Thursday, October 19, 2017

N. WITH SO MANY WAYS TO OFFER LOVE, LET’S ...

My first thought was to post two poems penned years before I’d ever considered writing a blog, both being odes to enriching our lives by loving each other wholly and purely rather than defensively and guiltily due to feeling deeply conflicted; however my first thought is not always my best thought, so rather than publishing one of those poems, today and the other, tomorrow, stimulating my processor’s productivity center to consider need to deepen my absorption of strings of insights penned more than a decade ago, here is how that plan has changed for the better:

Rather than posting those poems at this time, stimulating my processor to swing away from relaxation toward productivity before a re-energized sense of mental readiness is mine, I’ve decided to publish the rest of the posts, which had accumulated in drafts toward the end of the summer in the aftermath of my brother-in-law’s death, and in this way, my proactively productive processor will procure the down time necessary to refuel my brain’s primary source of energy, more commonly referred to as my existential spirit.

In relation to my current state of mental weariness, you may have noticed that I’ve chosen to relate nothing about what’s taken place in my life over these past few challenging days whence certain experiences felt mentally exhilarating while others felt emotionally draining not to be confused with debilitating, because, over all, peace of mind, concerning my current connection to personal safety, continues to feel intact, suggesting that while certain events catalyzed my memory to unpack another one of yesteryear’s self-conceived misperceptions (which had once caused my self worth to feel squeezed between a rock and a hard place), I’m aware of undergoing a growth spurt, during which my conscious awareness is realizing a self confident gain while my defense system is not experiencing even a hint of an anxious eruption of unidentified and thus unresolved subconscious pain ... Hooray!

And here's why that's reason for spiritual celebration:  Though personal events stimulated yesteryear's files to fly open within my subconscious, suggesting that scary memories are lumbering around inside my head, none are empowered to catalyze anxiety to strike down my adult self confidence, at all!

I know those scary memories are lurking near the surface, because my frontal lobe feels a sense of dour heaviness, suggesting subconscious processing is taking place right now as I pen this post; however, this week’s obvious leap of faith suggests that an inter-related set of memories, which had once overwhelmed my adult sense of personal safety, are presently advancing through a natural state of mental reprocessing that will convey my sense of wholeness to a better place once my brain's filtering system senses intuitive readiness powering up to release that matched set of related memories into my conscious awareness by way of a flash of insight, which, as of today, remains defensively blocked from the conscious portion of my think tank behind my subconscious wall of denial, and once that memory is released, another negatively focused, false belief about myself will be revealed, relieving today's sense of emotional maturity of lugging around another slice of self-conceived guilt, unnecessarily.  And as nothing feels as spiritually uplifting as declaring one’s innocence free of undeserved guilt, you can see why, with all of this going on, deep inside, my mental processor feels tired, and if there’s one slice of wisdom that I’ve thoroughly absorbed it is to listen to my body while trusting my brain to know what it's doing each time intuition suggests not pushing myself to work proactively at anything other than relaxing—which does not come easy to a highly productive, over-achiever such as I know myself to have become at the tender age of three!

PS
Ciao e grazie to those of you whom I believe are
Introducing my posts to family, friends and colleagues
Please note that each time I click on stats and see how
Readership in Italy continues to increase, day by day
My pleasure center sends each of you a heartfelt smile
A heartfelt smile across the miles ... 


No comments:

Post a Comment