Before revealing my simple car-buying plan which
Answered needs, all around, I'd like to say this:
Though I knew myself to be Will's equal partner in life
I did not feel equal, for this reason
What I know to be true is one thing ...
What I feel about what I know is another
For example:
I know that if we light every candle on my birthday cake
We'd set the house afire—suggesting I know this to be
The fourth stage of my life, but—regardless of what I know ...
I feel young
Though I knew myself to be my husband's equal partner in life
I'd stopped feeling his equal each time
We'd discuss how best to apportion our money after
We'd decided that I'd be a full time mom
Once I stopped feeling like my husband's equal partner
My preference for this or that tended to
Submit to his preference so often that, over time
The independent nature of my spirit built up
A sense of silent resistance ...
Suffice to say that this sense of imbalance had not been true when
Will was a hard working med student and
I was a gainfully employed, bread winning teacher ...
Though Will had earned no income, back then
Our partnership felt equal to both ...
So, if at that time when we'd switched roles, you'd asked
Annie, what caused those feelings to change, I'd have replied ...
I don't know ... However, if asked that question, today, I'd say ...
Patience my friends, that insight will emerge on another day
All I need to say about that switch, today, is this:
As a stay at home mom, everyone knew I was
Gainfully employed from dawn to dawn, but
Very few considered me to be a working mom
Because, unfortunately, we tend to believe that work and income
Go hand in hand, when in truth
There's no work more demanding of a smart heart than
Raising children joyfully, responsibly and effectively while
At the same time running a home as efficiently as
A successful business—and
If that combination doesn't equate with working at
Gainful employment—sans financial gain—I don't know what does!
Sooo—the fact that I'd chosen to
Return to the work force, part time when
David was learning to walk, offered
My think tank an opportunity to spotlight
A simple plan for what to do with my income, and
Since my husband agreed with my reasoning
We adopted a plan that accomplished two goals:
I restored my sense of equality, thus easing resentment away, and
I began to make fiscal decisions independent of the concept of
'Two heads are better than one', suggesting that
When I'd feel like making a purchase that Will felt unnecessary
I'd garnered the freedom to make that decision
Free of conflict or undeserved guilt, and
Thus did I come up with creative ideas
That surprised our family and lifted spirits, all around
And if you'd like to know how I presented my plan to make
Decisions independent of discussion with the head of the house
Well, here's the train of thought that made sense to us both:
Fortunately, we don't need my salary to pay the bills
(Will knew that part time teachers earned bubpkas)
Since my primary reason for working part time
Is for love of what I do rather than contributing to our income ...
Here's what I'd like to do with 'found money' ...
I'd like to stash whatever I earn into an account, which will
Offer me opportunities to make unilateral decisions
Whenever your mindset and mine are in conflict about
Investing cash in whatever seems to me to be
In the best interest of our family as a whole
And since our family's official bread winner found no fault
With the 'little woman's' reasoning powers
Will agreed ...
And thus was Annie's pushkie born :)
PS
It's a well known fact that
The minds of little monkey faces
Absorb certain traits from one parent
And different traits from the other, and ...
Since my mom had a pushkie—and since
I'd had reason to develop into
An observant, obdient female child, raised in the fifties ...
My mind zero'd in on the wisdom of my mother's choice to feel
A bit less dependent on my father's decisions
By placing a bit of her weekly allowance, quietly aside
In the aftermath of my sister Janet's frightening death—
I'd had sound reason to grow ever more observant and
Obedient to a fault at the vulnerable age of three
Why?
Well, after my sister's death
I found myself wandering in a maze of darkness
Feeling fearfully overwhelmed and alone ...
So, all someone had to do was to shine a smile
In my direction and you can believe me when I say that
I'd felt so relieved as to developed a strong need to
Agree with most anyone to most anything in hopes of
Ensuring that I did not cause
The smiles of loved ones to turn upside down ...
