No one said turning sink holes into potholes was easy and I agree
Even so, that's what my inner strengths aim to do, today!
And if the first two lines of today's brief post have spun
Your think tank into a swirl of confusion, concerning
My having mentioned the sinister presence of
A sink hole lurking within my subconscious, waiting to swallow
The fuzzy state of my thought processor, whole, then
You'll be glad to note that clarity awaits your arrival if you choose to
Review Post 1465, where insights added, referencing
My think tank's need to control my present level of anxiety, which
My intuitive powers lead me to believe might otherwise
Spike so high as to render my intelligence senseless, suggesting that
If I can't tame the menacing nature of this mysterious sink hole
Then unnamed fear will surely suck the very life out of
My spirit's mindful state of well being unless
My mind's eye conjures up a magic spell so powerful as to
End today's train of thought with visions of my brain's ability to
Shrink this dark, dank sink hole into a pothole, right now!
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
1465 IDENTIFYING BIGGER PICTURES REQUIRES OBJECTIVITY
Having worked with due diligence to 'know myself' in depth
I'd mistakenly perceived that my inner life and outer life matched until
I awoke with today's string of emergent insights directing
My conscious mind to pen this post, which is about to offer
Sound reason as to why my previous belief can't be 100% true:
My brain still compartmentalizes subconscious fears, repressed from
My conscious awareness, leading to my harboring
A sense of mental conflict in which clarity gives way to
An anxious sense of cloudied confusion, and
Each time an uprising of yesteryear's unresolved
Confusion interferes with today's well-earned, personal sense of
Peaceful contentment, I have need to consciously appreciate
My having had the good sense to embark upon
A life-long quest to identify (and heal my brain) from bouts of
PTSD by way of participating in EMDR therapy, which strengthens
My intelligence's ability to tap into insight-laden streams of
Intuitive thought at those times when a resurgence of
Subconscious anxiety, based in deja vu, might otherwise
Shanghai my smarts, bending my will toward treading
The fearful (pessimistic) fork in the road ...
During last week's session of EMDR therapy, we discussed
Objectivity ... however, rather than growing more objectively
Compassionate for the other guy's pain, I acknowledged that
For the most part, my peace of mind depends upon
Reflecting over my life-long need to be less hard on myself ...
Last week, I underwent a minor surgery to excise
A squamous celled carcinoma, and rather than berating myself
When mild anxiety began to heighten, I consciously linked
My original perception of an over reaction to a leakage of
PTSD, concerning a subconscious flashback to my brain surgery of
Fiteen years ago when the depth of my fear of a life-threatening
Tumor was shown to no one, including me, and perhaps
My intuitive need to unrepress the latent nature of that fear
Had subconsciously connected to my earlier fear of
Impending death when a trio of serious surgeries saw me in
Intensive care after a head-on collision with a drunken truck driver
Whose sudden swerve over the double yellow lines into
Our lane on a rainy night, thirty-eight years ago, pinpoints
A double whammy that my power of intuition has surreptiously
Tapped into each time I've felt a surge of unshed tears threaten to
Overwhelm my tremulous smile ever since
This small squamous celled carcinoma was diagnosed ...
So how, you might ask, does today's positively focused attitude save
My think tank from feeling sucked into the rapids of
Yesteryear's repressed anxiety? Well, I consciously remind myself of
My good fortune, concerning these undeniable facts:
The profound nature of that auto accident did not put out my lights
The profound nature of that brain tumor diagnosis did not put out my lights
The profound nature of Takotsubo, simulating a heart attack, did
Not put out my lights, and the fact that the profound nature of
A squamous celled carcinoma was detected, early on during
My semi-annual skin cancer screening, prevented last week's
Mohs surgery from being deeply invasive, suggesting that
My think tank has learned to control mild bouts of anxiety from
Escalating into over-blown reactions, which brings us to
This very moment in time when your friend, Annie, can be seen
Writing in the aftermath of Mohs surgery in hopes of offering
My conscious awareness time to consider what may have caused
My anxiety to rise to the point of swallowing
My (false) pride in favor of asking Will to accompany me to
This minor surgery rather than driving myself as I'd originally planned
And considering the importance of that change in my mindset
(I'd rarely asked for help until I was at the end of my rope)
Let's pinpoint where my conscious sense of personal growth has
Most recently matured: First of all, my defense system did not
Repress the presence of latent anxiety, mounting inside
Secondly, I chose to ask Will for loving support (which
He'd originally offered and I'd good naturedly refused)
Then rather than chastizing myself with undeserved guilt when
My husband cheerfully cancelled his golf game, I nurtured
My vulnerability as compassionately as that of a cherished friend, and
Having taken the time to write today's train of intuitive thought, I can feel
My tremulous smile strengthening, based in my newfound ability to
Equalize the value I've placed upon respecting my needs alongside
My desire to please Will, who proved not to be displeased upon
Cancelling his plans in the least ... Oh! Wow!
