Wednesday, January 28, 2015

1251. I'M SURPRISED ... BUT NOT REALLY ...

2015
Gosh!
I worked so hard not to do this
Do what?
Take a break from penning my blog
In fact, I'd no clue my mind was made up until
My stylus began to write the first word of today's post
I guess, upon writing 'Gosh'
My power of intuition had flexed its muscles, thus
Dominating the part of my brain that wants to keep writing  ...
Oops! Guess what just happened?
I stopped writing to 'think' about
How best to describe the emotional conflict, which
Compelled me to make a decision that
I've been resisting since Ravi's birth ... and
As soon as I stopped writing to think
My think tank regained control over my brain and
Kicked intuition right out the door, making me wonder if
Intuition is just the kick-starter that alerts my conscious mind to
Awaken to the fact that a change, which
Lady Luck has placed in my lap, is about to
Redirect my think tank to focus my awareness upon
The concept of 'out with the old Annie, in with the new' ...
However, even though a significant change, which remains unnamed
Is underway, please make no mistake—today's train of thought does not
Suggest that upon becoming a brand new Gramma
Your storytelling friend, Annie, has flown the coop, forever
All I'm saying is this:  I feel the need to
Take time out from seeking you out until
My focus has integrated this change, which is
Causing an old, thinking pattern to readjust
And if you ask which mind set is undergoing metamorphosis
I'd reply:  As of yet, I have no clue, because
All I know for certain, right now, is this:
Whichever mindset has been in need of undergoing
Change for the better is still subconscious in nature
And since the greater part of my conscious mind wants
To wallow in euphoria while a smaller portion wants to
Continue to write stories, ladened with insight
I guess intuition felt need to guide me toward
Taking this break until, over time
My present state of inner conflict resolves, naturally, on its own
And if you ask how I know my present state of inner conflict
Is bound to resolve, favorably, I'd reply:
This is not the first time that intuition has compelled me to
Take time out from an activity or person I love, suggesting that
Experience has taught me to take whatever time is needed to
Fully enjoy this first stage of change, which is redirecting
My powers of concentration toward welcoming
This precious sweetheart into the safe haven of my embrace, and
Since my love-struck mind feels too besotted to wrap
A greater portion of concentration around
Any train of thought other than those which express utter delight in
My spirit's high flying feeling of swelling gladness, which
Makes me believe that my heart might burst with joy if
My happiness quotient continues to soar beyond the point of no return
Common sense suggests my wallowing in this wonderous feeling rather
Than allowing resistance to extend inner conflict, longer than necessary
And though, during this first potent stage of love, it may seem as if
The wondrous gift of Ravi's presence in my life has made
Everyone and everything that I adore, somehow
Drop out of sight, here's why, organically, I know differently:
This is not the first time I've felt blessed with this blissfully besotted
Mind boggling effect of love-drunk euphoria, which, at first
Proves all consuming, suggesting my having experienced
The fact that heartfelt euphoria stimulates our spirits to feel
Super human each time we fall head-over-heels in love, for real ...
And having clarified the fact that I acknowledge
My need to wallow in this first stage of love before
Transitioning, naturally, toward each stage, which is yet to come
Here's the insight that intuition has been prodding
My sense of readiness to convey to you, today:
As much as I've resisted this mindful decision
To honor my need for time out, which
Proves hard for my heart to accept
I believe it's best to take a break from writing to you in order to
Resolve inner conflict by freeing my whole mind to
Fully absorb the gift of Ravi into my life
You know, kind of like freeing myself to honeymoon with
My grand daughter until my urge to write stories, offering
Insight-driven plans of positively focused action
Returns, naturally, on its own
And here's why you can feel assured of my return when
Readiness to rendezvous with you re-emerges from
Deep within my soul as intuitively as had been true before this
Most welcome change in my life had reason to stir conflict within
Subconscious thinking patterns, which had
Shaped my mind sets for most of my life:
Once my old mind set has had time to expand enough to absorb
This amazing creature, whose presence stirs
An all consuming, organic reaction within my entire being
A portion of my energy will free itself to
Refuel the storytelling portion of my mind, meaning that
When next you hear from me
My mind, heart and spirit will have naturally, thus comfortably
Integrated the organic presence of this delightful creature in with
Everyone and everything I value in life ...
I mean, seriously, though my love for Ravi
Ran deep, right off the bat, deeper truth suggests that
Falling in love, anew, does not displace
Everyone I'd loved and everything that had meant
The world to me before Lady Luck
Smiled in my direction, proclaiming me to be
The lucky duck, whom I've known myself to be, repeatedly
On the other hand, let's review
One insight gleaned from yesterday's paper:
Rather than dwelling on mental rituals and unfulfilled wishes
Know that good luck and hard work are one and the same ...
Suggesting that once I've taken the time to
Absorb Ravi's presence into my heart and mind, along with
Everyone and everything I love, balance will return, and
So will I ... seemingly the same, while knowing, full well
That the inherent beauty of this miraculous experience
Will have changed life, as I'd known it, for the better, yet again
And as today's train of thought pulls into the station where
My mind plans to vacation for an undetermined time 
Here's my think tank's last insight until
Intuition signals my need to reconnect and
Pick up where we're about to leave off:
It's been my experience that anything catalyzing
Change for the better, over the long run, all around, is
Worth repeating, whenever possible, for this reason:
Each time fate offers me an experience, which
Expands my awareness of love's positive impact upon
My life as a whole, some aspect of my thinking process matures ...
And thus does it seem best to free my think tank to follow this
Natural bent in the road, which
Intuition has been prodding my besotted mind to
Focus upon ever since Fate blessed my life with Ravi's presence
And if you ask what makes me so sure that
Once my sense of internal balance returns ... so will I, I'd reply:
It's been my history to trust the potent powers of intuitive thought and
Intuition suggests that I care too deeply about
Our friendship, across the miles, to bid you a final good bye ...
So, fare thee well, my friend, till readiness reawakens my
Natural inclination to resume where we left off before
My newfound love for Ravi had seemingly consumed
Heart, mind, spirit and soul :)
PS
Though I'd planned to end this post with a heartwarming photo
My iPad has stubbornly refused to comply, so as soon as
I find time to go to my computer, I'll complete today's post, which
Reminds us of this fact of life:
Change is the only constant in life, and inevitably
Conflict, which accompanies change, is sure to complicate
The status quo that came before, and if—in my  eagerness to
Wholly embrace this wondrous aura of wide-eyed innocence—I 
Feel compelled to take a time out from life as
I knew it before change came knocking at our door
It makes sense to acknowledge this fact, as well:
Inner conflict must be resolved before change for the better
Holds hands with peace of mind, at last—until such time as
Another unexpected change catalyzes inner conflict to arise, yet again ...
And if you ask why change and conflict are necessary to personal growth
I'd reply:
Either we grow all the wiser by consciously seeking to
Expand our sense of depth awareness by diving ever more deeply into
Unexplored fathoms of self discovery as
We mature throughout each stage of life
 or
We shrink back from adventuring forth upon the path, which offers us
Untold opportunities to re-evaluate old mind sets that limit our
Innate ability to uncover strengths, which remain untapped, unless
We grow conscious of our need to choose to embrace
A series of leaps of faith, which implies the necessity to
Muster the courage to leave old comfort zones behind at
Every stage of life in favor of advancing toward
Personal growth in every arena of love and life...
PSS
As several hours have passed since this post was published
Here I am, as promised, inserting the adorable photo that
Steven emailed, this morning, and
When your eyes drink in Ravi's sweet, wide-eyed innocence
I believe you'll understand why her presence in my life
Melts my heart with so much gladness that I can actually feel
My spirit glowing with the incandescent warmth, inherent in pure delight, and
Feeling utterly re-energized from the inside out, I find myself accomplishing
Everyday tasks with gusto because, upon arising, each morning
Ravi's brand new gramma feels younger than Springtime, 24/7, and
Though it's hard to argue with an expanded sense of awareness as wondrous as that
I hope my compelling need for time out—while my mind adjusts to
Absorbing the gift of Ravi in with every aspect of my life—proves
Smooth and swift for this reason:
Though it's my choice to separate, I'll miss my connection with you more than words can say :)
Ravi's shayna punim
2 months old
2 adorable for words
Lucky me :)

