Now that we're in our seventies, reality suggests acknowledging the fact that more of our loved ones have begun to struggle with illnesses that medical science is not yet empowered to heal. Sadly, Will and I have two memorial services to attend this week. So, as long as many of us are still favored with good health, making traveling possible, I plan to nourish my spirit by enjoying my golden years, basking in the company of those I love most, both near and far.
(Then, feeling pensive, my voice grew quiet as intuitive thought offered my heart-mind connection reason to absorb this next string of insights more deeply than ever before: For the most part, I've found that while offering love, openly, thus naturally (at times, even lavishly), nourishes my spirit, the source of this well-spring of love seems to rejuvenate the spirits of each recipient, whose intuition 'knows', without a shadow of doubt, that my attentiveness has not one iota of artificiality, because the depth of my ability to shower a person with love proves so free of defensiveness as to ensure that whatever I choose to say and do flows freely, straight from my heart. And here's how I know that insight is true: Ever since my need to deepen my quest for self awareness emerged from within, my mind-heart connection has had sound reason to strengthen. And guess what happens each time intuitive thought suggests the time is ripe to take another courageous leap of faith past anxiety, based in defensive fears, which had limited my choices? Eventually, I reap just rewards, which, 'intuitive truth' had 'known' to be mine to enjoy, all along. And with generosity of spirit leading the way, loved ones partake in these same rewards, because magically, the well of true love, flowing freely back and forth, never runs dry.)
While the latter portion of that insight, concerning reality, offered my mind reason to focus in on the positive, a seriously pensive expression had settled heavily on my treasured friend's face, and as she and her daughter had both experienced frightening battles with cancer, as recently as had Will ... I'd hoped to lighten the fact that we can't know when sudden illness or irretrievable loss may call our names by saying: Thank God, we're still here! If ever the time was ripe for each of us to make the most of the present, it's now. Then, with thoughts of having spent time in intensive care, thrice, myself, my voice resumed speaking aloud: Let's not allow dark clouds of fear to overshadow life's gift of good fortune, which offers us time to enjoy good health and each other's company, neath today's sunny, blue skies. With that, I watched my friend's spirit re-energize, and as her smile reconnected, naturally, with mine, suggesting our being on the same wave length, again, our smiles reflected the heartfelt spontaneity of each other's warm hug.
If 'attitude is everything' then you can see why I feel thankful for each moment when intuitive thought guides my smarts to adopt a positively focused viewpoint, concerning life's most heart-piercing realities, and knowing, full well, that the development of this change for the better, concerning my attitude, demands patience on the part of my conscious mind, I'll choose to concentrate my focus on identifying and accepting the positive features of aging, because this conscious adjustment in my attitude proves to be a step by step process, suggesting my need to develop a determined state of mind until change for the better has been thoroughly absorbed within my newly expanded frame of mind.
Next thing we knew, a lively discussion ensued, concerning the European river trip that we felt eager to plan, along with a third couple, dear friends, also from college days, with whom Will and I have enjoyed lots of time over these past several weeks, because I'm referencing the pair of snowbirds from Washington state, whom we'd happily fetched from the airport on New Year's Day. And lucky for us, this treasured couple have fallen in love with wintering not too far from our home, suggesting why a contract, duplicating this year's plan, has been signed, noting their decision to winter, here, from January through March of 2017. Hooray!
See why I say that we, who age with good health, financial security and positively focused attitudes intact, find ourselves blessed with freedoms, which youth (working industriously to earn their keep), can only dream of enjoying after decades of birthdays add up ... And with that thought in mind, concerning the necessity of listening attentively for those times when a flash of intuitive thought shines the bright light of insight upon an open-minded plan that will better your personal lot in life as well as mine, here's my compensation for having blown out more birthday candles than I can believe: Each time insight highlights another cloudy aspect of negatively focused clutter, hiding within a subconscious pocket in my mind, my new sense of clarity chooses to replace self imposed limits (based in undeserved guilt, left unresolved since childhood), with an open-minded and thus expanding sense of freedom, which offers my sunny nature reason to reconsider a host of personal, unmet needs with a newly brightened sense of self respect, and as this enhanced sense of self respect tends to spark attentiveness to creative thought, guess what my intuitive thought process envisions next? The simplicity (or revision) of a plan that satisfies a long-lasting unmet need, and each time I think to disarm my latent (childhood) fear of disappointing those I love, the assertive stance of my sixth sense gives voice to the fact that my self respect for the adult, whom the wounded child has grown to be, has had sound reason to strengthen, again.
