HEALTH UPDATE 12B OUR SECOND FLIGHT TO HOUSTON PROVED FRUITFUL, INDEED

After leaving the oncologist’s office in Houston, All I felt was a HUGE sense of relief!
Why?  Because the good doctor had offered sound reason for changing my chemo protocol, again.

Immediately after greeting us, Dr. Ravi’s eyes locked ever so seriously into mine, and here is the first thing he said:  ‘Annie, your side effects were terrible—we have to stop doing this to you.’ And as that was a direct quote, his words, floating into my ears, proved to be the most effective of salves, much needed to soothe every debilitated atom that continues to make me—me, while my body exists in this seriously diminished, chemo-induced state of being

As Dr. Ravi continued to speak, imagine me leaning forward, breathing in every word of his explanation as to why a third change in my chemo protocol proved necessary.  And once relief cleared my mind of personal need to declare myself bordering on desperation, I, listening intently, learned that the intensity of my current chemo protocol has diminished my heart’s natural ability to pump oxygenated blood around my body, and that’s why Dr. Ravi came up with a plan, which, being harmonic with everything my intuitive intelligence had need to hear, stimulated my spirit take a leap of faith away from remaining firmly tied to the dock toward springing so freely into the air as to land with both feet fully planted aboard this newly constructed life raft in one fell swoop.  And now, let’s see what Dr. Ravi’s third life-saving plan proves to be—

We’ll offer my body several days of rest (Yes! Yes! Yes!) before infusing me with a third chemo protocol that’s much reduced in intensity until my debilitated heart function (which, along with low blood count, has been causing weeks of light headedness) heals on its own. Though the second chemo protocol had somewhat reduced the tumor’s size and activity level, its intensity was literally half killing the healthy portions of me.

As my heart function recovers, my blood count rises and my level of energy improves, this third chemo protocol will be discontinued in favor of resuming the second chemo protocol at an adjusted level, because the second protocol proves to be the most effective sarcoma-killing agent, of all!  The fact that I never had to plead even one word of my body’s desperate need for change was reason enough for my injured heart to fall in love with my Houston oncologist, on the spot!🌻❤️

Thank God for doctors whose brains and ears are as firmly connected to compassionate hearts as their professional training is firmly attached to the black and white found in their patients’ charts!😊
Of course, I can’t deny that the primary reason for this most recent change in chemo is based upon heart scans that clearly declared my heart in distress.

Since chemo protocol #2 had caused my heart’s natural pumping ability to diminish, determining why light-headedness sees me pretty much housebound until this dysfunctional state of being repairs itself (which I’ve been assured it will, slowly, over time), my general state of mental laxity and physical lethargy, over these past several weeks, makes sense.  And having absorbed the fact that physical miseries will be gone baby gone (at least for a while), I was wheeled out of Dr. Ravi’s office floating on sensations of released relief, feeling 100% content with Dr. Ravi being in charge of my physical well being until he sees fit to signal Dr. Reardon and Dr. Chan to ready me for surgery.

How will Dr. Ravi know when readiness is ripe?  When chemo protocol #2, being resumed at a reduced intensity stops attacking the tumor’s aggressive activity.  Why not stick with chemo protocol #3?  Because it proves effective in only 20% of the patients whose lives are threatened by aggressive sarcomas.  If I am not amongst those 20% then chemo protocol #2, at a reduced intensity, will prove necessary to prepare me for life-saving surgery.

Will, being both my loving husband and a meticulous surgeon, feels torn about reducing the intensity of chemo#2.  Though he knows my heart must be healthy to undergo such a complex surgery successfully, his worry, concerning the aggressive, advanced nature of this tumor, which is encroaching upon my heart, sees his mind fielding a curve ball, resembling Catch 22.

We flew home on Wednesday, and yesterday, being Friday, I chose to accompany Will on a brief errand—first time in many weeks that I’ve had the energy to leave our home to go anywhere other than doctors’ appointments.  I must have been running on pure adrenaline, because once clarity’s spotlight shone directly at reality, my euphoric state of mind landed back on planet Earth. 

Tomorrow, we’re hoping to enjoy dinner out with our closest friends in celebration of the oncologist’s declaration, in Houston, that these last two chemo treatments were too intense (#2 actually damaging my heart)—so why celebrate?  Because my spontaneous reaction to Dr. Ravi’s findings offered my body’s natural reaction of desperation such a huge sense of relief as to stimulate my highly personal reason to celebrate this imminent change in chemo protocol, which had caused more misery than my defense system chooses to consciously recall.

Though days pass quietly, I feel so grateful for this next change in chemo protocol that each quiet day, free of physical misery, pretty much describes all that I require to feel content, at least for now.

