I can feel my mind beginning to process through some aspect of change, again. A lasting change, leading toward personal growth. How do I know? Simply put, I sense it.
A glance through my history, suggests that lasting change takes place when a confusing situation sits on my spirit long enough for a crack to form in my wall of denial, and upon peering through that crack, I get a clear view of reality beckoning me to recognize a vulnerability in need of shoring up. If, upon further consideration that vulnerability proves mine, I check into which mindset needs reorganizing. If the vulnerability seems not to be mine, two choices arise: Do I invest time, energy and hope for positive change by attempting to awaken another to my awareness, or do I begin to carve out a new and challenging path for myself that differs from one that's proven unsuccessful, multiple times?
Regardless of which path I choose, this much I know ... both will offer me passage into the great unknown, meaning that neither will prove easy. So first thing I do is take a time out to rest my mind and reset my emotional compass in hopes of formulating a plan that will make good use of whatever inner strengths my think tank has already absorbed. Then, in order to best contemplate my next move on the chess game of life, I glance over the board.
If hope of retaining a relationship of great value remains strong, I encourage my spirit to stand up, inject vulnerability with self trust and forge ahead on the same path as before. If insight into past defeat suggests that my noggin's been knocking against a firmly locked door, over long, I straighten my self respecting thinking cap, leave a calling card under the mat and make the painful but necessary choice to take control over that aspect of my life differently than before. And if there is pain, I console my sense of loss by hanging my hat onto this classic truth ... No pain no gain.
In a nutshell, today's train of thought leads straight toward this stream of insights:
Since values and traits correlate then
Here is sound reason why both may be in need of review ...
Subscribing to a set of values offers up a conventional life
A conventional life may limit personal growth
Each time I feel the need to grow past a value set in place
Long before I had a chance to think in depth, for myself
I suffer pain before gain—that's a given
In order to suffer less, my comfort zone,
Concerning feeling alone, needs time to expand
Once I'm okay with feeling alone, an old mind set
Which serves as a protective wall surrounding
My conventional life within a false sense of safety
Begins to crack
And upon peering through that crack in the wall
Lo and Behold, I spy a fork in the road that my value system
Had not allowed me to so much as contemplate, ever before
Each time courage choses the road less taken over shrinking back in fear
I've walked a path toward developing personal strengths, which
Mother Nature designed to climb over or under or around any wall
That's kept my spirit caged inside a place that
Felt too cramped for my own good ... most especially
Any place where heavy handed leadership frowns upon rocking boats
And if that's not a classic truth, I'll eat my hat :)
Once personal experience deems values, passed down from previous generations, to merit reconsideration, priorities and personal traits may find sound reason to change. For example, providing for another person's sense of emotional safety will not outweigh my spirit's need to thrive, ever again.
This newfound ability to re-evaluate and re-adjust my comfort zones, value systems, personal strengths and priorities deems me self aware rather than selfish—that being too harsh a judgment for one known to demonstrate more thought for the welfare of others than my own. Though giving of oneself is good, giving till mind hurts and strong spirit wears thin is not.
At this point, I'd like to thank my friends whose love and support mean more than words can convey ... most especially two friends, I've never met, both of whom perch on my shoulders, bearing witness to decisions made by my moral compass at times when life feels as stormy as a tornado, sticky as flypaper, abrasive as sand paper, confusing as how to hold onto a hot potato till clarity cools an explosive issue down, you get my drift ...
Those two friends, whom I've never met, go by these names ... Jiminy, who keeps my mind humble and honest, concerning the reality of human vulnerability and Socrates, whose spirit hovers close to mine, whispering of my need to know myself well enough to wrestle a fearful mindset to the mat and spy that fork in the road whenever an unexpected change causes life to grow so confusing, so complex, that the path toward wisdom clouds up, and I feel as dazed as if my mind's stumbled into a maze ...
A glance through my history, suggests that lasting change takes place when a confusing situation sits on my spirit long enough for a crack to form in my wall of denial, and upon peering through that crack, I get a clear view of reality beckoning me to recognize a vulnerability in need of shoring up. If, upon further consideration that vulnerability proves mine, I check into which mindset needs reorganizing. If the vulnerability seems not to be mine, two choices arise: Do I invest time, energy and hope for positive change by attempting to awaken another to my awareness, or do I begin to carve out a new and challenging path for myself that differs from one that's proven unsuccessful, multiple times?
Regardless of which path I choose, this much I know ... both will offer me passage into the great unknown, meaning that neither will prove easy. So first thing I do is take a time out to rest my mind and reset my emotional compass in hopes of formulating a plan that will make good use of whatever inner strengths my think tank has already absorbed. Then, in order to best contemplate my next move on the chess game of life, I glance over the board.
If hope of retaining a relationship of great value remains strong, I encourage my spirit to stand up, inject vulnerability with self trust and forge ahead on the same path as before. If insight into past defeat suggests that my noggin's been knocking against a firmly locked door, over long, I straighten my self respecting thinking cap, leave a calling card under the mat and make the painful but necessary choice to take control over that aspect of my life differently than before. And if there is pain, I console my sense of loss by hanging my hat onto this classic truth ... No pain no gain.
In a nutshell, today's train of thought leads straight toward this stream of insights:
Since values and traits correlate then
Here is sound reason why both may be in need of review ...
Subscribing to a set of values offers up a conventional life
A conventional life may limit personal growth
Each time I feel the need to grow past a value set in place
Long before I had a chance to think in depth, for myself
I suffer pain before gain—that's a given
In order to suffer less, my comfort zone,
Concerning feeling alone, needs time to expand
Once I'm okay with feeling alone, an old mind set
Which serves as a protective wall surrounding
My conventional life within a false sense of safety
Begins to crack
And upon peering through that crack in the wall
Lo and Behold, I spy a fork in the road that my value system
Had not allowed me to so much as contemplate, ever before
Each time courage choses the road less taken over shrinking back in fear
I've walked a path toward developing personal strengths, which
Mother Nature designed to climb over or under or around any wall
That's kept my spirit caged inside a place that
Felt too cramped for my own good ... most especially
Any place where heavy handed leadership frowns upon rocking boats
And if that's not a classic truth, I'll eat my hat :)
Once personal experience deems values, passed down from previous generations, to merit reconsideration, priorities and personal traits may find sound reason to change. For example, providing for another person's sense of emotional safety will not outweigh my spirit's need to thrive, ever again.
This newfound ability to re-evaluate and re-adjust my comfort zones, value systems, personal strengths and priorities deems me self aware rather than selfish—that being too harsh a judgment for one known to demonstrate more thought for the welfare of others than my own. Though giving of oneself is good, giving till mind hurts and strong spirit wears thin is not.
At this point, I'd like to thank my friends whose love and support mean more than words can convey ... most especially two friends, I've never met, both of whom perch on my shoulders, bearing witness to decisions made by my moral compass at times when life feels as stormy as a tornado, sticky as flypaper, abrasive as sand paper, confusing as how to hold onto a hot potato till clarity cools an explosive issue down, you get my drift ...
Those two friends, whom I've never met, go by these names ... Jiminy, who keeps my mind humble and honest, concerning the reality of human vulnerability and Socrates, whose spirit hovers close to mine, whispering of my need to know myself well enough to wrestle a fearful mindset to the mat and spy that fork in the road whenever an unexpected change causes life to grow so confusing, so complex, that the path toward wisdom clouds up, and I feel as dazed as if my mind's stumbled into a maze ...
Oh no! Not again! Yup! Cuz, like it or not ... that's life! :)
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