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

1250 INSIGHTS TO CONSIDER WHEN TALENTS TO FINDING A SOLUTION REMAIN UNTAPPED ...

2015
Still not in the mood to complete part three of my toy catalogue plan
So, rather than forcing the issue, I'll make use of insights gleaned from
This morning's paper, which support the importance of identifying
Those times when subconscious fear, lurking behind
Defensive walls, blocks our intuitive powers from identifying
Deeper truth, concerning heartfelt emotional reactions, which
Remain alive but anesthetized behind locked doors within our minds
So okay, here goes:

You can't live your dream and your fear at the same time
Furthermore, by letting go of your dream, you let fear win

Just as physical wounds heal from the inside out
The same proves true of emotional wounds, so
Come to terms with the initial event that caused your original pain

When in a negative frame of mind
You assume you have knowledge enough about your strengths
When, in truth, you have talents untapped

Rather than dwelling on unfulfilled wishes and mental rituals
Know that good luck and hard work are one and the same

Work that some would find stressful
Proves energizing for you, because
You believe in your ability to find a solution

A change in February will invigorate you and
Spark your social life

Be gracious and discreet, and you'll have
No regrets connected to certain moments of privilege

Though I know not whether today's insights were written by man or woman
The concept of consciously taking an active role in creating change for the better
Invigorates the spirits of one and all, at every age ...

Monday, January 26, 2015

1249 A WHIMSICAL TWIST :)


2015
Today's post is short and sweet for this reason:
I added such a whimsical twist to yesterday's train of thought that
In case you have time to read only one post, today, I hope you'll
Choose to scroll back and give my most recent addition to
That stream of consciousness, a fast twirl around the dance floor
And with that said
Have you taken note of the fact that I didn't think to
Mention a certain, little sweetheart's name or include her photo
In these last two posts, running?
See why I think we're on a roll toward balancing
Ravi's presence in my life with resuming my storyline!
Oops!  Oh my gosh!  Look how my love for
This sweet little creature, whose fleeting smile melts my heart
Snuck out of my mind and onto our screens as naturally as
My need to hold her close manages to slip into the forefront of
My conscious thoughts, time and again, suggesting that
Logic is not empowered to squelch emotion, swelling, intuitively
Within the depths of my heart and
With thoughts of embracing the fact that
Humans are emotional creatures by nature
I'll refer you back to yesterday's post in hopes that
You'll enjoy a brief visit with Socrates, who
Swooped down to whisper a slice of wisdom
Into my ear while I was reviewing
That which had been penned previous to today :)

