, handsome faces, conveyed the depth of their angst, leaving no doubt that their upstream swim had tuckered both teen-aged spirits out ...
I gathered first one, then the other into my arms, and instead of bouncing back with a smile, each teen took a turn melting into my embrace at least long enough to convey that the gift of love, untarnished by defensiveness, condemnation, judgement or guilt creates a sense of personal safety that's actually palpable—in fact, I have no doubt that within those first intimate moments when we'd shared so much without so much as having uttered even one word, the twins sensed our bond of trust strengthening so naturally as to have melted away any fear of failure on their part while in my presence.
Once personal safety had been solidly established, the teens felt cleansed of fear of disappointing me in any way. And with the immediacy of our emotional bonding, vulnerability had reason to strengthen as quickly as my spirit led theirs to float toward my kitchen table, where heartfelt brainstorming sessions have historically taken place in the round for many a year ...
If you ask why love in its purest form creates feelings, floating lightly on white clouds of happiness, I'd reply: In the beginning, love is about giving the best of oneself to the object of our affections regardless of what we receive in return. It's later, when defensive reactions arise, based in fear of loss, that love grows a bit more distant, step by step, until sonnets, which sing of emotion, bubbling forth, naturally, from deep within our hearts, grow ever more faint, as fear causes words of love to dry up in our throats ... and as change, born of fear, sees one mind motor away, the fishing expedition on the part of the other begins until words, floating on love, are so few and far between that all that's left of love is distant echoes of happiness from times past ... And in this classic way doth the purity of heaven-sent-love transform two people, delighting in an idyllic day at the beach to feeling like a pair of salmon, exhausted from swimming upstream ...
From the moment the twins crossed over the threshold from their world into mine, two crestfallen expressions, covering a pair of identical, olive toned, handsome faces, conveyed the depth of their angst, leaving no doubt that their upstream swim had tuckered both teen-aged spirits out ...
I gathered first one, then the other into my arms, and instead of bouncing back with a smile, each teen took a turn melting into my embrace at least long enough to convey that the gift of love, untarnished by defensiveness, condemnation, judgement or guilt creates a sense of personal safety that's actually palpable—in fact, I have no doubt that within those first intimate moments when we'd shared so much without so much as having uttered even one word, the twins sensed our bond of trust strengthening so naturally as to have melted away any fear of failure on their part while in my presence.
Once personal safety had been solidly established, the teens felt cleansed of fear of disappointing me in any way. And with the immediacy of our emotional bonding, vulnerability had reason to strengthen as quickly as my spirit led theirs to float toward my kitchen table, where heartfelt brainstorming sessions have historically taken place in the round for many a year ...
Sunday, March 29, 2015
1288 WHEN CONSIDERING ATTITUDES IN NEED OF CHANGE, DETAILED ACCURACY ISKEY TO COMMUNICATING WITH ATTENTION TO CLARITY
2015
Very little time for writing over this past weekend. Why not? From Wednesday through Saturday, Will and I enjoyed ourselves at an international Ortho convention in Vegas. And having benefited from convention rates, we stayed at the Wynn, which is one of the most whimsically decorated hotels I've ever seen. With every stroll taken through the Wynn, my spirit soars as light heartedly as if I'm the heroine, who will inevitably enjoy a happy ending as the last moments of an animated Disney film wind down. Well actually, if detailed accuracy is key to communicating with attention to clarity, I had a great time in Vegas, Will not so much. Why not? Because he'd packed an old mindset that we'd once shared until I shed the old for a new frame of mind which has become my very own.
Let me fill you in on changes in Vegas that changed our minds about Vegas, over close to fifty years:
Our first trip to Vegas, which proved personal rather than professional in nature, took place in the summer of 1968. Upon walking into the lobby of the Sahara Hotel, we, being a couple of Midwesterners, were stunned by the onslaught of lights amid the din of ding-ding-dings of countless one armed bandits, and, later, as we drove down the strip on our very first evening in Nevada's gambling Mecca, we found ourselves memorized by the magical barrage of technicolored, neon lights, flashing on and off, beneath a darkened sky so clear of urban soot and grime as to have mirrored the sense of star-studded wonderment shining forth from our eyes. (As much as we continue to be a deeply devoted pair, my adventures into self awareness has offered me reason grow to be a highly individuated I.)
So, anyway, back in 1968, Will and I were in a crowded, high rise elevator, zooming up to our room after our first day of sunning around the desert pool where the sweltering temperature had climbed to heights beyond 105 degrees when I fainted dead away. OMG! exclaimed bystanders, peering down at that which appeared to be my lifeless form, lying on the floor, while all, who were crammed inside the small square metal box, which continued to be conveyed up, up, up, heard one voice call out—Someone call a doctor! Will, kneeling over me, looked up at many pairs of frightened eyes, belonging to this group of strangers, who, like us, had spent the afternoon sunning, shopping or gambling, and calmly, reassuringly said: No worries. She'll be fine. Then, upon reaching our floor, Prince Charming roused the sleeping princess, gently, before leading her out of the open door, where a very woozy me managed to sway toward our room, and after laying the young princess tenderly on our bed, the prince offered me water while suggesting that I rest. Actually, had this man of few words spared a few more, Will could have relaxed the concern of every observer 100% by saying: I am a doctor, and my wife is newly pregnant with our first child ...
Faint or not, we fell in love with the glamor, which cloaked the underbelly of Vegas, during the sixties, when sundown saw temperatures drop while couples, awakening from sun kissed naps, readied their sunburnt selves (never having heard of skin cancer or sunscreen) to saunter through the casinos, bedecked in finery, as we made our way toward the elegance of velveted booths in supper clubs, where palms were greased in order to command a coveted table abutting center stage, where water-downed cocktails and headlining entertainment attended to our pleasures, and when I say that men and women were dressed to the nines in sophisticated suits, ties, and long, flowing gowns that touched the toes of our dyed-to-match heels—I kid you not!
Twenty years later, Vegas felt more sleazy than we could believe, causing Will and me—by now a mother of three teens—to grimace with distaste upon spying toddlers, sprawled fast asleep in strollers, inhaling stale, smoke-soaked air at midnight while their parents, in jeans and flip flops, trolled gaming tables, hoping to strike it rich before the sun dawned on the strip, which had appeared to grow more and more tawdry to my frame of mind, over time. Ugh! I'd think, where is my magic wand? Had I packed it, it would wave over the minds of these parents, who are in need of whisking their families off to a wholesome, kid-friendly place like Disneyland, for Pete's sake! And as I couldn't create change for the better on the spot, I remember frustration on the rise as in: Get me out-a-here-quick! As to Will, he couldn't abide the fact that the elegance of intimate supper clubs had ballooned into giant auditoriums, where exorbitantly priced tickets saw us climbing up to our seats in the nosebleed section. Humph! He'd growl, I can barely make out the stage. The performers look like ants! I'd enjoy this show so much more at home on TV! And as he was right, I'd have to agree.
Over the years, laws were passed against parents trolling tables with exhausted kids on their hips, and though I, too, miss the intimate nature of head-lining entertainment in supper clubs, and though Will and I value every buck we've ever earned, which is why we get no kicks from watching money, transformed into chips, disappearing into thin air, somehow, my adventurous thrill has been resuscitated whenever one of Will's professional meetings lands us in Vegas, and if you asked why that's true, I'd surmise: My critical eye—which has learned to accept the rolling nature of modifications that are perpetually in a state of flux as change moves forward—has mellowed to the point of focusing all of my energy on relaxing poolside, enjoying dear friends, sumptuous dinners and spectacular entertainment, while Will's attitude remains mired in longing for that which has passed, suggesting why he's not yet banished his angst.
Whereas I look forward to relaxing afternoons with a refreshing, ice colddiet coke, whiskey sour, calorie-packed margarita, lean and spicy Bloody Mary in hand while basking within the gorgeous, well-tended, garden-like, tropical paradise, surrounding crystal clear pools, where I, wearing a wide brimmed hat, slather on sunscreen before languishing in bubbling hot tubs before returning to my high rise room with a view, where, after snacking on a healthy assortment of nuts, washed down with agua, this princess indulges in a late afternoon nap before rising and grooming to meet dear friends—with whom we've kept in touch since Will's surgical residency days—Will holds stubbornly to his grudge against change, rebelling against that which is missing rather than rejoicing over that which we can afford to enjoy now that our kids are grown and, much to our amazement, our golden years are upon us, so ... in hopes of inspiring 'my date' to drop his angst at least enough to turn his glum frown upside down, I ask him to call me Snow White.
When a very surprised Will asks: Why? I reply: Because I plan to accept a date with Doc or Happy, tonight ... Not Grumpy!! Quickly, Will quips back with a twinkle in his eye: Snow loved Grumpy, too. Yes, I agree, but tonight, Grumpy's in timeout, and if Doc hopes to end this night with a bang, he'd be wise to find his Happy face, toute suite! (Though the brothers' Grimm version of Snow White is rated G, that's not true of mine—and deciding to do my best to change His Grumpiness into His Horniness, well, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas— ✈️capisce?)
As my upbeat nature proves more contagious than Will's grumpiness, my spirit lifts his, and in addition to thoroughly enjoying an awesome show at the Wynn (Le Reve), the princess and prince enjoy several dinner engagements with an assortment of old friends, and though negative thoughts of changes in Vegas are no longer empowered to turn my smile upside down, Doc's bah-humbug frown re-appears, now and then, when reason arises to compare yesteryear with right now.
Very little time for writing over this past weekend. Why not? From Wednesday through Saturday, Will and I enjoyed ourselves at an international Ortho convention in Vegas. And having benefited from convention rates, we stayed at the Wynn, which is one of the most whimsically decorated hotels I've ever seen. With every stroll taken through the Wynn, my spirit soars as light heartedly as if I'm the heroine, who will inevitably enjoy a happy ending as the last moments of an animated Disney film wind down. Well actually, if detailed accuracy is key to communicating with attention to clarity, I had a great time in Vegas, Will not so much. Why not? Because he'd packed an old mindset that we'd once shared until I shed the old for a new frame of mind which has become my very own.
Let me fill you in on changes in Vegas that changed our minds about Vegas, over close to fifty years:
Our first trip to Vegas, which proved personal rather than professional in nature, took place in the summer of 1968. Upon walking into the lobby of the Sahara Hotel, we, being a couple of Midwesterners, were stunned by the onslaught of lights amid the din of ding-ding-dings of countless one armed bandits, and, later, as we drove down the strip on our very first evening in Nevada's gambling Mecca, we found ourselves memorized by the magical barrage of technicolored, neon lights, flashing on and off, beneath a darkened sky so clear of urban soot and grime as to have mirrored the sense of star-studded wonderment shining forth from our eyes. (As much as we continue to be a deeply devoted pair, my adventures into self awareness has offered me reason grow to be a highly individuated I.)
So, anyway, back in 1968, Will and I were in a crowded, high rise elevator, zooming up to our room after our first day of sunning around the desert pool where the sweltering temperature had climbed to heights beyond 105 degrees when I fainted dead away. OMG! exclaimed bystanders, peering down at that which appeared to be my lifeless form, lying on the floor, while all, who were crammed inside the small square metal box, which continued to be conveyed up, up, up, heard one voice call out—Someone call a doctor! Will, kneeling over me, looked up at many pairs of frightened eyes, belonging to this group of strangers, who, like us, had spent the afternoon sunning, shopping or gambling, and calmly, reassuringly said: No worries. She'll be fine. Then, upon reaching our floor, Prince Charming roused the sleeping princess, gently, before leading her out of the open door, where a very woozy me managed to sway toward our room, and after laying the young princess tenderly on our bed, the prince offered me water while suggesting that I rest. Actually, had this man of few words spared a few more, Will could have relaxed the concern of every observer 100% by saying: I am a doctor, and my wife is newly pregnant with our first child ...
Faint or not, we fell in love with the glamor, which cloaked the underbelly of Vegas, during the sixties, when sundown saw temperatures drop while couples, awakening from sun kissed naps, readied their sunburnt selves (never having heard of skin cancer or sunscreen) to saunter through the casinos, bedecked in finery, as we made our way toward the elegance of velveted booths in supper clubs, where palms were greased in order to command a coveted table abutting center stage, where water-downed cocktails and headlining entertainment attended to our pleasures, and when I say that men and women were dressed to the nines in sophisticated suits, ties, and long, flowing gowns that touched the toes of our dyed-to-match heels—I kid you not!
Twenty years later, Vegas felt more sleazy than we could believe, causing Will and me—by now a mother of three teens—to grimace with distaste upon spying toddlers, sprawled fast asleep in strollers, inhaling stale, smoke-soaked air at midnight while their parents, in jeans and flip flops, trolled gaming tables, hoping to strike it rich before the sun dawned on the strip, which had appeared to grow more and more tawdry to my frame of mind, over time. Ugh! I'd think, where is my magic wand? Had I packed it, it would wave over the minds of these parents, who are in need of whisking their families off to a wholesome, kid-friendly place like Disneyland, for Pete's sake! And as I couldn't create change for the better on the spot, I remember frustration on the rise as in: Get me out-a-here-quick! As to Will, he couldn't abide the fact that the elegance of intimate supper clubs had ballooned into giant auditoriums, where exorbitantly priced tickets saw us climbing up to our seats in the nosebleed section. Humph! He'd growl, I can barely make out the stage. The performers look like ants! I'd enjoy this show so much more at home on TV! And as he was right, I'd have to agree.
Over the years, laws were passed against parents trolling tables with exhausted kids on their hips, and though I, too, miss the intimate nature of head-lining entertainment in supper clubs, and though Will and I value every buck we've ever earned, which is why we get no kicks from watching money, transformed into chips, disappearing into thin air, somehow, my adventurous thrill has been resuscitated whenever one of Will's professional meetings lands us in Vegas, and if you asked why that's true, I'd surmise: My critical eye—which has learned to accept the rolling nature of modifications that are perpetually in a state of flux as change moves forward—has mellowed to the point of focusing all of my energy on relaxing poolside, enjoying dear friends, sumptuous dinners and spectacular entertainment, while Will's attitude remains mired in longing for that which has passed, suggesting why he's not yet banished his angst.
Whereas I look forward to relaxing afternoons with a refreshing, ice cold
When a very surprised Will asks: Why? I reply: Because I plan to accept a date with Doc or Happy, tonight ... Not Grumpy!! Quickly, Will quips back with a twinkle in his eye: Snow loved Grumpy, too. Yes, I agree, but tonight, Grumpy's in timeout, and if Doc hopes to end this night with a bang, he'd be wise to find his Happy face, toute suite! (Though the brothers' Grimm version of Snow White is rated G, that's not true of mine—and deciding to do my best to change His Grumpiness into His Horniness, well, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas— ✈️capisce?)
As my upbeat nature proves more contagious than Will's grumpiness, my spirit lifts his, and in addition to thoroughly enjoying an awesome show at the Wynn (Le Reve), the princess and prince enjoy several dinner engagements with an assortment of old friends, and though negative thoughts of changes in Vegas are no longer empowered to turn my smile upside down, Doc's bah-humbug frown re-appears, now and then, when reason arises to compare yesteryear with right now.
Though Doc's grumpy attitude had once had the power to bend my smile out of shape, this is one princess bride who has learned to make beautiful music by creating a harmonic blend of humor with clarity, and thus does Snow remind the guy, who squires her around town, that as long as Grumpy is a no show much more often than not, Snow feels eager to invite Doc in for a night cap—then as she dims the lights, which does much to lower my age, we reach the happy ending of today's true story.
Though we've flown home, feeling utterly relaxed, reality suggests that that unresolved problem, which will take time to tame and is not mine to name, is still in need of addressing—and in addition to that, I hope my think tank will feel ready to summarize the three hour brainstorming session that connected the minds of Dino's twins with mine when next we meet ...
Wishing you a five star Sunday!
Your friend, Snow—uhhh, I mean—Annie
Though we've flown home, feeling utterly relaxed, reality suggests that that unresolved problem, which will take time to tame and is not mine to name, is still in need of addressing—and in addition to that, I hope my think tank will feel ready to summarize the three hour brainstorming session that connected the minds of Dino's twins with mine when next we meet ...
Wishing you a five star Sunday!
Your friend, Snow—uhhh, I mean—Annie
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Friday, March 27, 2015
1286 SEEKING INSIGHT INTO YOUR DECISION-MAKING PROCESS? SLEEP ON IT ...
2015
How can I tell when my heightened degree of optimism ascends into the realm of denial?
Since my primary focus, while writing this blog, concerns gaining insight into healthy brain functionality in hopes of guiding your sense of clarity to deepen along with mine, I'd like to quote an article that explains the importance of getting enough sleep ...
(BTW, it's my habit to read Reader Digest in the wee hours when my mind feels too restless to remain peacefully asleep :)
This article was written by Beth Weinhouse in Readers Digest, March 2015, and I'm choosing to remark upon this article because depression manifests for some in sleepiness while manifesting in others as nights filled with mental restlessness ...