Guess what else I just realized?
In addition to acknowledging this most recent leap of faith, confirming
My heightened sense of respect for my self worth ...
Today is the anniversary of my brain surgery ... And once again
All's well that ends well!
(Though the exact date escapes me, my brain surgery took place the morning after Memorial Day ... thus, offering me reason to marvel, again, at self-empowered, intuitive trains of thought, which amaze the conscious portion of my mind with the human brain's innate capability to heal itself of wounds to the psyche, festering subconsciously, behind each person's defensive wall of denial.)
I'd mistakenly perceived that my inner life and outer life matched until
I awoke with today's string of emergent insights directing
My conscious mind to pen this post, which is about to offer
Sound reason as to why my previous belief can't be 100% true:
My brain still compartmentalizes subconscious fears, repressed from
My conscious awareness, leading to my harboring
A sense of mental conflict in which clarity gives way to
An anxious sense of cloudied confusion, and
Each time an uprising of yesteryear's unresolved
Confusion interferes with today's well-earned, personal sense of
Peaceful contentment, I have need to consciously appreciate
My having had the good sense to embark upon
A life-long quest to identify (and heal my brain) from bouts of
PTSD by way of participating in EMDR therapy, which strengthens
My intelligence's ability to tap into insight-laden streams of
Intuitive thought at those times when a resurgence of
Subconscious anxiety, based in deja vu, might otherwise
Shanghai my smarts, bending my will toward treading
The fearful (pessimistic) fork in the road ...
During last week's session of EMDR therapy, we discussed
Objectivity ... however, rather than growing more objectively
Compassionate for the other guy's pain, I acknowledged that
For the most part, my peace of mind depends upon
Reflecting over my life-long need to be less hard on myself ...
Last week, I underwent a minor surgery to excise
A squamous celled carcinoma, and rather than berating myself
When mild anxiety began to heighten, I consciously linked
My original perception of an over reaction to a leakage of
PTSD, concerning a subconscious flashback to my brain surgery of
Fiteen years ago when the depth of my fear of a life-threatening
Tumor was shown to no one, including me, and perhaps
My intuitive need to unrepress the latent nature of that fear
Had subconsciously connected to my earlier fear of
Impending death when a trio of serious surgeries saw me in
Intensive care after a head-on collision with a drunken truck driver
Whose sudden swerve over the double yellow lines into
Our lane on a rainy night, thirty-eight years ago, pinpoints
A double whammy that my power of intuition has surreptiously
Tapped into each time I've felt a surge of unshed tears threaten to
Overwhelm my tremulous smile ever since
This small squamous celled carcinoma was diagnosed ...
So how, you might ask, does today's positively focused attitude save
My think tank from feeling sucked into the rapids of
Yesteryear's repressed anxiety? Well, I consciously remind myself of
My good fortune, concerning these undeniable facts:
The profound nature of that auto accident did not put out my lights
The profound nature of that brain tumor diagnosis did not put out my lights
The profound nature of Takotsubo, simulating a heart attack, did
Not put out my lights, and the fact that the profound nature of
A squamous celled carcinoma was detected, early on during
My semi-annual skin cancer screening, prevented last week's
Mohs surgery from being deeply invasive, suggesting that
My think tank has learned to control mild bouts of anxiety from
Escalating into over-blown reactions, which brings us to
This very moment in time when your friend, Annie, can be seen
Writing in the aftermath of Mohs surgery in hopes of offering
My conscious awareness time to consider what may have caused
My anxiety to rise to the point of swallowing
My (false) pride in favor of asking Will to accompany me to
This minor surgery rather than driving myself as I'd originally planned
And considering the importance of that change in my mindset
(I'd rarely asked for help until I was at the end of my rope)
Let's pinpoint where my conscious sense of personal growth has
Most recently matured: First of all, my defense system did not
Repress the presence of latent anxiety, mounting inside
Secondly, I chose to ask Will for loving support (which
He'd originally offered and I'd good naturedly refused)
Then rather than chastizing myself with undeserved guilt when
My husband cheerfully cancelled his golf game, I nurtured
My vulnerability as compassionately as that of a cherished friend, and
Having taken the time to write today's train of intuitive thought, I can feel
My tremulous smile strengthening, based in my newfound ability to
Equalize the value I've placed upon respecting my needs alongside
My desire to please Will, who proved not to be displeased upon
Cancelling his plans in the least ... Oh! Wow!
Guess what else I just realized?
In addition to acknowledging this most recent leap of faith, confirming
My heightened sense of respect for my self worth ...
Today is the anniversary of my brain surgery ... And once again
All's well that ends well!
(Though the exact date escapes me, my brain surgery took place the morning after Memorial Day ... thus, offering me reason to marvel, again, at self-empowered, intuitive trains of thought, which amaze the conscious portion of my mind with the human brain's innate capability to heal itself of wounds to the psyche, festering subconsciously, behind each person's defensive wall of denial.)