Sunday, January 25, 2015

1248 MY SPIRIT'S NEED TO RESUME DEPTH OF THOUGHT WHISPERS IN MY EAR

2015
Today I awoke with this train of thought running through my head:
Sometimes I could swear that my memory has a mind of its own
I say that because of the times when my think tank knocks on
My memory's door but the only one who's aroused proves to be
The stubborn, muscle-bound bouncer, who won't let me in and
As this guy resists any show of force on my part
All I get in return for talking to solid walls
Is a rebellious reaction, suggesting that no one's home
I mean, over my lifetime, I've gone to great lengths to
Create and catalogue a well organized library of
Past events, each of which can be found listed under
One of four columns:
A-Pleasurable, so repeat as often as possible
B-Necessary to my well being, so repeat as needed
C-Confusing, for countless reasons, so analyze and change for the better
D-Anxiety producing—and as anxiety and I don't mix
I'd call upon my defense system to wall up the worst of these
Fearsome experiences, which
Scared my think tank silly, behind a solid, sound proof door, and
Each time my defensive guard has successfully bolted excessive fear
Behind this door, my conscious mind falls under a spell, which
Makes me forget that memories, caged within my subconscious
Are empowered to haunt my well being from within
And though my ability to name those sleeping dogs proves unlikely
My defensive guard, looking to ensure
My conscious mind's sense of personal safety
Makes good use of one last nail to hammer
This message onto the front of that sound proof, solidly locked door :
WARNING:  DANGER ... ENTER AT RISK OF MEETING YOUR REAL SELF
Finally, after drawing a black curtain across that bolted door, behind which
Subconscious memories lurk in a raw and still painful state
I threw away the key to creating change for the better, and
Went about my life with no doubt that
Knowing myself as I do, I'm true to myself, through and through, and
As long as my greatest fears remain beyond your view and mine
I can maintain the false belief that no one knows how to take good care of
My mental, physical and spiritual needs better than me, and
As long as that false belief system directs my life
I can bamboozle my sense of clarity into believing that
I care less about certain experiences or certain people, when
Reality suggests that if I didn't care as deeply as I do
My defense sytem would not have been called upon to
Bury the painful truth, concerning the depth of my emotions, behind
Solid walls, deep within the subconscious portion of my mind, suggesting that
Imaginative rationalizations and logical thought processes are not one and the same

As the conscious portion of the human condition falls under columns A B or C
(Pleasurable or necessary to my well being or confusing and in need of clarification)
You can see why I'd thought this plan, cataloging  emotional reaction
Would simplify my ability to decide which experience to experiment with
And which to sidestep as the future unfolds
I mean, the simplicity of any plan, which
At first glance appears to be based in logic, seems to make so much sense that
The path of my future seemed pretty safe and straightforward, right?
Hmmm ... On second thought ...
How often does straightforward and safe lead toward
Ordinary, even boring, down the road?
Seriously, when the name of my chosen path is:
Love and Life, Lived To The Fullest
Reality suggests I keep this fact in the forefront of my conscious mind:
Emotion and logic are opposites, and opposites are
Meant to attract in order that we learn from each other's personal strengths, so
Whenever I con myself into believing that
Logic wins over emotion, like scissors wins over paper, then
Deeper truth suggests that I may have rocks in my head
And here's why this insight into our need to balance
Emotion with logic proves true, time and again:
Each time my defense system (which is based in
Emotional reactiveness) fools my think tank into believing
That no one knows me as well as I do, I need to consult with
A friend, who proving true blue, will
Look me in the eye and ask:  Will you please
Stop dancing around the truth long enough to
Muster the courage, patience and humility necessary to
Embark upon a quest toward self discovery in hopes of
Retrieving that key to unlocking the door in
Your memory bank, behind which
Your greatest fear has been torturing
Your peace of mind with spikes of unidentified anxiety, ever since
You were a wide-eyed child, who'd misguidedly believed
Your parents were godlike, and thus, whatever
Their reactions 'taught' you to believe ... about yourself ...
Must be true ... and though parental reactiveness may prove
Personally strengthening to one sibling, while proving
Detrimental to another, here's why parental belief—
Whether positive or negative in nature
Can prove devastating to budding self esteem, all around:
While cutting our teeth, we grow up, looking outward
Seeking the admiration of others, and when
Admiration is not forthcoming, a child tends to believe
That he or she is doing something irreparably wrong when
Deeper truth suggests that embracing an intuitive
Experiemental approach to life and love is as right as rain, which
As we know, must fall in every life while our child-like spirits continue to
Reach intuitively, courageously and determinedly toward
Testing parental limits, which proves scary but necessary if
We are ever to unlock that door, behind which
Subconscious fear is stored, and not until we choose to
Set out on a conscious quest to retrieve the key that offers us
Untold opportunities to search within more deeply than ever before
Do we come to know the sum of our parts, which makes us whole
And here's why that's all I'll write for today:
The spirit of Socrates just slid down a sun beam from on high in the sky
He came to encourage me to nourish my spirit by continuing to
Identify subconscious fears that inhibit me from
'Doin what feels natural' to me
And after the sage listened to my learned response that
That kind of selfish behavior breeds chaos
My friend chuckled and replied:
Annie, a certain amount of anxiety-producing chaos
Proves necessary to re-organizing
A false belief system that limits your choices
I think you've forgotten that before offering you clearance to
Live your dream, I filled your think tank with
The wisdom inherent in The Line Of Control, and
Now, it's my hope that you'll continue to pass forward
My message—concerning balance in all things—in today's post
Then, with a flutter of wings, my friend rose off my shoulder, and
Right before taking flight, the sage tossed me a smile and
A gold star, which he'd plucked from the sky, and
The last words I heard before
Eternal Wisdom flew out of sight but not out of mind were these:
'Keep up the good work, Annie; once you remember that
Perfection is not the goal, your power of intuition will
Overcome subconscious fear of failing those you love, and as
Peace of mind, duly earned, shall be your just reward,  you'll be just fine
But wait!  I implored ...
I didn't know 'balance in all things' was your thing , and
I'd thought my line of control was godsent, and
What of your message:  Know thyself?
At this, my wise friend, who personifies
The universal spirit of eternal wisdom, actually
Chortled aloud and though he'd flown out of sight into
A cloud, I found that he'd chosen to hover just close enough for
Me to catch on to yet one more insight before he
Rocketed away to impart wisdom around the globe, and
Thus, by listening attentively, did I hear my friend, who
Embodies deeper truth passed forward through the ages—reply:
Do you think a guy like me would have risen to sagehood
Had I only two words of wisdom to impart throughout my entire lifetime?
Get real!
At that, we laughed at the truth, and I relaxed with the knowledge that
Men may use fewer words than women, but that does not equate with
Their harboring fewer thoughts, deep inside, concerning
Heartfelt emotion, which finds it tough to
Hide out of sight, forever and a day ...
And if you ask how I know that to be true, I'd reply:
First of all, the faith that I place in my powers of intuition is hard to shake, and
Secondly, I raised three sons, whom, upon embracing manhood
Continue to demonstrate the depth of their heartfelt emotional reactions as
Openly, avidly and passionately as did my dad ... sooo
If you suggest that men are logical and women are emotional
I'd respectfully suggest that you might want to think on
That misconceived belief—again :)