"Sleep deprivation now rivals obesity and smoking as our greatest public health crises ... According to the National Sleep Foundation, everyone, with few exceptions, needs seven to nine hours of sleep a night in order for the body and mind to function optimally ... but more than a third of adults report less than seven hours of sleep in a typical 24 hour period ... In our world, sleep has been seen as the enemy of capitalism, says James Maas, PhD, former chair of the psychology department at Cornell University and author of SLEEP FOR SUCCESS ... Christopher Barnes, PhD, an expert on sleep and fatigue at the University of Washington, says: 'When you're short on sleep, self control declines' ... Russell Sanna, PhD, former executive director of the Division of Sleep Medicine at Harvard Medical School says: 'Sleep deprivation is the new normal, like smoking was in the fifties, when even doctors smoked and it took ... an enormous health campaign to convince people that the habit could be deadly ... You could say that with the invention of the light bulb, daylight, anytime, moved society away from its natural dusk to dawn sleeping patterns ... We've lost boundaries between wake and sleep, work and home ... James Maas says, 'When there's not enough time in the day to get everything done, you cheat on sleep' ... David Dinges, PhD, professor of psychiatry and chief of the sleep and chronobiology lab at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine says: 'our lifestyle is increasingly chronichaotic ... Today's technology is further eroding our natural biological patterns ... Interfering with our biological timing' ... Harvard University and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine are taking steps to sound the alarm ... To spread the word that sleep is the third pillar of health after exercise and nutrition... Dr. Maas used MRI scans to show the difference in brain activity following a (peaceful) night's sleep and an inadequate one ... The tired brain is dim, while the well rested one is lit up like a Christmas tree ... Eric Severson, senior Vice President of global talent solutions for Gap Inc. used to sleep just six hours a night. After seeing Maas's MRI scans, he was convinced that 'Getting more sleep makes you more emotionally, mentally and spiritually resilient ... It links to everything else.' " (including clarity ...)
Sooo ... If you've been feeling too sleepy or restless, suggesting your brain has not been functioning optimally when brainstorming toward clarity proves essential to your decision-making process, your spirit may actually be working overtime to fight off a mild mental depression, suggesting that your defense system is expending more energy than you know to fool your conscious mind into believing that your decisions are based in clarity, when deeper truth suggests that denial of subconscious misery is slowly driving your state of inner conflict to feel borderline crazy ... And once you come to terms with whatever deeper truth is actually eating at your sense of peace, your connection to reality will re-organize so naturally that you'll make sound use of energy to formulate a plan, based in the fact that your decision-making process has changed in ways that prove well balanced, at long last, and balance in all things creates change for the better that proves healthy, all around ...
Just saying ...
How can I tell when my heightened degree of optimism ascends into the realm of denial?
Since my primary focus, while writing this blog, concerns gaining insight into healthy brain functionality in hopes of guiding your sense of clarity to deepen along with mine, I'd like to quote an article that explains the importance of getting enough sleep ...
(BTW, it's my habit to read Reader Digest in the wee hours when my mind feels too restless to remain peacefully asleep :)
This article was written by Beth Weinhouse in Readers Digest, March 2015, and I'm choosing to remark upon this article because depression manifests for some in sleepiness while manifesting in others as nights filled with mental restlessness ...
"Sleep deprivation now rivals obesity and smoking as our greatest public health crises ... According to the National Sleep Foundation, everyone, with few exceptions, needs seven to nine hours of sleep a night in order for the body and mind to function optimally ... but more than a third of adults report less than seven hours of sleep in a typical 24 hour period ... In our world, sleep has been seen as the enemy of capitalism, says James Maas, PhD, former chair of the psychology department at Cornell University and author of SLEEP FOR SUCCESS ... Christopher Barnes, PhD, an expert on sleep and fatigue at the University of Washington, says: 'When you're short on sleep, self control declines' ... Russell Sanna, PhD, former executive director of the Division of Sleep Medicine at Harvard Medical School says: 'Sleep deprivation is the new normal, like smoking was in the fifties, when even doctors smoked and it took ... an enormous health campaign to convince people that the habit could be deadly ... You could say that with the invention of the light bulb, daylight, anytime, moved society away from its natural dusk to dawn sleeping patterns ... We've lost boundaries between wake and sleep, work and home ... James Maas says, 'When there's not enough time in the day to get everything done, you cheat on sleep' ... David Dinges, PhD, professor of psychiatry and chief of the sleep and chronobiology lab at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine says: 'our lifestyle is increasingly chronichaotic ... Today's technology is further eroding our natural biological patterns ... Interfering with our biological timing' ... Harvard University and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine are taking steps to sound the alarm ... To spread the word that sleep is the third pillar of health after exercise and nutrition... Dr. Maas used MRI scans to show the difference in brain activity following a (peaceful) night's sleep and an inadequate one ... The tired brain is dim, while the well rested one is lit up like a Christmas tree ... Eric Severson, senior Vice President of global talent solutions for Gap Inc. used to sleep just six hours a night. After seeing Maas's MRI scans, he was convinced that 'Getting more sleep makes you more emotionally, mentally and spiritually resilient ... It links to everything else.' " (including clarity ...)
Sooo ... If you've been feeling too sleepy or restless, suggesting your brain has not been functioning optimally when brainstorming toward clarity proves essential to your decision-making process, your spirit may actually be working overtime to fight off a mild mental depression, suggesting that your defense system is expending more energy than you know to fool your conscious mind into believing that your decisions are based in clarity, when deeper truth suggests that denial of subconscious misery is slowly driving your state of inner conflict to feel borderline crazy ... And once you come to terms with whatever deeper truth is actually eating at your sense of peace, your connection to reality will re-organize so naturally that you'll make sound use of energy to formulate a plan, based in the fact that your decision-making process has changed in ways that prove well balanced, at long last, and balance in all things creates change for the better that proves healthy, all around ...
Just saying ...
Thursday, March 26, 2015
1285 WELCOME LEBANON ... AS WELL AS WELCOMING NECESSARY CHANGE FOR THE TWINS
2015
As our grass roots movement continues to circle the globe
Let's bid a warm welcome to adult readers in Lebanon, who
Will hopefully choose to lead young minds toward
Resolving conflicts in positively focused ways that lean toward
Innovative, realistic solutions more often than
Had ever proved possible during The History of the World, Part One ...
78 nations and counting :)
2015
Sooo ... Where were we. Oh yes! Back on the ranch, Dino the lad, who is as concerned about brightening that which the future holds for his teen aged brothers as he'd once worried for himself, calls me and leaves a message. Being newly married, this responsible young man (who is now the same age as his father had been, when Dino senior began to style my hair) wants to thank us for the wine goblets that Will and I sent out from Crate and Barrel in celebration of his wedding. After playing phone tag for several days, neither of us gives up, so once we actually connect and our heartfelt conversation has covered this and that, my empathetic young friend, who works with children, clarifies the depth of his concern for his brothers' well being, because he has lived through that which they are fated to experience if change for the better remains in abstancia ...
With all sincerity, I reassure my friend that his concerns will be brought to the attention of his father, who, upon listening intently while cutting my hair, proves as eager to set up a date for the twins to brainstorm with me as was his adult son. And before I offer you a barebones summary of the brainstorming discussion that ensued, extending over three hours time, which truly flew by ... please note that, during the editing process, quite a few details were added to yesterday's post, rounding out the back story, which led Dino the lad and his dad to set up the twins' most recent visit with me, which I have no doubt will prove vital to their well being as each of us moves forward through every stage of life, in the only way we can ... one step at a time into the great unknown, which feels less scary, more adventurous when loving concern, connecting generations, holds hands with insight into listening skills, sharpened by knowledge, concerning denial's effects on the decisions we make ...
PS
As the downtrodden spirits of countless good kids, whom I've yet to meet, came into the world as bright eyed cherubs, who, at a tender age must buck up against chaotic circumstances based in unresolved parental issues—which prove similar to that which has been experienced by this band of brothers, who, like us all, are dependent upon brotherhood thriving amongst adults throughout the world—youth must place their trust in being led by adults, who like me, care enough to encourage our young to make good use of their noodles to voice a universal need for safe haven in which to study so peacefully as to assume responsibility for improving their lives... And thus does each post I pen in earnest implore you to do your part in creating change for the better by answering my plea to connect with this belief: The power of one can move mountains when each of us links up with the powers of many, who work conscientiously to create change for the better with one another, consistently ...
And with thoughts of adults improving the future of the world one child at a time, I hope you'll participate in this grassroots movement, meant to connect generations in well-informed, proactive ways as I weave classic stories together with a philosophy of life, which, over time, may inspire countless adults to encourage family, friends and colleagues to read at least one post, which—flowing freely from the treasure chest of knowledge that has accumulated in my mind over my lifetime—is penned, each day. And as each post that appears on your screen expresses a stream of consciousness, which may stir your think tanks to grow so insight-driven as to compel you to create change for the better in your home, perhaps this little 'old' woman—who loves shoes much less than she loves children—who are desperate for today's leadership to carve responsible paths where youth can emulate character strengths, like humility and compassion, much more often than not. You see, each time I sit down to pen a post, the children of the world are speaking to you through me—I mean, seriously—don't you agree that it's past time for our international soap opera—The History of the World, Part 1, to spin off into a sitcom, already??
As for right now, the noontime sun is shining high in the brilliant blue sky, and my spirit is about to fly off to the patio where my mind will rest while my body exercises with aqua weights in my mini pool.
As our grass roots movement continues to circle the globe
Let's bid a warm welcome to adult readers in Lebanon, who
Will hopefully choose to lead young minds toward
Resolving conflicts in positively focused ways that lean toward
Innovative, realistic solutions more often than
Had ever proved possible during The History of the World, Part One ...
78 nations and counting :)
2015
Sooo ... Where were we. Oh yes! Back on the ranch, Dino the lad, who is as concerned about brightening that which the future holds for his teen aged brothers as he'd once worried for himself, calls me and leaves a message. Being newly married, this responsible young man (who is now the same age as his father had been, when Dino senior began to style my hair) wants to thank us for the wine goblets that Will and I sent out from Crate and Barrel in celebration of his wedding. After playing phone tag for several days, neither of us gives up, so once we actually connect and our heartfelt conversation has covered this and that, my empathetic young friend, who works with children, clarifies the depth of his concern for his brothers' well being, because he has lived through that which they are fated to experience if change for the better remains in abstancia ...
With all sincerity, I reassure my friend that his concerns will be brought to the attention of his father, who, upon listening intently while cutting my hair, proves as eager to set up a date for the twins to brainstorm with me as was his adult son. And before I offer you a barebones summary of the brainstorming discussion that ensued, extending over three hours time, which truly flew by ... please note that, during the editing process, quite a few details were added to yesterday's post, rounding out the back story, which led Dino the lad and his dad to set up the twins' most recent visit with me, which I have no doubt will prove vital to their well being as each of us moves forward through every stage of life, in the only way we can ... one step at a time into the great unknown, which feels less scary, more adventurous when loving concern, connecting generations, holds hands with insight into listening skills, sharpened by knowledge, concerning denial's effects on the decisions we make ...
PS
As the downtrodden spirits of countless good kids, whom I've yet to meet, came into the world as bright eyed cherubs, who, at a tender age must buck up against chaotic circumstances based in unresolved parental issues—which prove similar to that which has been experienced by this band of brothers, who, like us all, are dependent upon brotherhood thriving amongst adults throughout the world—youth must place their trust in being led by adults, who like me, care enough to encourage our young to make good use of their noodles to voice a universal need for safe haven in which to study so peacefully as to assume responsibility for improving their lives... And thus does each post I pen in earnest implore you to do your part in creating change for the better by answering my plea to connect with this belief: The power of one can move mountains when each of us links up with the powers of many, who work conscientiously to create change for the better with one another, consistently ...
And with thoughts of adults improving the future of the world one child at a time, I hope you'll participate in this grassroots movement, meant to connect generations in well-informed, proactive ways as I weave classic stories together with a philosophy of life, which, over time, may inspire countless adults to encourage family, friends and colleagues to read at least one post, which—flowing freely from the treasure chest of knowledge that has accumulated in my mind over my lifetime—is penned, each day. And as each post that appears on your screen expresses a stream of consciousness, which may stir your think tanks to grow so insight-driven as to compel you to create change for the better in your home, perhaps this little 'old' woman—who loves shoes much less than she loves children—who are desperate for today's leadership to carve responsible paths where youth can emulate character strengths, like humility and compassion, much more often than not. You see, each time I sit down to pen a post, the children of the world are speaking to you through me—I mean, seriously—don't you agree that it's past time for our international soap opera—The History of the World, Part 1, to spin off into a sitcom, already??
As for right now, the noontime sun is shining high in the brilliant blue sky, and my spirit is about to fly off to the patio where my mind will rest while my body exercises with aqua weights in my mini pool.
As to additional details, plugged into yesterday's post, it's your choice to review them or not ...
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
1284 BACK STORY PRECEDING BRAINSTORMING WITH TEEN-AGED TWINS
2015
The fog may veil that beautiful view on the horizon, but when it lifts— and it always lifts—you'll see the possibilities that fear, born of self imposed guilt, had obscured.
It doesn't matter how things were done before. When change enters the game, the situation is new and so is the game, Brainstorm solutions to fit this new situation.
Don't quit too easily or too soon. Keep brainstorming.
The lessons of early life are the hardest to unlearn—though you've learned key behaviors to survive and thrive, there is still misinformation from your early years blocking the door where change for the better awaits, so, seek insight into expanding old mind sets and retrain your brain.
Getting to know a new person can feel as exciting as traveling to a new place (inside yourself).
1981
When our second home, the first we'd built from the ground up, was move-in ready, I decided to look for a hair stylist in our new neighborhood. After all, I was teaching, writing and raising a trio of busy young boys, aged 12, 10 and 5, so being super mom, chief cook, bottle washer and chauffeur, I spent so many hours carpooling to three schools as well as running my three, here and there, 365 days a year, that my time behind the wheel was seriously in need of minimizing. Fortunately, I spied a salon in the same strip mall as the Safeway, which was just down the street from our brand new abode.
Dino, who at 25 and single, was the owner of the salon. How did such a young man achieve that feat? He was born into an extended family dynasty of hairdressers of Italian descent. BTW, when I asked for permission to write his story, Dino said sure, as long as I was clear about his being straight. No worries, Dino ... I'll be sure to introduce you to my readers as the Italian stallion you know yourself to be. Anywho, at that time, Dino, who drove a hot car and went for fast women in tight sweaters and short skirts, fell hard for a sultry, curvaceous, eighteen year old chick, who was impressed with his passionate nature, macho swagger and ease spending a buck. Five years later, they were parents of a beautiful, bright-eyed baby boy. Five years after that, Will and I smiled while watching five year old Dino, all decked out in a tux, walking down the aisle as ring bearer at his parents' wedding. Five years later, when young Dino turned ten, he was truly a devoted brother, helping his parents tend to a pair of identical, bright-eyed, twin boys, who being infants, were literally in need of loving attention, 24/7.
By the time Dino, the younger, had grown to be an eighteen year old community college freshman, his parents had split, and though he truly did not want to leave his little brothers, his sanity could no longer abide wine-soaked slurs, flung hurtfully, day in and day out, in utter disrespect of his character traits ... on the other hand, his love for his brothers caused inner conflict that ran deep when he found it nearly impossible to abandon two little boys to grow up in such a hostile environment without the consistency of his protective affection. So, no matter how often Dino raged, within, at hearing himself called a worthless bum, who would amount to nothing, just like his no good, son-of-bitch father (who, may I remind you, moved into his parents' home to ensure that his wife and three sons did not have to move out of theirs), Dino, the younger, would visit with me in hopes of brainstorming how best to role model character traits that would inspire the twins' bright, young brains to absorb their brother's positively focused attitude (rather than their mother's) as their own ... And life went on until the proverbial last straw pushed young Dino's mind to the edge of a cliff, suggesting that he had need to calm his rage and save his sanity by choosing to live with his grandparents along with Dino, the elder, and an unmarried uncle, as well.
You see, rather than renting an apartment, Dino, the dad, had moved in with his elderly parents, so his wife, eldest son and 8 year old twins could live, undisrupted, in their family home. And in case you're curiosity has been aroused, concerning the last straw that drove Dino, the lad, to the brink of despair ... Well ...
Soon after Dino senior ('the no good bum', who'd continued to pay the mortgage as well as whatever his sons might need) moved out of his house, the charade, which fooled no one, began to emerge when 'the boyfriend', who had been introduced as a platonic friend, slid into the guest room where he slept on a blow up bed until three brothers were thought to have fallen asleep, in their bedrooms, upstairs, and as this nightly sham deprived young Dino's mind from dozing off, he lay tensely awake in his bed, seeing red, until feeling sleep deprived, he began to sleep on a friend's living room couch in order to stop his head from exploding or imploding, night after night, and as one change leads to another, the boy friend moved upstairs, usurping ownership over the eighteen year old's empty bed until the twins fell asleep, and he got the all clear.
Though this string of infuriating changes made Dino's blood boil, my young college friend chose to return home, early each morning, to nurture his brothers before driving them to school, after which he attended to his own studies at the college, followed by his part time job, working with kids, who attended a private grammar school. Then the day dawned when Dino, the younger, could not participate in the charade for one more second, so after the 'grown ups' (?) left for work, Dino managed to move his mattress into one of the twin's closet, where none thought to look, and that's where it remained hidden until he borrowed a truck to transport his mattress to the apartment of his friend when he knew that the 'grown ups'(?) would not be around.
And life went on until such time as young Dino, feeling hopeless, helpless, homeless could not get his brain to untense enough to focus on absorbing his studies, and as his angst climbed to new heights of anxiety, driven by repressed fury, as never before, he and I brainstormed with his father, who, upon listening to the desperation of his eldest son's plight, which had driven young Dino, the no good bum, who would amount to nothing, just like his piece of sh-t father (who, though no angel, has consistently proved as far from a dead beat dad as a working man, devoted to his sons, could possibly be) offered Dino, the elder, insight into the fact that the sanity of this fine young man was hanging at the very end of his rope by a thread. At that point, Dino, the younger, saved himself from insanity by moving in with his grandparents, who, God love them, took in everyone, one by one.