Monday, May 29, 2017
1464 A MEMORIAL DAY REFLECTION
Today, I'm choosing to place personal frustrations aside in favor of reflecting over Memorial Days in years past, for this reason: I'm feeling grateful to have grown up in a country where our flag serves as a national symbol of on-going growth and unification of fifty highly diversified states in which people of all ethnicities continue to seek workable solutions in hopes of outing governmental corruption so as to facilitate legislative action meant to create change for the better, which will serve the greater good of one and all ... and now that our last election has served to reveal the underbelly of our legislature more clearly than ever before, hopefully, the voting populous has taken note of the importance of remaining abreast of current events as we mark our time until our responsibility to vote for candidates, who have historically heeded the needs of the majority, is placed, yet again, in the electorates' eyes-wide-open hands ...
Sunday, May 28, 2017
1463 AN EXERCISE IN SELF SOOTHING ANXIETY
As additional insights were inserted into Post 1462
I awoke, this morning, feeling need to review that post, and
Lo and behold! Guess what happened?
That string of insights strengthened my conscious connection to
Courage, humility and patience, concerning my need to
Unrepress yet another unidentified, self defeating perception, which
Mother Nature thought to block from my conscious awareness until
Recently when I began to sense this unnamed fear, tunneling ever so slowly
Through my subconscious, as though a mild breakthrough of anxiety is
Alerting my intuitive sense of readiness to confront yet another
Self demeaning misperception, concerning my self worth
And here's why I believe today's string of insights will
Lead my intelligence toward spotlighting the wrestling match that's
Taking place inside my head between a haunting, daunting
Childhood fear and my adult certainty that, with self confidence intact
My well-practiced intuitive powers will make sound use of
Courage, patience and positive focus to calm my mild state of
Anxiety BEFORE this repressed fear has even been named:
Rather than wallowing in unknown fear, swirling my smarts ever more
Anxiously through the rapids of this current state of mental complexity
Today's intuitive string of insights has been refocusing
My intelligence toward seeking a specific door in
My wall of denial, behind which lies another fork in the road where
My brain's power to heal itself of this particular unnamed fear
Awaits my arrival, perhaps as soon as tomorrow
And as today's intuitive string of insights has already
Lessened my anxiety, I can actually feel my positively focused attitude
Re-strengthening for this reason: Having made sound use of
My smarts to secure a strong sense of emotional self control
I'm choosing to view this unnamed fear as a pothole in need of
Repair rather than freeing the fearful side of my thought processor to
Imagine yesteryear's black hole of subconscious despair sucking
My present state of well being into the boiling cauldron of
Undeserved guilt, which swallowed up my entire family in
The immediate aftermath of my baby sister, Janet's death, more than
Seventy years ago! And having acknowledged my belief that
Additional insights, inserted into Post 1462, served to
Encourage today's train of thought to pull into this station
Tis time to rest my whole mind until a natural sense of readiness
Draws my think tank toward reviewing and absorbing
These last two posts so deeply into my psyche as to coax
My subconscious to release new strings of insight, which may be
Revealed within my stream of conscious awareness, hopefully, when
Next we meet ... Hmmm ... suddenly I'm wondering if my need to
Release joyous stories was my defense system's egocentric way of
Deflecting my intuitive powers from reflecting
Ever more deeply, over intermittent uprisings of anxiety, which serve as
My brain's way of alerting my conscious awareness to grow attentive to
My need to name and tame yet another subconscious fear that's
Signaling readiness to unrepress ... and once this fear has been uncloaked
Guess what my intuitive sleuth will discover in hand?
A naked vulnerability that's been in need of strengthening ever since
Janet's tragic death caused the natural development of
My innocent, three year old psyche to swerve off course toward
A path, strewn with negatively focused misperceptions, which
Caused more than one aspect of my self worth to feel
So wounded as to have left me gasping for breath, and
Each time one of those festering wounds exhibits readiness to emerge
Guess what accompanies my growing sense of conscious awareness?
The same degree of anxiety, concerning my self worth, which had stymied
My think tank at the age of three—with this caveat: Whereas
A three year old child is utterly inexperienced at navigating around
Emotional sink holes, the experienced adult of today has come to
Place my faith in this tried and true fact: With EMDR therapy serving
As my guiding light, I feel self-confident that my inner detective will
Shine the spotlight of deeper truth upon this particular injury to
My psyche, which having suffered the effects of PTSD, has been
Painfully in need of healing for more than seventy years ... and
Now that today's train of thought has tapped into an intelligent sense of
Self confidence, here's why I believe my current bout of emergent anxiety will
Continue to diminish, no matter how rocky yesteryear's terrain proved to be:
I've worked to empower my smarts to control my anxious visceral reactions by
Visualizing my personal strengths holding steady to the wheel while
The whole of me drives over this pothole that will not suddenly feel like
A sinkhole, waiting to swallow me, as long as most of my think tank feels
Safely seat belted within my adult brain's knowledgeable hands, and
Though I cannot yet clarify where my intuitive powers may be coaxing
My intelligence to go, next, I respect the fact that anxiety suggests moving
Forward with a cautious sense of emotional restraint, because
The steps ahead seem to be beckoning my conscious awareness to
Ready itself to encounter a dark memory, and thus has today's post
Highlighted insight into why I'll not consciously choose to direct
The next lap of my path without being accompanied by
The astute coaching skills of my EMDR therapist ...