And thus did a sparkling, young maid
Develop into my husband's 'perfect' little wife—
On the other hand, serious illness in Will's childhood home offered
My husband little reason to feel joyful while growing toward adulthood
And since opposites attract, we fell in love and
Thus did he and I unwittingly create a home life, where—
Winning Will's smile meant everything to Annie, who'd
Grown up as frighted of frowns as fright can be ...
So during those rare times when my spirit-voice
Felt sound reason to stand its ground and
Express my need, thus creating conflict, right out loud ...
Well, nothing could have shocked my menfolk as much as
My feeling the need to put my foot down in
That Honda showroom ... and
Since I continued to stand my ground and
Voice my concerns, again, during our
King Arthur's round table discussion that evening at dinner—
Well, you can imagine how strong was your friend, Annie's need
To know and feel that both sides of her mind had conjoined into
A whole common-sensical-thinking machine, because
By this time in her life, this teacher of children
Whose brain had designed
Countless creative problem-solving plans, kept zero'ing in on
Her well practiced ability to brainstorm aloud in hopes of
Providing safe passage from childhood to adulthood for
All three of her precious young sons ...
And as a simple, car-purchasing plan finally crystalized
Within her minds eye
Here's the bright light of insight that
Flew out of Annie's mouth, which created pure joy, all around, on
That day when the strength of her spirit-voice put the kabash on
Her men folk's choice to purchase a car that she, who'd
Awakened in intensive care after a serious crash, did not feel safe:
What if I contribute
A portion of my teaching stash to choosing a larger, safer car?
Gosh! Why didn't that idea occur to me, before?
Perhaps the answer to question is this:
I'd never had thousands of dollars placed in a stash of my own!
Gosh! How simple it is to resolve family strife when
A missing puzzle piece, which you'd forgotten to consider—
Flies out of your think tank—thank good-news—at last!
You can believe me when I say that upon hearing this
Missing puzzle piece fly out of my mouth—
Five joyful minds leaped onto the band wagon—
Cheering right out loud! :)
I mean, you could almost hear fived minds break into song—
Tooomorrow, tooomorrow—it's only a day aaawayyy :)
As the next day dawned bright and sunny, Will and I beamed to see our three muskateers shoot out of that Honda dealership, safely strapped into a brand, new, sleek, silver bullet, more commonly called an—Accord—and you might recall that a few posts back, I'd hinted, tongue in cheek, that the word 'accord' was bound to pop up, again :)
And now let's pause for a word from our sponser:
If you choose to spend time with Annie, day after day ...
Suggesting that her true stories, pulsing with simple problem-solving plans, may provide families with safe passage to detour away from divorce court toward building leadership rapport in home after home, thus ensuring that the sanctity of family life remains intact—and if you agree that the internet provides us with the best choice of vehicle to transport Annie's creative, proactive plans, world wide—and if you'd like to assist Annie's grass roots goal to increase followers from thousands to millions—and if you, like me, are amazed to know that Annie's proactive, solution seeking plans are already being read in 76 nations and counting—then may I count on you to reach out to friends and family in hopes that they'll read my stories and trains of thought and insight in conflict resolution, thus supporting a heartfelt, global effort to teach solution-seeking tools to parents and children by way of diseminating simple, problem-solving plans, which provide for peaceful co-existence from home-to-home throughout towns and cities and from nation to nation, knowing that, generally speaking, life improves by way of becoming personally involved in continuing education?
You see, I ferverently feel that the ultimate goal of achieving world peace begins with inspiring the spirit of future leadership to absorb a sense for listening to each other's needs during open minded discussions that take place when both genders and all ages learn how to engage in peaceful negotiations each time conflict erupts—first in our homes—and then beyond :)
Common sense suggests that tools adopted by both genders at all ages, at home, guide us toward building homes for future generations, which follow in parental footsteps more closely than we know.
And having satisfied my need to clarify that string of insights, today ...
Tomorrow's post will see a brand, new conflict erupt, soon after our clan of five
Signs on the dotted line and the Accord is ours, at last ... because conflict proves to be synonymous with change, and change is the only constant in life :)
Answered needs, all around, I'd like to say this:
Though I knew myself to be Will's equal partner in life
I did not feel equal, for this reason
What I know to be true is one thing ...