As the removal of the mattress had served as the very last straw, causing open warfare to erupt between mother and eldest son, the charade came undone when 'platonic' boyfriend began to sleep openly with Mom in elder Dino's king sized bed, and life went on as it is wont to do ... until a bank foreclosure repossessed the house, as had become commonplace when the economy tanked, at which time the 'family' had to move; and By the time their parents' divorce became final, the cutest twins, ever, had continued to grow until they, like their older brother, left childhood behind, and by the time the pair turned thirteen, the same wine soaked insults (which had caused Dino, the lad, to save the last shreds of his sanity by seeking safe haven, elsewhere), slammed head first into the twins' self esteem, day in and day out, until two pairs of sparkling brown eyes grew dull as mud, and as the repetitive refrain of their homelife felt so emotionally chaotic as to close in on crazy, again, the resilience of two youthful spirits drooped until, notch by notch, good grades dropped till notches added up to that which was seen as a whole lot of failure heaped upon the heads of two utterly confounded, stressed to the max, deeply depressed teen-aged brains. And since insanity (which their mother had experienced as a child) is defined as repeating the same mistakes while expecting a different result, let's back up a few years in order to shine the light of insight upon an earlier time in our story, when the twins were three and ...
Young Dino, a bright lad of thirteen, came to brainstorm with me, along with his mom and dad for the very first time. As personal experience had already offered me insight into how much we'd all benefit from learning about denial's effects on family dysfunction, I felt eager to embrace all three in a brand new capacity that proved much more intimate than going to dinner, breaking open a bottle of wine and enjoying a good time, as we'd done in years past. Though Dino the dad and Dino the lad returned to brainstorm many times, Mom, who, steeped deep in denial, believed herself not in need of help, did not. BTW, all three were made aware of the fact that though I was certified at the community college to teach skillful family communications and crises management, a professionally trained psychologist I most certainly was not.
If you asked what inspired father, son and me to achieve an enduring sense of united teamwork, I'd reply: Over the years, we three worked, consistently, to develop a mutually enriching, respectful sense of positively focused trust, suggesting that no one needed to attain perfection for our love to listen with thoroughness to that which each other had need to say, so when I'd impart information that made sense to father and son, both brains began to operate on a wave length that deepened the bonds of love, friendship and self discipline that proves necessary for any proactive plan to meet with success, and over the long run, in the absence of guilt-ridden defensiveness, we each made such good use of our noodles as to create simple plans of action that concentrated our energy to create simple plans of action that strengthened every clear-minded brain's connection to sanity
Upon turning 16, young Dino (who, at 25, has taken the love of his life, a student soon to graduate with a degree in nursing, as his bride), began to drive to my house on his own. Ever since the twins' relationship with their mom went south, their father or brother has brought them to brainstorm toward clarity with me..
Over these past two years, Dino, the dad, who is now in his fifties, has expressed flabbergasted shock at the fact that Mom's attitude has become as negatively hurtful, actually harmful to the twins' self esteem as had been true of their older brother during his teen-aged years. As kids commnly feel as though they're being driven crazy when a parent can't remember slinging sharply abusive words and actions around once the inebriated tongue awakens and takes refuge in Denial land, day in and dencourage this trio of brothers to hold onto clarity while listening to denial.
When a parent, acts out and then reacts defensively, 24/7, home is not a safe haven in which a child can study in peace. When the young mind is as restlessly stressed as the heart and spirit feel emotionally abandoned and depressed, deeper truth suggests that listening before brainstorming toward change for the better must lift the curtain on the mental fog that numbs the fury, repressed within the twins' subconscious in hopes that their bright, young minds can regain a sense of trust in the fact that an adult, whose hold on objective clarity will free their downtrodden souls of futility, thus offering dark clouds, concerning their future, reason to lighten up rather than watching passively as they worry over negative energy, coiling up, engulfing them until some last straw ignites an explosive reaction as self destructive as a volcanic eruption that regurgitates burning lava all over itself as life grows more unbearable with each passing year ... Been there, seen that while brainstorming with Dino, the lad.
And now that this brief summary, which spans 34 years of my friendship with Dino, the dad, and his trio of beloveds sons, has brought us up to date, please picture two clean-cut teens, walking into my house, eyes glazed over with as much misery as I'd noted to be true of Dino, the lad, who'd saved his spirit from sinking in quicksand by choosing to move in with his dad. As pills have exacerbated the original problem of the parent, whose unquenchable thirst for wine numbs her mind, life, which gets better or worse but does not stay the same, has been barreling straight down hill for the twins , even though Mom and boyfriend have recently tied the knot.
I mean seriously, clarity into deeper truth suggests that change, over these past two years, has done nothing to improve the negatively focused, bullying attitudes, which consistently put two deeply confounded teens down. And now, having zoomed back and forth across the timeline, allowing me to paint a bare bones picture of the twins' back story, you can expect a summary of the solution-seeking, brainstorming session, which served to unlock the door in the emotional wall that prohibited my young friends from clarifying the depth of their despair to their father, whose love for his trio of sons runs as deep as does my love for my own. And since today's train of thought has pulled into the station, we'll resume the next leg of what proves to be the twins' resilient adventure with life, as they've come to know it, when next we meet ...
The fog may veil that beautiful view on the horizon, but when it lifts— and it always lifts—you'll see the possibilities that fear, born of self imposed guilt, had obscured.
It doesn't matter how things were done before. When change enters the game, the situation is new and so is the game, Brainstorm solutions to fit this new situation.
Don't quit too easily or too soon. Keep brainstorming.
Getting to know a new person can feel as exciting as traveling to a new place (inside yourself).
1981
When our second home, the first we'd built from the ground up, was move-in ready, I decided to look for a hair stylist in our new neighborhood. After all, I was teaching, writing and raising a trio of busy young boys, aged 12, 10 and 5, so being super mom, chief cook, bottle washer and chauffeur, I spent so many hours carpooling to three schools as well as running my three, here and there, 365 days a year, that my time behind the wheel was seriously in need of minimizing. Fortunately, I spied a salon in the same strip mall as the Safeway, which was just down the street from our brand new abode.
Dino, who at 25 and single, was the owner of the salon. How did such a young man achieve that feat? He was born into an extended family dynasty of hairdressers of Italian descent. BTW, when I asked for permission to write his story, Dino said sure, as long as I was clear about his being straight. No worries, Dino ... I'll be sure to introduce you to my readers as the Italian stallion you know yourself to be. Anywho, at that time, Dino, who drove a hot car and went for fast women in tight sweaters and short skirts, fell hard for a sultry, curvaceous, eighteen year old chick, who was impressed with his passionate nature, macho swagger and ease spending a buck. Five years later, they were parents of a beautiful, bright-eyed baby boy. Five years after that, Will and I smiled while watching five year old Dino, all decked out in a tux, walking down the aisle as ring bearer at his parents' wedding. Five years later, when young Dino turned ten, he was truly a devoted brother, helping his parents tend to a pair of identical, bright-eyed, twin boys, who being infants, were literally in need of loving attention, 24/7.
By the time Dino, the younger, had grown to be an eighteen year old community college freshman, his parents had split, and though he truly did not want to leave his little brothers, his sanity could no longer abide wine-soaked slurs, flung hurtfully, day in and day out, in utter disrespect of his character traits ... on the other hand, his love for his brothers caused inner conflict that ran deep when he found it nearly impossible to abandon two little boys to grow up in such a hostile environment without the consistency of his protective affection. So, no matter how often Dino raged, within, at hearing himself called a worthless bum, who would amount to nothing, just like his no good, son-of-bitch father (who, may I remind you, moved into his parents' home to ensure that his wife and three sons did not have to move out of theirs), Dino, the younger, would visit with me in hopes of brainstorming how best to role model character traits that would inspire the twins' bright, young brains to absorb their brother's positively focused attitude (rather than their mother's) as their own ... And life went on until the proverbial last straw pushed young Dino's mind to the edge of a cliff, suggesting that he had need to calm his rage and save his sanity by choosing to live with his grandparents along with Dino, the elder, and an unmarried uncle, as well.
You see, rather than renting an apartment, Dino, the dad, had moved in with his elderly parents, so his wife, eldest son and 8 year old twins could live, undisrupted, in their family home. And in case you're curiosity has been aroused, concerning the last straw that drove Dino, the lad, to the brink of despair ... Well ...
Soon after Dino senior ('the no good bum', who'd continued to pay the mortgage as well as whatever his sons might need) moved out of his house, the charade, which fooled no one, began to emerge when 'the boyfriend', who had been introduced as a platonic friend, slid into the guest room where he slept on a blow up bed until three brothers were thought to have fallen asleep, in their bedrooms, upstairs, and as this nightly sham deprived young Dino's mind from dozing off, he lay tensely awake in his bed, seeing red, until feeling sleep deprived, he began to sleep on a friend's living room couch in order to stop his head from exploding or imploding, night after night, and as one change leads to another, the boy friend moved upstairs, usurping ownership over the eighteen year old's empty bed until the twins fell asleep, and he got the all clear.
Though this string of infuriating changes made Dino's blood boil, my young college friend chose to return home, early each morning, to nurture his brothers before driving them to school, after which he attended to his own studies at the college, followed by his part time job, working with kids, who attended a private grammar school. Then the day dawned when Dino, the younger, could not participate in the charade for one more second, so after the 'grown ups' (?) left for work, Dino managed to move his mattress into one of the twin's closet, where none thought to look, and that's where it remained hidden until he borrowed a truck to transport his mattress to the apartment of his friend when he knew that the 'grown ups'(?) would not be around.
And life went on until such time as young Dino, feeling hopeless, helpless, homeless could not get his brain to untense enough to focus on absorbing his studies, and as his angst climbed to new heights of anxiety, driven by repressed fury, as never before, he and I brainstormed with his father, who, upon listening to the desperation of his eldest son's plight, which had driven young Dino, the no good bum, who would amount to nothing, just like his piece of sh-t father (who, though no angel, has consistently proved as far from a dead beat dad as a working man, devoted to his sons, could possibly be) offered Dino, the elder, insight into the fact that the sanity of this fine young man was hanging at the very end of his rope by a thread. At that point, Dino, the younger, saved himself from insanity by moving in with his grandparents, who, God love them, took in everyone, one by one.
As the removal of the mattress had served as the very last straw, causing open warfare to erupt between mother and eldest son, the charade came undone when 'platonic' boyfriend began to sleep openly with Mom in elder Dino's king sized bed, and life went on as it is wont to do ... until a bank foreclosure repossessed the house, as had become commonplace when the economy tanked, at which time the 'family' had to move; and By the time their parents' divorce became final, the cutest twins, ever, had continued to grow until they, like their older brother, left childhood behind, and by the time the pair turned thirteen, the same wine soaked insults (which had caused Dino, the lad, to save the last shreds of his sanity by seeking safe haven, elsewhere), slammed head first into the twins' self esteem, day in and day out, until two pairs of sparkling brown eyes grew dull as mud, and as the repetitive refrain of their homelife felt so emotionally chaotic as to close in on crazy, again, the resilience of two youthful spirits drooped until, notch by notch, good grades dropped till notches added up to that which was seen as a whole lot of failure heaped upon the heads of two utterly confounded, stressed to the max, deeply depressed teen-aged brains. And since insanity (which their mother had experienced as a child) is defined as repeating the same mistakes while expecting a different result, let's back up a few years in order to shine the light of insight upon an earlier time in our story, when the twins were three and ...
Young Dino, a bright lad of thirteen, came to brainstorm with me, along with his mom and dad for the very first time. As personal experience had already offered me insight into how much we'd all benefit from learning about denial's effects on family dysfunction, I felt eager to embrace all three in a brand new capacity that proved much more intimate than going to dinner, breaking open a bottle of wine and enjoying a good time, as we'd done in years past. Though Dino the dad and Dino the lad returned to brainstorm many times, Mom, who, steeped deep in denial, believed herself not in need of help, did not. BTW, all three were made aware of the fact that though I was certified at the community college to teach skillful family communications and crises management, a professionally trained psychologist I most certainly was not.
If you asked what inspired father, son and me to achieve an enduring sense of united teamwork, I'd reply: Over the years, we three worked, consistently, to develop a mutually enriching, respectful sense of positively focused trust, suggesting that no one needed to attain perfection for our love to listen with thoroughness to that which each other had need to say, so when I'd impart information that made sense to father and son, both brains began to operate on a wave length that deepened the bonds of love, friendship and self discipline that proves necessary for any proactive plan to meet with success, and over the long run, in the absence of guilt-ridden defensiveness, we each made such good use of our noodles as to create simple plans of action that concentrated our energy to create simple plans of action that strengthened every clear-minded brain's connection to sanity
Upon turning 16, young Dino (who, at 25, has taken the love of his life, a student soon to graduate with a degree in nursing, as his bride), began to drive to my house on his own. Ever since the twins' relationship with their mom went south, their father or brother has brought them to brainstorm toward clarity with me..
Over these past two years, Dino, the dad, who is now in his fifties, has expressed flabbergasted shock at the fact that Mom's attitude has become as negatively hurtful, actually harmful to the twins' self esteem as had been true of their older brother during his teen-aged years. As kids commnly feel as though they're being driven crazy when a parent can't remember slinging sharply abusive words and actions around once the inebriated tongue awakens and takes refuge in Denial land, day in and dencourage this trio of brothers to hold onto clarity while listening to denial.
When a parent, acts out and then reacts defensively, 24/7, home is not a safe haven in which a child can study in peace. When the young mind is as restlessly stressed as the heart and spirit feel emotionally abandoned and depressed, deeper truth suggests that listening before brainstorming toward change for the better must lift the curtain on the mental fog that numbs the fury, repressed within the twins' subconscious in hopes that their bright, young minds can regain a sense of trust in the fact that an adult, whose hold on objective clarity will free their downtrodden souls of futility, thus offering dark clouds, concerning their future, reason to lighten up rather than watching passively as they worry over negative energy, coiling up, engulfing them until some last straw ignites an explosive reaction as self destructive as a volcanic eruption that regurgitates burning lava all over itself as life grows more unbearable with each passing year ... Been there, seen that while brainstorming with Dino, the lad.
And now that this brief summary, which spans 34 years of my friendship with Dino, the dad, and his trio of beloveds sons, has brought us up to date, please picture two clean-cut teens, walking into my house, eyes glazed over with as much misery as I'd noted to be true of Dino, the lad, who'd saved his spirit from sinking in quicksand by choosing to move in with his dad. As pills have exacerbated the original problem of the parent, whose unquenchable thirst for wine numbs her mind, life, which gets better or worse but does not stay the same, has been barreling straight down hill for the twins , even though Mom and boyfriend have recently tied the knot.
I mean seriously, clarity into deeper truth suggests that change, over these past two years, has done nothing to improve the negatively focused, bullying attitudes, which consistently put two deeply confounded teens down. And now, having zoomed back and forth across the timeline, allowing me to paint a bare bones picture of the twins' back story, you can expect a summary of the solution-seeking, brainstorming session, which served to unlock the door in the emotional wall that prohibited my young friends from clarifying the depth of their despair to their father, whose love for his trio of sons runs as deep as does my love for my own. And since today's train of thought has pulled into the station, we'll resume the next leg of what proves to be the twins' resilient adventure with life, as they've come to know it, when next we meet ...
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
1283 EMBRACING THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD, HEARTFULLY, AS MY OWN ...
2015
When people ask what I do, professionally
Here is my reply: I'm a retired communication consultant ... But
Actually, deeper truth suggests that I'm still employed
You see, for the most part, I choose to work for free, and
Here's why that's true:
My brain has amassed far too much valuable knowledge to
Lock this treasure chest up inside my head ...
And if you know me at all, this next insight into
The adult I've chosen to become should come as no surprise:
Mention a problem in passing and watch
The well practiced portion of my brainstorming mind
Turn on as though all on it's own ... Sooo
If you'd like a description of the brainstorming session I shared with the twins
It may be best to start with background information, and
See if the stream of consciousness that ensues
Creates a free-flowing train of thought, which
May offer us insight into
The reasons why, within three hours time
The downtrodden attitudes of a pair of individuated teen-agers
Transformed from depressed, despairing and desperate to
Hopeful, earnest, and eager to team up with
A pair of adults, whose openness to listening, thoroughly
Produced such an emotionally safe environment as to free
Three generations to embrace a one-for-all-all-for-one attitude, which
Focused solely upon the creation of a logical, proactive plan of action, which
Over time, will produce change for the better, step by step, all around ...
PS
Having peered deep inside myself, time and again, I've come to see that the defensive reactions of those who've demonstrated need to put me down made use of denial, which blocked their conscious minds from identifying negatively focused character traits, lurking within themselves . In short, their defense systems focused their minds at flinging displaced anger at me rather than mustering the courage that proves necessary to peel away layers of denial in order to reveal traits in need of shoring up within themselves ... And though this slice of prime information has been mine for quite some time, it's reassuring to remind myself of this fact: In the absence of depth perception, concerning self awareness, our brains remain preprogrammed to project our own vulnerabilities onto others.
Ive also come to understand problem-ownership in depth. For example, when a problem that's not mine remains unresolved, I find it helpful to brainstorm with those who prove so mature as to own up to situations of their own making rather than those who deny all accountability by blaming others for self imposed stress.