Each time my faith in revising a flawed plan meets with success, my smile has sound reason to sparkle ever more deeply from inside out, suggesting why recent decisions, which had once aroused anxiety (based in inner conflict, resultant of self doubt), have come to feel beyond reproach, so ... every time a flash of intuitive insight lightens a sense of heaviness that I'd unknowingly lugged around, subconsciously, since childhood, my adult intelligence feels free to embrace yet another opportunity to grow practiced at replacing the pain of closed-minded, inner conflict with a rebalanced sense of adopting an open minded attitude, which frees my creative juices to produce a positively focused change. And once positive focus is mine, intuitive thought guides my conscious mind to seek insight until each next missing piece of the puzzle, concerning my long-lost sense of inner peace is exposed. And each time another lost piece of inner peace has been rightfully reclaimed, guess what enjoys a relaxing sense of repose (more thoroughly than had been possible when defensive denial had blinded my awareness from clearly seeing the bigger picture of the whole/some adult, whom the wounded child has chosen to grow up to be)? My soul.
As you've watched me soul searching, over these past several years (in hopes of knowing myself well enough to heal those wounded portions of self esteem, which had caused negative focus to turn in on myself, during childhood), I believe you can understand why my heart over flows with gratitude each time the sum of my personal strengths has sound reason to say: Amen to the emergence of each inter-related string of insights, which proves personally enriching whenever my attentiveness to intuitive thought releases a stream of consciousness that serves to shine the bright light of insight upon how best to improve my current state of being once another negatively focused attitude, buried within a subconscious pocket of my psyche since childhood, has been identified and exorcized.
Thank goodness, I've come to understand that each negative attitude (left in its unidentified state, unconsciously feeds my sense of inner conflict, today.
Thank goodness, my sixth sense guided my conscious mind to comprehend which experiences had catalyzed my struggle with hyper-vigilance, born of anxiety, due to self doubt, concerning my fear of disappointing those I love.
Thank goodness, I've reclaimed the portion of my self-assertive voice, which, eons ago, self doubt had swallowed, whole.
Thank goodness, sudden spikes of anxiety have been disempowered by my sense of clarity, concerning one thing leading to the next—suggesting that self doubt has lost its power to disrupt my think tank's ability to seek solutions at times when intelligent thought must subdue subconscious fear, which had refused to unchain my heart, no matter how often intuitive thought prodded my conscious mind to wholly embrace a deeply deserved sense of freedom to rejoice when my decision-making process chooses to satisfy a uniquely personal, unmet need ... and as the learning curve never comes full circle, I have opened my mind to oxygenating each next adventure into the great unknown by accepting this fact of life well lived: There will be times when my struggle with self doubt will arise, so it's good to know that I shoulder much more in the way of personal strengths, today, than subconscious burden, which having weighed heavily on my mind, caused my spirit to flag at half mast—Whew! Oh—wait ... what's that I hear? Dear friends are stirring, suggesting my posting this re-edit without checking for errors until sometime later, if not today, then tomorrow ...
(Then, feeling pensive, my voice grew quiet as intuitive thought offered my heart-mind connection reason to absorb this next string of insights more deeply than ever before: For the most part, I've found that while offering love, openly, thus naturally (at times, even lavishly), nourishes my spirit, the source of this well-spring of love seems to rejuvenate the spirits of each recipient, whose intuition 'knows', without a shadow of doubt, that my attentiveness has not one iota of artificiality, because the depth of my ability to shower a person with love proves so free of defensiveness as to ensure that whatever I choose to say and do flows freely, straight from my heart. And here's how I know that insight is true: Ever since my need to deepen my quest for self awareness emerged from within, my mind-heart connection has had sound reason to strengthen. And guess what happens each time intuitive thought suggests the time is ripe to take another courageous leap of faith past anxiety, based in defensive fears, which had limited my choices? Eventually, I reap just rewards, which, 'intuitive truth' had 'known' to be mine to enjoy, all along. And with generosity of spirit leading the way, loved ones partake in these same rewards, because magically, the well of true love, flowing freely back and forth, never runs dry.)
While the latter portion of that insight, concerning reality, offered my mind reason to focus in on the positive, a seriously pensive expression had settled heavily on my treasured friend's face, and as she and her daughter had both experienced frightening battles with cancer, as recently as had Will ... I'd hoped to lighten the fact that we can't know when sudden illness or irretrievable loss may call our names by saying: Thank God, we're still here! If ever the time was ripe for each of us to make the most of the present, it's now. Then, with thoughts of having spent time in intensive care, thrice, myself, my voice resumed speaking aloud: Let's not allow dark clouds of fear to overshadow life's gift of good fortune, which offers us time to enjoy good health and each other's company, neath today's sunny, blue skies. With that, I watched my friend's spirit re-energize, and as her smile reconnected, naturally, with mine, suggesting our being on the same wave length, again, our smiles reflected the heartfelt spontaneity of each other's warm hug.
