Gosh!
I worked so hard not to do this
Do what?
Take a break from penning my blog
In fact, I'd no clue my mind was made up until
My stylus began to write the first word of today's post
I guess, upon writing 'Gosh'
My power of intuition had flexed its muscles, thus
Dominating the part of my brain that wants to keep writing ...
Oops! Guess what just happened?
I stopped writing to 'think' about
How best to describe the emotional conflict, which
Compelled me to make a decision that
I've been resisting since Ravi's birth ... and
As soon as I stopped writing to think
My think tank regained control over my brain and
Kicked intuition right out the door, making me wonder if
Intuition is just the kick-starter that alerts my conscious mind to
Awaken to the fact that a change, which
Lady Luck has placed in my lap, is about to
Redirect my think tank to focus my awareness upon
The concept of 'out with the old Annie, in with the new' ...
However, even though a significant change, which remains unnamed
Is underway, please make no mistake—today's train of thought does not
Suggest that upon becoming a brand new Gramma
Your storytelling friend, Annie, has flown the coop, forever
All I'm saying is this: I feel the need to
Take time out from seeking you out until
My focus has integrated this change, which is
Causing an old, thinking pattern to readjust
And if you ask which mind set is undergoing metamorphosis
I'd reply: As of yet, I have no clue, because
All I know for certain, right now, is this:
Whichever mindset has been in need of undergoing
Change for the better is still subconscious in nature
And since the greater part of my conscious mind wants
To wallow in euphoria while a smaller portion wants to
Continue to write stories, ladened with insight
I guess intuition felt need to guide me toward
Taking this break until, over time
My present state of inner conflict resolves, naturally, on its own
And if you ask how I know my present state of inner conflict
Is bound to resolve, favorably, I'd reply:
This is not the first time that intuition has compelled me to
Take time out from an activity or person I love, suggesting that
Experience has taught me to take whatever time is needed to
Fully enjoy this first stage of change, which is redirecting
My powers of concentration toward welcoming
This precious sweetheart into the safe haven of my embrace, and
Since my love-struck mind feels too besotted to wrap
A greater portion of concentration around
Any train of thought other than those which express utter delight in
My spirit's high flying feeling of swelling gladness, which
Makes me believe that my heart might burst with joy if
My happiness quotient continues to soar beyond the point of no return
Common sense suggests my wallowing in this wonderous feeling rather
Than allowing resistance to extend inner conflict, longer than necessary
And though, during this first potent stage of love, it may seem as if
The wondrous gift of Ravi's presence in my life has made
Everyone and everything that I adore, somehow
Drop out of sight, here's why, organically, I know differently:
This is not the first time I've felt blessed with this blissfully besotted
Mind boggling effect of love-drunk euphoria, which, at first
Proves all consuming, suggesting my having experienced
The fact that heartfelt euphoria stimulates our spirits to feel
Super human each time we fall head-over-heels in love, for real ...
And having clarified the fact that I acknowledge
My need to wallow in this first stage of love before
Transitioning, naturally, toward each stage, which is yet to come
Here's the insight that intuition has been prodding
My sense of readiness to convey to you, today:
As much as I've resisted this mindful decision
To honor my need for time out, which
Proves hard for my heart to accept
I believe it's best to take a break from writing to you in order to
Resolve inner conflict by freeing my whole mind to
Fully absorb the gift of Ravi into my life
You know, kind of like freeing myself to honeymoon with
My grand daughter until my urge to write stories, offering
Insight-driven plans of positively focused action
Returns, naturally, on its own
And here's why you can feel assured of my return when
Readiness to rendezvous with you re-emerges from
Deep within my soul as intuitively as had been true before this
Most welcome change in my life had reason to stir conflict within
Subconscious thinking patterns, which had
Shaped my mind sets for most of my life:
Once my old mind set has had time to expand enough to absorb
This amazing creature, whose presence stirs
An all consuming, organic reaction within my entire being
A portion of my energy will free itself to
Refuel the storytelling portion of my mind, meaning that
When next you hear from me
My mind, heart and spirit will have naturally, thus comfortably
Integrated the organic presence of this delightful creature in with
Everyone and everything I value in life ...