"Optimism for me isn't a passive expectation that things will get better. It's a conviction that we can make things better ... if we don't lose hope and we don't look away."
- Melinda Gates
I awoke, this morning, feeling need to review that post, and
Lo and behold! Guess what happened?
That string of insights strengthened my conscious connection to
Courage, humility and patience, concerning my need to
Unrepress yet another unidentified, self defeating perception, which
Mother Nature thought to block from my conscious awareness until
Recently when I began to sense this unnamed fear, tunneling ever so slowly
Through my subconscious, as though a mild breakthrough of anxiety is
Alerting my intuitive sense of readiness to confront yet another
Self demeaning misperception, concerning my self worth
And here's why I believe today's string of insights will
Lead my intelligence toward spotlighting the wrestling match that's
Taking place inside my head between a haunting, daunting
Childhood fear and my adult certainty that, with self confidence intact
My well-practiced intuitive powers will make sound use of
Courage, patience and positive focus to calm my mild state of
Anxiety BEFORE this repressed fear has even been named:
Rather than wallowing in unknown fear, swirling my smarts ever more
Anxiously through the rapids of this current state of mental complexity
Today's intuitive string of insights has been refocusing
My intelligence toward seeking a specific door in
My wall of denial, behind which lies another fork in the road where
My brain's power to heal itself of this particular unnamed fear
Awaits my arrival, perhaps as soon as tomorrow
And as today's intuitive string of insights has already
Lessened my anxiety, I can actually feel my positively focused attitude
Re-strengthening for this reason: Having made sound use of
My smarts to secure a strong sense of emotional self control
I'm choosing to view this unnamed fear as a pothole in need of
Repair rather than freeing the fearful side of my thought processor to
Imagine yesteryear's black hole of subconscious despair sucking
My present state of well being into the boiling cauldron of
Undeserved guilt, which swallowed up my entire family in
The immediate aftermath of my baby sister, Janet's death, more than
Seventy years ago! And having acknowledged my belief that
Additional insights, inserted into Post 1462, served to
Encourage today's train of thought to pull into this station
Tis time to rest my whole mind until a natural sense of readiness
Draws my think tank toward reviewing and absorbing
These last two posts so deeply into my psyche as to coax
My subconscious to release new strings of insight, which may be
Revealed within my stream of conscious awareness, hopefully, when
Next we meet ... Hmmm ... suddenly I'm wondering if my need to
Release joyous stories was my defense system's egocentric way of
Deflecting my intuitive powers from reflecting
Ever more deeply, over intermittent uprisings of anxiety, which serve as
My brain's way of alerting my conscious awareness to grow attentive to
My need to name and tame yet another subconscious fear that's
Signaling readiness to unrepress ... and once this fear has been uncloaked
Guess what my intuitive sleuth will discover in hand?
A naked vulnerability that's been in need of strengthening ever since
Janet's tragic death caused the natural development of
My innocent, three year old psyche to swerve off course toward
A path, strewn with negatively focused misperceptions, which
Caused more than one aspect of my self worth to feel
So wounded as to have left me gasping for breath, and
Each time one of those festering wounds exhibits readiness to emerge
Guess what accompanies my growing sense of conscious awareness?
The same degree of anxiety, concerning my self worth, which had stymied
My think tank at the age of three—with this caveat: Whereas
A three year old child is utterly inexperienced at navigating around
Emotional sink holes, the experienced adult of today has come to
Place my faith in this tried and true fact: With EMDR therapy serving
As my guiding light, I feel self-confident that my inner detective will
Shine the spotlight of deeper truth upon this particular injury to
My psyche, which having suffered the effects of PTSD, has been
Painfully in need of healing for more than seventy years ... and
Now that today's train of thought has tapped into an intelligent sense of
Self confidence, here's why I believe my current bout of emergent anxiety will
Continue to diminish, no matter how rocky yesteryear's terrain proved to be:
I've worked to empower my smarts to control my anxious visceral reactions by
Visualizing my personal strengths holding steady to the wheel while
The whole of me drives over this pothole that will not suddenly feel like
A sinkhole, waiting to swallow me, as long as most of my think tank feels
Safely seat belted within my adult brain's knowledgeable hands, and
Though I cannot yet clarify where my intuitive powers may be coaxing
My intelligence to go, next, I respect the fact that anxiety suggests moving
Forward with a cautious sense of emotional restraint, because
The steps ahead seem to be beckoning my conscious awareness to
Ready itself to encounter a dark memory, and thus has today's post
Highlighted insight into why I'll not consciously choose to direct
The next lap of my path without being accompanied by
The astute coaching skills of my EMDR therapist ...