What I feel about what I know is another
For example:
I know that if we light every candle on my birthday cake
We'd set the house afire—suggesting I know this to be
The fourth stage of my life, but—regardless of what I know ...
I feel young
Though I knew myself to be my husband's equal partner in life
I'd stopped feeling his equal each time
We'd discuss how best to apportion our money after
We'd decided that I'd be a full time mom
Once I stopped feeling like my husband's equal partner
My preference for this or that tended to
Submit to his preference so often that, over time
The independent nature of my spirit built up
A sense of silent resistance ...
Suffice to say that this sense of imbalance had not been true when
Will was a hard working med student and
I was a gainfully employed, bread winning teacher ...
Though Will had earned no income, back then
Our partnership felt equal to both ...
So, if at that time when we'd switched roles, you'd asked
Annie, what caused those feelings to change, I'd have replied ...
I don't know ... However, if asked that question, today, I'd say ...
Patience my friends, that insight will emerge on another day
All I need to say about that switch, today, is this:
As a stay at home mom, everyone knew I was
Gainfully employed from dawn to dawn, but
Very few considered me to be a working mom
Because, unfortunately, we tend to believe that work and income
Go hand in hand, when in truth
There's no work more demanding of a smart heart than
Raising children joyfully, responsibly and effectively while
At the same time running a home as efficiently as
A successful business—and
If that combination doesn't equate with working at
Gainful employment—sans financial gain—I don't know what does!
Sooo—the fact that I'd chosen to
Return to the work force, part time when
David was learning to walk, offered
My think tank an opportunity to spotlight
A simple plan for what to do with my income, and
Since my husband agreed with my reasoning
We adopted a plan that accomplished two goals:
I restored my sense of equality, thus easing resentment away, and
I began to make fiscal decisions independent of the concept of
'Two heads are better than one', suggesting that
When I'd feel like making a purchase that Will felt unnecessary
I'd garnered the freedom to make that decision
Free of conflict or undeserved guilt, and
Thus did I come up with creative ideas
That surprised our family and lifted spirits, all around
And if you'd like to know how I presented my plan to make
Decisions independent of discussion with the head of the house
Well, here's the train of thought that made sense to us both:
Fortunately, we don't need my salary to pay the bills
(Will knew that part time teachers earned bubpkas)
Since my primary reason for working part time
Is for love of what I do rather than contributing to our income ...
Here's what I'd like to do with 'found money' ...
I'd like to stash whatever I earn into an account, which will
Offer me opportunities to make unilateral decisions
Whenever your mindset and mine are in conflict about
Investing cash in whatever seems to me to be
In the best interest of our family as a whole
And since our family's official bread winner found no fault
With the 'little woman's' reasoning powers
Will agreed ...
And thus was Annie's pushkie born :)
PS
It's a well known fact that
The minds of little monkey faces
Absorb certain traits from one parent
And different traits from the other, and ...
Since my mom had a pushkie—and since
I'd had reason to develop into
An observant, obdient female child, raised in the fifties ...
My mind zero'd in on the wisdom of my mother's choice to feel
A bit less dependent on my father's decisions
By placing a bit of her weekly allowance, quietly aside
In the aftermath of my sister Janet's frightening death—
I'd had sound reason to grow ever more observant and
Obedient to a fault at the vulnerable age of three
Why?
Well, after my sister's death
I found myself wandering in a maze of darkness
Feeling fearfully overwhelmed and alone ...
So, all someone had to do was to shine a smile
In my direction and you can believe me when I say that
I'd felt so relieved as to developed a strong need to
Agree with most anyone to most anything in hopes of
Ensuring that I did not cause
The smiles of loved ones to turn upside down ...
