Though I employed the 'find' feature to scroll through posts, hoping to come upon a story, concerning the first time my children made good use of The Line Of Control, this true tale has not emerged from archives, so in case it has not been penned, I'll write it, right now, for this reason ...
Seeing is believing, which is why I plan to highlight five creative tools that encourage self trust to develop during childhood, when youth emulates much of what their parents do, say and believe. So with that goal in mind, let's get into today's story by setting this scene ...
I am in the kitchen, wearing several hats, mind intent on accomplishing four or five tasks. Nine year old Barry and seven year old Steven, who've been playing peacefully in the backyard, are now deviling each other for no good reason, meaning that nothing good will result from their present interaction.
As strident voice tones signal stress on the rise, I'm about to intervene and ask if they need a time out to calm down when a pan, simmering on the stove, catches my eye, so I stop to attend to that priority before sliding open the glass door which separates my voice of authority from a pair of tussling offspring who constantly seek each other out, suggesting that neither has learned how to live together or apart :)
At any rate, it's good that my intervention is delayed for this reason: While attending to whatever is bubbling on the stove, I hear one young voice begin to chant ... I'm still in control! I'm still in control! As this chant is music to my ears, my spirit smiles. You see, these words suggest that one of two minds has freely chosen to leap from power struggling to self calming, which precedes problem solving :)
Each time a mind grabs hold of The Line of Control, a self disciplined attitude is about to win the day, and here is why that's true: As soon as one of two minds chooses to take an immediate time out on the spot, a combative attitude is cut in half! Then if both voices choose that chant, conflict deflates 100%, proving THE L of C to be a valuable tool when harmony is the number one goal.
Wow! I surmise—as stressful vibes striking my mind transform into pure joy, cartwheeling around—this problem solving tool needs a vehicle with a sound system loud enough to sing its praises round the world :)
As with any tool put to good use, a steady hand is needed to guide productivity all the way home, and as I'm still in control' is riding out on a pitch that's still rising, tis time for leadership to douse flames of frustration, lickety-split ... so switching the burner to off and grabbing an oven mitt, I place the pan on a hot plate, slide open the patio door and glide toward my offspring, intent upon stroking both children with positive reinforcement, thus soothing stress, all around.
Wow! I'm really impressed! Look at you guys!
Though you're both upset about something, you've chosen to switch from fighting words to cooling down on the spot! And here's why that's amazing—
Most adults can't achieve a feat like that!!
As sincerity strikes my kids' minds, I see flashes of anger in two pairs of eyes transform into rays of sunshine in less time than it takes for two heads to spin straight toward mine. And if you ask what inspired such a miraculous change, I'd reply: Instead of feeling berated, both children felt their self esteem pump up with a well earned sense of personal pride—as did mine. At this point, if you ask me to describe self esteem in a word, I'll reply—self trust. :)
You knew I'd get back to the topic of trust, right? I mean let's face facts: Every post written concerning every decision we make throughout our lives is based in some aspect of trust.
For example, let's take this post, describing my children grabbing on to step one of The Line of Control for the very first time: As this story suggests, I trust myself to wear dual hats as both loving mom and knowledgable leader. This story suggests that both children have had good reason to place their trust in authority's ability to blend love with logic. Rather than taking my children to task or taking sides, we three see ourselves as team mates on the same side in this game of Win-Win.
As my stepping into the fray to provide positive reinforcement serves as the second half of step one of The L of C, let's review step one as a whole:
First half of step one of The Line of Control:
One or both children remember to employ a self calming technique by choosing to chant ... I'm still in control
Second half of step one of The Line of Control:
Parent swoops in offering positive reinforcement, raising self esteem, all around :)
As to step two, please stay tuned ... :)
Seeing is believing, which is why I plan to highlight five creative tools that encourage self trust to develop during childhood, when youth emulates much of what their parents do, say and believe. So with that goal in mind, let's get into today's story by setting this scene ...
I am in the kitchen, wearing several hats, mind intent on accomplishing four or five tasks. Nine year old Barry and seven year old Steven, who've been playing peacefully in the backyard, are now deviling each other for no good reason, meaning that nothing good will result from their present interaction.
As strident voice tones signal stress on the rise, I'm about to intervene and ask if they need a time out to calm down when a pan, simmering on the stove, catches my eye, so I stop to attend to that priority before sliding open the glass door which separates my voice of authority from a pair of tussling offspring who constantly seek each other out, suggesting that neither has learned how to live together or apart :)
At any rate, it's good that my intervention is delayed for this reason: While attending to whatever is bubbling on the stove, I hear one young voice begin to chant ... I'm still in control! I'm still in control! As this chant is music to my ears, my spirit smiles. You see, these words suggest that one of two minds has freely chosen to leap from power struggling to self calming, which precedes problem solving :)
Each time a mind grabs hold of The Line of Control, a self disciplined attitude is about to win the day, and here is why that's true: As soon as one of two minds chooses to take an immediate time out on the spot, a combative attitude is cut in half! Then if both voices choose that chant, conflict deflates 100%, proving THE L of C to be a valuable tool when harmony is the number one goal.
Wow! I surmise—as stressful vibes striking my mind transform into pure joy, cartwheeling around—this problem solving tool needs a vehicle with a sound system loud enough to sing its praises round the world :)
As with any tool put to good use, a steady hand is needed to guide productivity all the way home, and as I'm still in control' is riding out on a pitch that's still rising, tis time for leadership to douse flames of frustration, lickety-split ... so switching the burner to off and grabbing an oven mitt, I place the pan on a hot plate, slide open the patio door and glide toward my offspring, intent upon stroking both children with positive reinforcement, thus soothing stress, all around.
Wow! I'm really impressed! Look at you guys!
Though you're both upset about something, you've chosen to switch from fighting words to cooling down on the spot! And here's why that's amazing—
Most adults can't achieve a feat like that!!
As sincerity strikes my kids' minds, I see flashes of anger in two pairs of eyes transform into rays of sunshine in less time than it takes for two heads to spin straight toward mine. And if you ask what inspired such a miraculous change, I'd reply: Instead of feeling berated, both children felt their self esteem pump up with a well earned sense of personal pride—as did mine. At this point, if you ask me to describe self esteem in a word, I'll reply—self trust. :)
You knew I'd get back to the topic of trust, right? I mean let's face facts: Every post written concerning every decision we make throughout our lives is based in some aspect of trust.
For example, let's take this post, describing my children grabbing on to step one of The Line of Control for the very first time: As this story suggests, I trust myself to wear dual hats as both loving mom and knowledgable leader. This story suggests that both children have had good reason to place their trust in authority's ability to blend love with logic. Rather than taking my children to task or taking sides, we three see ourselves as team mates on the same side in this game of Win-Win.
As my stepping into the fray to provide positive reinforcement serves as the second half of step one of The L of C, let's review step one as a whole:
First half of step one of The Line of Control:
One or both children remember to employ a self calming technique by choosing to chant ... I'm still in control
Second half of step one of The Line of Control:
Parent swoops in offering positive reinforcement, raising self esteem, all around :)
As to step two, please stay tuned ... :)
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