Had you known me as a child in pigtails
You'd have seen an avid reader, whose curiosity, concerning
People and places, was as easily aroused as was true of
My high spirited sense of fun while I'd skipped merrily through
My early years, thoroughly enjoying my role as
Sidekick to my adventurous dad—
On the other hand, photos, taken during my childhood
Show both arms bandaged, because anxiety, which
Remained unnamed, caused me to itch to uncover
A fear, which remained embedded under my skin until
Recently, when I discovered the fact that I'd lugged around
A ton of undeserved guilt, concerning this mistaken belief, which
Had burrowed deep within a pocket of my subconscious memory in
The aftermath of my baby sister's death:
I 'know' myself as not being good enough to feel worthy of my parents' love ...
Oy Gevalt!  Talk about a belief in need of re-evaluation!

Over these past twenty years
It's been my good fortune to
Fly or sail to many fascinating countries throughout
This great big wonderful world of ours; however
No adventure, whether read or taken purely by choice
Has offered my mind reason to explore more deeply into
The meaning of love and life than
Every spiritual excursion that I've chosen to take since
Diving into the depths of self discovery, and
As each courageous dive serves to
Relax yesteryear's fears more thoroughly than before
Today's travails tend to lighten up as quickly and naturally as
My think tank has grown practiced at redirecting
Negatively focused trains of thought toward
A positively focused track, thus
Brightening the path of my future for this reason:
Each time I consciously reset the course of my attitude by
Setting my defense system aside
My think tank feels free to come up with a plan, based in clarity, which
Aligns reality, concerning safety, with satisfying
My unmet needs in ways that prove better balanced, today, than ever before :)
And Amen to a serious, yet whimsical, stream of consciousness that
Truly frees me to be true to the sum of my whole self, at last!

In addition to pigtails and bandages, see truly happy smile with book in lap :)


Imagine my daddy standing before me, snapping this photo of his sidekick at the fair
No need to mention bandages, which are plain to see
As to my pigtails,
Look closely and you'll see braids pinned up, peeking out from under
The jaunty curve of my hat, suggestive of this fact:
The little we see on the surface of life is not all there is know—
Hopefully, you've noticed that little by little
My memory is feeling less rebellious
More encouraged to resume storytelling on its own—
Gotta love it when a plan (born of intuitive thought)
Comes together, step by step, over time, especially
When that plan relieves anxiety, saves your sanity and
Meets heartelt needs, which feed your spirit and mine, suggesting, yet again, that
Each time we wholly embrace 'balance in all things', all's well that ends well! :)

Saturday, January 24, 2015

1247. GLAD TO REPORT A SERIOUS THOUGHT!

2015
At last!
I awoke with a serious train of thought cycling through my mind, and
If you ask me to express that thought, here's what I'd reply:
I've gained insight into the fact that, over my lifetime
My subconscious has harbored an
Unidentified feeling of wrong doing, left over from early childhood, which
Has caused my spirit to bow in subservience to certain people, whose
Presence has had the power to manipulate many of my decisions, which
I'd mistakenly believed to have been my very own
If you ask me to name these people, I'll reference discretion and
Respectfully decline for this reason:
I believe that naming those who'd employed mind manipulation to
Bully me into submitting to their will may worsen relationships, which
Still mean the world to me, and as gaining insight into
Improving relationships is what I'm about
My new found sense of clarity has made me aware of how often
A person's sense of security may depend upon agreement, suggesting that
When voicing a difference of opinion, red flags of defensiveness may erupt, and
Once attitudes are colored by defensive reactivity, which
Electrify the emotional environment with negativity, provoked by anxiety
The discussion at hand tends to focus away from harmonic resolution toward
Striking out with disparaging comments, which
Put dissenting opinions down ... And recently, I've come to see
How disparagement can prove so subtle as to have
Addled my brain just enough to silence my voice. ... And
If you ask why I'd retreat into myself when feeling put down
I'll remind you of this fact:
Ever since tragedy hit our home when I was three
I'd harbored a subconscious need to be as good as good can be by
Mothering everyone I'd loved ... Sooo
It makes sense that if I'd said or done anything to
Invoke another person's displeasure, a sudden bout of anxiety
Would make my vulnerability fair game for
Brow-beating bullying, which proved so slyly insinuating that
That which had been said might seem harmless to casual observers, but
Each time I'd felt blindsided by remarks that desparaged my character
My powers of intuition 'knew' that something was 'off'; however
Pinpointing whatever that something was escaped my conscious awareness until
I came to see why certain relationships, which had been harmonic in nature
Proved weighted in favor of serving the other person's needs
And if you asked me to pinpoint why I was so easily intimated and
Manipulated so as to serve the needs of others in favor of my own, I'd reply:
As long as I'd unknowingly bullied myself with subconscious guilt
In the aftermath of my baby sister's unexpected death
I'd be an easy target for this reason:
As long as feelings of undeserved guilt remained buried deep inside
I'd unknowingly put myself down, suggesting that
A portion of my mind agreed with the opinion of he or she, who proved to be
A putdown artist, extraordinaire—and the fact that part of me felt guilty while
Intuition suggested my being innocent of wrong doing, created
Inner conflict, which caused anxiety to disturb my peace of mind
Thank goodness, during recent years, strings of insight
Like those I've penned, today, sparked a series of epiphanies, which
Shone spotlights on mysterious mind games that controlled
My decision-making process more often than I was aware
Over time, it came clear that my anxious reaction in the aftermath of
Disagreeing with a loved one's opinion, was actually caused by
That person's displeasure with my ability to
Cut through the bull shavings in order to identify deeper truths, which
Denial denies each time the truth hurts too much to confront, and
Over time, our defense systems bury as many facts as necessary to anesthetize pain—
In truth, the frightened three year old child, lurking within, would stir up
Sudden stabs of anxiety due to my feeling guilty of
Wrong doing, deep inside, and if you ask why
Subconscious anxiety sliced my unmet needs into mincemeat, I'd reply:
I believed myself so inconsequential as to be easily abandoned by those I loved
And thus, unbeknownst to my conscious mind, my greatest subconscious need
Had been to repair whatever ailed my family, and in this way did I hope to
Ensure the element of harmonic stability amongst one and all ... and as long as
My need to fix everyone and everything remained subconscious in nature
I'd no conscious clue as to how often my primary need to
Ensure peace within the family caused me to
Dismiss heartfelt needs, which had been my own ...

