Just as I'd once read my sons bedtime stories to tuck them in, lovingly, night after night, now I've been reading recent posts aloud, one by one, to offer my husband reason to chuckle before we turn off the light, and last night, he made a comment that caught me by surprise:
Annie, you remember the facts, concerning our decision-making processes, but your memory has mixed up the order of which car was purchased when. And when Will withdrew proof from his memory bank as to where my memory's wires had crossed, I came to see, again, how two heads are better than one when attitudes on both sides ride out on open minded wave lengths, thus offering two people countless opportunities to brain storm toward clarity by listening attentively (rather than dismissively or defensively) to one another's trains of thought until forgotten details offer insight into bigger pictures and as fuzziness clears, conflicts resolve. :)
As for straightening out my crossed wires for you, here's what seems most prudent to me: In the interest of moving my tale forward, I'll not back track, at this time. Instead, I'll allow each of those cars to settle into its proper place in family stories that have yet to unfold. :)
Suffice to say, that during moments fraught with conflict, memory fails to be 100% accurate for several reasons, and here's an example of one: Though we may share many of the same experiences, your mind may find reason to concentrate on my reaction while mine concentrates on yours—meaning that in the absence of self awareness, you may have seen yourself as a victim where, in truth, pain was felt by both, suggesting that unresolved conflict creates mass confusion until such time as we both dive so deep into the distant past that missing puzzle pieces emerge, and bigger pictures begin to shape up. Then, as
bigger pictures come into view, clarity may widen our scope, allowing both sides to 'see' that, in truth, no villainy or malice existed on either side ...
PS
Before moving my story forward, it seems important to mention that
I've learned not to listen, indefinitely, when a problem, belonging to others, continues to cycle round, year after year, because eventually my brain rebels when forced to listen to negativity, starting out small, escalating to such overwhelming proportions that common sense seems lost on both sides—Or, here's another sad scenerio: What can be sadder than watching love being ambushed by angst, because one side has been absorbing insight in conflict resolution while the other side has not?
Either way, common sense suggests that when a problem, which is not mine, causes tension to heighten at the same time that an unrelated crises has come knocking at my door, you can expect me to consciously extricate my energy source from being attentive to your escalating tensions, suggesting that I am hopeful that my loved ones will have the presence of mind to consider this train of thought: I've had sound reason to learn to respect my spirit's need to re-energize itself in the company of those who problem solve in positively focused, well balanced ways, so though my think tank may choose to be quiet, my heart hopes that both sides will find their way toward conflict resolution, so that with time, pain, which filters down from one generation to the next, heals, through and through, all around.
In future posts, stories, concerning 'problem ownership', are sure to appear on your screen :)
Annie, you remember the facts, concerning our decision-making processes, but your memory has mixed up the order of which car was purchased when. And when Will withdrew proof from his memory bank as to where my memory's wires had crossed, I came to see, again, how two heads are better than one when attitudes on both sides ride out on open minded wave lengths, thus offering two people countless opportunities to brain storm toward clarity by listening attentively (rather than dismissively or defensively) to one another's trains of thought until forgotten details offer insight into bigger pictures and as fuzziness clears, conflicts resolve. :)
As for straightening out my crossed wires for you, here's what seems most prudent to me: In the interest of moving my tale forward, I'll not back track, at this time. Instead, I'll allow each of those cars to settle into its proper place in family stories that have yet to unfold. :)
Suffice to say, that during moments fraught with conflict, memory fails to be 100% accurate for several reasons, and here's an example of one: Though we may share many of the same experiences, your mind may find reason to concentrate on my reaction while mine concentrates on yours—meaning that in the absence of self awareness, you may have seen yourself as a victim where, in truth, pain was felt by both, suggesting that unresolved conflict creates mass confusion until such time as we both dive so deep into the distant past that missing puzzle pieces emerge, and bigger pictures begin to shape up. Then, as
bigger pictures come into view, clarity may widen our scope, allowing both sides to 'see' that, in truth, no villainy or malice existed on either side ...
PS
Before moving my story forward, it seems important to mention that
I've learned not to listen, indefinitely, when a problem, belonging to others, continues to cycle round, year after year, because eventually my brain rebels when forced to listen to negativity, starting out small, escalating to such overwhelming proportions that common sense seems lost on both sides—Or, here's another sad scenerio: What can be sadder than watching love being ambushed by angst, because one side has been absorbing insight in conflict resolution while the other side has not?
Either way, common sense suggests that when a problem, which is not mine, causes tension to heighten at the same time that an unrelated crises has come knocking at my door, you can expect me to consciously extricate my energy source from being attentive to your escalating tensions, suggesting that I am hopeful that my loved ones will have the presence of mind to consider this train of thought: I've had sound reason to learn to respect my spirit's need to re-energize itself in the company of those who problem solve in positively focused, well balanced ways, so though my think tank may choose to be quiet, my heart hopes that both sides will find their way toward conflict resolution, so that with time, pain, which filters down from one generation to the next, heals, through and through, all around.
In future posts, stories, concerning 'problem ownership', are sure to appear on your screen :)
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