Bottom line: I'd rather make good use of my noodle by turning it into a hose that's practiced at sprinkling sunshine, inherent in positive focus, over a soul that feels temporarily dark and cloudy rather than brainstorming with a mind so steeped in denial as to blindly pour salt into the other guy's wounds ...
Just saying ...
And now, on to brainstorming with Dino and the twins ...
When people ask what I do, professionally
Here is my reply: I'm a retired communication consultant ... But
Actually, deeper truth suggests that I'm still employed
You see, for the most part, I choose to work for free, and
Here's why that's true:
My brain has amassed far too much valuable knowledge to
Lock this treasure chest up inside my head ...
And if you know me at all, this next insight into
The adult I've chosen to become should come as no surprise:
Mention a problem in passing and watch
The well practiced portion of my brainstorming mind
Turn on as though all on it's own ... Sooo
If you'd like a description of the brainstorming session I shared with the twins
It may be best to start with background information, and
See if the stream of consciousness that ensues
Creates a free-flowing train of thought, which
May offer us insight into
The reasons why, within three hours time
The downtrodden attitudes of a pair of individuated teen-agers
Transformed from depressed, despairing and desperate to
Hopeful, earnest, and eager to team up with
A pair of adults, whose openness to listening, thoroughly
Produced such an emotionally safe environment as to free
Three generations to embrace a one-for-all-all-for-one attitude, which
Focused solely upon the creation of a logical, proactive plan of action, which
Over time, will produce change for the better, step by step, all around ...
PS
Having peered deep inside myself, time and again, I've come to see that the defensive reactions of those who've demonstrated need to put me down made use of denial, which blocked their conscious minds from identifying negatively focused character traits, lurking within themselves . In short, their defense systems focused their minds at flinging displaced anger at me rather than mustering the courage that proves necessary to peel away layers of denial in order to reveal traits in need of shoring up within themselves ... And though this slice of prime information has been mine for quite some time, it's reassuring to remind myself of this fact: In the absence of depth perception, concerning self awareness, our brains remain preprogrammed to project our own vulnerabilities onto others.
Ive also come to understand problem-ownership in depth. For example, when a problem that's not mine remains unresolved, I find it helpful to brainstorm with those who prove so mature as to own up to situations of their own making rather than those who deny all accountability by blaming others for self imposed stress.
Bottom line: I'd rather make good use of my noodle by turning it into a hose that's practiced at sprinkling sunshine, inherent in positive focus, over a soul that feels temporarily dark and cloudy rather than brainstorming with a mind so steeped in denial as to blindly pour salt into the other guy's wounds ...
Just saying ...
And now, on to brainstorming with Dino and the twins ...
Monday, March 23, 2015
1282 AS THE ON-GOING SAGA OF EACH PERSON'S LIFE GOES FORTH...
2015
Well, if I was tired before the twins came, yesterday
I was thoroughly pooped by the time we offered each other
Sincere smiles and warm hugs while wishing each other well as
We said good-bye (for now) at my front door
Right before they left, I asked:
Sooo ... if you'd known how long we'd feel the need to brainstorm, today
What would you have thought?
We enjoyed a good laugh when the twins replied, almost in unison:
We probably wouldn't have come, at all!
You see, I'd spent an hour, listening to
What the twins had need to say when
My phone rang, and upon answering it, I heard Dino suggest that
He was outside and happy to wait in his car till we were done
While he hung on, I asked the boys if they felt ready to
Openly express the depth of their distress, which
Each had felt free to un-repress with me, with their dad and
As both agreed, we invited Dino to join us—and
Upon hearing them out, the four of us put our heads, together, and
Once we began to brainstorm in hopes of formulating
A positively focused plan of action that would relieve
The depths of the twins despair, it made sense for
Will and David to leave for Steven's with the understanding that
I'd join my family when my three friends and I felt that
Our discussion had pulled into the station, where
The first step of this plan would lead the boys toward
Clearing dark clouds of hostile futility, which fills our minds with
Repressed rage, out of our heads ...
You see, a mind, overflowing with waves of rage at
Being unheard, can't function clearly, and if, as years pass and
Life does not improve, rage, subconsciously repressed, transforms into
Desperation for change, which causes the spirit to become
So depressed as to utterly collapse, and
Since 'it takes one to know one', and since I've
'Been there done that', I 'knew' exactly what to say and which
Questions to ask, and thus did both boys open up to me for this reason:
Their intuition sensed my being on their wave length as soon as
They walked into the emotional safety of my very first hug ... and
By the time Dino joined in, they e twins's relief was so palpable that
We four encountered no walls while solution-seeking as a team
And rather than hanging their heads in shame or
Taking a firy-eyed stance, burning with defiance, we all took part in
Formulating a plan that father and sons had perceived as
Impossible until we'd cleared futility off the table and
Conversed with heads cleansed of confusion until a plan ... which
Had been right in front of us, all along, began to ripen, and
As father and sons are aware of the fact that this plan of action
Will take time, patience, teamwork and diplomacy to implement
Dino, who absorbed the depth of his sons' distress
Demonstrated his love, understanding and
Newfound respect for his sons so fully as to
Open his mind to a train of thought, which
Offered his sons hope that change for the better would
Truly take place, over the long run, and
As I quietly guided three open minds to
Listen to each other's personal needs thoroughly before
Responding to each other's personal concerns, openly, our
Combined trains of thought merged into
One train of thought that pulled into the station
Two hours later than originally planned ...
As to summarizing our lengthy discussion, which
Culminated in teamwork's creation of
A proactive plan of action, which will be implemented in a
Logical, step by step fashion that will change the status quo in
Such a way as to nurture the twins' hearts with love while
Nourishing their spirits with this hope: Upon feeling heard
Change for the better is actually in the works, and
By the conclusion of our brainstorming discussion, I
Watched two downtrodden spirits, eyes dulled by futility
Ignite with the bright light of hope in a matter of three hours, which
We all agreed had flown by—and if the summary of our discussion
Proves of interest to you, I'll attend to that in tomorrow's post, because
Right now, it's time to ready myself to
Drive my youngest son, David, to the airport, where
He'll fly to the coast where the next leg of his destiny awaits to
Welcome his mind, heart and spirit home—
And thus does the surprising saga of each person's life go forth ...
Well, if I was tired before the twins came, yesterday
I was thoroughly pooped by the time we offered each other
Sincere smiles and warm hugs while wishing each other well as
We said good-bye (for now) at my front door
Right before they left, I asked:
Sooo ... if you'd known how long we'd feel the need to brainstorm, today
What would you have thought?
We enjoyed a good laugh when the twins replied, almost in unison:
We probably wouldn't have come, at all!
You see, I'd spent an hour, listening to
What the twins had need to say when
My phone rang, and upon answering it, I heard Dino suggest that
He was outside and happy to wait in his car till we were done
While he hung on, I asked the boys if they felt ready to
Openly express the depth of their distress, which
Each had felt free to un-repress with me, with their dad and
As both agreed, we invited Dino to join us—and
Upon hearing them out, the four of us put our heads, together, and
Once we began to brainstorm in hopes of formulating
A positively focused plan of action that would relieve
The depths of the twins despair, it made sense for
Will and David to leave for Steven's with the understanding that
I'd join my family when my three friends and I felt that
Our discussion had pulled into the station, where
The first step of this plan would lead the boys toward
Clearing dark clouds of hostile futility, which fills our minds with
Repressed rage, out of our heads ...
You see, a mind, overflowing with waves of rage at
Being unheard, can't function clearly, and if, as years pass and
Life does not improve, rage, subconsciously repressed, transforms into
Desperation for change, which causes the spirit to become
So depressed as to utterly collapse, and
Since 'it takes one to know one', and since I've
'Been there done that', I 'knew' exactly what to say and which
Questions to ask, and thus did both boys open up to me for this reason:
Their intuition sensed my being on their wave length as soon as
They walked into the emotional safety of my very first hug ... and
By the time Dino joined in, they e twins's relief was so palpable that
We four encountered no walls while solution-seeking as a team
And rather than hanging their heads in shame or
Taking a firy-eyed stance, burning with defiance, we all took part in
Formulating a plan that father and sons had perceived as
Impossible until we'd cleared futility off the table and
Conversed with heads cleansed of confusion until a plan ... which
Had been right in front of us, all along, began to ripen, and
As father and sons are aware of the fact that this plan of action
Will take time, patience, teamwork and diplomacy to implement
Dino, who absorbed the depth of his sons' distress
Demonstrated his love, understanding and
Newfound respect for his sons so fully as to
Open his mind to a train of thought, which
Offered his sons hope that change for the better would
Truly take place, over the long run, and
As I quietly guided three open minds to
Listen to each other's personal needs thoroughly before
Responding to each other's personal concerns, openly, our
Combined trains of thought merged into
One train of thought that pulled into the station
Two hours later than originally planned ...
As to summarizing our lengthy discussion, which
Culminated in teamwork's creation of
A proactive plan of action, which will be implemented in a
Logical, step by step fashion that will change the status quo in
Such a way as to nurture the twins' hearts with love while
Nourishing their spirits with this hope: Upon feeling heard
Change for the better is actually in the works, and
By the conclusion of our brainstorming discussion, I
Watched two downtrodden spirits, eyes dulled by futility
Ignite with the bright light of hope in a matter of three hours, which
We all agreed had flown by—and if the summary of our discussion
Proves of interest to you, I'll attend to that in tomorrow's post, because
Right now, it's time to ready myself to
Drive my youngest son, David, to the airport, where
He'll fly to the coast where the next leg of his destiny awaits to
Welcome his mind, heart and spirit home—
And thus does the surprising saga of each person's life go forth ...
Sunday, March 22, 2015
1281. INJECTING POSITIVE FOCUS, NARURALLY, HERE, THERE, EVERYWHERE
2015
Yesterday, Will and I returned home from Ravi's party, which
Was held in celebration of her delightful presence, which
Enriches our lives, immeasurably, at 9PM
David returns to the coast, tomorrow afternoon
This morning, my dear friend, Dino, who has
Styled my hair for over thirty years, is coming over with
His twin teen-age sons, who landed in trouble in school—
Ever since his divorce, several years ago, Dino has asked me to
Listen to whatever his sons feel need to say at those times
When they feel unable to open up at home) in hopes of
My playing an instrumental role in encouraging their spirits to
Direct their minds away from the path that lead too many of
Our deeply confounded and angry youth toward self destruction
As for me ... I look forward to embracing their young hearts while
Doing my best to inspire them to choose their friends wisely ...
As days spent enjoying our Seattle friends rolled straight into
Our flight to the coast, where we enjoyed the weekend with Barry, et al, before
Flying back to the desert on Monday, where, upon landing, we celebrated
A birthday dinner with our Seattle friends, who
Flew home on Tuesday, right before
David flew in that afternoon, which was reason for our family to gather at
Our home to delight in Ravi's adorable presence, that evening, and then
Our whirlwind adventure with loved ones extended over
Ten hours on Wednesday and the same on Thursday, because
It's not every day that our grand daughter's adoring uncle flies in, so
Celina or Steven dropped Ravi off at our house, each morning, which
Allowed one to go to the office while the other accomplished errands in readiness
For Ravi's 'coming out' party on Saturday ... sooo, you can understand
That with so much occupying my mind, I forgot a pre-op appointment
With my internist on Friday afternoon before
Saturday morning rolled around, when Steven dropped Ravi off while
He and Celina readied their house to welcome 60 guests in honor of
Our sweet-natured munchkin's birth ... and as that summary pretty much
Caps the whirlwind adventures we've enjoyed with loved ones over
TYhese past two weeks, I'm sure you can see why I'm planning to chill as
Soon as my friend, Dino and his sons leave my house to face
Whatever consequences await the twins on Monday, at school
And though there's no doubt that
My heart and spirit feel enriched beyond measure
My mind and body feel the need for down time and
With that thought in mind and in readiness to greet
Dino and my young friends, the twins with the sincerity of my smile
I'll end today's post by quoting two texts, the first of which
I sent to a dear friend of Barry's on the coast, who
Is recovering from a serious automobile accident, and
The second being her appreciative reply:
I'm still smiling, thinking of our wonderful afternoon! We had such fun with everyone, and playing with all of the little ones was the best! ... They're adorable! We were glad to see you on the mend ... Your decision to come and join in the fun at this early stage of your recovery is a testament to your inner strength in the aftermath of three surgeries, due to the severity of your injuries. We love you, and hope we can enjoy another afternoon, filled with smiles and laughter when we return in August!
Feel our warmest hugs as you make your way to wellness, step by step, day by day ...
:) Annie
Hi Annie! It was so good to see you and Will! I had so much fun that day with everyone (boys, babies, and all!) I love you guys and very much want to see you when you come back! Thank you for the encouraging words! I will definitely keep them in mind as I continue on this journey to recovery! Your positive thoughts inspire me! I love you lots!!! :) xoxo
Regardless of what we're each recovering from
I plan to inject the minds of the twins with this train of thought:
Positive focus is key to adventuring forward, one day at a time, as
The great unknown beckons to one and all, throughout
Each stage of life, no matter our age, gender, nationality, or race, and
With that said, it's time to ready myself to
Embrace the twins, offer them a tasty snack and
Open my mind to listen to today's youthful perception of
Whatever has caused the depths of their distress to surface in hopes of
Encouraging two young minds to turn a corner where
Each will grow more aware of how to take better care of
Themselves and each other as life unfolds—then
In the aftermath of coaching two young spirits to
Muster the courage and positive focus to
Face consequences deemed necessary by the status quo
I plan to send the twins into the next leg of their adventure into
The great unknown with two warm smiles and
Two encouraging hugs, and upon attending to my life
I'll follow my own advice and chill for the 'rest' of the day
PS
Did I mention that the unnamed problem, referenced in
Previous posts, remains unresolved?
That though this problem is not of my making nor
Mine to solve on my own, it's a no brainer that
Brainstorming with our positively focused sense of
Teamwork intact serves as a factor when considering why
Each person in our family achieves success, so often, especially when
The chips are down, and solution seeking, which proves necessary
Takes time, patience and self control?
And if you think to ask why positive focus is so integral to
Our success rate, I'd reply:
In the absence of positively focused teamwork
Problem solving proves to be an energy drainer ...
And knowing that to be true, I'll do my best to inoculate Dino's family against
Being infected by any negatively focused mindset no matter
How harsh the consequences, meted out by the powers that be, prove to be—
You see, I've known this pair of identical twins since their birth, and
theirs no doubt in my mind that their character traits, which prove to be
As individuated as night and day, are seeking to follow a leader, whose
Guidance can help them to carve a path by which each of us learns
How best to direct our minds to remain focused on the positive, most especially
When the chips are down
And with that said, guess who just called?
A very happy but tired Steven ...
I mean, it's March Madness and
My men are all mad for basketball, sooo
After I do my best to inject the spirit of positive focus
Within the distressed minds of my young friends, the twins
Will, David and I are headed to Celina's and Steven's where
Lunch will be savory Bar B Q'd brats while
Basketballs dribble back and forth across
The large screened TV, from morning to night
After all, it's not every day that Steven's brother is in town, sooo
Though I'm not mad for college sports, it's true that
Ravi's precious smile awaits to welcome
Her doting Gramma into the depths of her sweet natured heart ...
Suggesting my chilling at Steven's, surrounded by love ...
Yesterday, Will and I returned home from Ravi's party, which
Was held in celebration of her delightful presence, which
Enriches our lives, immeasurably, at 9PM
David returns to the coast, tomorrow afternoon
This morning, my dear friend, Dino, who has
Styled my hair for over thirty years, is coming over with
His twin teen-age sons, who landed in trouble in school—
Ever since his divorce, several years ago, Dino has asked me to
Listen to whatever his sons feel need to say at those times
When they feel unable to open up at home) in hopes of
My playing an instrumental role in encouraging their spirits to
Direct their minds away from the path that lead too many of
Our deeply confounded and angry youth toward self destruction
As for me ... I look forward to embracing their young hearts while
Doing my best to inspire them to choose their friends wisely ...
As days spent enjoying our Seattle friends rolled straight into
Our flight to the coast, where we enjoyed the weekend with Barry, et al, before
Flying back to the desert on Monday, where, upon landing, we celebrated
A birthday dinner with our Seattle friends, who
Flew home on Tuesday, right before
David flew in that afternoon, which was reason for our family to gather at
Our home to delight in Ravi's adorable presence, that evening, and then
Our whirlwind adventure with loved ones extended over
Ten hours on Wednesday and the same on Thursday, because
It's not every day that our grand daughter's adoring uncle flies in, so
Celina or Steven dropped Ravi off at our house, each morning, which
Allowed one to go to the office while the other accomplished errands in readiness
For Ravi's 'coming out' party on Saturday ... sooo, you can understand
That with so much occupying my mind, I forgot a pre-op appointment
With my internist on Friday afternoon before
Saturday morning rolled around, when Steven dropped Ravi off while
He and Celina readied their house to welcome 60 guests in honor of
Our sweet-natured munchkin's birth ... and as that summary pretty much
Caps the whirlwind adventures we've enjoyed with loved ones over
TYhese past two weeks, I'm sure you can see why I'm planning to chill as
Soon as my friend, Dino and his sons leave my house to face
Whatever consequences await the twins on Monday, at school
And though there's no doubt that
My heart and spirit feel enriched beyond measure
My mind and body feel the need for down time and
With that thought in mind and in readiness to greet
Dino and my young friends, the twins with the sincerity of my smile
I'll end today's post by quoting two texts, the first of which
I sent to a dear friend of Barry's on the coast, who
Is recovering from a serious automobile accident, and
The second being her appreciative reply:
I'm still smiling, thinking of our wonderful afternoon! We had such fun with everyone, and playing with all of the little ones was the best! ... They're adorable! We were glad to see you on the mend ... Your decision to come and join in the fun at this early stage of your recovery is a testament to your inner strength in the aftermath of three surgeries, due to the severity of your injuries. We love you, and hope we can enjoy another afternoon, filled with smiles and laughter when we return in August!