Upon time spent in reflection, I came to see that I'd felt guilty of being selfish, when
Deeper truth proved the opposite true ...
And so, today, having gained insight into where my sense of clarity had been off
I no longer unknowingly put myself down or cowtow to subconscious guilt, which
Though undeserved, had managed to bully many of my decisions until
Strings of insight made me aware of how often my adult emotional reactions, had been
Directed by the frightened child within, who'd
Thought to have 'failed' my loved ones, early on
As my quest into self discovery opened my eyes to see how often
This guilt-ridden child had redirected my decisions, I now feel grateful for this fact:
Presently, the intuitive, self respecting adult, whom I've grown to be
Makes good use of her voice by standing up to those who had once
Intimated me, and now that today's string of insights feels like a wrap
Here's what my stream of consciousness has been leading me to convey:
When you are amidst family or friends, may I respectfully suggest that
You take a moment to direct your sight at each loved one, separately, to see if
Your mind, working as a whole, can pinpoint a person (or people) in the group
Whose presence is still empowered to rouse your anxiety or
Silence your voice due to subconscious guilt that
You've carried forth, undeservedly, and unknowingly, to this very day ...
If you ask why I'm suggesting that you conduct this experiment, I'd reply:
This simple plan may inspire you to discover the power that
A loved one's will has wielded over
Your spirit's sense of free choice, throughout your life
And as insight into where you've abdicated your power to another dawns on you
Your choices, which prove existential, and thus highly personal
May begin to expand, as naturally as has proven true of mine
On the other hand, that kind of change for the better can only come true once
You come to recognize those times when spikes  of anxiety are caused by
Undeserved guilt, awakening a darkened view of yourself that proves untrue of
The person, whom you've matured into, today, and thus
Whenever you have reason to reconsider
The truth of your personal, heartfelt unmet needs, today
Perhaps you'll choose to empower yourself, as have I, in this courageous way:
Presently,  I listen, patiently, openly and with an attitude of humility to
Everything everyone has need to say, and then when all the listening is done
I empower only three people to brainstorm while finalizing decisions concerning
Meeting needs, which prove to be mine, and as I have no qualms about
Pinpointing that trilogy of deeply thoughtful individuals, publicly, here they are:
ME, MYSELF and I!
Oh!  Much to my delight, Steven just called, hoping that
I'd jump at the chance of taking  care of Ravi for a couple of hours
And as it's hard to write and jump for joy, simultaneously
I'd like to end today's post with one last morsel of food for thought:
At times, while considering words of wisdom passed from one generation to the next
We find ourselves in awe of that which floats out of the mouths of babes—
At other times we say a picture is worth a thousand words, suggesting
That all we need do to convey what's on our minds is strike a pose—

You're not the boss of me!
And that's the truth!
Recently, Celina and Steven wore tee shirts, which match Ravi's, to our house
Except that their tee shirts say:
I'M SO TIRED!
 I just couldn't resist this funny trio of shirts
And when our kids opened the box 
We all enjoyed a good laugh—because
We laugh at the truth—and
We who learn to laugh at ourselves laugh best! :)

Thursday, January 22, 2015

1246 THREE COMMENTS—THANK YOU! :)

2015
Received three comments in response to yesterday's post:

A—Hunger due to growth spurt
Remedy:  Increase ounces
Done!

B—Overstimulation in need of calming
Remedy:  Swaddling
Aha!  Forgot to try that!

C—Painful bubbles of gas
Remedy:  Offer TLC and pat Ravi every which way except upside down!
Done!

So, we remembered to try two out of three
And as each suggestion makes sense, next time
We'll add B to A and C if need arises, anew

Silver lining—Once Ravi wore herself out
She and her sleep deprived parents enjoyed a restful night
Suggesting all's well that ends well

As to Gramma—
With so much heartfelt stimulation over these past seven weeks
As soon as I push publish, I'm off to swaddle, myself! :) :) :)

