And if we think of habits as patterns tattooed into
Our brains then we can see why defensive thought patterns
Absorbed during childhood prove very hard to change, and
If you surmise that's not true, because
People change their minds all the time then
I'll smile while this next insight-driven train of thought
Responds to the haste of your reply:
I was not referencing conscious thought patterns but rather
Subconscious patterns of thought, buried so deeply into
The subterranean portion of our minds during youth as to be
Denied as our own even though it's these defensive thought patterns
(Most often based in fear) that influence more of our adult decisions than
We'd like to know is true, and not until we've mustered the courage to
Work at unearthing these unidentified fears is change for the better, concerning
Transforming our defensive patterns of thought, possible ... and
If you ask why that kind of change for the better tends to
Progress at a snail's pace, my reply would be twofold:
First of all, we can't communicate clearly with others until clarity, concerning
Unidentified fears is ours, and secondly, even those who consciously
Choose to quest ever more deeply within find that change takes time, because
Any thought of unearthing childhood fears locked within the dungeon of
Our subconscious alerts your defense system and mine to refortify
Our walls of denial ASAP by way of releasing an
Over-production of adrenaline (as had proved true when
The original childhood experience had terrified us out of our minds)
And since any sensation of those unidentified, mind-blowing fears
Stimulates an over abundance of adrenaline to rush through
Our blood streams, we experience oxygen deprivation, which
Shuts down our logical processing system, freeing
Our brain's basic survival instinct of flight/flight/freeze to usurp
Control over our think tanks, which is why we can't think smart to
Save our own lives or a relationship that means the world to us ... unless
A line of well disciplined self control has consciously been
So well-trained as to have developed an intuitive sense as to when
Brain tension, based in spiking anxiety, proves in need of relaxing in
Record time so as to cut our basic survival instinct off at the pass in favor of
Thinking calmly and astutely on the spot while everyone else's
Thought processors are feeling as though swirling dust devils are
Fogging up anything that might resemble a solution seeking
Train of thought, because once the human brain begins to
Spin with sudden spikes of yesteryear's unresolved anxiety
A person feels too dizzy to put two words together that make any
Solution-seeking sense, at all ... Hmmm ... thank goodness
My processor thought to create The Line of Control, which I chose to
Practice (role model) every day while my sons were growing up, and
With that thought in mind, it's no wonder why I came to see
My think tank as The Fixer ... on the other hand, My Fixer proved
All too human, because not having super-powers, My Fixer wore out ...
However had My Fixer not worn out, I'd not have grown aware of
The fact that members of my family had need to identify their
Subconscious vulnerabilities, because ... I won't be here to
Fix problems, which are not my own, forever ... and in addition to
That insight-driven awareness here comes another:
Once I wore out, my ego came face to face with my subconscious
Vulnerabilities (unidentified fears) concerning mortality and
Emotional abandonment, both of which had been
Secreted from my conscious mind since the age of three, and
As those primary fears had undermined the wealth of communication
Skills, which I'd consciously adopted as my own, my intuitive intelligence
Would not let my peace of mind rest until the intertwined nature of
That duet of fears was exposed to my conscious awareness with clarity intact
And as it's not uncommon for one emotion to entertwine with another
It's easy to see why communicating clearly with oneself as well as with
Others can be quite a mental feat, indeed, and to further complicate
Confusion, not only is it difficult for us to express two or more
Emotions simultaneously but we also must contend with the complex
Emotional reactions on the parts of those who may be listening
With defensive attitudes that are so tuned into their feelings that
Their responses make us feel that no matter what we say
Our feelings have no credibility when compared with theirs
And since this intuitive train of thought felt bound and determined to
Post these insights, while they were pippin' fresh, today
I've no time left to google how to transpose upper case to lower
So that plan, concerning simplifying yesterday's post, will be tabled till
Time permits, because in addition to identifying the emotional
Complexities of our subconscious attitudes, timing is everything ...
As for now, Ravi and I have a play date with a young friend of
Mine and her three year old daughter ... a sweet child, who, as of
Late, only answers to the name of Doc McStuffin's (a cartoon
Character on TV, who fixes broken toys) ... in fact
This identity that Ravi's playmate has adopted has such importance to
Her peace of mind as to have inspired her family, preschool teacher and
Classmates to call her by this name so as to placate whatever inner need
This three year old child is unable to clearly express, and though
No one can understand why she's made this change, everyone
Who cares about her peace of mind has wisely accepted to
Respect her wishes ... And though 'Doc McStuffins' is
Older than Ravi by several months you'd never guess that to be
True, because she is at one end of the growth spectrum while
Ravi is at the other, exemplifying that the little that we consciously
See on the surface is not all there is know concerning
Who we truly prove to be, deep inside, most especially when confounding
Tragedy terrifies an innocent child's immediate family before she turns three ...
(Photo of playmates will be published here, when time permits)
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