I wonder how many therapists are seeing clients who are freaking out as our world spirals off its axis while (in addition to angst over trump), we worry on a global scope about the deadly nature of the corona virus. I mean, when has an entire European nation shut itself down? And on and on ...
Now, everyone’s brain floods with fearful reactiveness whenever a cough or sneeze is released just as proves true of patients, like me, whose immune systems are compromised from chemo being pumped into our bloodstreams in hopes of deactivating tumors, which prove to be one of Mother Nature’s most aggressive enemies of longevity.
If we can’t feel happy while all of our loved ones are healthy then when will a relaxed attitude concerning everything that’s way beyond each person’s control be ours?
As soon as I get uptight, my brain has been trained to ask myself this question—can I change any aspect of this scary situation? If the answer is no then I call forth my well-practiced line of self control and while standing as near as I can to this imaginary line where my sense of self discipline adheres to logical thinking, my strength of spirit encourages my brain to inhale a healthy dose of oxygen, followed by exhaling a self steadying stream of pent up stress.
As to my heartfelt tenacity, which strengthens my spirit each time positively focused energy surges through my mind, I can feel determination inspiring my sense of wholeness to relax with the realization that I can create change for the better by consciously choosing to embrace a healthy attitude, which clears my thought processor to accept reality without freeing subconscious fear to couple up with imagination, thus transforming my brain into a cage in which a gerbil running on a wheel, gets no place fast, most especially throughout a tossed and turned night. Whew!
Thank goodness for EMDR therapy, which encourages my processor to create new channels of thought that strengthen my conscious connection to positively focused insights, which serve to brighten my connection to self awareness, which in turn, spotlights personal need to call forth character traits, like tenacity, courage, patience and good humor when current events, beyond my personal control, continue to spiral too fast to process the domino effect that intrudes upon everyone’s sense of personal safety, throughout the world.
This post, written yesterday while I was plugged into chemo, offers my think tank sound reason to minimize my fearful reaction to a virus that is causing millions to freak out for sound reason—sooo in closing for today ...
Please note that, last night, Will and I enjoyed time well spent with another couple, dear friends, who had lovingly brought dinner. Though Will had battled cancer as did my dear friend, whose husband is battling against bladder cancer, right now, most of our conversations concerned politics and family, the latter refocusing our minds upon loved ones, who offer our spirits countless reasons to smile.
So far, while sitting in this chemo chair, attached to tubes dripping yet another new cocktail into my port, I’ve actually begun to enjoy another positively focused day based in my determination to plug my ever heightening trait of self awareness into my brain’s expansive capacity to redirect my chosen attitude away from spiraling downward in favor of feeling appreciative of my having thought out of the box so as to have conjured up this line of self control, during my child-raising years ... and as, presently, this new combination of drugs is causing my eyelids to feel heavy, I’ll end today's post, the writing of which has, thankfully redirected my attitude away from spirally out of control toward relaxing my fears, at least for right now, suggesting our having witnessed my strength of spirit freeing my youthful mind and elderly body to get the rest needed to do battle with the aggressive nature of this sarcoma, which, upon having invaded my lung for no reason other than to snatch my good health in its grasp, has not yet been successful at wrestling my lust for life to the mat ... so why end today’s train of thought for today with an arousal of anger? Because, having engaged in countless sessions of therapy has offered me insight into understanding that anger, acknowledged so as to release an awareness of suppressed angst let’s off steam in a healthy manner based in the fact that my mind-steadying line of emotional control does not loose sight of logic, which continues to offer me a balanced view of the bigger picture, suggesting that with family, friends and my medical team’s wealth of knowledge and experience staunchly in my corner, my brain does not do battle against this brainless tumor, round after round, all by myself, and as the limbic portion of my brain stem, which is preprogrammed to spiral away from logic when panic becomes pandemic is proactively protected by my spirit’s positively focused resilience, my well-practiced power of intuition has trained my processor to stand ready to attentively place my toes on my line of emotional self control so as to switch tracks from thoughts that entangle my mind with downers in favor of refocusing on uppers with which the writer in me fills post after post, many of which I review countless times for the sake of depth absorption, knowing that my conscious memory needs a boost most especially when each next round of chemo ties my brain into tight knots of misery that make me feel as if stranger danger has invaded my mind and body. And as writing frees intuitive thought to filter this bite sized portion of angry steam from remaining repressed within my subconscious, my eyes are closing—more peacefully than before.
❤️😊🌈🌻🙋🏻♀️ Annie
PS
My three sons, concerned about my longevity, have convinced me to quarantine my vulnerabilities against the aggressive nature of the corona virus, over these next couple of weeks of uncertainty, which made sense to me. After all, my mom, having beat stiff odds at the age of 82, to which her medical team expected her to succumb, lived to dance through her birthday party which celebrated our good fortune to commemorate 100 years of her lust for life ... and Mom’s spirit, in tandem with Dad’s robust love of life, offer me two role models upon which to pattern my choice of attitudes, which continue to influence the mindful direction of three fully grown men, whose love runs clearly through the line each time they call to check up on their mom as they watched me do with mine, and The positive aspect of that domino effect fuels my spirit with the fortitude to smile each time they call to reassure themselves that Will and I are truly taking good care of their elderly mother and father ... lucky Will. Lucky me ...
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