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

1245. IN NEED OF YOUR ADVICE ...

2015
Well, last night offered up an unexpected turn of events
Ravi arrived sweetly content, and as always, our hearts melted with love
She was due for a feeding, so Steven prepared her bottle while
Our cousins oo'd and ahh'd over our adorable, two month old granddaughter
And all was well until the bottle was empty at which time
Ravi burped and rather than smiling, she began to cry, which
Is quite unlike her when her tummy is full and her diaper dry
Since her cries grew more strained throughout the evening
And since Steven is a new dad and since
Celina was home, catching up on much needed rest
And since I've not soothed a distraught two month old child for
Close to four decades, let me fill you in on every attempt to
Remedy Ravi's distress in hopes of easing her discomfort, which
Produced persistant wails, throughout the evening:
First we resorted to back patting to induce another bubble to burp
When that was not forthcoming (and having learned that
Ravi does not like being wet), we checked her diaper, again
When she adamantly refused her pacifier, time after time
We took turns placing her on her tummy, over our knees and
More back patting ensued in hopes of coaxing bubbles to release
When that didn't do the trick, we'd turn her on her back and
Ministered gentle leg pumps in hopes of
Releasing bubbles from her tummy in any way possible
This was followed by taking turns walking her, to no avail
After about half an hour, having done everything we could think of
Except turning her upside down, we wondered about a growth spurt and
In hopes of assuaging her wails, we offered our distraught little one
Another ounce or two of formula, which she inhaled as eagerly as if
No one had thought to feed her for hours, and
Then, as if someone had pushed rewind, the entire scenario repeated, repeatedly
All told, Ravi was beside herself throughout the evening, and
While we wondered aloud about gas pains or constipation
 Not one of the six adults (two of whom proved to be
A doctor and nurse), was able to pinpoint or mollify her distress
(BTW, in addition to being a nurse, my cousin is
A mother of four and grandma, eight times over) ...
We reassured Steven, who had never seen his
Sweet, little munchkin exhibit distress, for hours, for reasons unknown, that
Nary a babe is born, who does nothing but eat, pee, poop, smile and sleep
That just as with life and love, in general, parenting draws mystery into our lives
Much to Steven's credit, he kept calm as the hours passed, while
Offering his child plenty of TLC
Thank goodness, Ravi quieted right before she was placed
In her car seat when Steven deemed it time to
Drive the short distance separating their home from ours
As to Ravi's night, I have no clue, as of yet, if
Whatever had ailed this sweet, little person settled down on its own ...
Right now, it's 6AM, and I'll not chance awakening parents, who
May have experienced a challenging, wakeful night with their child
So—having offered you this detailed account of last evening and
Knowing full well that it's been our good fortunate, over
These past two months, to care for a winsome infant, who
Had not experienced hours of relentless distress
Here is my question in hopes of planning ahead, should
Ravi's discomfort prove unrelieved, again:
Is there anything you would have tried that we'd missed?
PS—Heard from Steven at 10AM ...
Glad to relate that having tired herself out, Ravi slept through the night, suggesting
You can't believe everything you see written on a tee shirt :)

BTW, are you aware of what just happened as naturally as I'd surmised?
Life took an unexpected turn, and
My besotted frame of mind had need of no urging to
Open its door to release and make use of
Brain-storming, solution seeking skills, again ...
And as, by now, it's second nature for me to request help when
My think tank proves stymied ...
The problem-solving portion of my mind opened, naturally, in hopes of
Absorbing any tidbits of experiencial advice that you may suggest in hopes of
Creating change for the better, as the future unfolds, for us, all
Your friend,
Annie


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

1244 DO'IN A WHAT COMES NATURALLY :)

2015
Knowing life to be unpredictable
I've learned not to make promises lightly
Even so, I promise you, this is not turning into a blog about my love for Ravi
I really want to resume writing thoughts and stories, where insight into life and love created change for the better, all around.  I really do want to stop repeating the same besotted phraseology, daily.  However, If you've ever freed your heart to fall thoroughly in love, I'm sure you'd agree that I'd have to be looney to hurry myself through this wondrous state of mind, which feels too good to be true.  Seriously, You'd think I'd floated from cloud nine, over the moon, straight up to heaven.  Oh!  Sorry!  I'm do'in what comes naturally, again!

I mean, honestly!   To force myself to write of transformative experiences, which proved natural, when that's exactly what's taking place deep within me, right now, makes no sense.  Bottom line, though others force issues, that's just not my style.

Hey, I have an idea!  Perhaps, my memory can be coaxed to release stories that filled my mind with a natural sense of wonderment in years past.  Let me sleep on it, and we'll see what tomorrow brings ...

Until then, know that my smile, which feels inextinguishable, is shining sunbeams wherever I go ... And you certainly can't argue with something that proves as naturally connective as that!

Momentarily, dear cousins from the Midwest are about to land, and just as they are eager to meet Ravi, Will and I are eager to prepare for another festive gathering of family togetherness where all will enjoy dinner at our house, tonight.

As to tomorrow, your guess is as good as mine, concerning that which I'll write :)
Can you feel the warmth of my high flying spirit showering you with smiles across the miles?
Warm happy hugs,
Annie

Monday, January 19, 2015

1243 IMAGINE WHEN DREAMS COME TRUE :)

2015
What are we to do with me?
I can't put two serious thoughts together no matter how much I want to please those of you who follow my blog in hopes of absorbing trains of thought ladened with insights, which inspire my mindsets to expand, thus broadening my choices, which frees my spirit to meet my needs (within reason) without undeserved guilt messing with my sense of pure delight.  BTW—my smile did not wain while that sentence shaped up inside my brain, because I'm not trying to force the issue.  To tell the truth, I'm enjoying this utterly delightful frame of mind too much to create a change that's sure to take place, naturally, over time.  So, once again, here I am, asking for patience. When Celina asked our guests to pen a slice of experiential advice on heart shaped foam keepsakes that she passed around, here's what popped out of my mind:

Children learn by mimicking everything we do
The more you smile at Ravi
The more she'll smile, naturally, at you!  :)

 Want to see my delight, reflecting back at me, naturally?
This fleeting moment—showcasing the precious present—was captured
In a photo taken during the baby shower while I was changing Ravi's diaper ...
And here's why I love that this pillow snuck into the picture:
Each time I imagine countless precious moments to come, my spirit soars, anew!  
Ravi, the guest of honor, at seven weeks
(See what I mean?  To know her is to love her!)

