At first, as you watch, I'll wander onto a dark, scary path inside my head, which will actually be a mind maze, where no window or exit sign will appear for decades to come—until I begin to write my story at which time the emergence of strings of insight will have begun to spotlight forgotten details, which, will highlight dark experiences that had intensified my insecurity.
The retrieval of these forgotten details will brighten my conscious awareness of my intuitive need to leave the (brow) beaten path behind in favor of concentrating all of my mental energy upon carving out a detailed, existential existence of my own by choosing to seek out professional guidance in hopes of understanding the mind maze that had messed with the clarity of my thought processor—repeatedly.
As you watch the naïveté of a deeply confused, eleven year old girl grow toward adulthood, my sensitivities will begin to embrace the importance of mindfulness concerning self awareness. And I believe that while watching me grow up, you, too, will gain insight into the wisdom of seeking out the astute nature of psychological help that encouraged me to develop into the strong spirited, insight-driven, self aware woman, whom I freely choose to be, today.
With time, I believe you will come to see how determined my brain had to be to gain access to the key ring that holds key details, each of which proved necessary to opening my mind, repeatedly, to my need to brighten my sense of clarity concerning how best to heal the wounded portions of my self image, which had darkened when my budding self esteem had unwittingly begun to bear several heavy burdens within the subconscious portion of my brain as proves true of countless children, who carry huge portions of undeserved guilt wherever they go, because they have no clue of having been innocent of serious wrong doing while they were raised by adults whose poor choice of behavior and insulting words proved every bit as immature as is true of power-struggling children whose tunnel vision concentrates solely upon winning whenever two opposing mindsets remain embroiled in a conflict, irregardless of negative consequences, which are sure to break every heart that remains engaged in power plays till bitterness grows so huge on both sides that love can no longer scale the barbed walls that arise and thicken beyond all attempts to dismantle them in hopes of healing a deeply wounded relationship, which had once felt secure until a conflict of needs or a misunderstanding aroused two dueling defense systems to tear a sadly confounded relationship apart—as is about to happen to the tender hearted friendship between a pair of star crossed sixth graders once Annie has been kissed by Joseph …
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