Early in March, a third protocol will be infused if my blood count is up and my heart’s dysfunction Is on the mend.  Though I’d love to participate in up-coming events as friends gather for this reason or that, my primary goal of deactivating this tumor from encroaching upon my heart remains compliant with doctor’s orders in hopes of restrengthening my heart healthy state of being in readiness to withstand the rigorous, dual surgery, ahead.

As always, I’ll be with everyone in spirit until, once again, my body’s recovery of good health takes me wherever I really want to go.

Most likely, I’ll undergo several additional chemo treatments followed by several weeks to recover physical strengths, which will surely be undermined by chemo’s grip on the healthy portions of my body, because the less active the tumor, the more successful the curative aspect of these dual surgeries tends to be concerning warding off re-occurrence of this aggressive tumor, down the road.  In short, additional chemo treatments will be infused with hopes of killing any rogue sarcoma cells that may remain undetected when future PET scans are read.

As to how long it may take to recover my health, well, that’s not in question for this reason:  currently, my hope is aimed at re-energizing at least enough to quietly participate in a greater quality of life rather than lying in bed, month after month, feeling grateful for the fact that my organ systems are still functioning on their own.  As to currently decreased heart function, it must restrengthen in order to endure the complicated surgery, which we hope to be curative.

I’m so relieved to know that my sense of logic and humor have remained intact throughout the intensity of my personal chemo experiences, because one of my personal goals continues to focus upon consciously maintaining the mental acuity of attaining a curative recovery with grace, concerning self control remaining high on my list of inner strengths.  I mean how better can I demonstrate the depths of my amazing good fortune to feel so well taken care of by so many loved ones other than by welcoming each one’s presence with a cheerful smile that naturally invites family and friends to continue to participate freely in my recovery of good health by interweaving your heartfelt positive focus with Will’s and mine.  I hope that, even when I feel need to be quiet, you continue to feel the true depths of my love, every day!

As the days progress forward, I can’t express the depths of my relief to know that my oncologist in Houston, who prescribes intense doses of chemo to sarcoma patients, every single day, determined my side effects as being ‘terrible’ followed by informing me about the debilitated state of a portion of my heart function as soon as he’d entered the exam room—before I ever had a chance to open my mouth in hopes of voicing my need of change for the better, and upon hearing this sarcoma specialist say that we need a different set of drugs to allow my heart to heal, my spirit felt so relieved of suppressed stress that my heart’s distress came close to jumping for joy!

Once my heart regains it’s strength and we return to the more effective drug but at a reduced intensity, my reduced heart ability and severity of the anemia, which left me unable to ambulate more than a few steps before becoming so short of breathe that I’d let myself gently down to the ground, will repair itself, as well, suggesting, once again, the fact that the miracle of life manifests in countless ways, every single day.  Glory be!  Perhaps, as David declares, my spirit is more Rocky-like than Adrianne, after all!

Though my patience is intact, I acknowledge my spirit’s natural eagerness to feel re-energized, again!  Perhaps David is on target when he says—‘Mom, ! You’ve been knocked down and around but your spirit keeps winning in the center ring!  No sitting in the stands for you!’

My scans are all good.  Though my heart’s ejection fraction dropped from 64 to 50, that will improve once chemo #2 is no longer on the attack.  Thank goodness the tumor is less active and has shrunk a bit.  So picture me feeling deeply relieved that change for the better is about to replace severe anemia causing hospitalizations and blood transfusions, every few weeks.

Last week’s appt. literally offered my heart and spirit such good news for another reason, not yet aired.  If Dr Ravi had not taken my physical distress as seriously as he did, I may have left his office seeing myself as a wimp instead of a champ!  Why?  It’s human nature to be much too hard on oneself.🤓

As to hurrying my life forward—as it is, birthdays fly by so fast as to dizzy my head from spinning round to figure out how 26 became 76, over night!!  So as long as physical distress is not extreme, I’ll truly live each day as it comes feeling blessed with love.🙃

As to all of you who see me as being as strong as I hope to be when the going gets rough—perhaps my transfusions are coming from those who are considered ‘Bad ass—I mean, how funny would that be!  As for me, I’m hoping that blood donated by successful comedians proves to be in the mix.
😁

Though I still need my walker, nearby, I forget to use it a good deal of the time.  Hopefully, that’s a positive sign of heart healing and re-balanced blood flow naturally re-stabilizing, a bit more, every day. as my last treatment of chemo, being three weeks ago, fades into the past along with every side effect that had severely taxed my health without fazing my deeply rooted strength of spirit  😊🌻🙋🏻‍♀️

With my little red dress in plain sight, my spirit feel inspired to click my RUBY slippers, thrice, in hopes of magically maintaining enough heart healthy energy to remain at HOME (no hospitalizations in sight since my personal plan for the immediate future is to dance my way through this third protocol of chemo, which I’m destined to experience, beginning this coming Wednesday—
Cha cha cha!💃🏻 😊💪🏼Annie