ON READINESS TO PASS THE BATON OF FAMILIAL LEADERSHIP

So, yesterday, I wrote about preparedness sparking self confidence, and as one insight leads to more, I’ve come to understand that having never been challenged by a prognosis of stage four cancer, I’ve been feeling utterly unprepared to handle such a dire situation, knowing there’s nothing I can do to improve it.

In fact whenever I’m not reading one light-weight novel after another, my imagination, if left on its own, conjures up scenarios fraught with tumors emerging, here, there, everywhere.  And that makes me think I have to truly train my mind to focus on each day as it comes without expecting myself look ahead while maintaining my role as my family’s guiding light.  

The reality of this life threatening illness has challenged my self image to change my perspective concerning my life-long role as an over-achiever.  As you can imagine, it’s not easy to relax my brain and just go with the flow. On the other hand, with that insight in mind, it may be time to pass the baton of familial leadership that’s been mine ever since the birth of my trio of sons.

Actually, having gained insight into my need to embrace such a mind-blowing change has freed a sense of inner conflict to emerge, offering all of me sound reason to release a heartfelt sigh of relief concerning letting go of the stressed sense of emotional tension that I’ve been carrying inside my head as of late.  And having identified this reason for mental conflict, my sense of wholeness, newly regained, encourages me to believe that my processor (which has felt stuck in a rut for weeks) may actually be gearing up to near a clearing where my discombobulated sense of mental fatigue can turn off its motor, relax and recoup energy spent while spinning its wheels, getting nowhere other than remaining caught in a bog.  And if it’s true that an intensely stressed sense of subconscious conflict is in the process of being replaced by a mindful awareness of clarity spotlighting my need to stop my brain from shifting into overdrive then implementing my plan to pass the baton of leadership over to these four men in whom I place my trust will offer my over-taxed processor the freedom to relax in the passenger seat and re-energize, all in my own good time.  Whew! 

Annie

Have you read Jonathan Livingston Seagull?

Once the lead bird tires and begins to fall back, the formation of the flock changes ever so slightly in that the strength of another bird’s wing span flies straight into the headwind while, for the most part, the original leader coasts on the backdraft so naturally that these birds of a feather instinctively continue to fly—through blue skies or windswept storms—together, leaving no one behind to fend for himself.