"Optimism for me isn't a passive expectation that things will get better. It's a conviction that we can make things better ... if we don't lose hope and we don't look away."
- Melinda Gates
Wednesday, May 24, 2017
1462 EASIER SAID THAN DONE!
Damn!
I've been unable to coax a story ... any kind of story
Out of my memory to save my blog from
Hanging on the line, blowing in the wind
Then, last weekend, I found out why that's true:
Dear friends from high school were our houseguests
And as we've loved each other through thick and thin for
More than half a century, our minds seem to work in
Tandem without allowing our defense systems to block
Deeper truths from being freely exchanged, back and forth
So when my treasured friend heard me mention that
I've been experiencing writer's block and
Can't withdraw any kind of story from my memory bank
She, being a therapist, replied: A fear in need of
Subconscious release is blocking your conscious sense of clarity ...
And as her response rang true, I realized that pushing against
My wall of denial increased my resistance, leaving me with
No recourse other than to muster patience while
My brain's intuitive ability to identify, absorb and
Resolve my current state of mental complexity encourages
A deeply repressed childhood fear to re-emerge, thus offering
My taxed thought processor's sense of inner tension sound reason to
Relax until clarity is, once again, mine, and while
I muster the patience to offer my intuitive powers clearance to overcome
The overwhelming nature of my thought processor's
Current struggle with an unidentified inner conflict, I hope you'll choose to
Sit your frustration, concerning the devisive traffic jam inside
My head, in timeout right next to my own until
My brain's natural sense of self confident wholeness returns, signaling
My subconscious of my budding sense of readiness to open
This particular door in my wall of denial, behind which we can imagine
A hooded, childhood fear holding my storyteller hostage by way of
Gagging and tying my sense of clarity to a chair, and having conjured up
That picture in my mind, tis time for the super sleuth within
My brain to call forth a host of inner strengths necessary to
Wrestle unnamed fear (related to repressed emotional pain) to the mat in hopes of
Gaining insight into unhooding yet another deeper truth, concerning
An attitude that most likely demeans my self worth, and suddenly
I've come to see that today's train of intuitive thoughtt is reminding me to
Keep this deeper truth in the forefront of my mind: No pain, no gain ... Whew!
I've been unable to coax a story ... any kind of story
Out of my memory to save my blog from
Hanging on the line, blowing in the wind
Then, last weekend, I found out why that's true:
Dear friends from high school were our houseguests
And as we've loved each other through thick and thin for
More than half a century, our minds seem to work in
Tandem without allowing our defense systems to block
Deeper truths from being freely exchanged, back and forth
So when my treasured friend heard me mention that
I've been experiencing writer's block and
Can't withdraw any kind of story from my memory bank
She, being a therapist, replied: A fear in need of
Subconscious release is blocking your conscious sense of clarity ...
And as her response rang true, I realized that pushing against
My wall of denial increased my resistance, leaving me with
No recourse other than to muster patience while
My brain's intuitive ability to identify, absorb and
Resolve my current state of mental complexity encourages
A deeply repressed childhood fear to re-emerge, thus offering
My taxed thought processor's sense of inner tension sound reason to
Relax until clarity is, once again, mine, and while
I muster the patience to offer my intuitive powers clearance to overcome
The overwhelming nature of my thought processor's
Current struggle with an unidentified inner conflict, I hope you'll choose to
Sit your frustration, concerning the devisive traffic jam inside
My head, in timeout right next to my own until
My brain's natural sense of self confident wholeness returns, signaling
My subconscious of my budding sense of readiness to open
This particular door in my wall of denial, behind which we can imagine
A hooded, childhood fear holding my storyteller hostage by way of
Gagging and tying my sense of clarity to a chair, and having conjured up
That picture in my mind, tis time for the super sleuth within
My brain to call forth a host of inner strengths necessary to
Wrestle unnamed fear (related to repressed emotional pain) to the mat in hopes of
Gaining insight into unhooding yet another deeper truth, concerning
An attitude that most likely demeans my self worth, and suddenly
I've come to see that today's train of intuitive thoughtt is reminding me to
Keep this deeper truth in the forefront of my mind: No pain, no gain ... Whew!