Sunday, January 18, 2015

1242 WHEN HEARTS FLOAT, SPIRITS SOAR :)

2015
Over these past seven weeks, beginning with Ravi's birth and leading up to yesterday's shower, I've been wholly delighted to wallow in love, 24/7.  As to yesterday's lovely celebration, centered around Ravi's precious presence in our lives, my smile sparkled from head to toe each time I opened our front door to welcome those I love into our home.  If you ask how I know that's true of my smile, I'd reply:  Each time the sunniness of pure joy is mine, my heart expands like a balloon, and since my spirit's been soaring for seven weeks straight, my feet haven't touched the ground, suggesting that instead of walking, I float :)

With some loved ones, we feel blessed to share countless moments of joy
With others we share few, which we treasure, none the less
And with attention to joyful experiences, which prove utterly unexpected
Intuition offers us reason to take steps toward creating change for the better by
Reconsidering 'rules', which had once limited our choices until
Personal experience opens a door, where insight into
The wisdom of expanding our mindsets offers us this deeper truth:
No rule is written in stone, and every time heartfelt emotion proves that to be true
Our connection to loving more freely and wholly than ever before, deepens, as well :)

Here is Ravi, slumbering serenely in the Moses basket
(during the party, thrown in her honor)
This lovely gift was chosen by the quintet of friends who hosted yesterday's gala :)

This afternoon, while basking in the glow of yesterday's treasured memory, I enjoyed being a guest at a surprise luncheon in celebration of another friend's 'big birthday', and as Celina and Steven asked us to babysit at 5pm, I drove home with thoughts of spending time with Ravi dancing through my mind, and once again, my cheek splitting smile widened—if that's possible!  Hooray for another five star day!
Your friend,
Annie

Thursday, January 15, 2015

1241 THANK GOODNESS FOR CHOOSING TO FOCUS ON CHANGE FOR THE BETTER! :)

Oh!  No!
I just penned an upbeat post
And rather than pushing publish, I somehow erased it!
Tried to save it on my iPhone and iPad but
iCloud beat me to the punch—
Though frustration is churning
I can't help but smile—
Why smile when faced with frustration?
Well—look at the title of today's post, which
Is all that's left of that which I'd mistakenly deleted
I mean, seriously, the irony is actually funny, right?
If you ask:  Why not rewrite trains of thoughts, mistakenly deleted—
I'd sigh and reply:
There's no dress rehearsal for stream of consciousness, suggesting
That many thoughts prove fleeting; however
If I take a moment to consult with my think tank
You can bet on my finding a silver lining, which will
Encourage my spirit to tackle frustration to the mat—
Ah ha!  Here it comes—positive focus to the rescue in the nick of time:
Thank goodness I'd mistakenly deleted thoughts concerning
My present state of euphoria rather than having
Penned and deleted part three of our Heaven Sent Toy Catalogue Plan!
Had that been the subject of today's mistaken deletion
The depth of my frustration would have tackled my smile to the mat
As that was not the case, 15% of me feels frustrated while
The greater part of 85% feels like smiling with relief, and
Now that my conscious choice of positive focus
Has successfully created an attitude of gratitude
Today's newly penned post and my title still match :)

Tomorrow ...
Ravi's precious presence in our lives will be 'showered' with love
And hopefully, in the aftermath of our celebration
My spirit will remain on cloud nine while
My think tank floats gently to earth, where
Rather than fleeting streams of conscious awareness
My sense of readiness to write with attention to detail will have had
Sufficient time to ripen, and
If that's the case then intuition will signal my memory to unlock and
Release part three of our Heaven Sent Toy Catalogue Plan—
However, in order to cover my bases and minimize your frustration
Please keep this cautionary measure in the forefront of your mind:
I purposely phrased today's last train of thought as
My hope rather than my plan :)
And having said that, I'll wish you a five star day ...
Your friend—
Ravi's besotted Gramma, holding our family's precious present for the very first time
And by looking closely at this photo, taken Thanksgiving weekend
You'll see that Ravi's blanket and my tee shirt are both 'in the pink'
Suggesting how well matched we were right from the start 😊
 ...



1240 PLEASE ACCEPT THIS HEARTFELT INVITATION TO REVEL IN MY JOY :)


2015
I'm sure to have mentioned that on Saturday
Dear friends are throwing a baby shower
In celebration of Ravi's birth, at my house
Why will we gather in my home?
Because the spacious living areas in my home were
Specifically designed with this thought in mind:
Each time life offers our spirits reason to soar
It's our heartfelt pleasure to open our front door and
Welcome an expansive list of family and friends who
Prove eager to partake in our joy
And as my quintet of hostesses plan to
Arrive early to set up and remain afterward to tidy up
My mind feels as peaceful as my heart feels well loved
And perhaps, once these festivities have been
Snapped up by my memory bank and saved for future enjoyment
My think tank will feel ready to pen
Part three of our family's Heaven Sent Toy Catalogue Plan
As for now, gifts, which have been chosen in hopes of delighting
My quintet of friends, who have invited our nearest and dearest to
Enjoy this joyous event, are in need of being gaily wrapped and bow'd
And as today's train of thought is also a wrap
I'll wish you the same five star day that I plan to enjoy, myself!
Why?
Because in less time than it takes to blink twice, life flashes by as fast as
We can scroll through this brief slideshow of
Eye sparkling snapshots, which spaning my lifetime
Showcases why two generations, grown toward maturity
Look forward, each day, to reveling in the miracle of life from
The wide-eyed, innocent, inquisitive, eager to
Absorb-it-all perspective of childhood, because
Children are born intuitively connected to positive focus, suggesting
The strength of their belief that anything and everything is possible as long as
We work, together, to right whatever goes wrong :)
  •  Spring of 1944—Daddy and Annie :)
Daddy, Annie and Lauren :)

Mommy, Annie and Lauren :)

Ain't life grand! :)
My three sons :)

Thank goodness, some things never change :)

As Will's mom once said:
If you have boys, one day you'll have girls :)

2015 and our family's precious present :)

At this point in my life you can see why I hope not to miss out on
Any opportunity that offers me time to rejoice in
The precious presence of a person who inspires my spirit to sparkle with delight
Happy 44th Birthday (impossible!) to Ravi's daddy, Steven, today! :)

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

1239 AN ALBUM OF MOMENTS ...

2015
If you asked:
Annie, how is it that you recall such a detailed account of your life?
I'd reply:
Perhaps the silver lining resultant of having experienced
Family tragedy at the age of three alerted my intuition to
Capture the clarity of each momentous experience in hopes of
Securing my connection to safety ...
Creating a well-focused camera of my memory, suggesting
That my think tank developed a heightened sense of awareness, which
Compiled a well organized photo album that
Offers me a slide show of snapshots, inspired by
Flashes of fear and feelings of guilt,
which, though undeserved, undermined my self worth, as well as snap shots of
Loving moments, which offered my spirit reason to sparkle with delight ...

