Though my intuitive powers continue to be quiet, my oncologist cared enough to reach out to say that no existence of recurring tumor had been found once the results of my chest CT scan had been read. As Will and I had expected to hear nothing until my back-to-back doctors appointments on Monday, our mutual sense of relief was happily surprised to receive such good news on the very same day that the CT scan had been taken.
With my PET scan appointment scheduled for this afternoon, let’s hope that once the radiologist will have read and reported the results of today’s full body scan, Will and I will be given sound reason to rejoice, having been offered the same great news as we’d received following yesterday’s CT scan of my chest.
Once again, the mind works in mysterious ways. You’d think that having received yesterday’s positive report, I’d feel calm while the passage of morning hours will have led up to this afternoon’s PET scan; however, much to my surprise, ever since awakening at 7am, anxiety has been my constant companion though, certainly not by choice. And as my hyper state of mind has found it impossible to settle into anything resembling an angle of repose, I offered my overactive adrenalin glands an Ativan washed down with water in hopes of calming the overflow of adrenalin racing through my blood stream before this utterly unexpected, physically symptomatic reaction to fear has gained complete control over my thought processor.
I mean, seriously—alongside a high strung filly, named Anxiety, whose ability to stay on track is far from stellar, we see my strong sense of positively focused Hope picking up her pace until this pair of opposing reactions are seen running neck to neck round the bend inside my head, and as Hope takes the lead, and if Hope is my horse with Ativan as my jockey then I plan to bet on this pair running at such a well balanced gait as to cross the finish line feeling cool as a cucumber way before Anxiety has been able to get her bearings straight.
Having experienced several of Cancer’s failed attempts to break my spirit, I get along with a little help from my friends, which, like the National Guard, are called upon only as needed to help me regain peace of mind.
Whew! I really appreciate your lending your ear once my intuitive voice felt need to say its piece—actually, with a little help from all of my friends, human, prescriptive or imaginative, my belief in calming my mind so as to adopt a Hopeful attitude empowers my sense of wholeness to feel so much more at peace.
In fact, every time I’ve been wheeled into Mayo to submit to yet another testing procedure that may lead to additional surgery, I, like Hope, feel as cool as a cucumber sporting salt and peppered hair, which feels a lot better than vegging at home with no hair, at all!
Annie
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