Feel our warmest hugs as you make your way to wellness, step by step, day by day ...
:) Annie
Hi Annie! It was so good to see you and Will! I had so much fun that day with everyone (boys, babies, and all!) I love you guys and very much want to see you when you come back! Thank you for the encouraging words! I will definitely keep them in mind as I continue on this journey to recovery! Your positive thoughts inspire me! I love you lots!!! :) xoxo
Regardless of what we're each recovering from
I plan to inject the minds of the twins with this train of thought:
Positive focus is key to adventuring forward, one day at a time, as
The great unknown beckons to one and all, throughout
Each stage of life, no matter our age, gender, nationality, or race, and
With that said, it's time to ready myself to
Embrace the twins, offer them a tasty snack and
Open my mind to listen to today's youthful perception of
Whatever has caused the depths of their distress to surface in hopes of
Encouraging two young minds to turn a corner where
Each will grow more aware of how to take better care of
Themselves and each other as life unfolds—then
In the aftermath of coaching two young spirits to
Muster the courage and positive focus to
Face consequences deemed necessary by the status quo
I plan to send the twins into the next leg of their adventure into
The great unknown with two warm smiles and
Two encouraging hugs, and upon attending to my life
I'll follow my own advice and chill for the 'rest' of the day
PS
Did I mention that the unnamed problem, referenced in
Previous posts, remains unresolved?
That though this problem is not of my making nor
Mine to solve on my own, it's a no brainer that
Brainstorming with our positively focused sense of
Teamwork intact serves as a factor when considering why
Each person in our family achieves success, so often, especially when
The chips are down, and solution seeking, which proves necessary
Takes time, patience and self control?
And if you think to ask why positive focus is so integral to
Our success rate, I'd reply:
In the absence of positively focused teamwork
Problem solving proves to be an energy drainer ...
And knowing that to be true, I'll do my best to inoculate Dino's family against
Being infected by any negatively focused mindset no matter
How harsh the consequences, meted out by the powers that be, prove to be—
You see, I've known this pair of identical twins since their birth, and
theirs no doubt in my mind that their character traits, which prove to be
As individuated as night and day, are seeking to follow a leader, whose
Guidance can help them to carve a path by which each of us learns
How best to direct our minds to remain focused on the positive, most especially
When the chips are down
And with that said, guess who just called?
A very happy but tired Steven ...
I mean, it's March Madness and
My men are all mad for basketball, sooo
After I do my best to inject the spirit of positive focus
Within the distressed minds of my young friends, the twins
Will, David and I are headed to Celina's and Steven's where
Lunch will be savory Bar B Q'd brats while
Basketballs dribble back and forth across
The large screened TV, from morning to night
After all, it's not every day that Steven's brother is in town, sooo
Though I'm not mad for college sports, it's true that
Ravi's precious smile awaits to welcome
Her doting Gramma into the depths of her sweet natured heart ...
Suggesting my chilling at Steven's, surrounded by love ...
Saturday, March 21, 2015
1280 UNRESOLVED PROBLEMS CAN CO-EXIST WITH FIVE STAR DAYS
2015
Today is Ravi's coming out party in that
About sixty friends and family, who live nearby
Are congregating in celebration of
Her birth at a pool party hosted
By Celina and Steven, early this afternoon, and
As our host and hostess hope to finish up
Last minute touches, uninterrupted, Steven plans to
Stop by, this morning, to pleasure us with
Ravi's presence, which delights Will, David and me to no end
And as our sweet natured, bundle of joy (who
Has begun to laugh aloud at the silly-willy antics of
Every adult who finds it so easy to love her) is
Due to arrive at 9AM ... I'd be wise to get some shut eye, because
Presently, the clock says 4:41AM, and as I'm yawning
It seems best to pull this post, brief as it may be, into
The station in hopes of my falling back to sleep ... And
If you ask what made me awaken so early, I'd reply:
It's not unusual for tumultuous unrest, taking place
Inside my subconscious, to communicate with
My conscious mind in the still of the night, compelling me to
Awaken, pick up my iPad and process through
A wave of anxiety by penning thoughts, shaped by tension, which
Has been coiling up, unconsciously, ever since
The phone rang, three days ago, informing me that
The winds of fate have, once again
Swept in from out of the blue, causing unexpected change to
Frighten a loved one's sense of safety, and when a loved one
Feels threatened, so do I until insight sparks, shining
Its spotlight specifically upon that which I fear, concerning
The uncertain nature of the next leg of a loved one's journey into
The great unknown, and knowing that writing, upon awakening
Inspires the anxious state of my subconscious to
Release tension, which has been
Coiling up deep within my brain, over these past two days
My present train of thought has calmed
This present wave of anxiety at least enough to
Unstress, relax and rebalance my conscious mind, at least for now ...
So ... if you'd like to consider new insights, which
Popped out of my mind, concerning the need for
Brainstorming during troubling times when
Solution-seeking teamwork provides creative plans of action
Those additional insights can be found
In the newly edited version of yesterday's post, which
I chose to review in the wee hours of the morning, right before
My mind penned the brevity of this post, today ...
And as another yawn inspires me to believe
My anxious state of mind has relaxed enough to
Fall back to sleep, I'll hope that upon reawakening
In time to ready myself to enjoy lots of fun with Ravi
All of my loved ones will have reason to enjoy another
Clear-minded, sunny, five star day, though
This most current problem remains, as yet, unresolved ...
In fact, I can't think of a better time than, right now, for
Our family to feel surrounded by those, whose love and
Respect sustain us when fate swoops one of us up into
A whirlwind of an unexpected problem that inspires
Each of us to maintain our well-practiced
Strong sense of self control in order that teamwork can
Make sound use of our noodles at times when
Fear causes undisciplined minds to fly off the handle and
Lose control over the parts of their brains where the blendship of
Creative and critical thought-processing is stored ...
And with yawn number three, I'll bid you good night as well as
Good day ...
Today is Ravi's coming out party in that
About sixty friends and family, who live nearby
Are congregating in celebration of
Her birth at a pool party hosted
By Celina and Steven, early this afternoon, and
As our host and hostess hope to finish up
Last minute touches, uninterrupted, Steven plans to
Stop by, this morning, to pleasure us with
Ravi's presence, which delights Will, David and me to no end
And as our sweet natured, bundle of joy (who
Has begun to laugh aloud at the silly-willy antics of
Every adult who finds it so easy to love her) is
Due to arrive at 9AM ... I'd be wise to get some shut eye, because
Presently, the clock says 4:41AM, and as I'm yawning
It seems best to pull this post, brief as it may be, into
The station in hopes of my falling back to sleep ... And
If you ask what made me awaken so early, I'd reply:
It's not unusual for tumultuous unrest, taking place
Inside my subconscious, to communicate with
My conscious mind in the still of the night, compelling me to
Awaken, pick up my iPad and process through
A wave of anxiety by penning thoughts, shaped by tension, which
Has been coiling up, unconsciously, ever since
The phone rang, three days ago, informing me that
The winds of fate have, once again
Swept in from out of the blue, causing unexpected change to
Frighten a loved one's sense of safety, and when a loved one
Feels threatened, so do I until insight sparks, shining
Its spotlight specifically upon that which I fear, concerning
The uncertain nature of the next leg of a loved one's journey into
The great unknown, and knowing that writing, upon awakening
Inspires the anxious state of my subconscious to
Release tension, which has been
Coiling up deep within my brain, over these past two days
My present train of thought has calmed
This present wave of anxiety at least enough to
Unstress, relax and rebalance my conscious mind, at least for now ...
So ... if you'd like to consider new insights, which
Popped out of my mind, concerning the need for
Brainstorming during troubling times when
Solution-seeking teamwork provides creative plans of action
Those additional insights can be found
In the newly edited version of yesterday's post, which
I chose to review in the wee hours of the morning, right before
My mind penned the brevity of this post, today ...
And as another yawn inspires me to believe
My anxious state of mind has relaxed enough to
Fall back to sleep, I'll hope that upon reawakening
In time to ready myself to enjoy lots of fun with Ravi
All of my loved ones will have reason to enjoy another
Clear-minded, sunny, five star day, though
This most current problem remains, as yet, unresolved ...
In fact, I can't think of a better time than, right now, for
Our family to feel surrounded by those, whose love and
Respect sustain us when fate swoops one of us up into
A whirlwind of an unexpected problem that inspires
Each of us to maintain our well-practiced
Strong sense of self control in order that teamwork can
Make sound use of our noodles at times when
Fear causes undisciplined minds to fly off the handle and
Lose control over the parts of their brains where the blendship of
Creative and critical thought-processing is stored ...
And with yawn number three, I'll bid you good night as well as
Good day ...
Friday, March 20, 2015
1279 IN THE ABSENCE OF SELF DISCIPLINED OBJECTIVITY FEAR OF CHANGE PROVES NATURAL
2015
The egocentric nature of a mind intent on controlling the perceptions and decisions of others cannot tolerate any hint of conflict, which accompanies change initiated by the growth spurt of another.
Any change initiated by the personal growth spurt of another creates spikes of anxiety within the egocentric brain, which fearing conflict, reacts to change in such an undisciplined manner as to cause sparks of anger to fire up and escalate too rapidly to develop a well practiced, line of self control when problem-solving proves necessary. This person's negatively focused attitude, born of fearing conflict, resultant of change, seems to believe that conflict is won by he or she who yells loudest, longest, over all.
When personal growth on the part of one is seen as a threat to the status quo, the brain that remains heavily invested in egocentric methods of control may resort to bullying tactics in order to ensure that its personal needs are met, no matter how illogical the argument, which ensues, proves to be to the think tank that has been taught to tame its hotheaded temper in order to problem solve with an eye trained to focus on objectivity during conflict.
In short, during times of conflict, these two people are not speaking the same language for this reason: Whereas one mind remains focused on 'me' (I win/you lose) the other remains focused on brainstorming toward a mutually respectful solution (win-win), which communicates a healthy awareness of community welfare without disregarding the personal needs of each individual. In short, a mind that proves unafraid of transitioning toward objective maturity, takes note of this fact: Over the long run, life's challenges grow ever more complex, suggesting that those who choose to mature in self disciplined ways, consciously develop the know how to solve problems by brainstorming until logical trains of thought tap into creative plans of action that simply complexity, all around.
If one person walks forward, exploring personal growth, while the other, fearing change, clings to the past, the one who feels most threatened (insecure) will argue in a less objective, more stubbornly defensive manner, thus digging in her/his heels, suggesting that in the absence of insight into deeper truth, war will be declared. In short, this fearful reaction to personal growth, conflict and change has been classic to human interaction ever since the invention of fire sparked the first wheel to burst into flames, inspiring our need to create smoke signals to spread the alarm from cave to cave and clan to clan, eons before the internet connected a world wide network of up-to-the-minute news, conveying fear of change that's not yet wholly understood, throughout the world. And each time emotional smokescreens grow too heavy to signal with attention to clarity, an alarmist attitude will burst out with an over reaction that spreads like wildfire while the attitude of the optimistic realist is taking time out to breathe in so deeply as to oxygenate the brain until the solution-seeking portion of the think tank calms down in readiness to blend creativity with logical trains of thought that make sense.
As the path I've chosen to carve out for myself exposes every step taken toward gaining insight into the egocentric dysfunctions of my brain (in hopes of identifying and re-channeling my own negatively focused trains of thought), reflection suggests that my sense of awareness began to brighten more than four decades back while raising a trio of tussling tots, who, munching on chicken nuggets and tater tots, vied for a fair share of their mommy's attention. Today, when people ask: How did your kids become such supportive friends? I reply: Beginning when they were small, it made sense to share every insight that popped out of my mind, concerning the natural state of sibling rivalry, with each of my sons, and as we learned to sit our egos in timeout while learning to communicate respectfully each time a conflict caused anger to erupt, the more supportive of formulating family friendships we became.
Once I led the way toward adventuring, wholeheartedly, into positively focused parenting techniques, the creative portion of my mind chose to carve out this path of self discovery in order to role model each stage of growth in my personal development with this belief in mind: As little monkeys are known to mimic what big monkey says and does, my children would be likely to absorb high principled character traits more often than had their mother not practiced the values that I'd hoped would soak into the depths of each child's memory bank. As each mouskateer was raised to respect his individuality as well as that of each sibling, none felt forced to turn into clones of either parent or each other in order to receive the depth of love, respect and admiration with which Will and I continue to hold all three in our esteem. And as we each made classic mistakes, along the way, we learned to help each other clean up each mess instead of heaping blame upon each other's heads.
When anyone tried to bully any of my kids, each came to believe, without so much as a doubt, that the well-practiced, mutually supportive attitude of our 'all for one and one for all' team would brainstorm how best to detour mean-mindedness from wrestling our peace of mind to the mat. And just as a coach of a championship team calls for time-out in order to reorganize the mental processes that take place within each star player's think tank, the starters on our team are known to break out of the huddle with a whole new game plan in mind ...
As decades passed, and I watched closely, my spirit soared to see three mousekateers, growing from tussling tots to teens (who experimented with this and that) into a trio of fine, strong, self disciplined muskateers, so that, today, their coaches, namely Will and Moi, can rely upon hindsight when we say that our chosen path has, over the long run, enriched the lives of each of our sons as well as our own, and upon reflection, reality suggests that the clarity of that perception proves true to this very day when our need to offer brainstorming teamwork in support of one of our own is, once again, underway.
Once the story telling portion of my brain begins to flow, naturally, you'll absorb true tales, concerning the blend-ship of creativity and logical consequences, which tamed egocentric misbehaviors on the parts of parents and children while each person in our family worked to evolve into each other's mutually respecting friends.
And with that said, the Pollyanna portion of my mind (which believes each storm cloud will pass and the sun will come out when the emotional climate has calmed) feels ready to pull today's train of thought into the station, where my mind has need to rest until my daily urge to ponder over life and love compels me to pen a new train of thought, which is sure to emerge from the proactive, insight driven portion of my mind, if not tomorrow then soon after that ...
PS
So here's a surprising question to contemplate: Who would have thought that at this stage of my recovery from PTSD, my repetitive nightmare would have emerged from within my depths, causing me to scream so loudly for help as to cause me to awaken and hold tight to Will, who held me close and stroked my hair until I stopped shaking, while reassuring me, repeatedly, that I was safe in his arms, because he'd never let anyone hurt me, again, And as my thirsty mind drank in Will's loving words while his protective embrace took care of the young girl, who lives and breathes deep inside the fearful portion of my subconscious, I felt the consciously insightful woman and vulnerable child blend into one, and if you think to ask why this most recent bout of PTSD attacked with such ferocity while I was asleep and vulnerable to despair, I'd reply ...
So who would have thought that that attack of PTSD would have attacked my peace of mind right after returning from a wonderful weekend at a luxury hotel on the coast, near to Barry, David, Marie, her sweet boys, Katy, and several of Barry and David's dear friends, who, having befriended Will and me, came together to welcome us into their hearts along with a passel of their little ones, who were too adorable and funny for words ...
Then, who would have thought that after landing at home in the desert, where we unpacked and readied ourselves to celebrate the birthday of our dear friend from Seattle at dinner before hugging them on their way to fly back to the great northwest, I'd go to sleep and fight for my life in that dream?
Why would My subconscious release that dream after we returned home from dinner to receive Steven's call, asking to make plans for a get together with Ravi on Wednesday, and while at the restaurant, my nephew called to FaceTime with his sweet, newborn son ...
Though the emergence of subconscious fear, stirring up defensiveness against the deep, dark past, seems to make little sense, insight into deeper truth suggests that layers of unexamined fear persist in troubling my conscious mind turning my think tank into a trampoline filled with jumping beans, scattering logical trains of thoughts upside down and inside out until my Line of Control places fear in time out, and I calm down ... write an intuitive post and fall back to sleep all tuckered out ...
As to why I had that dream ... I believe it was triggered by watching a child in California, whom I love, struggling to understand that which adults can't fathom about the intricacies of love and life ... In short, I think the child's distress triggered last night's unresolved bout of Deja's Vu within my mind, because dealing with bullying attitudes does not end when adults leave childhood behind. In fact, lots of adults go through life with no clue that being a grown up suggests developing the intuitive powers to know when it's best to tighten the reins on one's tongue during conflict in hopes of reconsidering an egocentric perception in time to muzzle a mean minded reply that will propel change for the worse straight down hill rather than taking time out on the spot to reorganize your mind as a whole in order to choose words so wisely that over the long run, you gain insight into how best to lead the whole clan toward conscientiously working to create change for the better, all around ...
The egocentric nature of a mind intent on controlling the perceptions and decisions of others cannot tolerate any hint of conflict, which accompanies change initiated by the growth spurt of another.
Any change initiated by the personal growth spurt of another creates spikes of anxiety within the egocentric brain, which fearing conflict, reacts to change in such an undisciplined manner as to cause sparks of anger to fire up and escalate too rapidly to develop a well practiced, line of self control when problem-solving proves necessary. This person's negatively focused attitude, born of fearing conflict, resultant of change, seems to believe that conflict is won by he or she who yells loudest, longest, over all.