Friday, May 19, 2017
1461 TIME TO REBALANCE CHILDHOOD TRAUMA WITH MEMORIES OF JOY
Today, I awoke with this thought in mind:
In hopes of gaining insight into knowing myself in depth
I've spent most of my writing time penning posts in which
The natural emergence of intuitive trains of thought sought to
Illuminate reasons why one unresolved childhood trauma created
A subconscious mindset that led me toward unwittingly experiencing
More of the same, suggesting that it's high time to rebalance
That view of my life by inviting you to accompany me through
A door in my memory, behind which we'll delight in joyous stories that
Prove more plentiful than the subjective focus of my blog may have
Led you to believe was true, thus far ... in short ...
If deeper truth suggests that there are two sides to every story then
That includes stories we tell and believe are true about ourselves ...
In hopes of gaining insight into knowing myself in depth
I've spent most of my writing time penning posts in which
The natural emergence of intuitive trains of thought sought to
Illuminate reasons why one unresolved childhood trauma created
A subconscious mindset that led me toward unwittingly experiencing
More of the same, suggesting that it's high time to rebalance
That view of my life by inviting you to accompany me through
A door in my memory, behind which we'll delight in joyous stories that
Prove more plentiful than the subjective focus of my blog may have
Led you to believe was true, thus far ... in short ...
If deeper truth suggests that there are two sides to every story then
That includes stories we tell and believe are true about ourselves ...
Monday, May 15, 2017
1460 HERE'S WHAT LIES BEHIND EVERY PLAN THAT YOU BELIEVE IS BASED PURELY IN LOGIC
Hidden behind every plan, seemingly based purely in logic, is
A string of insights (relating back to a mind blowing
Emotional experience during childhood), which awaits
A stream of intuitive thought upon which to emerge from
Subconscious storage, and if that experience exposed
Your vulnerability to an adult authority figure, whose
Reactions served to demean your self worth then
You can understand why Mother Nature programmed
Your defense system to block a detailed account of
Your most fearsome reaction behind a wall of denial until
You've developed heightened levels of self disciplined
Emotional maturity necessary to inspire your conscious mind to
Make sound use of a specific set of inner strengths, namely:
Humility, courage, patience and resilience, all of which
Must intertwine before your intuitive powers can
Develop the capability to probe ever more deeply into
Your memory in hopes of releasing a detailed account of
The main root of your darkest subconscious fear, which
Having been based in childhood trauma, catalyzed
Your little corner of the world to swirl so suddenly into
A stormy, windswept, sense of personal despair as to have
Cast your budding sense of self onto a deeply puzzling
Maze-like path where a portion of your thought processor has
Unwittingly remained stuck, clinging for dear life, to
Dccisions, based more in yesteryear's fear of
Impassioned emotion than you consciously know, and
That's why decisions, seemingly based solely in logic, will
Continue to be more heavily influenced by
A defensive attitude, concerning fear for your personal safety as
Long as subconscious emotionally insecure reactions, manifesting as
Anxiety, remain separated from the emotionally matured, conscious portion of
Your brain, and thus has today's stream of intuitive thought awakened
My conscious mind to this fact that's true for people, worldwide:
Your mindset (and mine) will remain blind to insight attempting to
Clue your intelligence into the main root of your darkest fear, which
Your defense system will continue to deny until humility, courage
Patience and resilience open your eyes and ears to today's string of
Insights attempting to speak directly to you for this reason:
As long as your eyes and ears remain closed to pinpointing
The subconscious attitude, which proves in need of personal growth
It's likely that your many strengths will be compromised by
Unidentified vulnerabilities each time your little voice of
Subconscious fear directs your eyes and ears to focus solely upon
The same narrow path that has felt compatible with your sense of
Safety until, lo and behold, fate will offer your brain another
Utterly unexpected intensely emotional experience that packs such
A magnetically electrifying wallop as to rock your inner world off
Its axis, shocking your intelligent connection to logic to the core, compelling
Your subconscious intelligence to release your power of intuition to
Guide the conscious portion of your mind toward acknowledging
Your innermost need to re-examine the confounding nature of
Your conflicting adult strengths and vulnerabilities as though through
A microscopic lens, and though your surface demeanor may
Seem serene as you tread back through the 'logically-minded' path, which
Your decision-making process has chosen to cling to, over
Most of your life, your brain, like that of every person who has ever
Experienced life on earth, harbors a panic button, which
Instinctively signals subconscious alarm (anxiety) by alerting
Your adrenal glands to release adrenaline, which shuts down
The Neo cortex in favor of focusing all of your mental energy upon
Inner need to fight, flee or freeze whenever any portion of
A wholly unexpected experience feels remotely similar to
The emotional undertow of that deeply repressed (unidentified)
Childhood trauma, which, erupting with the force of
A volcanic explosion, catalyzes the sudden implosion of
Your adult connection to self worth for as long as
The painfully anxious, hauntingly daunting eruption of
Raw, unhealed, emotional turbulence (that has been
Secretly submerged within pockets of your subconscious ever
