In answer to yesterday’s riddle, I’ve come to see that
Rather than relishing the serene nature of tranquility
My longing for peace of mind had grown so great during
The weeks of Will’s illness as to have aroused
My defense system, which, over these past several days, had
Deceived me into misperceiving mental exhaustion for
Serenity until yesterday morning when, upon
Awakening as though from a dream state, I sensed
The conscious portion of my brain engaging with
Intuitive thought flashing its spotlight of
Insight around the inner sanctum of my mind until
It lit up and held fast to this reality: Over these past several days
I’d misled myself into 'seeing' stress-related exhaustion as
Being at one with tranquility, because I could no longer tolerate
The build up of subconscious impatience with a month’s worth of
Tension that was uncoiling much too slowly, and thus did
Repressed impatience stimulate my defense system to fool
The conscious portion of my exhausted mind into believing that
I’d by-passed the step-by-step process of de-stressing (after Will’s
Kidney stones were surgically removed) until
My thoroughly exhausted source of energy, having had time to
Refuel, re-awakened my conscious awareness from
Its stupor, freeing my intelligence to absorb the fact that
No one leaps from weeks of stress-induced tension toward
Fully relaxed tranquility in one fell swoop—and with
The emergence of that insight concerning deeper truth brightening
Today’s train of thought, my change in attitude, coupling with
Common sense, will encourage my spirit to coast patiently in
A positively focused direction while my conscious state of
Awareness continues to progress, day by day, toward
Regaining its natural sense of clarity concerning my desire to
Wholly (slowly) immerse myself within a pool of
Tension-free tranquility—and hopefully once a serene state of
Personal well-being is mine, memory will open its door and
Graciously invite our minds to glide gracefully into
My distant past at a fully relaxed pace—
Ohhmmm
PS
I just read today’s post aloud to Will, who chuckled while
Expressing his perception of my natural state of mind:
“Annie, the only time your mind is tranquil is
When you’re under anesthesia—“
As Will’s reaction stimulated my processor to
Switch tracks from Ohhmmm to Hmmm in a flash
I found myself LOL!
After which, this insight flashed through my mind:
Tis better by far to mistake an exhausted stupor for tranquility rather
Than mistaking exhaustion for depression, which
Consumes mind and spirit within a subconscious state of
Gloom and doom—And though it's true that Will’s kidney stones
Weighed heavy on my mind, no dark cloud of gloom and doom
Threatened to swallow the strength of my spirit suggesting why
Today’s last insight has just inspired my processor to
Switch tracks from Hmmm to Ohhmmm in record time :)
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