Though wishing to feel courageous, strong and mighty, the fact that I’m human suggests my spirit’s vulnerability to wearing thin, and though exhaustion has mixed with sadness ever since my most recent CT biopsy report stated that I must fight for my life, anew, intuition suggests that with sufficient time to rest, my spirit will rally, again. And again. Naturally. Suggesting why I’ll not pressure myself to hurry this process along.
If asked why, given time, I believe my spirit will rally on its own, here would be my self confident reply: History repeats itself.
Though mornings see me feeling sad, my spirit lifts throughout the day, and by evening, I feel pretty much like myself—whoever that may be as I can barely recognize the wearied woman, who, staring out from within my mirror, has withstood serious illness, ever since summer of 2018 when medical professionals could not fathom why I’d experienced pain within the right side of my chest along with excessive fatigue (thus offering the original tumor a year in which to grow so large within my lung as to have invaded my heart before a diagnosis had been detected that proved to be correct).
With chemo commencing, again, this coming Tuesday, my spirit feels hopeful that all four pillars of inner strength will refortify, over these next few days ... and now that I’ve become aware of feeling hopeful, you and I have just witnessed the re-emergence of one positively focused pillar of personal strength with three to go ...
👩🏻Annie
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