Sooo ... let's see if a story opens up on its own if I just start writing whatever comes to mind ...
My oldest son, a bachelor, is dating a woman with two munchkins, ages barely three and just past one. Lately, he's been calling the child whisperer for advice.
It's my guess that's how my son thinks of me, because he grew up in a home where children were taught that compassion for a siblings feelings received accolades, whereas swinging bats at each other's vulnerabilities received consequences. In the house where 'my three sons' grew from munchkins to manhood, adults did not place small fry in the hot seat or whip round balls into square pegs. Instead, all three were treated like big fish in that each line cast in hopes of reeling them in encouraged small fry to develop a boatload of personal strengths. While growing toward adulthood, one day at a time, each child FELT encouraged to view himself and each other as a unique individual, meaning that the leader, encouraging each one to feel natural in his own skin, was not looking to clone a matched set. In this house, we learned how to celebrate each other's achievements and supported each other when bereavement followed loss. In this house, family life revolved around enriching our minds by developing a mutually respectful understanding of each others' ups and down.
If asked how positive discipline got its start in our home, I'd reply ... the adult in charge of modeling self control for a trio of munchkins got lucky while sitting on a park bench, lamenting the fact that she was close to losing her mind. The fact that this adult admitted to having no clue what to do allowed her neighbor to offer a suggestion that made more sense than anything this young parent had ever heard. And low and behold, after taking her neighbor's suggestion to heart, the inventive minds of single purposed munchkins chose to follow their leader—cooperatively, which differs greatly from obediently.
When asked why that about face came to pass, I smile while replying ...Once this child-whisperer-in-training recognized the difference between creating a high spirited sense of cooperation vs. wrestling a resentful attitude of obedience to the mat, she challenged herself to stay on top of a brand new game. And the name of this positively focused game was and is: Win Win :)
Before I offer you examples of how this particular child whisperer reeled in such a fruitful catch, it may be helpful to show you how she retrained her brain :) So with brain training in mind, let's return to that bench at the park, which I'd mentioned in post 620: ANNIE BECOMES MOM OF TWO Chapter one.
Imagine me as a twenty something, stymied mom of two munchkins.
One munchkin is two and a half years old
The second is less than one
I'm sitting on a park bench next to a neighbor
This neighbor has one little girl, who is the same age as my second son
If you wonder why a veteran like me would take advice from a rookie
Then you're missing a vital piece of the picture I'm painting:
You see, during the first few years of parenthood, we're all rookies
Therefore reflection deems it wise for every rookie on the bench
To open eyes, ears and mind to seriously consider any suggestion
Hinting at knowledge that's passed from mouth to mouth
Today, I thank my lucky stars ...
For choosing to retrain my brain
By opening both eyes, both ears
And the intelligent side of my mind rather than
Listening to my neighbor
With an attitude of egocentric, closed minded negativity
And now—let's leap forward at least a decade on the time line from
When I was rookie on the bench
Toward a time in my life
When the inventive side of my mind had worked patiently
To become a certified family communication's instructor ...
Honored to have been featured as
Keynote speaker at
The International Association of Nannies ...
BTW ... I chose to throw that detail in so you'd accept my credibility
Without feeling a need to take you through
Twenty five years of my professional life ...
Though, over time, each of those years is bound to show up
On your screen within a post yet to come :)
My oldest son, a bachelor, is dating a woman with two munchkins, ages barely three and just past one. Lately, he's been calling the child whisperer for advice.
It's my guess that's how my son thinks of me, because he grew up in a home where children were taught that compassion for a siblings feelings received accolades, whereas swinging bats at each other's vulnerabilities received consequences. In the house where 'my three sons' grew from munchkins to manhood, adults did not place small fry in the hot seat or whip round balls into square pegs. Instead, all three were treated like big fish in that each line cast in hopes of reeling them in encouraged small fry to develop a boatload of personal strengths. While growing toward adulthood, one day at a time, each child FELT encouraged to view himself and each other as a unique individual, meaning that the leader, encouraging each one to feel natural in his own skin, was not looking to clone a matched set. In this house, we learned how to celebrate each other's achievements and supported each other when bereavement followed loss. In this house, family life revolved around enriching our minds by developing a mutually respectful understanding of each others' ups and down.
If asked how positive discipline got its start in our home, I'd reply ... the adult in charge of modeling self control for a trio of munchkins got lucky while sitting on a park bench, lamenting the fact that she was close to losing her mind. The fact that this adult admitted to having no clue what to do allowed her neighbor to offer a suggestion that made more sense than anything this young parent had ever heard. And low and behold, after taking her neighbor's suggestion to heart, the inventive minds of single purposed munchkins chose to follow their leader—cooperatively, which differs greatly from obediently.
When asked why that about face came to pass, I smile while replying ...Once this child-whisperer-in-training recognized the difference between creating a high spirited sense of cooperation vs. wrestling a resentful attitude of obedience to the mat, she challenged herself to stay on top of a brand new game. And the name of this positively focused game was and is: Win Win :)
Before I offer you examples of how this particular child whisperer reeled in such a fruitful catch, it may be helpful to show you how she retrained her brain :) So with brain training in mind, let's return to that bench at the park, which I'd mentioned in post 620: ANNIE BECOMES MOM OF TWO Chapter one.
Imagine me as a twenty something, stymied mom of two munchkins.
One munchkin is two and a half years old
The second is less than one
I'm sitting on a park bench next to a neighbor
This neighbor has one little girl, who is the same age as my second son
If you wonder why a veteran like me would take advice from a rookie
Then you're missing a vital piece of the picture I'm painting:
You see, during the first few years of parenthood, we're all rookies
Therefore reflection deems it wise for every rookie on the bench
To open eyes, ears and mind to seriously consider any suggestion
Hinting at knowledge that's passed from mouth to mouth
Today, I thank my lucky stars ...
For choosing to retrain my brain
By opening both eyes, both ears
And the intelligent side of my mind rather than
Listening to my neighbor
With an attitude of egocentric, closed minded negativity
And now—let's leap forward at least a decade on the time line from
When I was rookie on the bench
Toward a time in my life
When the inventive side of my mind had worked patiently
To become a certified family communication's instructor ...
Honored to have been featured as
Keynote speaker at
The International Association of Nannies ...
BTW ... I chose to throw that detail in so you'd accept my credibility
Without feeling a need to take you through
Twenty five years of my professional life ...
Though, over time, each of those years is bound to show up
On your screen within a post yet to come :)
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