SUBTLE MIND GAMES THAT NICE PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THEY PLAY

With snow bird friends and family in town, my week has felt complicated, as love, tension, frustration, compassion and grief feel like a crunchy mix of confusion revolving around inside my head.  And as any extended state of confusion feels ‘unsafe’, I’ve anxiously been subconsciously navigating my way, very cautiously, through identifying mind games that ALL people play, concerning, who’s in charge of decisions that are clearly mine to make.

Having gained insight into mind games initiated by dear friends and family who cannot  acknowledge much less respect my boundaries (so strong is their need to assume control over all), frees my smarts to set a goal of my own:

Rather than feeling put upon, drained and exhausted, I’ve been on the alert to remain focused upon maintaining a quiet sense of self respectful assertiveness so as not to be suddenly voiceless whenever a force of nature offers up a mixed message, which ultimately ignores my clearly expressed, personal needs.

Wow!  Hopefully, having consciously identified this insight-driven awareness, my personal sense of peaceful repose will be restored no matter how subtly a control freak attempts to unseat my intuitive sense of balance, yet again.  Though it’s far from easy to be at the top of my game (concerning seeking insight driven awareness) when I’ve been unwell for more than two years, that plan continues to serve me well, again and again.

Off the top of my head, my primary goal is to continue to express my needs so clearly, calmly and lovingly as to maintain a personal stance without offending anyone whose defense system can dish it out but can’t graciously accept anything that whispers of an opposing opinion, suggesting my making use of ‘I messages’ and large dollops of heartfelt patience each time a mixed message pops out of  a loved one’s mouth.

With thanks to my dear friend Susan for making me consciously aware of my need to clarify my primary goal (which is to do my best to keep the peace while maintaining my position (and my friendships), it’s highly unlikely that I’ll feel drained, or exhausted, because with insight spotlighting my chosen path, I’ve already relieved my mind of lugging around a confounding weight.  You see, with growth in self awareness concerning my need of clarity, no one can bully me, ever so subtly, without my permission.

Bottom line, I’m determined to make good use of diplomacy while relaxing with beloved family and treasured friends, many of whom have grown older and thus feel as crunchy headed as is true of me   🙋🏻‍♀️Annie