Continuing with THE LINE OF CONTROL ...
Once self esteem feels strong, all around, we proceed to step two :)
Uhh ... before describing step two let's absorb a brief review of step one:
One or both children choose to self-calm by chanting ...
I'm still in control
Parent swoops in offering positive reinforcement
As that proved easy, let's move forward :)
Step two of The Line of Control:
With a smile on my face, leadership places an arm around each child and asks: Is there a problem to discuss or can you work this out on your own?
Often times, children come up with a simple solution after calming down. Otherwise, I listen while little peeps take turns clarifying each one's version of what went down. When that's the case, here is what I tend to hear most often:
One says the other is teasing, so as a consequence of being bored, he must be in need of a job—which I have many to hand out :) I mean, if a child can't find something constructive to do, underwear needs folding, socks need matching ... you get my drift, and so do they :)
Or they've begun to fight over a toy, which, consequently, needs to be placed on a closet shelf until one child chooses to embrace generosity of spirit and offers this toy—purchased to bring happiness not tears—to a sibling to play with first. (When consequences offer children reasons to embrace generosity of spirit with good humor, logic tends to sink more readily into their minds. Since they know what to expect in the aftermath of misbehavior, negativity tens to fade with less parental interaction, suggesting that self disciplined thought is taking place inside young minds :)
If hitting, kicking etc. enters into the fray, time out comes into play until an apology is sincerely offered. Older kids write one page letters of apology to each other, which proves to be a great consequence for this reason: The idea of writing a page to a sibling makes most kids think twice before striking out in anger. I mean how often would you want to write a letter to someone who lives in the room right next to yours? In truth, none of my kids had to write those letters more than once. I still have them. Want to know why? They're really funny. :)
If a consequence is ignored, The Cooperation Game ensues (patience, please ... explanation of this tool delayed :)
Please note that as we zip back and forth across the time line of family life, each consequence mentioned will be expanded upon within a story posted down the road. In fact, one day, a story will describe why my mind gave birth to The Line of Control at a time when my wild thing was in need of self discipline :)
At the inception of writing this blog, I'd planned to tell these stories in order, beginning with my birth, however, that proved too plodding a path for my mind. I mean, here I am writing a blog about freeing the mind while mine felt trapped in a cage, tied to such an orderly progression that my natural desire to write choked. So in hopes of expanding my breathing space, I freed my mind to roam, here and there, all over the past. And though this change suits me for now, one day, I may feel the need to rearrange every story into an orderly progression, again. Or maybe that will happen posthumously. Who knows? Regardless of what takes place, here's one thing I can tell you for certain ... I've not suffered writer's block since offering my mind carte blanche :)
Back when today's story took place, I'd been role modeling The L of C as a calming tool for quite a while. In addition to that, both children had come to accept this fact: Ignore a rule, pay a specific consequence. Thus did three minds operate on the same wave length with consistency whenever problem solving proved necessary.
So now that we've witnessed three heads making good use of step one and step two of The Line of Control, let's return to the yard and watch three like-minds proceed to step three :)
Once self esteem feels strong, all around, we proceed to step two :)
Uhh ... before describing step two let's absorb a brief review of step one:
One or both children choose to self-calm by chanting ...
I'm still in control
Parent swoops in offering positive reinforcement
As that proved easy, let's move forward :)
Step two of The Line of Control:
With a smile on my face, leadership places an arm around each child and asks: Is there a problem to discuss or can you work this out on your own?
Often times, children come up with a simple solution after calming down. Otherwise, I listen while little peeps take turns clarifying each one's version of what went down. When that's the case, here is what I tend to hear most often:
One says the other is teasing, so as a consequence of being bored, he must be in need of a job—which I have many to hand out :) I mean, if a child can't find something constructive to do, underwear needs folding, socks need matching ... you get my drift, and so do they :)
Or they've begun to fight over a toy, which, consequently, needs to be placed on a closet shelf until one child chooses to embrace generosity of spirit and offers this toy—purchased to bring happiness not tears—to a sibling to play with first. (When consequences offer children reasons to embrace generosity of spirit with good humor, logic tends to sink more readily into their minds. Since they know what to expect in the aftermath of misbehavior, negativity tens to fade with less parental interaction, suggesting that self disciplined thought is taking place inside young minds :)
If hitting, kicking etc. enters into the fray, time out comes into play until an apology is sincerely offered. Older kids write one page letters of apology to each other, which proves to be a great consequence for this reason: The idea of writing a page to a sibling makes most kids think twice before striking out in anger. I mean how often would you want to write a letter to someone who lives in the room right next to yours? In truth, none of my kids had to write those letters more than once. I still have them. Want to know why? They're really funny. :)
If a consequence is ignored, The Cooperation Game ensues (patience, please ... explanation of this tool delayed :)
Please note that as we zip back and forth across the time line of family life, each consequence mentioned will be expanded upon within a story posted down the road. In fact, one day, a story will describe why my mind gave birth to The Line of Control at a time when my wild thing was in need of self discipline :)
At the inception of writing this blog, I'd planned to tell these stories in order, beginning with my birth, however, that proved too plodding a path for my mind. I mean, here I am writing a blog about freeing the mind while mine felt trapped in a cage, tied to such an orderly progression that my natural desire to write choked. So in hopes of expanding my breathing space, I freed my mind to roam, here and there, all over the past. And though this change suits me for now, one day, I may feel the need to rearrange every story into an orderly progression, again. Or maybe that will happen posthumously. Who knows? Regardless of what takes place, here's one thing I can tell you for certain ... I've not suffered writer's block since offering my mind carte blanche :)
Back when today's story took place, I'd been role modeling The L of C as a calming tool for quite a while. In addition to that, both children had come to accept this fact: Ignore a rule, pay a specific consequence. Thus did three minds operate on the same wave length with consistency whenever problem solving proved necessary.
So now that we've witnessed three heads making good use of step one and step two of The Line of Control, let's return to the yard and watch three like-minds proceed to step three :)
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