I mean, seriously, though my love for Ravi
Ran deep, right off the bat, deeper truth suggests that
Falling in love, anew, does not displace
Everyone I'd loved and everything that had meant
The world to me before Lady Luck
Smiled in my direction, proclaiming me to be
The lucky duck, whom I've known myself to be, repeatedly
On the other hand, let's review
One insight gleaned from yesterday's paper:
Rather than dwelling on mental rituals and unfulfilled wishes
Know that good luck and hard work are one and the same ...
Suggesting that once I've taken the time to
Absorb Ravi's presence into my heart and mind, along with
Everyone and everything I love, balance will return, and
So will I ... seemingly the same, while knowing, full well
That the inherent beauty of this miraculous experience
Will have changed life, as I'd known it, for the better, yet again
And as today's train of thought pulls into the station where
My mind plans to vacation for an undetermined time
Here's my think tank's last insight until
Intuition signals my need to reconnect and
Pick up where we're about to leave off:
It's been my experience that anything catalyzing
Change for the better, over the long run, all around, is
Worth repeating, whenever possible, for this reason:
Each time fate offers me an experience, which
Expands my awareness of love's positive impact upon
My life as a whole, some aspect of my thinking process matures ...
And thus does it seem best to free my think tank to follow this
Natural bent in the road, which
Intuition has been prodding my besotted mind to
Focus upon ever since Fate blessed my life with Ravi's presence
And if you ask what makes me so sure that
Once my sense of internal balance returns ... so will I, I'd reply:
It's been my history to trust the potent powers of intuitive thought and
Intuition suggests that I care too deeply about
Our friendship, across the miles, to bid you a final good bye ...
So, fare thee well, my friend, till readiness reawakens my
Natural inclination to resume where we left off before
My newfound love for Ravi had seemingly consumed
Heart, mind, spirit and soul :)
PS
Though I'd planned to end this post with a heartwarming photo
My iPad has stubbornly refused to comply, so as soon as
I find time to go to my computer, I'll complete today's post, which
Reminds us of this fact of life:
Change is the only constant in life, and inevitably
Conflict, which accompanies change, is sure to complicate
The status quo that came before, and if—in my eagerness to
Wholly embrace this wondrous aura of wide-eyed innocence—I
Feel compelled to take a time out from life as
I knew it before change came knocking at our door
It makes sense to acknowledge this fact, as well:
Inner conflict must be resolved before change for the better
Holds hands with peace of mind, at last—until such time as
Another unexpected change catalyzes inner conflict to arise, yet again ...
And if you ask why change and conflict are necessary to personal growth
I'd reply:
Either we grow all the wiser by consciously seeking to
Expand our sense of depth awareness by diving ever more deeply into
Unexplored fathoms of self discovery as
We mature throughout each stage of life
or
We shrink back from adventuring forth upon the path, which offers us
Untold opportunities to re-evaluate old mind sets that limit our
Innate ability to uncover strengths, which remain untapped, unless
We grow conscious of our need to choose to embrace
A series of leaps of faith, which implies the necessity to
Muster the courage to leave old comfort zones behind at
Every stage of life in favor of advancing toward
Personal growth in every arena of love and life...
PSS
As several hours have passed since this post was published
Here I am, as promised, inserting the adorable photo that
Steven emailed, this morning, and
When your eyes drink in Ravi's sweet, wide-eyed innocence
I believe you'll understand why her presence in my life
Melts my heart with so much gladness that I can actually feel
My spirit glowing with the incandescent warmth, inherent in pure delight, and
Feeling utterly re-energized from the inside out, I find myself accomplishing
Everyday tasks with gusto because, upon arising, each morning
Ravi's brand new gramma feels younger than Springtime, 24/7, and
Though it's hard to argue with an expanded sense of awareness as wondrous as that
I hope my compelling need for time out—while my mind adjusts to
Absorbing the gift of Ravi in with every aspect of my life—proves
Smooth and swift for this reason:
Though it's my choice to separate, I'll miss my connection with you more than words can say :)
Ravi's shayna punim
2 months old
2 adorable for words
Lucky me :)
No comments:
Post a Comment