AND YET AGAIN, PEACE OF MIND IS MINE FOR A SPELL

At the age of 46, I’d had no conscious clue that by my next birthday, while enjoying a film class, my good girl persona (which I’d believed was true of me, through and through) would step aside, challenging me to think for myself about the lifelong repression of my unmet needs, which, suddenly, felt so ripe for personal fulfillment that I had need to develop a courageous (yet respectful) voice in order to verbalize emotional reactions, which, during this late blooming growth spurt, had seen me rebelling against my persona’s complicit attitude of congenial complacency concerning the classic belief that a man’s home is his castle—suggesting not that his wife is Queen but rather chattel—suggesting that discussions concerning her unmet needs had been received as little more than chatter meant to go into one ear and out the other as soon as the air was, once again, quiet—except for the voices of sports announcers on cable TV.

I had no clue that, as one change leads to more, all of my relationships were about to shift into gear (inclusive of my relationship with me), because in addition to cheerfully (unconsciously) ‘serving’ my husband’s every need for 25 years, I’d agreeably placed my needs aside, respecting those of my loved ones more than my own.  And though, over time, our family experienced countless changes for the better, we’d remained unaware of the fact that growing pains accompany growth spurts, all around.

Human nature’s struggle with dominance, subservience and equality demands that each of us must consciously come to know when it feels necessary (if not yet natural) to liberate oneself from being dominated by social convention at each next stage of life, and having, once again, liberated my mind’s comfort zone from remaining stuck in yesteryear’s rut, my mind feels peaceful, because I’ve concluded that—.

Whoops!  I’m getting way ahead of the story that had, until recently, remained firmly stuck inside my mind, so after offering you my most recent health update, back to high school, we’ll go …

🙋🏻‍♀️Annie