When personal growth on the part of one is seen as a threat to the status quo, the brain that remains heavily invested in egocentric methods of control may resort to bullying tactics in order to ensure that its personal needs are met, no matter how illogical the argument, which ensues, proves to be to the think tank that has been taught to tame its hotheaded temper in order to problem solve with an eye trained to focus on objectivity during conflict.
In short, during times of conflict, these two people are not speaking the same language for this reason: Whereas one mind remains focused on 'me' (I win/you lose) the other remains focused on brainstorming toward a mutually respectful solution (win-win), which communicates a healthy awareness of community welfare without disregarding the personal needs of each individual. In short, a mind that proves unafraid of transitioning toward objective maturity, takes note of this fact: Over the long run, life's challenges grow ever more complex, suggesting that those who choose to mature in self disciplined ways, consciously develop the know how to solve problems by brainstorming until logical trains of thought tap into creative plans of action that simply complexity, all around.
If one person walks forward, exploring personal growth, while the other, fearing change, clings to the past, the one who feels most threatened (insecure) will argue in a less objective, more stubbornly defensive manner, thus digging in her/his heels, suggesting that in the absence of insight into deeper truth, war will be declared. In short, this fearful reaction to personal growth, conflict and change has been classic to human interaction ever since the invention of fire sparked the first wheel to burst into flames, inspiring our need to create smoke signals to spread the alarm from cave to cave and clan to clan, eons before the internet connected a world wide network of up-to-the-minute news, conveying fear of change that's not yet wholly understood, throughout the world. And each time emotional smokescreens grow too heavy to signal with attention to clarity, an alarmist attitude will burst out with an over reaction that spreads like wildfire while the attitude of the optimistic realist is taking time out to breathe in so deeply as to oxygenate the brain until the solution-seeking portion of the think tank calms down in readiness to blend creativity with logical trains of thought that make sense.
As the path I've chosen to carve out for myself exposes every step taken toward gaining insight into the egocentric dysfunctions of my brain (in hopes of identifying and re-channeling my own negatively focused trains of thought), reflection suggests that my sense of awareness began to brighten more than four decades back while raising a trio of tussling tots, who, munching on chicken nuggets and tater tots, vied for a fair share of their mommy's attention. Today, when people ask: How did your kids become such supportive friends? I reply: Beginning when they were small, it made sense to share every insight that popped out of my mind, concerning the natural state of sibling rivalry, with each of my sons, and as we learned to sit our egos in timeout while learning to communicate respectfully each time a conflict caused anger to erupt, the more supportive of formulating family friendships we became.
Once I led the way toward adventuring, wholeheartedly, into positively focused parenting techniques, the creative portion of my mind chose to carve out this path of self discovery in order to role model each stage of growth in my personal development with this belief in mind: As little monkeys are known to mimic what big monkey says and does, my children would be likely to absorb high principled character traits more often than had their mother not practiced the values that I'd hoped would soak into the depths of each child's memory bank. As each mouskateer was raised to respect his individuality as well as that of each sibling, none felt forced to turn into clones of either parent or each other in order to receive the depth of love, respect and admiration with which Will and I continue to hold all three in our esteem. And as we each made classic mistakes, along the way, we learned to help each other clean up each mess instead of heaping blame upon each other's heads.
When anyone tried to bully any of my kids, each came to believe, without so much as a doubt, that the well-practiced, mutually supportive attitude of our 'all for one and one for all' team would brainstorm how best to detour mean-mindedness from wrestling our peace of mind to the mat. And just as a coach of a championship team calls for time-out in order to reorganize the mental processes that take place within each star player's think tank, the starters on our team are known to break out of the huddle with a whole new game plan in mind ...
As decades passed, and I watched closely, my spirit soared to see three mousekateers, growing from tussling tots to teens (who experimented with this and that) into a trio of fine, strong, self disciplined muskateers, so that, today, their coaches, namely Will and Moi, can rely upon hindsight when we say that our chosen path has, over the long run, enriched the lives of each of our sons as well as our own, and upon reflection, reality suggests that the clarity of that perception proves true to this very day when our need to offer brainstorming teamwork in support of one of our own is, once again, underway.
Once the story telling portion of my brain begins to flow, naturally, you'll absorb true tales, concerning the blend-ship of creativity and logical consequences, which tamed egocentric misbehaviors on the parts of parents and children while each person in our family worked to evolve into each other's mutually respecting friends.
And with that said, the Pollyanna portion of my mind (which believes each storm cloud will pass and the sun will come out when the emotional climate has calmed) feels ready to pull today's train of thought into the station, where my mind has need to rest until my daily urge to ponder over life and love compels me to pen a new train of thought, which is sure to emerge from the proactive, insight driven portion of my mind, if not tomorrow then soon after that ...
PS
So here's a surprising question to contemplate: Who would have thought that at this stage of my recovery from PTSD, my repetitive nightmare would have emerged from within my depths, causing me to scream so loudly for help as to cause me to awaken and hold tight to Will, who held me close and stroked my hair until I stopped shaking, while reassuring me, repeatedly, that I was safe in his arms, because he'd never let anyone hurt me, again, And as my thirsty mind drank in Will's loving words while his protective embrace took care of the young girl, who lives and breathes deep inside the fearful portion of my subconscious, I felt the consciously insightful woman and vulnerable child blend into one, and if you think to ask why this most recent bout of PTSD attacked with such ferocity while I was asleep and vulnerable to despair, I'd reply ...
So who would have thought that that attack of PTSD would have attacked my peace of mind right after returning from a wonderful weekend at a luxury hotel on the coast, near to Barry, David, Marie, her sweet boys, Katy, and several of Barry and David's dear friends, who, having befriended Will and me, came together to welcome us into their hearts along with a passel of their little ones, who were too adorable and funny for words ...
Then, who would have thought that after landing at home in the desert, where we unpacked and readied ourselves to celebrate the birthday of our dear friend from Seattle at dinner before hugging them on their way to fly back to the great northwest, I'd go to sleep and fight for my life in that dream?
Why would My subconscious release that dream after we returned home from dinner to receive Steven's call, asking to make plans for a get together with Ravi on Wednesday, and while at the restaurant, my nephew called to FaceTime with his sweet, newborn son ...
Though the emergence of subconscious fear, stirring up defensiveness against the deep, dark past, seems to make little sense, insight into deeper truth suggests that layers of unexamined fear persist in troubling my conscious mind turning my think tank into a trampoline filled with jumping beans, scattering logical trains of thoughts upside down and inside out until my Line of Control places fear in time out, and I calm down ... write an intuitive post and fall back to sleep all tuckered out ...
As to why I had that dream ... I believe it was triggered by watching a child in California, whom I love, struggling to understand that which adults can't fathom about the intricacies of love and life ... In short, I think the child's distress triggered last night's unresolved bout of Deja's Vu within my mind, because dealing with bullying attitudes does not end when adults leave childhood behind. In fact, lots of adults go through life with no clue that being a grown up suggests developing the intuitive powers to know when it's best to tighten the reins on one's tongue during conflict in hopes of reconsidering an egocentric perception in time to muzzle a mean minded reply that will propel change for the worse straight down hill rather than taking time out on the spot to reorganize your mind as a whole in order to choose words so wisely that over the long run, you gain insight into how best to lead the whole clan toward conscientiously working to create change for the better, all around ...
Thursday, March 19, 2015
1278 COCK-EYED OPTIMIST OR REALISTIC PLAN MAKER?
2015
As the problem, which arose this week from out of the blue, remains unsolved
Our family, reacting as a team, came together—in fact
David flew in—and as is common when any of us is faced
With solution seeking of a serious nature, we'll continue to brainstorm until
Team work and creative thinking come up with a proactive plan of action—
Bottom line, no one's in denial, meaning that
No one is wasting time or energy by pointing fingers of blame, in fact
Reflection suggests that the person, who is most in need of clarity
Is shouldering the heavy weight of undeserved guilt, which is why
An integral portion of our brainstorming, problem-solving routine
Concentrates on heightening objectivity, all around
I am beginning to see where today's train of thought is going:
Today's stream of consciousness is focused upon the fact that
My power of intuition is in the process of tapping into
My subconscious storehouse of factual memory, and thus does
Intuitive thought serve as my brain's conveyance when
My conscious awareness is in need of insight into deeper truth, and
Having clarified that, let's see where today's insight is going:
Insightful thought is working to release an answer to
A question that I'd asked of myself several posts back:
If denial is defined as a mental block against 'knowing' oneself then
Clarity directs each mind to focus less on
Imaginative hocus-pocus and more upon
Implementing simple plans of action, which
Actually work their magic by
Tuning into the positively focused side of our minds rather than
Concentrating mental energy on sending anyone on a guilt trip, which
Upon reflection, may prove undeserved—in short
Our family's well practiced brainstorming technique ensures that
We don't put anyone down—and anyone includes oneself ...
In short, the nature of this unexpected setback shows our family
Practicing teamwork in that each player is encouraged to make good use of
His or her gray matter by focusing less on black and white and more on
Brainstorming through a kaleidoscope of possible solutions until
Clarity taps into the positive side of imagination whereby
Creative thinking combined with critical thinking spotlights
The solution that clearly connects
Heartfelt need with logical trains of thought ... and
With a growing sense of insight into the fact that
Setbacks are integral to every endeavor that ultimately
Meets with success throughout each stage of life
Our family supports each other's long-range goals, much more often than not—
And now, after reflecting over today's train of thought, I have to chuckle at
Will's outdated view of The Cock-eyed Optimist, whom
He swept up into his arms and
Carried over the threshold as his bride, 49 years ago, today ...
PS
It looks like Intuitive thought has just answered
The question I posed a couple of posts back:
Does my connection to positive focus fall into Denial Land, more often than I know?
Apparently, that has not been true in recent years for this reason:
My focus has been consciously directed at opening my eyes to
Clarity rather than allowing pretense to blind me to myself ...
And the proof in the pudding points to this last insight for today:
The Realistic Plan-making Woman I've grown to be is not
Nearly as naive as the frightened young girl in my dreamscape, whom, upon
Approaching young adulthood, freely consented to be Will's blushing bride ...
As the problem, which arose this week from out of the blue, remains unsolved
Our family, reacting as a team, came together—in fact
David flew in—and as is common when any of us is faced
With solution seeking of a serious nature, we'll continue to brainstorm until
Team work and creative thinking come up with a proactive plan of action—
Bottom line, no one's in denial, meaning that
No one is wasting time or energy by pointing fingers of blame, in fact
Reflection suggests that the person, who is most in need of clarity
Is shouldering the heavy weight of undeserved guilt, which is why
An integral portion of our brainstorming, problem-solving routine
Concentrates on heightening objectivity, all around
I am beginning to see where today's train of thought is going:
Today's stream of consciousness is focused upon the fact that
My power of intuition is in the process of tapping into
My subconscious storehouse of factual memory, and thus does
Intuitive thought serve as my brain's conveyance when
My conscious awareness is in need of insight into deeper truth, and
Having clarified that, let's see where today's insight is going:
Insightful thought is working to release an answer to
A question that I'd asked of myself several posts back:
If denial is defined as a mental block against 'knowing' oneself then
Clarity directs each mind to focus less on
Imaginative hocus-pocus and more upon
Implementing simple plans of action, which
Actually work their magic by
Tuning into the positively focused side of our minds rather than
Concentrating mental energy on sending anyone on a guilt trip, which
Upon reflection, may prove undeserved—in short
Our family's well practiced brainstorming technique ensures that
We don't put anyone down—and anyone includes oneself ...
In short, the nature of this unexpected setback shows our family
Practicing teamwork in that each player is encouraged to make good use of
His or her gray matter by focusing less on black and white and more on
Brainstorming through a kaleidoscope of possible solutions until
Clarity taps into the positive side of imagination whereby
Creative thinking combined with critical thinking spotlights
The solution that clearly connects
Heartfelt need with logical trains of thought ... and
With a growing sense of insight into the fact that
Setbacks are integral to every endeavor that ultimately
Meets with success throughout each stage of life
Our family supports each other's long-range goals, much more often than not—
And now, after reflecting over today's train of thought, I have to chuckle at
Will's outdated view of The Cock-eyed Optimist, whom
He swept up into his arms and
Carried over the threshold as his bride, 49 years ago, today ...
PS
It looks like Intuitive thought has just answered
The question I posed a couple of posts back:
Does my connection to positive focus fall into Denial Land, more often than I know?
Apparently, that has not been true in recent years for this reason:
My focus has been consciously directed at opening my eyes to
Clarity rather than allowing pretense to blind me to myself ...
And the proof in the pudding points to this last insight for today:
The Realistic Plan-making Woman I've grown to be is not
Nearly as naive as the frightened young girl in my dreamscape, whom, upon
Approaching young adulthood, freely consented to be Will's blushing bride ...
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
1277 DIRECTING MY SENSE OF HOPE TOWARD CHANGE FOR THE BETTER ...
2015
A problem of serious concern has arisen out of the blue
In order not to alarm you, let me assure you that everyone's healthy; however
This problem calls for 'all for one' time, suggesting
My having no time to write, today
On the other hand, you might like to know that
Insights were added to my dreamscapes, published, yesterday, and
Now, I gotta go ...
A problem of serious concern has arisen out of the blue
In order not to alarm you, let me assure you that everyone's healthy; however
This problem calls for 'all for one' time, suggesting
My having no time to write, today
On the other hand, you might like to know that
Insights were added to my dreamscapes, published, yesterday, and
Now, I gotta go ...
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
1276 AT 2:45 AM, I'M AWAKENED BY A SCREAM
2015
It's 2:45AM. This is the first time I screamed loudly enough to awaken myself from a nightmare where a bully is hurting me while a group of fearful people watch passively, because none has developed the power to stand in defiance of evil-doing in order to defend those who, on their own, feel powerless to free themselves from the clutches of brutish behavior, and since no one had the courage to rise to my defense each time a bully charged, like a raging bull, straight at my vulnerability, I, seeing myself as prey feeding this creature's need to tear my peace of mind to shreds, spin on my heel and crash head first through a basement window that, being level with the ground, separates me from the passive gang, who fearing that the beast might target them, stand like statues, who do nothing to stop the bully from lunging through the broken window, while I, crawling away— feeling mentally spent—with my physical and emotional injuries fully exposed, hear myself screaming bloody murder to no avail as I'm pounced upon and grappled to the ground while surrounded by those who, professing to love, honor and respect me, remain blind and deaf to the fact that their passivity feeds the beast's roar of victory when they accept the bully's suggestion that all raise a glass of wine while toasting to the bully's exclusion of me ... And if you ask how those who profess to love me can close their eyes and sleep in peace, I'd reply: Once bullies grow up, they may prove so brilliantly subtle as to bamboozle every think tank except for those that eventually see through the sham when the bully in sheep's clothing beckons to the flock to get drunk on pandering compliments thrown in the air, all around. Seems to me I need to create a tea party of my own patterned after the one that took place in Boston, because some things change when children assume the mantle of adulthood and some things don't, and unfortunately, the bullying aspects of human nature stick close to the latter.
It's 2:45AM. I'm in the basement of a massive, brown brick apartment building. I'm a young girl, somewhat older than a child. I'm surrounded by people, who profess to love me but are too afraid of conflict to make a peep. Their reactions seem blind and deaf to the frequency with which I've had to stand my ground in honor of my self respect each time this bully's defensive attitude feels need to put me down, and with hindsight, I've come to see that that's been our pattern, ever since we were kids. Since the eyes of these passive observers glaze over as to look half dead with dread each time I mention being bullied, again, I begin to wonder if fear at finding myself being squeezed out may cause me to shrink back along with everyone else in this group, who, longing for peaceful co-existence, resists taking a proactive stance in fear of further inflaming the wrath of this one particular person, except for my father, who, wearing whatever he feels on his sleeve, appears to fear nothing other than poverty, and feeling free of fear, my father is known, far and wide, as a man who says whatever he feels in such an unfiltered fashion as to shock every ear close enough to listen up. Unfortunately, my father's voice missing each time the bully gathers the flock, satisfying its hunger for power by charging straight into my vulnerabilities, and with that insight in mind, reflection suggests that this train of thought has led my conscious mind to see more deeply into the relationship that exists between change and conflict in that clarity has just ignited this OMG moment for me: The tide turned when my father died and the flock had need to pass the baton of leadership—Oh my gosh! Suddenly this latest insight, emerging from within my subconscious, has dropped into the sea of insights, which comprise the storehouse of knowledge that swirls through my mind each time a missing puzzle piece reminds me, once again, that change and unexpected conflict go hand in hand. And each time conflict raises its power hungry little head, the need to set boundaries must be voiced, regardless of what may be at risk if I open my mouth to protest the bully's need to put me down.
If, at this point, you think to ask how this insight will serve to strengthen my voice, I'd reply: At this stage of my life, I've worked conscientiously to dive ever more deeply into subconscious memory in hopes of retrieving so many puzzle pieces from the past as to replace confusion with clarity in hopes of focusing my think tank toward assembling the bigger picture, which most observers in the group have yet to see for this reason: Their communal lack of self awareness is still wandering through life's dark, puzzling maze, led by one who fears any discussion concerning insight into deeper truth, and in the absence of insight into assembling missing pieces of the bigger picture, the perceptions of community solidarity have continued to weaken and darken. In short, the attitude of leadership is everything.
