Based in insights added to my last post, this morning, the date of this train of thought suggests its having been written, today. Why? For reasons that prove too complicated to try to express concerning how posting works on this site. So without further ado, let’s move forward until insights added this morning pop up as if to say—hi, glad to meet you. I’m here in hopes of simplifying or clarifying trains of thought concerning the fact that attitude is a choice.
Since ‘attitude is everything’, picture me awakening, this morning, choosing to enjoy yet another not worse day (my way of saying chemo is not piercing my body with hot spots of misery, and in hopes of my not jinxing this vast improvement in how I’m feeling, which has offered me such a positive change for the better over past chemo protocols, I feel truly happy at not needing to be hospitalized combatting multiple life threatening complications based in side effects, which proved so powerfully debilitating that in the absence of astute medical attention, 24/7, the ‘cure’ would have knocked me out, relegating the fighter at my core to have gone down for the count.)
On the other hand, knowing myself to be a pacifist ‘fighter’, stoked with the inner fires of MLK, here I am, withstanding yet another round of chemo, my never-give-up heartfelt attitude pumping chemically readjusted, protocol cocktail #3 throughout my blood stream while the sum of my body parts, working in tandem, mirror my hopes to stand in the winner circle, feeling eager to engage with healthy loved ones once the death threats of corona and my heart-lung surgery are history ...
As to master bathroom cabinet cleaning, I completed that task, feeling masterful, last night. Hooray for my ability to create change for the better, which proved to be within my personal power to control! As to items withdrawn from cabinets, which have not been put to use for years, they’ve been neatly arranged within two good sized, cardboard boxes, because each of these items, all of which are as good as new, will be graciously coveted by the residents of my favorite woman’s shelter, where our donations are always so gratefully welcomed. Why my ‘favorite’ shelter! Because women (battered by those who profess to love them) who had to muster the courage to flee from abuse in favor of seeking asylum along with their children are taught by professionals to develop a personal sense of self respect within a campus, locked down to safeguard their right to live free of attack, first in a dormitory setting, advancing to one and two bedroom apartments, and once residents have been schooled as how best to support themselves and their children, over time, jobs are procured, readying each family to move out and function on its own, having spent two years moving from one stage of personal growth to the next until in-coming attitudes based in mindsets of complete dependency have been guided, compassionately, toward taking a series of leaps of faith, the sum of which culminates in the development of a well balanced life, based in having accomplished the mental work necessary absorb an attitude of independent self-reliance based in self respect.
And now, on to my next thought, highlighting an echo-cardiogram, scheduled on April 3rd (followed by my first appointment with a Cancer cardiologist, whom we’ve yet to meet). If this study of heart/lung function shows my current protocol of chemo deactivating invasive damage done by the tumor without having caused more harm to my heart, I’ll have won the lottery! (If by chance this hope was aired in a previous post—well, it has been a proactive part of my think tank for weeks ... )
Fingers and toes double crossed, between now and April 3rd will cause writing and walking to be quite a feat, but no worries, please, because I’ll manage to stay in touch, most every day, for this reason— reaching out to connect with you in some deeply meaningful way buoys my spirit so as to see me awakening feeling purposeful, every day. And a life well lived, which is a purpose driven life, is what I aim to keep fully fueled as long as the sum of my parts, which continues to function very well, inspires my renewed sense of wholesome wholeness to stoke each next train of thought as engineered by my spirit’s intuitive powers to plant seeds of thought via cyberspace concerning everyone’s brand new chance to create change for the better, which I hope (as a disciple of Gandhi’s) my posts will inspire throughout our deeply worried world now that Rip Van Winkles, around the globe, have awakened with pressing need to confront pandemic fear by mustering the courage and humility necessary to pull together (six feet apart) in hopes of expanding yesteryear’s closed mindsets so as to openly seek creative solutions to problems shoved under the rug for so long as to have remained ignored by one generation after the next until the buck stopped here based in today’s mind boggling domino effect, which, no doubt, brainiacs will, one day (making sound use of hindsight) gain insight into leading the rest of us to comprehend ... and of that, my dizzied brain is certain.
Five year old Ravi is now choosing to FaceTime me. What fun! She and I visit with her favorite toys. When she wants Papa to join us, she yells—Papaaaa! Then she tries—Honeyyyy! And finally—Willlll, I need you!! LOL😊
My sweet grand daughter feels deeply perplexed as to why she can’t come to play with me since I was sick for quite some time when we’d cuddled up before—she finds it hard to understand why some kinds of sickness can’t be caught while others can. Or why I can be sick with one illness for quite a while but better not complicate matters by catching that one—on the other hand, why should a five year old understand any of this at her tender age when there’s so much we can’t understand no matter how advanced our age becomes ... sooo
As long as all of my loved ones are well and hopes of a surgical cure of my cancer remain center-pieced on our dining table, every day of this quiet life continues to feel like a gift to graciously enjoy, no matter how uneventful each hour of every day continues to feel—L’chaim!
Annie 🙋🏻♀️🌈🌻🎈
PS
Phone just rang.
Friends from Seattle, enjoying winter home in the desert
Are coming over, this afternoon, to visit on our patio, where
They’ll sit separated from Will and me, twelve feet apart😊
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