Since childhood) remains unnamed, suggesting this
Next string of insights: Though Mother Nature saw fit to protect
Your spirit from drowning in despair by burying the depth of your fear of
Re-experiencing any emotional uprising that might feel remotely similar to
That day when an innocent child with malice toward none had been
Deemed guilty of committing so heinous a crime as to have caused
The deeply confounded mind of this small child to feel so
Completely rejected by anger emoting from a beloved, all-powerful
Authority figure as to have unknowingly shattered
This child's tenuous connection to personal safety, most especially when
His budding sense of self worth had reason to feel tossed back and forth
Amongst hot winded gusts of emotional unpredictability, where
Feeling utterly alone and bereft of mature adult guidance, the self image of
A sincerely good, little boy (or girl) becomes disproportionately, though
Imperceptibly, out of sync with reality, and feeling more guilty of
Wrong doing than was actually true, this child's inexperienced think tank
Developed such a distrust of impassioned emotion as to have caused
His decision-making process to lean so heavily toward logic as to have
Blocked his ears from heeding his voice of intuition beseeching
His conscious intelligence to peer ever more deeply within his
Psyche in hopes of catching sight of insights in a jar that would
Shine the spot light of conscious connection upon a realistically
Rebalanced sense of self awareness, which, upon tapping into with
A greater degree of consistency, concerning the quick release of
Intuitive trains of thought, would automatically expunge
The heavy weight of undeserved guilt, which his subconscious has
Unknowingly harbored, unnecessarily, throughout each stage of his life
And not until the main root of childhood's heavy burden of
Undeserved guilt has been readily identified, fully exposed and released will
This person's spirit feel liberated from existing within this lonesome state of
Perpetual limbo to rejoice over having freed his (her) conscious mindset to
Grow toward absorbing bite-sized morsels of wisdom so as to declare oneself
So light-hearted as to frolic, feeling younger than Springtime, at long last!
On the other hand, if, having read this post, you still have
No conscious clue of reason to identify personally with
Each string of insights that my intuitive powers has just described then
Perhaps you'd appreciate an example of a thought process, which had
Seemed logically based in positive focus until
Today's stream of intuitive consciousness compelled my intelligence to
Muster the humility, courage, patience and resilience necessary to
Peel away at yet another layer of my defensive wall of denial in order to
Expose a subconscious fear, which, hiding behind yesteryear's
Black cloud of self doubt, had kept yet another aspect of my self worth
Stuck within an unidentified, lonely state of insecurity until ... this morning:
Though I've always looked forward to planning parties for others with
A natural sense of pleasure, parties planned in celebration of my life caused
Every atom of my being to quiver slightly with discomfort, and
I've had no clue of what makes me feel undeserving until
An intuitive train of thought probed through another layer of
My wall of denial, exposing yet another pocket of undeserved guilt, which
Had remained tucked out of sight within subconscious storage until
I awakened this morning feeling compelled to pen this stream of consciousness after
Will and I enjoyed our celebration of Mother's Day at
Celina and Steven's new home, yesterday, and having released that last thought
Suddenly, I feel intuitive need to stop writing in favor of absorbing
Today's string of insights more deeply into my conscious think tank ...
Hmmm ...
A string of insights (relating back to a mind blowing
Emotional experience during childhood), which awaits
A stream of intuitive thought upon which to emerge from
Subconscious storage, and if that experience exposed
Your vulnerability to an adult authority figure, whose
Reactions served to demean your self worth then
You can understand why Mother Nature programmed
Your defense system to block a detailed account of
Your most fearsome reaction behind a wall of denial until
You've developed heightened levels of self disciplined
Emotional maturity necessary to inspire your conscious mind to
Make sound use of a specific set of inner strengths, namely:
Humility, courage, patience and resilience, all of which
Must intertwine before your intuitive powers can
Develop the capability to probe ever more deeply into
Your memory in hopes of releasing a detailed account of
The main root of your darkest subconscious fear, which
Having been based in childhood trauma, catalyzed
Your little corner of the world to swirl so suddenly into
A stormy, windswept, sense of personal despair as to have
Cast your budding sense of self onto a deeply puzzling
Maze-like path where a portion of your thought processor has
Unwittingly remained stuck, clinging for dear life, to
Dccisions, based more in yesteryear's fear of
Impassioned emotion than you consciously know, and
That's why decisions, seemingly based solely in logic, will
Continue to be more heavily influenced by
A defensive attitude, concerning fear for your personal safety as
Long as subconscious emotionally insecure reactions, manifesting as
Anxiety, remain separated from the emotionally matured, conscious portion of
Your brain, and thus has today's stream of intuitive thought awakened
My conscious mind to this fact that's true for people, worldwide:
Your mindset (and mine) will remain blind to insight attempting to
Clue your intelligence into the main root of your darkest fear, which
Your defense system will continue to deny until humility, courage
Patience and resilience open your eyes and ears to today's string of
