Most of today’s train of thought, which was actually penned while hospitalized on Tuesday, was found, today, in drafts—chemo brain still on the loose!
Tuesday
Having recouped a good deal of physical energy with the help of transfusions makes me so happy as to feel giddy to the point of skirting silly, and I heard myself making such ridiculous remarks that all of the nurses and aides and even the doctors were leaving my room laughing rather than rolling their eyes, which is a good thing. I decided to clip several of Ravi’s small flowers into the few wisps of hair that’ve grown toward 1/4th of an inch in length. (It never occurred to me that rebalanced blood cells stimulate my corny sense of humor to kick in. From now on when anyone’s grumpy, I’ll suggest ordering a blood transfusion from Amazon Prime, same day delivery)😁
Though I’d hoped to go home, yesterday and then today, platelets and hemoglobin on their way down, again, suggest my needing to be transfused ... on the up side, Neutrophils rose to 1350 ... oncologist wants them at 1500 to protect me from run-away infection—sooo—though my blood production is still less than stable, let’s hope my numbers reach a level across the board that encourages my oncologist to say yea to my being released, tomorrow.
Other than blood count instability, I’ve experienced 'no worse' days, concerning physical miseries, for about three days, now😊
Along with each daily bone marrow shot, I develop a painful achiness, all over, which is classic, lasts several hours and lessens with pain meds. This throbbing achiness indicates that the bone marrow is actively being stimulated to produce new blood cells, and having placed that slice of info into my bonnet rebalances my natural reaction to pain in that I’m hurting for good reason.
Sunday, we hope I’ll be ready to fly to Houston to consult with the oncologist who works in tandem with my heart and thoracic surgeons, who, hopefully, will perform my surgeries in late spring. I’m hopeful that I can be home for a few days before packing to fly to Houston. If there’s one thing that does not need to be transfused, as of yet, it’s an abundance of hope ...
I’ve come to believe that living with cancer amid these intense chemo treatments, 24/7, would be unbearable if my sense of humor did not choose to accompany me and kick in every place I go, most especially the hospital. Today, the nurses laughed aloud while I circled the corridor garbed in an ivory silk full length robe with three of Ravi’s small, colorful silk flowers clipped to my spikey few wisps of hair, and ruby sequined slippers covering my feet while I breathed in time to The Eye of the Tiger, which, playing quietly on David’s phone, charged me up to stretch a bit further. Good thing I can ‘go with’ looking ridiculous, because each time someone laughed, so did I—naturally—and since David laughed every time he looked at me, I laughed throughout a day that could have been a downer, because I’ve been light-headed and short of breath, again, without knowing why.
Sooo—Ravi (5) learned to ski over Valentine’s weekend, and Ray’s (8) first day of skiing (ever), during his school’s ski week on the coast, met with success, as well. I don’t know who’s more thrilled—Ravi (here) and Ray (there) or Steven (who came to see me upon driving home from the mountain) and Barry (on the coast with his fam), both of whom, now, have Jr. playmates to ski with in snow country.
My hemoglobin went down significantly, again, today (Tues.), which is why I’m more readily light headed and short of breath ... so, I’ll not be surprised if a fourth blood transfusion is deemed necessary before I’m hopefully released for home, tomorrow ...
... 👩🏻
Today (Friday) I hope you awoke to a very good morning!
Because a very good morning it is!😊
I was discharged and arrived home on Wed. after blood transfusion #4, feeling gladdened to know that our plan to fly to Houston Sunday remains intact.
Fly on Sunday
Blood test and PET scan on Monday
See Dr Ravi Tues.
Fly home Wed.
It feels amazing to be home with energy, not to spare by any means but enough to walk and get done whatever needs doing, naturally, on my own with walker in tow in case I stand up and move too QUICKLYso as to become so light-headed and short of breath as to need to lie down on the spot.😊
Yesterday, I sat on a chair in my closet, choosing what to pack with Edie’s (my right-hand gal) help. This morning, Mark (trainer) comes, and this afternoon, David picks up Ravi (5) from pre-school, and we’ll play on or near my bed till Angie stops by for a short spell before Steven comes for dinner, tonight, so today offers many reasons to exercise my smile.😊
Today, David flies back to the coast, and my heart is happy to relay that his negotiation with Warner Bros. concerning drawing up a contract related to the dramatic series he wrote, based upon my dad’s gay bar, circa 1960, continues to move forward.
Both Barry and Steven are stoked about their kids skiing. When Barry bargained with eight year old Ray in hopes of enticing him to ride the chairlift, Ray bargained back for two things. Neither being a toy. A pair of ski gloves for himself and a gift for Ravi. Needless to say, Barry’s heart swelled with pride at both choices, and the fact that Ray rode the lift and skied down the mountain six times, because once success was his, he couldn’t get enough, illustrates, once again, that success breeds success. Tony (9) chose not to learn to ski but upon learning that several of his school buddies were enjoying the mountain with their families, is now entertaining second thoughts concerning ski lessons, next time.
As to Will, he can’t contain his happy relief that I’m home, feeling as chipper and mobile as proves true, as long as I don’t overdo (which is a tendency of mine being that reflection suggests my embracing the fact that historically, I’ve been a self-acknowledged over-achiever.). All in all, it’s been a ‘no worse day’ ever since I arrived home.😊
So, imagine me stuffing this missile with lots of love wrapped in warm hugs, ever grateful for your enriching gifts of loving support and lasting friendship,
Annie 💖🌈🌻🙋🏻♀️
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