DEFINING MY NEW NORMAL?

That which had been considered normal hath not existed for years  And the new normal proves highly individualized.

Normal for me has become quiet days, reading, writing,  enjoying the study of Shakespeare and riding next to Will to and from Mayo on Mon.-Fri.  My new normal includes chemo, surgeries, radiation.

Weather permitting, we enjoy meeting friends for dinner on restaurant patios, two to three times each week.  Evenings are spent watching a lot of football, basketball and tv series, my favorites on PBS.  All having been DVR’d. (13 commercials, one after another, is beyond the patience of The Dali Lama.)

I miss hosting large boisterous sumptuous holiday dinners, international travel, theater dates, dancing at parties, downhill skiing, and crunchy popcorn at the movies.  Most of all, I miss my good health.  I miss energy lasting more than a few brief moments before needing to sit down to catch my breath.  My new normal sees walkers and a wheelchair in my home.  Chairs strategically placed in hopes of my not falling flat on my face on marble tile—again

How grateful I am that Steven, Ravi and my niece, Jessica, live in town, and Barry, Marie, Tony, Ray and David, Beth, Steve, Cath and Zena reside less than a day's drive away.  How grateful I am that Lauren and Mickey fly in several times annually while Howie, Deb, Matt and Melissa, Josh, Elizabeth, bradly, Sara, Adam and Jamie remain in close touch with photos and videos via text.  

With open arms we welcomed Will’s cousin (my dear friend) Betty, Allen and their family whence they’d decided to dwell nearby in the desert.  Though Harry, Viv and Phil, Joel and Peggy and Michael and Nicola, Robbin, Bruce, Ceci, Jess and Terri live across the country, how blessed we are to have Andi and Mike living just down the street, and just as Ryan and Trish keep in touch every few days—Susan (and Roland) remain in touch more than once, daily.  And then there’s Jill, Bob, Adam  and Sami and of course, Debbie (who actually writes poems buoyed with hope floating toward me on wings of love), and Merle and Mack; Shainie and Michael, Marty and Nancy, Sue and Ronnie, Marilyn and Joel, Judy and Ron, Cath, Kai and Aidan, Kari and Mara, Judy and Julian  Barb and Skip, Michael and Rayna, Simmy (Adi ❤️ rip) and Deb, Shelly and Jerry  Mike and Lana, Sharon, Joan and Adrienne, Linda and Les and friends in book clubs and on and on—so you see—as long as beloved family and treasured friends remain close to my heart and healthy, everything I miss doing remains doable as in acceptable.

So rather than dwelling on what’s gone missing, I feel incredibly blessed knowing that within ‘my new normal’—everyone I love, loves me back.  And now, here it comes—uninvited, a spontaneous, yet utterly peaceful sense of mental fatigue.  Eyelids feeling heavy, lashes fluttering downward, eyes about to close knowing that however you define the new normal, mine continues to feel blessed with a life well lived, because even while seriously confined, most often, to my bed, my mindful spirit, feels vibrantly alive, and my heart, over flows with love, offering my sense of whilensss countless reasons to feel content with enjoying time spent with family and friends with what seems to me to be forever and ever and maybe even longer than that  … 

Family circa 1964 gathered to see Will’s brother, Jules, off to his year long, hand surgery fellowship in Finland

Will and I, being engaged at that time, will welcome Jules’ family home, and upon their return, our niece Beth, at two and a half, will be my flower girl…

Family then.  Family now.  Family forever …

And of course—family includes treasured

Friends adopted as family throughout our lives

Tis the season of Thanks Giving, and just as

Every day, I give thanks for

Deeply devoted family

I give thanks for all of you

My ever supportive friends!

🙋🏻‍♀️❤️🌈🍀🌟Annie