It's 2:45AM. I am in the basement of my mind, where subconscious memories, which layer up, dating back to yesteryear, are stored. I'm surrounded by people, who, while professing to love, respect and cherish me, can't seem to hear a thing I say or relate to what I feel, and while I feel a growing sense of disconnection from the inner sanctum of this group, who turn a deaf ear to much of what I feel the need to say about self awareness, I choose to make sound use of my mind in order to voice the courage of my convictions while soldiering forth into the great unknown. During each stage of my transition—from vulnerability to strength in individuation—my sense of clarity continues to deepen, and if you ask why my hard won personal strengths are quaking less frequently than before, my reply would be threefold: First of all, I believe in the power of one. Secondly, I know myself to be a person, whose self awareness is empowered by insight, which guides me to soldier forth proactively on my own rather than bowing passively to the egocentric leadership of a bully in sheep's clothing. Thirdly, I've gained insight into the fact that this flock of sheep is not all black or lily white. This flock is made up of individuals, suggesting that each person will make use of his or her grey matter differently from all rest, and since life tests each member of the flock to grow aware of gaining insight into deeper truth as is true of me—I believe that with patience and hopeful shots of positive focus, I'll find myself to be not nearly as alone in my quest to lead this group toward healing as I've felt for more than a dozen years ...
It's 2:45AM. I see the bully eyeing me. I go from person to person, pleading for help, but all avert their eyes, close their ears and zip their lips so tightly that the silence feels more shocking to me than any scream I've ever heard. As over years past, each of these people had looked to my trains of thought for help, I can't help but wonder what has led this flock astray ever since my mind, heart and spirit has felt utterly spent. (If only people were more like seagulls than sheep. If that last statement has confused you, I'm referencing the novella, Jonathan Livingston Seagull.) Having learned the wisdom of listening before speaking, I assemble the group and ask what each one is thinking and shock reels silently through me when I hear: 'You're too sensitive.' 'You have no friends.' While taking time out to reflect, I ask myself: Who is at the helm, leading this group astray, ever since my father died; the depth of my mother's grief consumed my heart, and my spirit wandered so deeply into this emotional maze as to have caused my mind to lose sight of the path where clarity, concerning reality, will once again be mine?
It's 2:45AM. I am surrounded by people, who having no clue as to the importance of taking time out to reconsider their perceptions, have yet to recognize the subtle nature of a bully's influence. Those who remain blindsided have given the negative focus of this person's perceptions license to bite large chunks out of my inner strengths for so many years that eventually the wealth of insightful knowledge that I chose to amass felt choked back behind so much repressed fury that I fear my Line of Control may snap, and if you ask why I haven't opened my mouth to snarl back, I'd reply: That, my friends, is exactly the reaction that the bully has been baiting me to do, and thus, in my dream, I crash, head first through that window, like a bat out of hell, and when the bully tackles me to the ground in my own home, all I can do is scream bloody murder: Where the hell is my team? Whew! Thank god I have an astute coach, who understands what happens when PTSD is on the loose. Unfortunately, the young woman in this dream has not yet been correctly diagnosed, but that time will come, and then, rather than inching forward, I'll begin to make strides by mustering the courage necessary to breath so deep as to fully oxygenate my brain in readiness to take huge leaps of faith.
It's 2:45AM. I awaken to my screams. Though this is not the first time my screams have awakened Will, it is the first time my screaming awakened me. This is the first time I remember a more detailed version of a repetitive nightmare that I've had since childhood. Beginning in childhood, my dream saw me as being chased down a dark street, before the dawning, by a dark, hairy monster-like being, who, over time, will personify every bully who has ever threatened my personal sense of well being ever since my development detoured away from strengthening the self assertive portion of my voice when I was three. In earlier dreams, I'm chased through the dark of night, and upon opening my mouth to scream for help, nothing releases except for the silence of terror, gagging my voice behind the lump fear that has crushed my self self respect inside my windpipe until it's impossible to breath much less express the drowning nature of panic that suggests my need for someone to stand up beside me before the best part of my psyche, the part that trusts people to know me worthy of love, respect and affectionate attention, gives up in despair of ever being accurately heard. And then the fear inside me goes on to say: One day, those who professed to love, honor and respect the mind, heart and spirit of the woman I once was will collectively shake their heads in rock solid confusion while wondering what in the world could make a person who had demonstrated such a tireless passion for championing the vulnerabilities inherent in others to disappear, leaving the confounded masses scratching their heads as they continue to wander forth in denial of how often the woman had pled for help for years before her enthusiastic attitude, concerning life and love, which had known no bounds, grew so exhausted that no one could recognize the shell of her former self, and as, with the passage of time, her spirit shrunk into itself, the woman was seen smiling quietly while insight into deeper truths continued to drip, drip, drip out of the hole that years of futility had drilled through the self empowering strengths that she'd worked to amass within the brain space, which had once housed her well organized mind until that last straw occurred, causing the woman to cut loose of her grass-roots-movement-to-create-change-for-the-better in favor of allowing the sparkle in her bright blue eyes to grow dim and glaze over as she joined hands with the passive masses, who go about their busy days acting as though the curious disappearance of a living soul—whose enthusiasm for love and life had inspired countless others to hold her hand while, together, they achieved a wide variety of mutually supportive leaps of faith—is a common, every day, occurrence...
... And having been there done that, twice, I'll not be seen entertaining that negatively focused thought for more than a second, so—so help me God—the woman I've worked to become will do whatever it takes to make good use of my voice to rouse the alarm, thus reassuring the frightened, young girl, who screamed for help to no avail in dream after dream that no matter how long it takes to awaken others' sense of awareness to the negatively focused, egocentric attitude that has assumed leadership over this flock of sheep, my mind, heart and spirit will keep percolating until others wake up, smell the coffee, and stop being so easily influenced by a bullying point of view. I guess what I'm saying comes down to this: Though others may continue to duck ever more deeply into the maze, where fear detours the conscious mind from confronting reality with crystal clear clarity, I'll not allow the think tank that I've consciously worked to fill with insight into positively focused solution-seeking skills to take the easy way out by slipping into Denial Land, again. And you can believe that as long as the emotionally intelligent woman I've grown to be is still on this side of the grass, that will be true. And now, though there's much more to share about what happened in my dream, concerning leadership that aspires to achieve an attitude of win-win vs leadership that's sharply but subtly focused upon I win-you lose, here's why that's enough for today: My think tank has tired, and as it's 4:45AM, I'm going back to sleep ...
It's 2:45AM. This is the first time I screamed loudly enough to awaken myself from a nightmare where a bully is hurting me while a group of fearful people watch passively, because none has developed the power to stand in defiance of evil-doing in order to defend those who, on their own, feel powerless to free themselves from the clutches of brutish behavior, and since no one had the courage to rise to my defense each time a bully charged, like a raging bull, straight at my vulnerability, I, seeing myself as prey feeding this creature's need to tear my peace of mind to shreds, spin on my heel and crash head first through a basement window that, being level with the ground, separates me from the passive gang, who fearing that the beast might target them, stand like statues, who do nothing to stop the bully from lunging through the broken window, while I, crawling away— feeling mentally spent—with my physical and emotional injuries fully exposed, hear myself screaming bloody murder to no avail as I'm pounced upon and grappled to the ground while surrounded by those who, professing to love, honor and respect me, remain blind and deaf to the fact that their passivity feeds the beast's roar of victory when they accept the bully's suggestion that all raise a glass of wine while toasting to the bully's exclusion of me ... And if you ask how those who profess to love me can close their eyes and sleep in peace, I'd reply: Once bullies grow up, they may prove so brilliantly subtle as to bamboozle every think tank except for those that eventually see through the sham when the bully in sheep's clothing beckons to the flock to get drunk on pandering compliments thrown in the air, all around. Seems to me I need to create a tea party of my own patterned after the one that took place in Boston, because some things change when children assume the mantle of adulthood and some things don't, and unfortunately, the bullying aspects of human nature stick close to the latter.
It's 2:45AM. I'm in the basement of a massive, brown brick apartment building. I'm a young girl, somewhat older than a child. I'm surrounded by people, who profess to love me but are too afraid of conflict to make a peep. Their reactions seem blind and deaf to the frequency with which I've had to stand my ground in honor of my self respect each time this bully's defensive attitude feels need to put me down, and with hindsight, I've come to see that that's been our pattern, ever since we were kids. Since the eyes of these passive observers glaze over as to look half dead with dread each time I mention being bullied, again, I begin to wonder if fear at finding myself being squeezed out may cause me to shrink back along with everyone else in this group, who, longing for peaceful co-existence, resists taking a proactive stance in fear of further inflaming the wrath of this one particular person, except for my father, who, wearing whatever he feels on his sleeve, appears to fear nothing other than poverty, and feeling free of fear, my father is known, far and wide, as a man who says whatever he feels in such an unfiltered fashion as to shock every ear close enough to listen up. Unfortunately, my father's voice missing each time the bully gathers the flock, satisfying its hunger for power by charging straight into my vulnerabilities, and with that insight in mind, reflection suggests that this train of thought has led my conscious mind to see more deeply into the relationship that exists between change and conflict in that clarity has just ignited this OMG moment for me: The tide turned when my father died and the flock had need to pass the baton of leadership—Oh my gosh! Suddenly this latest insight, emerging from within my subconscious, has dropped into the sea of insights, which comprise the storehouse of knowledge that swirls through my mind each time a missing puzzle piece reminds me, once again, that change and unexpected conflict go hand in hand. And each time conflict raises its power hungry little head, the need to set boundaries must be voiced, regardless of what may be at risk if I open my mouth to protest the bully's need to put me down.
If, at this point, you think to ask how this insight will serve to strengthen my voice, I'd reply: At this stage of my life, I've worked conscientiously to dive ever more deeply into subconscious memory in hopes of retrieving so many puzzle pieces from the past as to replace confusion with clarity in hopes of focusing my think tank toward assembling the bigger picture, which most observers in the group have yet to see for this reason: Their communal lack of self awareness is still wandering through life's dark, puzzling maze, led by one who fears any discussion concerning insight into deeper truth, and in the absence of insight into assembling missing pieces of the bigger picture, the perceptions of community solidarity have continued to weaken and darken. In short, the attitude of leadership is everything.
It's 2:45AM. I am in the basement of my mind, where subconscious memories, which layer up, dating back to yesteryear, are stored. I'm surrounded by people, who, while professing to love, respect and cherish me, can't seem to hear a thing I say or relate to what I feel, and while I feel a growing sense of disconnection from the inner sanctum of this group, who turn a deaf ear to much of what I feel the need to say about self awareness, I choose to make sound use of my mind in order to voice the courage of my convictions while soldiering forth into the great unknown. During each stage of my transition—from vulnerability to strength in individuation—my sense of clarity continues to deepen, and if you ask why my hard won personal strengths are quaking less frequently than before, my reply would be threefold: First of all, I believe in the power of one. Secondly, I know myself to be a person, whose self awareness is empowered by insight, which guides me to soldier forth proactively on my own rather than bowing passively to the egocentric leadership of a bully in sheep's clothing. Thirdly, I've gained insight into the fact that this flock of sheep is not all black or lily white. This flock is made up of individuals, suggesting that each person will make use of his or her grey matter differently from all rest, and since life tests each member of the flock to grow aware of gaining insight into deeper truth as is true of me—I believe that with patience and hopeful shots of positive focus, I'll find myself to be not nearly as alone in my quest to lead this group toward healing as I've felt for more than a dozen years ...
It's 2:45AM. I see the bully eyeing me. I go from person to person, pleading for help, but all avert their eyes, close their ears and zip their lips so tightly that the silence feels more shocking to me than any scream I've ever heard. As over years past, each of these people had looked to my trains of thought for help, I can't help but wonder what has led this flock astray ever since my mind, heart and spirit has felt utterly spent. (If only people were more like seagulls than sheep. If that last statement has confused you, I'm referencing the novella, Jonathan Livingston Seagull.) Having learned the wisdom of listening before speaking, I assemble the group and ask what each one is thinking and shock reels silently through me when I hear: 'You're too sensitive.' 'You have no friends.' While taking time out to reflect, I ask myself: Who is at the helm, leading this group astray, ever since my father died; the depth of my mother's grief consumed my heart, and my spirit wandered so deeply into this emotional maze as to have caused my mind to lose sight of the path where clarity, concerning reality, will once again be mine?
It's 2:45AM. I am surrounded by people, who having no clue as to the importance of taking time out to reconsider their perceptions, have yet to recognize the subtle nature of a bully's influence. Those who remain blindsided have given the negative focus of this person's perceptions license to bite large chunks out of my inner strengths for so many years that eventually the wealth of insightful knowledge that I chose to amass felt choked back behind so much repressed fury that I fear my Line of Control may snap, and if you ask why I haven't opened my mouth to snarl back, I'd reply: That, my friends, is exactly the reaction that the bully has been baiting me to do, and thus, in my dream, I crash, head first through that window, like a bat out of hell, and when the bully tackles me to the ground in my own home, all I can do is scream bloody murder: Where the hell is my team? Whew! Thank god I have an astute coach, who understands what happens when PTSD is on the loose. Unfortunately, the young woman in this dream has not yet been correctly diagnosed, but that time will come, and then, rather than inching forward, I'll begin to make strides by mustering the courage necessary to breath so deep as to fully oxygenate my brain in readiness to take huge leaps of faith.
It's 2:45AM. I awaken to my screams. Though this is not the first time my screams have awakened Will, it is the first time my screaming awakened me. This is the first time I remember a more detailed version of a repetitive nightmare that I've had since childhood. Beginning in childhood, my dream saw me as being chased down a dark street, before the dawning, by a dark, hairy monster-like being, who, over time, will personify every bully who has ever threatened my personal sense of well being ever since my development detoured away from strengthening the self assertive portion of my voice when I was three. In earlier dreams, I'm chased through the dark of night, and upon opening my mouth to scream for help, nothing releases except for the silence of terror, gagging my voice behind the lump fear that has crushed my self self respect inside my windpipe until it's impossible to breath much less express the drowning nature of panic that suggests my need for someone to stand up beside me before the best part of my psyche, the part that trusts people to know me worthy of love, respect and affectionate attention, gives up in despair of ever being accurately heard. And then the fear inside me goes on to say: One day, those who professed to love, honor and respect the mind, heart and spirit of the woman I once was will collectively shake their heads in rock solid confusion while wondering what in the world could make a person who had demonstrated such a tireless passion for championing the vulnerabilities inherent in others to disappear, leaving the confounded masses scratching their heads as they continue to wander forth in denial of how often the woman had pled for help for years before her enthusiastic attitude, concerning life and love, which had known no bounds, grew so exhausted that no one could recognize the shell of her former self, and as, with the passage of time, her spirit shrunk into itself, the woman was seen smiling quietly while insight into deeper truths continued to drip, drip, drip out of the hole that years of futility had drilled through the self empowering strengths that she'd worked to amass within the brain space, which had once housed her well organized mind until that last straw occurred, causing the woman to cut loose of her grass-roots-movement-to-create-change-for-the-better in favor of allowing the sparkle in her bright blue eyes to grow dim and glaze over as she joined hands with the passive masses, who go about their busy days acting as though the curious disappearance of a living soul—whose enthusiasm for love and life had inspired countless others to hold her hand while, together, they achieved a wide variety of mutually supportive leaps of faith—is a common, every day, occurrence...
... And having been there done that, twice, I'll not be seen entertaining that negatively focused thought for more than a second, so—so help me God—the woman I've worked to become will do whatever it takes to make good use of my voice to rouse the alarm, thus reassuring the frightened, young girl, who screamed for help to no avail in dream after dream that no matter how long it takes to awaken others' sense of awareness to the negatively focused, egocentric attitude that has assumed leadership over this flock of sheep, my mind, heart and spirit will keep percolating until others wake up, smell the coffee, and stop being so easily influenced by a bullying point of view. I guess what I'm saying comes down to this: Though others may continue to duck ever more deeply into the maze, where fear detours the conscious mind from confronting reality with crystal clear clarity, I'll not allow the think tank that I've consciously worked to fill with insight into positively focused solution-seeking skills to take the easy way out by slipping into Denial Land, again. And you can believe that as long as the emotionally intelligent woman I've grown to be is still on this side of the grass, that will be true. And now, though there's much more to share about what happened in my dream, concerning leadership that aspires to achieve an attitude of win-win vs leadership that's sharply but subtly focused upon I win-you lose, here's why that's enough for today: My think tank has tired, and as it's 4:45AM, I'm going back to sleep ...
Monday, March 16, 2015
1275 IS THE OPTIMIST FACING DENIAL?
2015
Though the cock-eyed optimist in me has encountered countless reasons to develop into an optimistic realist, insight into deeper truth suggests that my evolution toward clarifying that change for the better is still taking two steps forward, one back. I guess it makes sense to suggest that it feels utterly unnatural for the Pollyanna portion of my think tank to give up on any long range goal that would make my spirit soar. So, each time the realistic portion of my think tank faces disappointment after I've consciously set my ego aside in order to expand my sense of objectivity while confronting perceptions or needs that conflict with my own, I wonder if my think tank ducks into denial where my addiction to hope resets my connection to creativity, whereby a sure fire plan of action that's bound to achieve positive results pops out of my mind ...
The reason I wonder if today's train of thought is on the right track is because recent experiences, ending in the kind of disappointment that hints at futility, have been deepening my sense of insight into this sad fact of life: No amount of loving objectivity on my part has the power to penetrate a mental block, based in fear, in another person's head.
