Tis good to know that I feel at peace with the fact that the train of thought posted yesterday had not been published, last summer when originally penned, because this is the first time that thoughts of sexual abuse have not stimulated yesteryear’s unresolved anxiety to spike—smiting today’s inner strengths with undeserved guilt—and this conscious change for the better, concerning my connection to personal growth, makes me wonder if my intuitive intelligence had a hand in setting this post in drafts until such time as my processor felt so clear of muddled emotion (associated with the death of a loved one) as to review insights, which had begun to emerge around the time of Jeremy's passing, offering my subconscious memory reason to compare the very first, gravely sad time that I'd experienced a confounded sense of emotional turbulence in the aftermath of Janet's death when I, having lost sight of my self worth, could no longer hear my assertive voice attempting to speak aloud, because the original key to unlocking deeply buried secrets that I'd kept from myself could not be retrieved until my intuitive adult readiness sought out ‘the teacher’, whose knowledgable, patient guidance appeared, just like magic, several years back—and hopefully, this post and those to follow, which will also be retrieved from drafts, may lead my inner sense of wholeness toward inviting you to enjoy the magic carpet ride that will open our hearts and minds to absorbing insights regarding early adult experiences, which had once been mine, so as to show you how my absorption of undeserved guilt had catalyzed a subconscious fear that my personal survival depended upon swallowing my assertive voice whenever my thoughts differed from that of my parents ... though my subconscious need to quest toward retrieving the key to free my fearless independent spirit awaited a growing sense of intuitive readiness ... forever.
And that last insight leads me ask: Have you a clue as to which childhood memory serves as the key to open the door in your wall of denial, behind which your existential spirit awaits the freedom to embrace your heart’s desire, which perpetually feels just beyond reach?
No matter how bold you see yourself to be, deeper truth suggests that every brain harbors a wall of denial behind which subconscious fear flogs your spirit with spikes of anxiety based in negatively focused inner conflicts (concerning your self worth), which narrow your choices, and that insight leads me to ask: If you’ve not yet fully recovered from the primary childhood experience that had catalyzed your fledgling self-worth to feel so harshly chastised and spiritually disgraced as to condemn the innocence of the wounded child within to carry forth a subconscious sense of undeserved guilt throughout every stage of your life, might today’s intuitive train of thought offer up the turning point whereby your intelligence freely chooses to muster the courage, humility and patience to work toward creating a conscious change for the better by questing ever more deeply within your psyche in hopes of inspiring your intuitive powers to penetrate your wall of denial so naturally as to tap into strings of insight spotlighting raw spots of subconscious pain thus igniting hindsight to empower your conscious adult intelligence with the key that opens the door in the wall relieving your processor of the mental block that forbade you to free your adult spirit to soar as high as had been true before the heavy burden of undeserved guilt had been absorbed by the vulnerable nature of a child’s think tank, pressuring you to over achieve, beginning with this most highly impressionable stage of your life, and once intuitive hindsight illuminates insight into the anxious sense of guilt that has confounded your processor with mixed messages concerning your self worth, overlong, the portion of your existential voice that remains stuck in your throat to this very day will feel free to assert itself naturally and clearly each time your mouth opens, releasing a sense of blocked emotion that flows forth as spontaneously as an undammed river, rushing past its rocky rapids, as though seeking to flow peacefully and harmonically into the open arms of the welcoming sea ...
And that last insight leads me ask: Have you a clue as to which childhood memory serves as the key to open the door in your wall of denial, behind which your existential spirit awaits the freedom to embrace your heart’s desire, which perpetually feels just beyond reach?
No matter how bold you see yourself to be, deeper truth suggests that every brain harbors a wall of denial behind which subconscious fear flogs your spirit with spikes of anxiety based in negatively focused inner conflicts (concerning your self worth), which narrow your choices, and that insight leads me to ask: If you’ve not yet fully recovered from the primary childhood experience that had catalyzed your fledgling self-worth to feel so harshly chastised and spiritually disgraced as to condemn the innocence of the wounded child within to carry forth a subconscious sense of undeserved guilt throughout every stage of your life, might today’s intuitive train of thought offer up the turning point whereby your intelligence freely chooses to muster the courage, humility and patience to work toward creating a conscious change for the better by questing ever more deeply within your psyche in hopes of inspiring your intuitive powers to penetrate your wall of denial so naturally as to tap into strings of insight spotlighting raw spots of subconscious pain thus igniting hindsight to empower your conscious adult intelligence with the key that opens the door in the wall relieving your processor of the mental block that forbade you to free your adult spirit to soar as high as had been true before the heavy burden of undeserved guilt had been absorbed by the vulnerable nature of a child’s think tank, pressuring you to over achieve, beginning with this most highly impressionable stage of your life, and once intuitive hindsight illuminates insight into the anxious sense of guilt that has confounded your processor with mixed messages concerning your self worth, overlong, the portion of your existential voice that remains stuck in your throat to this very day will feel free to assert itself naturally and clearly each time your mouth opens, releasing a sense of blocked emotion that flows forth as spontaneously as an undammed river, rushing past its rocky rapids, as though seeking to flow peacefully and harmonically into the open arms of the welcoming sea ...
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