If 'attitude is everything' then you can see why I feel thankful for each moment when intuitive thought guides my smarts to adopt a positively focused viewpoint, concerning life's most heart-piercing realities, and knowing, full well, that the development of this change for the better, concerning my attitude, demands patience on the part of my conscious mind, I'll choose to concentrate my focus on identifying and accepting the positive features of aging, because this conscious adjustment in my attitude proves to be a step by step process, suggesting my need to develop a determined state of mind until change for the better has been thoroughly absorbed within my newly expanded frame of mind.
Next thing we knew, a lively discussion ensued, concerning the European river trip that we felt eager to plan, along with a third couple, dear friends, also from college days, with whom Will and I have enjoyed lots of time over these past several weeks, because I'm referencing the pair of snowbirds from Washington state, whom we'd happily fetched from the airport on New Year's Day. And lucky for us, this treasured couple have fallen in love with wintering not too far from our home, suggesting why a contract, duplicating this year's plan, has been signed, noting their decision to winter, here, from January through March of 2017. Hooray!
See why I say that we, who age with good health, financial security and positively focused attitudes intact, find ourselves blessed with freedoms, which youth (working industriously to earn their keep), can only dream of enjoying after decades of birthdays add up ... And with that thought in mind, concerning the necessity of listening attentively for those times when a flash of intuitive thought shines the bright light of insight upon an open-minded plan that will better your personal lot in life as well as mine, here's my compensation for having blown out more birthday candles than I can believe: Each time insight highlights another cloudy aspect of negatively focused clutter, hiding within a subconscious pocket in my mind, my new sense of clarity chooses to replace self imposed limits (based in undeserved guilt, left unresolved since childhood), with an open-minded and thus expanding sense of freedom, which offers my sunny nature reason to reconsider a host of personal, unmet needs with a newly brightened sense of self respect, and as this enhanced sense of self respect tends to spark attentiveness to creative thought, guess what my intuitive thought process envisions next? The simplicity (or revision) of a plan that satisfies a long-lasting unmet need, and each time I think to disarm my latent (childhood) fear of disappointing those I love, the assertive stance of my sixth sense gives voice to the fact that my self respect for the adult, whom the wounded child has grown to be, has had sound reason to strengthen, again.
Each time my faith in revising a flawed plan meets with success, my smile has sound reason to sparkle ever more deeply from inside out, suggesting why recent decisions, which had once aroused anxiety (based in inner conflict, resultant of self doubt), have come to feel beyond reproach, so ... every time a flash of intuitive insight lightens a sense of heaviness that I'd unknowingly lugged around, subconsciously, since childhood, my adult intelligence feels free to embrace yet another opportunity to grow practiced at replacing the pain of closed-minded, inner conflict with a rebalanced sense of adopting an open minded attitude, which frees my creative juices to produce a positively focused change. And once positive focus is mine, intuitive thought guides my conscious mind to seek insight until each next missing piece of the puzzle, concerning my long-lost sense of inner peace is exposed. And each time another lost piece of inner peace has been rightfully reclaimed, guess what enjoys a relaxing sense of repose (more thoroughly than had been possible when defensive denial had blinded my awareness from clearly seeing the bigger picture of the whole/some adult, whom the wounded child has chosen to grow up to be)? My soul.
As you've watched me soul searching, over these past several years (in hopes of knowing myself well enough to heal those wounded portions of self esteem, which had caused negative focus to turn in on myself, during childhood), I believe you can understand why my heart over flows with gratitude each time the sum of my personal strengths has sound reason to say: Amen to the emergence of each inter-related string of insights, which proves personally enriching whenever my attentiveness to intuitive thought releases a stream of consciousness that serves to shine the bright light of insight upon how best to improve my current state of being once another negatively focused attitude, buried within a subconscious pocket of my psyche since childhood, has been identified and exorcized.
Thank goodness, I've come to understand that each negative attitude (left in its unidentified state, unconsciously feeds my sense of inner conflict, today.
Thank goodness, my sixth sense guided my conscious mind to comprehend which experiences had catalyzed my struggle with hyper-vigilance, born of anxiety, due to self doubt, concerning my fear of disappointing those I love.