Insights attempting to speak directly to you for this reason:
As long as your eyes and ears remain closed to pinpointing
The subconscious attitude, which proves in need of personal growth
It's likely that your many strengths will be compromised by
Unidentified vulnerabilities each time your little voice of
Subconscious fear directs your eyes and ears to focus solely upon
The same narrow path that has felt compatible with your sense of
Safety until, lo and behold, fate will offer your brain another
Utterly unexpected intensely emotional experience that packs such
A magnetically electrifying wallop as to rock your inner world off
Its axis, shocking your intelligent connection to logic to the core, compelling
Your subconscious intelligence to release your power of intuition to
Guide the conscious portion of your mind toward acknowledging
Your innermost need to re-examine the confounding nature of
Your conflicting adult strengths and vulnerabilities as though through
A microscopic lens, and though your surface demeanor may
Seem serene as you tread back through the 'logically-minded' path, which
Your decision-making process has chosen to cling to, over
Most of your life, your brain, like that of every person who has ever
Experienced life on earth, harbors a panic button, which
Instinctively signals subconscious alarm (anxiety) by alerting
Your adrenal glands to release adrenaline, which shuts down
The Neo cortex in favor of focusing all of your mental energy upon
Inner need to fight, flee or freeze whenever any portion of
A wholly unexpected experience feels remotely similar to
The emotional undertow of that deeply repressed (unidentified)
Childhood trauma, which, erupting with the force of
A volcanic explosion, catalyzes the sudden implosion of
Your adult connection to self worth for as long as
The painfully anxious, hauntingly daunting eruption of
Raw, unhealed, emotional turbulence (that has been
Secretly submerged within pockets of your subconscious ever
Since childhood) remains unnamed, suggesting this
Next string of insights: Though Mother Nature saw fit to protect
Your spirit from drowning in despair by burying the depth of your fear of
Re-experiencing any emotional uprising that might feel remotely similar to
That day when an innocent child with malice toward none had been
Deemed guilty of committing so heinous a crime as to have caused
The deeply confounded mind of this small child to feel so
Completely rejected by anger emoting from a beloved, all-powerful
Authority figure as to have unknowingly shattered
This child's tenuous connection to personal safety, most especially when
His budding sense of self worth had reason to feel tossed back and forth
Amongst hot winded gusts of emotional unpredictability, where
Feeling utterly alone and bereft of mature adult guidance, the self image of
A sincerely good, little boy (or girl) becomes disproportionately, though
Imperceptibly, out of sync with reality, and feeling more guilty of
Wrong doing than was actually true, this child's inexperienced think tank
Developed such a distrust of impassioned emotion as to have caused
His decision-making process to lean so heavily toward logic as to have
Blocked his ears from heeding his voice of intuition beseeching
His conscious intelligence to peer ever more deeply within his
Psyche in hopes of catching sight of insights in a jar that would
Shine the spot light of conscious connection upon a realistically
Rebalanced sense of self awareness, which, upon tapping into with
A greater degree of consistency, concerning the quick release of
Intuitive trains of thought, would automatically expunge
The heavy weight of undeserved guilt, which his subconscious has
Unknowingly harbored, unnecessarily, throughout each stage of his life
And not until the main root of childhood's heavy burden of
Undeserved guilt has been readily identified, fully exposed and released will
This person's spirit feel liberated from existing within this lonesome state of
Perpetual limbo to rejoice over having freed his (her) conscious mindset to
Grow toward absorbing bite-sized morsels of wisdom so as to declare oneself
So light-hearted as to frolic, feeling younger than Springtime, at long last!
On the other hand, if, having read this post, you still have
No conscious clue of reason to identify personally with
Each string of insights that my intuitive powers has just described then
Perhaps you'd appreciate an example of a thought process, which had
Seemed logically based in positive focus until
Today's stream of intuitive consciousness compelled my intelligence to
Muster the humility, courage, patience and resilience necessary to
Peel away at yet another layer of my defensive wall of denial in order to
Expose a subconscious fear, which, hiding behind yesteryear's
Black cloud of self doubt, had kept yet another aspect of my self worth
Stuck within an unidentified, lonely state of insecurity until ... this morning:
Though I've always looked forward to planning parties for others with
A natural sense of pleasure, parties planned in celebration of my life caused
Every atom of my being to quiver slightly with discomfort, and
I've had no clue of what makes me feel undeserving until
An intuitive train of thought probed through another layer of
My wall of denial, exposing yet another pocket of undeserved guilt, which
Had remained tucked out of sight within subconscious storage until
I awakened this morning feeling compelled to pen this stream of consciousness after
Will and I enjoyed our celebration of Mother's Day at
Celina and Steven's new home, yesterday, and having released that last thought
Suddenly, I feel intuitive need to stop writing in favor of absorbing
Today's string of insights more deeply into my conscious think tank ...
Hmmm ...
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