Now, having said that, please don't assume that Pollyanna has exited, stage left
In truth, her attitude of resilient fortitude proves to be
Though the cock-eyed optimist in me has encountered countless reasons to develop into an optimistic realist, insight into deeper truth suggests that my evolution toward clarifying that change for the better is still taking two steps forward, one back. I guess it makes sense to suggest that it feels utterly unnatural for the Pollyanna portion of my think tank to give up on any long range goal that would make my spirit soar. So, each time the realistic portion of my think tank faces disappointment after I've consciously set my ego aside in order to expand my sense of objectivity while confronting perceptions or needs that conflict with my own, I wonder if my think tank ducks into denial where my addiction to hope resets my connection to creativity, whereby a sure fire plan of action that's bound to achieve positive results pops out of my mind ...
The reason I wonder if today's train of thought is on the right track is because recent experiences, ending in the kind of disappointment that hints at futility, have been deepening my sense of insight into this sad fact of life: No amount of loving objectivity on my part has the power to penetrate a mental block, based in fear, in another person's head.
Now, having said that, please don't assume that Pollyanna has exited, stage left
In truth, her attitude of resilient fortitude proves to be
The part of my whole that I value most of all
And having set a high value on my relationship with
And having set a high value on my relationship with
This positively focused portion of my think tank, which
Offers others the benefit of the doubt
I'll sleep on today's quest for insight into
Clarity in hopes that upon awakening, tomorrow
A string of insights into deeper truth
May pop out of my inquisitive mind ...
Sunday, March 15, 2015
1274 SHORTEST POST ... EVER!
2015
Though it's probable that I've gained insight into why Will still sees me as a cock-eyed optimist while I see myself as evolving toward becoming an optimistic realist, I have no time, today, to share that insight concerning the nature of Will's perception vs mine, for this reason:
I'm eager to ready myself to spend the day with my sons, suggesting no time to write more till tomorrow ...
If today proves not to be a five star day, I'll eat my sun hat!
Your ever-optimistic friend,
Annie
I'm eager to ready myself to spend the day with my sons, suggesting no time to write more till tomorrow ...
If today proves not to be a five star day, I'll eat my sun hat!
Your ever-optimistic friend,
Annie
Saturday, March 14, 2015
1273 ACT THREE
2015
This morning's awareness:
If you ask why love in its purest form creates
Feelings of happiness, all around, I'd reply:
In the beginning, love is about
Giving the best of oneself to
The object of your affection no matter
What you receive in return
It's later, when baggage, buried deep but
Carried forward from the past, surfaces, causing
Love to grow defensive on both sides, that
The worm turns and the fishing expedition begins, where
One feels the need to fish for reassurance while
Carried forward from the past, surfaces, causing
Love to grow defensive on both sides, that
The worm turns and the fishing expedition begins, where
One feels the need to fish for reassurance while
The other grows resistant to showing that
Affection is not waining, and once this
Change for the worse begins to take place
Affection is not waining, and once this
Change for the worse begins to take place
Love feels less like a day at the beach and
More like a salmon swimming upstream ...
Though the description above
Summarizes acts one and two of The Evolution of Love
It's that which takes place in act three that
Determines whether the bonds of love
Develop a lasting connection or not ...
And here's why that deeper truth rings classically true:
If more of us chose to seek insight into
The classic, universal and timeless
Nature of love's three act play
We'd be more likely to train our eyes on
How best to achieve lasting success instead of
Misperceiving the play to be over after act two
Speaking retrospectively, hindsight suggests that with
Attention to detail, a boy-meets-girl love story need not
End sadly and tragically if, after act two
Programs, summarizing the fact that three acts exist
Are distributed, read and discussed before
The love-light dims and the curtain descends on act two
I mean, seriously, it's all too common that
Those who choose to leave the theater after act two
Have no clue how often
The happy ending we crave at every stage of life
May be written into the dialogue that's exchanged between
A boy in love with a girl and
A girl in love with a boy when, during act three
Both choose to learn about
The self destructive effects, perpetrated by
Defensive reactions, which prove instinctively
Natural at every age ...
Though the description above
Summarizes acts one and two of The Evolution of Love
It's that which takes place in act three that
Determines whether the bonds of love
Develop a lasting connection or not ...
And here's why that deeper truth rings classically true:
If more of us chose to seek insight into
The classic, universal and timeless
Nature of love's three act play
We'd be more likely to train our eyes on
How best to achieve lasting success instead of
Misperceiving the play to be over after act two
Speaking retrospectively, hindsight suggests that with
Attention to detail, a boy-meets-girl love story need not
End sadly and tragically if, after act two
Programs, summarizing the fact that three acts exist
Are distributed, read and discussed before
The love-light dims and the curtain descends on act two
I mean, seriously, it's all too common that
Those who choose to leave the theater after act two
Have no clue how often
The happy ending we crave at every stage of life
May be written into the dialogue that's exchanged between
A boy in love with a girl and
A girl in love with a boy when, during act three
Both choose to learn about
The self destructive effects, perpetrated by
Defensive reactions, which prove instinctively
Natural at every age ...
Friday, March 13, 2015
1272 CHOOSING CHANGE FOR THE BETTER, NOT WORSE
2015
Carving out a path, where my sense of self respect
Has had reason to deepen would have been impossible if
My think tank had not practiced placing
My ego in time out each time a recurrent problem
Demanded the sum of my mental strengths to
Function as a well balanced, solution-seeking whole
Carving out a path, where my sense of self respect
Has had reason to deepen would have been impossible if
My think tank had not practiced placing
My ego in time out each time a recurrent problem
Demanded the sum of my mental strengths to
Function as a well balanced, solution-seeking whole
BTW, if you think it's easy to rein in my ego in hopes of creating
Change for the better by consciously choosing to
think smart iover thinking defensively
Please think again, because deeper truth suggests need to call upon
My Line of Control each time a person's defensive stance
Blows so much hot wind in my face as to trigger
My survival instinct, which naturally longs to
Free my tongue to lash hotly back ...
Each time I consciously place my ego in time out, I can respond to
A put down in a kind, clear, self disciplined manner, suggesting
My ability to voice my truth calmly and clearly while
Carefully making my way through
One emotional mine field after another, and
In this way does my intelligence carve a path that
Inspires those, who do not fear self discovery
To follow my lead into The Promised land, where open minds
Resolve conflicts by embracing The Game of Win-Win over
Power struggling until such time as conflict resolution
Culminates in peace of mind, all around ...
As working toward resolving conflicts, peaceably
Can prove to be a step-by-step process
I choose to muster the stamina necessary to
Focus my energy source on making good use of
Leadership skills in hopes of redirecting
A heated discussion toward change for the better by
Identifying which of my natural reactions are in need of
Taming, and by maintaining control over my think tank
I free my smarts to redirect
Negatively focused attitudes toward engaging in
Solution-seeking discussions that make sense to both sides
Needless to say, leading a hot headed group away from
Turning into an angry gang that attacks my best character traits
Nonsensically suggests that I muster the patience to
Listen attentively and respond proactively rather than
Reacting so angrily as to fling back
Insults defensively rather than choosing my words, carefully
And as I continue to gain insight into the opposing forces that
Vie for control over my attitudes, common sense guides me
To deepen my respect for those who seek to improve their
Lives by adhering to this deeper truth:
The only person whose defensiveness
I can tame is my own, and if you ask how this slice of
Time tested knowledge inspires me to
Change my life for the better, I'd reply:
While conscientiously moving through these
Last two decades of mental transition
I've worked to tame my own basic instinct, which
Naturally leans toward attacking when attacked, and
In addition to that change for the better, here's another:
Over these past two decades, my cup is much more than
Half full of friends who are not afraid to acknowledge that
Their egos are in need of taming, because
Both sides of human nature, which exist within us, all
Vie for control over each person's brain, and
As that deeper truth includes you and me, we'd be wise
To come together, hold hands and enjoy life, side by side
Change for the better by consciously choosing to
think smart iover thinking defensively
Please think again, because deeper truth suggests need to call upon
My Line of Control each time a person's defensive stance
Blows so much hot wind in my face as to trigger
My survival instinct, which naturally longs to
Free my tongue to lash hotly back ...
Each time I consciously place my ego in time out, I can respond to
A put down in a kind, clear, self disciplined manner, suggesting
My ability to voice my truth calmly and clearly while
Carefully making my way through
One emotional mine field after another, and
In this way does my intelligence carve a path that
Inspires those, who do not fear self discovery
To follow my lead into The Promised land, where open minds
Resolve conflicts by embracing The Game of Win-Win over
Power struggling until such time as conflict resolution
Culminates in peace of mind, all around ...
As working toward resolving conflicts, peaceably
Can prove to be a step-by-step process
I choose to muster the stamina necessary to
Focus my energy source on making good use of
Leadership skills in hopes of redirecting
A heated discussion toward change for the better by
Identifying which of my natural reactions are in need of
Taming, and by maintaining control over my think tank
I free my smarts to redirect
Negatively focused attitudes toward engaging in
Solution-seeking discussions that make sense to both sides
Needless to say, leading a hot headed group away from
Turning into an angry gang that attacks my best character traits
Nonsensically suggests that I muster the patience to
Listen attentively and respond proactively rather than
Reacting so angrily as to fling back
Insults defensively rather than choosing my words, carefully
And as I continue to gain insight into the opposing forces that
Vie for control over my attitudes, common sense guides me
To deepen my respect for those who seek to improve their
Lives by adhering to this deeper truth:
The only person whose defensiveness
I can tame is my own, and if you ask how this slice of
Time tested knowledge inspires me to
Change my life for the better, I'd reply:
While conscientiously moving through these
Last two decades of mental transition
I've worked to tame my own basic instinct, which
Naturally leans toward attacking when attacked, and
In addition to that change for the better, here's another:
Over these past two decades, my cup is much more than
Half full of friends who are not afraid to acknowledge that
Their egos are in need of taming, because
Both sides of human nature, which exist within us, all
Vie for control over each person's brain, and
As that deeper truth includes you and me, we'd be wise
To come together, hold hands and enjoy life, side by side
Thursday, March 12, 2015
1271 FRUSTRATION MAY RUN DEEPER THAN YOU CONSCIOUSLY KNOW ...
2015
After reading a comment that one of you sent to me, privately, I requested permission to share this reader's perception with you:
I absolutely don't tire of your repeating the same insights, because with each reading, different thoughts click with my own. Maybe it comes down to readiness and whatever else is going on at the time, but I always get something new out of each post you write. There are conversations I have now where I feel frustrated but am better able to understand what's behind that frustration. I've learned to look deeper from you. Thank you!
Hindsight suggests that during the traumatic aftermath of my baby sister's death, it seemed safer for three year old me to silence my voice whenever my parents' perceptions differed from my own; however, several decades after leaving childhood behind, I had an experience that jumpstarted my need to develop the self assertive portion of my voice.
This experience challenged me to muster the courage to expand the narrow channel of my comfort zone, which freed me to make sound use of my voice to express my truth, repeatedly, and here's how that change for the better came to be: While transitioning through this painful period of personal growth, I found that my silence allowed a group of insecure minds to spread gossip about me, based in false beliefs, which, upon being passed forward as facts, offered this group of people, who had claimed to be my friends, an open highway toward disparaging my personal strengths.
As deep seated feelings of betrayal almost drove me crazy—we can glance back at the very first post I ever penned to see that during this desperately vulnerable time, the depth of my confusion, loneliness and despair offered me reason to dive, head first, into the deep end of self discovery in hopes of understanding how my well ordered life shattered as fast as a flock of birds scatter when a shot of deeper truth is fired into the air, and though the unexpected nature of betrayal knocked my spirit flat, here's what I came to see, over time: The feeding frenzy that disparaged my strengths offeref me reason to seek insight into defining the term 'frienemy'. And over these past twenty years, insight into both sides of human nature have offer my intelligence reason to boost my sense of self respect, repeatedly. In fact, each time a new string of insights offers me reason to understand why an insecure mind may feed the need to put my hard won strengths down, I challenge those very strengths to pick myself up, dust myself off and place my ego aside in hopes of making sound use of my whole think tank to re-evaluate my relationship, not only with that 'frienemy', but also with myself.
In keeping with challenging myself to grow in self respectful ways throughout every stage of life, let's take note of this fact: At this point in my development, silencing my voice feels more stressful than fear of provoking the ire of another by speaking up for myself. In short, I no longer sell myself short by shoving an issue that's in need of open discussion under the rug until that which had been naught but a molehill grows to be a mountain range, made up of too many treacherous twists and turns to focus my mind upon the path that offers my spirit a series of heartfelt adventure into the great unknown. And in keeping with thoughts of creating change for the better by giving voice to the courage of my convictions, let's paraphrase from today's paper:
What one person considers direct, honest and necessary, another person may consider blunt, rude and hurtful. Test your audience before choosing your communication style ...
It will be helpful to know about the past, because this will provide a rich context for the leap of faith you are longing to make, right now ...
The one who imparts a forceful and persistent vision will change the direction of a group—making me ask: Does your attitude impart negativity (leading to separation) or positive focus, which deepens your sense of connection, not only to others but more importantly, to embracing both sides of yourself?
Just remember—without challenges there are no adventures
You don't have to earn your worthiness—you were born with it
You'll do the things that make you nervous. Don't bother calming yourself, because the nerves are precisely what will help people drop their defenses and relate to you on a human level (Hmmm! That one offers me food for thought ...)
This year, you'll be the sunshine in those lives that need it. As your passion amplifies, you'll be most persuasive, so apply your passion to creating something BIG! Though you involve yourself in what seems to be a risky opportunity, the odds are definitely in your favor
And with these horoscopes (which seem a lot like insights) flying around inside my mind, I'll ready myself to enjoy another five star day with our dear friends from Seattle, while hoping that you are enjoying the same!
Your friend,
Annie
After reading a comment that one of you sent to me, privately, I requested permission to share this reader's perception with you:
I absolutely don't tire of your repeating the same insights, because with each reading, different thoughts click with my own. Maybe it comes down to readiness and whatever else is going on at the time, but I always get something new out of each post you write. There are conversations I have now where I feel frustrated but am better able to understand what's behind that frustration. I've learned to look deeper from you. Thank you!
Hindsight suggests that during the traumatic aftermath of my baby sister's death, it seemed safer for three year old me to silence my voice whenever my parents' perceptions differed from my own; however, several decades after leaving childhood behind, I had an experience that jumpstarted my need to develop the self assertive portion of my voice.
This experience challenged me to muster the courage to expand the narrow channel of my comfort zone, which freed me to make sound use of my voice to express my truth, repeatedly, and here's how that change for the better came to be: While transitioning through this painful period of personal growth, I found that my silence allowed a group of insecure minds to spread gossip about me, based in false beliefs, which, upon being passed forward as facts, offered this group of people, who had claimed to be my friends, an open highway toward disparaging my personal strengths.
As deep seated feelings of betrayal almost drove me crazy—we can glance back at the very first post I ever penned to see that during this desperately vulnerable time, the depth of my confusion, loneliness and despair offered me reason to dive, head first, into the deep end of self discovery in hopes of understanding how my well ordered life shattered as fast as a flock of birds scatter when a shot of deeper truth is fired into the air, and though the unexpected nature of betrayal knocked my spirit flat, here's what I came to see, over time: The feeding frenzy that disparaged my strengths offeref me reason to seek insight into defining the term 'frienemy'. And over these past twenty years, insight into both sides of human nature have offer my intelligence reason to boost my sense of self respect, repeatedly. In fact, each time a new string of insights offers me reason to understand why an insecure mind may feed the need to put my hard won strengths down, I challenge those very strengths to pick myself up, dust myself off and place my ego aside in hopes of making sound use of my whole think tank to re-evaluate my relationship, not only with that 'frienemy', but also with myself.
In keeping with challenging myself to grow in self respectful ways throughout every stage of life, let's take note of this fact: At this point in my development, silencing my voice feels more stressful than fear of provoking the ire of another by speaking up for myself. In short, I no longer sell myself short by shoving an issue that's in need of open discussion under the rug until that which had been naught but a molehill grows to be a mountain range, made up of too many treacherous twists and turns to focus my mind upon the path that offers my spirit a series of heartfelt adventure into the great unknown. And in keeping with thoughts of creating change for the better by giving voice to the courage of my convictions, let's paraphrase from today's paper:
What one person considers direct, honest and necessary, another person may consider blunt, rude and hurtful. Test your audience before choosing your communication style ...
It will be helpful to know about the past, because this will provide a rich context for the leap of faith you are longing to make, right now ...
The one who imparts a forceful and persistent vision will change the direction of a group—making me ask: Does your attitude impart negativity (leading to separation) or positive focus, which deepens your sense of connection, not only to others but more importantly, to embracing both sides of yourself?
Just remember—without challenges there are no adventures
You don't have to earn your worthiness—you were born with it
You'll do the things that make you nervous. Don't bother calming yourself, because the nerves are precisely what will help people drop their defenses and relate to you on a human level (Hmmm! That one offers me food for thought ...)
This year, you'll be the sunshine in those lives that need it. As your passion amplifies, you'll be most persuasive, so apply your passion to creating something BIG! Though you involve yourself in what seems to be a risky opportunity, the odds are definitely in your favor
And with these horoscopes (which seem a lot like insights) flying around inside my mind, I'll ready myself to enjoy another five star day with our dear friends from Seattle, while hoping that you are enjoying the same!
Your friend,
Annie
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