Thank goodness, I've reclaimed the portion of my self-assertive voice, which, eons ago, self doubt had swallowed, whole.
Thank goodness, sudden spikes of anxiety have been disempowered by my sense of clarity, concerning one thing leading to the next—suggesting that self doubt has lost its power to disrupt my think tank's ability to seek solutions at times when intelligent thought must subdue subconscious fear, which had refused to unchain my heart, no matter how often intuitive thought prodded my conscious mind to wholly embrace a deeply deserved sense of freedom to rejoice when my decision-making process chooses to satisfy a uniquely personal, unmet need ... and as the learning curve never comes full circle, I have opened my mind to oxygenating each next adventure into the great unknown by accepting this fact of life well lived: There will be times when my struggle with self doubt will arise, so it's good to know that I shoulder much more in the way of personal strengths, today, than subconscious burden, which having weighed heavily on my mind, caused my spirit to flag at half mast—Whew! Oh—wait ... what's that I hear? Dear friends are stirring, suggesting my posting this re-edit without checking for errors until sometime later, if not today, then tomorrow ...
... So—here it is—a bit later, when, unexpectedly, time to enjoy your company opened up.
However, rather than editing, I feel like voicing an appreciative sense of my good fortune, because guess who just Face-timed her gramma (with 'help' from her doting daddy)? Yep ... Ravi. Steven says that if Ravi had magically developed the power of speech, over night, she'd ask to sleep at Gramma's, tonight, because at the crack of dawn, tomorrow morning, a construction crew plans to execute some exceptionally noisy work on their backyard pool, which is adjacent to her bedroom window. And as my grand daughter's smiling face spoke through my son's ability to speak, needless to say, my pleasure center laughed aloud as I replied: Of course, you can sleep over, Ravi! Then, as our conversation flowed on, I voiced the fact that our house guests have plans, this evening, with yet another couple, so Will and I plan to double tonight's surprising pleasure by meeting Celina, Steven and Ravi for dinner at a nearby restaurant, which, being owned by our neighbor, feels like our very own, personal Cheers. And thus, once again, does my spirit delight in tonight's unexpected opportunity to blend a brand new love with love that's had reason to thrive, year after year, suggesting why I feel deeply blessed, each time my heightened sense of awareness considers this fact: We who have conscientiously nourished the art of loving, openly, expansively and inclusively (rather than fearfully and defensively, thus exclusively) nurture attitudes, which buoy each other's spirits, and though tis true that as we age, birthdays roll in faster than can be believed, my viewpoints continue to feel, as open minded and youthfully technicolored as springtime—unless a play date with Ravi extends for more than two days in a row, after which my body's energy level, stretched beyond today's natural limits, insists on napping as often as when this gramma had truly been a very sleepy babe in arms.
However, rather than editing, I feel like voicing an appreciative sense of my good fortune, because guess who just Face-timed her gramma (with 'help' from her doting daddy)? Yep ... Ravi. Steven says that if Ravi had magically developed the power of speech, over night, she'd ask to sleep at Gramma's, tonight, because at the crack of dawn, tomorrow morning, a construction crew plans to execute some exceptionally noisy work on their backyard pool, which is adjacent to her bedroom window. And as my grand daughter's smiling face spoke through my son's ability to speak, needless to say, my pleasure center laughed aloud as I replied: Of course, you can sleep over, Ravi! Then, as our conversation flowed on, I voiced the fact that our house guests have plans, this evening, with yet another couple, so Will and I plan to double tonight's surprising pleasure by meeting Celina, Steven and Ravi for dinner at a nearby restaurant, which, being owned by our neighbor, feels like our very own, personal Cheers. And thus, once again, does my spirit delight in tonight's unexpected opportunity to blend a brand new love with love that's had reason to thrive, year after year, suggesting why I feel deeply blessed, each time my heightened sense of awareness considers this fact: We who have conscientiously nourished the art of loving, openly, expansively and inclusively (rather than fearfully and defensively, thus exclusively) nurture attitudes, which buoy each other's spirits, and though tis true that as we age, birthdays roll in faster than can be believed, my viewpoints continue to feel, as open minded and youthfully technicolored as springtime—unless a play date with Ravi extends for more than two days in a row, after which my body's energy level, stretched beyond today's natural limits, insists on napping as often as when this gramma had truly been a very sleepy babe in arms.