And thus did a sparkling, young maid
Develop into my husband's 'perfect' little wife—
On the other hand, serious illness in Will's childhood home offered
My husband little reason to feel joyful while growing toward adulthood
And since opposites attract, we fell in love and
Thus did he and I unwittingly create a home life, where—
Winning Will's smile meant everything to Annie, who'd
Grown up as frighted of frowns as fright can be ...
So during those rare times when my spirit-voice
Felt sound reason to stand its ground and
Express my need, thus creating conflict, right out loud ...
Well, nothing could have shocked my menfolk as much as
My feeling the need to put my foot down in
That Honda showroom ... and
Since I continued to stand my ground and
Voice my concerns, again, during our
King Arthur's round table discussion that evening at dinner—
Well, you can imagine how strong was your friend, Annie's need
To know and feel that both sides of her mind had conjoined into
A whole common-sensical-thinking machine, because
By this time in her life, this teacher of children
Whose brain had designed
Countless creative problem-solving plans, kept zero'ing in on
Her well practiced ability to brainstorm aloud in hopes of
Providing safe passage from childhood to adulthood for
All three of her precious young sons ...
And as a simple, car-purchasing plan finally crystalized
Within her minds eye
Here's the bright light of insight that
Flew out of Annie's mouth, which created pure joy, all around, on
That day when the strength of her spirit-voice put the kabash on
Her men folk's choice to purchase a car that she, who'd
Awakened in intensive care after a serious crash, did not feel safe:
What if I contribute
A portion of my teaching stash to choosing a larger, safer car?
Gosh! Why didn't that idea occur to me, before?
Perhaps the answer to question is this:
I'd never had thousands of dollars placed in a stash of my own!
Gosh! How simple it is to resolve family strife when
A missing puzzle piece, which you'd forgotten to consider—
Flies out of your think tank—thank good-news—at last!
You can believe me when I say that upon hearing this
Missing puzzle piece fly out of my mouth—
Five joyful minds leaped onto the band wagon—
Cheering right out loud! :)
I mean, you could almost hear fived minds break into song—
Tooomorrow, tooomorrow—it's only a day aaawayyy :)
As the next day dawned bright and sunny, Will and I beamed to see our three muskateers shoot out of that Honda dealership, safely strapped into a brand, new, sleek, silver bullet, more commonly called an—Accord—and you might recall that a few posts back, I'd hinted, tongue in cheek, that the word 'accord' was bound to pop up, again :)
And now let's pause for a word from our sponser:
If you choose to spend time with Annie, day after day ...
Suggesting that her true stories, pulsing with simple problem-solving plans, may provide families with safe passage to detour away from divorce court toward building leadership rapport in home after home, thus ensuring that the sanctity of family life remains intact—and if you agree that the internet provides us with the best choice of vehicle to transport Annie's creative, proactive plans, world wide—and if you'd like to assist Annie's grass roots goal to increase followers from thousands to millions—and if you, like me, are amazed to know that Annie's proactive, solution seeking plans are already being read in 76 nations and counting—then may I count on you to reach out to friends and family in hopes that they'll read my stories and trains of thought and insight in conflict resolution, thus supporting a heartfelt, global effort to teach solution-seeking tools to parents and children by way of diseminating simple, problem-solving plans, which provide for peaceful co-existence from home-to-home throughout towns and cities and from nation to nation, knowing that, generally speaking, life improves by way of becoming personally involved in continuing education?
You see, I ferverently feel that the ultimate goal of achieving world peace begins with inspiring the spirit of future leadership to absorb a sense for listening to each other's needs during open minded discussions that take place when both genders and all ages learn how to engage in peaceful negotiations each time conflict erupts—first in our homes—and then beyond :)
Common sense suggests that tools adopted by both genders at all ages, at home, guide us toward building homes for future generations, which follow in parental footsteps more closely than we know.
And having satisfied my need to clarify that string of insights, today ...
Tomorrow's post will see a brand, new conflict erupt, soon after our clan of five
Signs on the dotted line and the Accord is ours, at last ... because conflict proves to be synonymous with change, and change is the only constant in life :)
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