Photo taken about ten years ago in Istanbul with our current house guests
(In addition to being our travel companions for these past twenty years
Mr. Mustache doubled with us when Will escorted me to my senior prom)
)
See our snow birds in the middle; couple on the right plan to
Pleasure us as house guests in two weeks (after David flies in and out)
Every bit as animated, today, as when we'd enjoyed each other, fifty years back
Our snow bird friend of fifty-five years (also pictured, above)
A Pair of friends, who have tickled each other's
Funny bones over these past fifty-five years
(Sadly, his wife, one of my closest friends since college
Succumbed to a brain tumor, four years ago, last month ...
Not All friends, over these past fifty-five years, take up golf
(Though the photo is fuzzy, the affection is clear)
Below, behold my forever friends from high school and college days, married to
The guys, pictured above—all of whom chose to fly in from several states
Thirteen years back, adding to the celebratory spirit, permeating
Celina and Steven's wedding—from the left:
First, we see my dear high school friend, who is standing next to
My treasured college friend (who, along with her husband
Plan to be our house guests after David flies in and out )...
Next, you see my friend, who has been deeply missed over these past four years, and
To my right is our snow bird friend, who (along with her husband, pictured with
Will, golf club in hand) has chosen to feather a nest in the desert for
Three winter months, and last but not least, we see
My dear traveling companion, who, having appeared in the first photo, taken in Istanbul
Brings us full circle, concerning this winter's house guests, who plan to unpack and lap up
As many sunny days as their busy calendars (and ours) permit ...
As for now, I don't want to be late for a standing appointment—you see, with house guests coming and going through our revolving door, year after year—we've all come to this understanding: Though flexibility is key to peace of mind, much of Will's daily routine and mine remains unchanged—why? Because it's become clear to one and all that adopting this all-inclusive plan has been founded in common sense. And thus does each person, who flies in to nest with us, feel free to nourish his or her personal comfort level by accepting the fact that all groups (who flock together as do birds of a feather) are made up of individuals, each of whom harbors needs, which differ from one another, suggesting that whether we're enjoying time winging together or apart, our spirit of friendship continues to thrive in an unruffled state, year in and year out ...
Today, upon arising, I found our current guests in the kitchen, enjoying bagels and coffee, gazing, contentedly, through the large picture window at the endless expanse of bright blue sky, which ascends above and beyond the peak of 'my' mountain, as far as the eye can see, and rather than feeling conflicted or guilty about not preparing breakfast, as had been true in the past, when deep inside, I'd taken my role as hostess-with-the-mostest much too seriously, I thanked our friends, good-naturedly for taking such good care of themselves and me—I mean, can you blame me for the fact that upon awakening, well rested, to the aroma of coffee wafting through the air, my pleasure center felt reason to smile? Then, having poured a mug of steaming java for myself, all three of us enjoyed a good laugh after I'd kissed each one, good morning, followed by sniffing their cheeks with a twinkle in my eye, thus sparking their mirth, because they got my meaning, right off the bat—So, do we smell like fish (asked my friends, who'd been house guests for more than three days)? Nope! You still smell like my treasured friends!—Ha! Ha! Then, we proceeded to brainstorm possible plans for the day to come, when Ravi's precious presence dictated that we'd lovingly factor in her needs, which differed from our own.
Oh, BTW, did I tell you that our sons' original plan for our 50th anniversary party has been revised in such a way as to have pleasured spirits, all around? I mean, just because a plan in its original form created conflicts, doesn't mean we need to throw the baby out with the bath water, right?
Once stories of raising siblings (which will showcase simple plans of action that smoothed ruffled feathers each time the eruption of conflict invaded peace of mind) flow freely from a place of stream of consciousness within my mind, you'll see why the pensive nature of intuitive insights, positively focused, solution seeking thought processes, and creative plans of action tend to blend so often with my corny sense of humor as long as negative focus and self doubt are reminded to sit in time out, thus freeing my intelligence to make sound use of my voice, and thus, by way of story telling, will I demonstrate the reasons why each one of my sons developed the common sense to follow a role model, who continues to choose to employ those same strengths each time a new conflict ensues as I age ...
Once stories of raising siblings (which will showcase simple plans of action that smoothed ruffled feathers each time the eruption of conflict invaded peace of mind) flow freely from a place of stream of consciousness within my mind, you'll see why the pensive nature of intuitive insights, positively focused, solution seeking thought processes, and creative plans of action tend to blend so often with my corny sense of humor as long as negative focus and self doubt are reminded to sit in time out, thus freeing my intelligence to make sound use of my voice, and thus, by way of story telling, will I demonstrate the reasons why each one of my sons developed the common sense to follow a role model, who continues to choose to employ those same strengths each time a new conflict ensues as I age ...
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