If Fate challenged your spirit to rally after offering you reason to shake with fear while
Lady Luck chose to offer you a sense of balance by sprinkling your life with
Moments of  pure, unadulterated joy, as has been true of mine then—
You, too, may agree that it's naïve to believe that
Love, alone, conquers all
In truth, tis the combination of love, bolstered by
The absorption of knowledge, concerning
Self esteem, positive focus, patience, hopefulness, courage and readiness to
Identify subconscious fears of being unworthy of love that inspires
Your spirit to thrive by embracing an emotional environment where
A loving sense of connection sparkles forth with such purity from
Deep within your soul that your heart can't help but melt as soon as
The object of your affection comes into view ...
And as long as my Line of Control remains conscious of the fact that
Both sides of human nature comprise my whole—well ...
There's nothin' wrong with feeling besotted, 24/7, if you ask me :)

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

1238 TIME SPENT IN REFLECTION ENHANCES MY SMILE

2015
All I feel the need to say, today, is this:
Exercising my choice to cancel previous plans to
Free myself wholly to play with Ravi, yesterday
Heartened my spirit to thriving in indescribable ways!
And though I'm consciously choosing to
Free my mind to relax at its leisure, today
I did feed my need, upon arising this morning
To add several insights while reviewing yesterday's  post

Tis an unusual day in the desert🌵
It's raining☔️
And though the weather is damp and dreary outside
No more is needed to
Warm my heart and lighten my spirit other than
My sunny frame of mind🌞
And thus, while bidding you adieu
I'm glad to say that all feels bright, cheerful and cozy, within🌈

PS  Do you have a clue as to why squares replaced
The cactus, sun and rainbow when I pushed publish?
Why the umbrella chose to cooperate, I have no clue ...
Chalk it up to the fact that solution seekers would feel unfulfilled
If all of life's puzzling dilemmas solved themselves😊

Monday, January 12, 2015

1237 IN RESPONSE TO A COMMENT ...

2015

First things first:  While expressing this cornucopia of personal joy, my think tank kept searching for a place within yesterday's post to interject my reaction to this week's terrorist attack, which left Paris—and much of the world—burning with outrage.  However, not until my mind was actively engaged in the process of post-published editing did that window into my soul open, readily, as though all on its own, and if you choose to review that post, you'll be reminded of this fact:  Though I truly feel free to expose personal thoughts, which most might deem private, tis folly to speculate that you've met all there is to know of me straight down to my core.  In fact, tis folly to believe that we know anyone, wholly, and 'anyone' includes oneself.  And wouldn't life grow dull if you remain blind to closed mind sets, which curb your childlike sense of wonderment, suggesting that your spirit need not flag at half mast if you'd confront your fear of thinking out of the box, thus freeing your think tank to experience the benefits of mind expansion to the point of embracing all that life has to offer with such exuberance as to feel fully alive, as never before.

Though depth, concerning self awareness, may not be true of the mind, which has yet to balance The Line of Control with freeing one's spirit to embrace a healthy respect for bursting through proper decorum when life offers your heart reason to jump for joy, I appreciate the fact that early years of emotional turmoil directed my think tank to seek out a path where pureness of joy is not marred by guilt, which, upon reflection, proves undeserved.   (Uh—time out—I feel the need to caution you to inhale deeply in hopes of fully oxygenating your mind in readiness to swim through the stream of consciousness that's about to appear on your screen.  And if you think to ask how I know what's about to emerge from the depths of my mind, I'd reply:  I decided fair warning, concerning this next stream of consciousness, was in order after I wrote it and read it—so ready or not—here it comes:

The fact that serious strife plus the fleeting nature of the precious present inspires me to drench myself with love straight down to my very core while others must endure suffering does not quench my desire to do my best to help create a better world, where one and all may, one day, feel safely protected from harm perpetrated by the violent side of human nature, which runs rampant through our streets each time powermongers unleash the brainwashed minds of youth, who have been taught to waste innocent lives by blowing themselves to kingdom come under the false guise of religious zealotry, and now that today's first stream of consciousness—which blends both sides of my nature into that which creates a wholly unique individual —has heartfully expressed the depth of my outrage, concerning the brutality of mankind (beginning when historical documentation—depicted in drawings on cave dwellers' walls—recorded battles of hand-to-hand combat, concerning spiritual freedom's valiant fight against domination, thus attesting to my think tank's conscious, attentive awareness of the importance of balance in all things, past, present and future.  And having clarified that a heart besotted with love is capable of holding hands with a mind that sets realistic goals for the betterment of man(and woman)kind, it is apparent that a small portion of my drunk-on-love mind feels free to return our attention, at least momentarily, to humanity's perpetual need for personal growth on a global scope ... Whew!  Guess it's safe to say that while some run marathons, others write sentences that run on and on!  Whoops!  Gotta tighten that leash on Corny, again! :)

At any rate, I received two comments to which I've not yet replied—sooo
While still in need of your patience, let's see if
Readiness to offer at least a partial response to one of those comments is mine at this time:
This reader (who remains as anonymous as Annie) asked
If my three sons remember the toy catalogue plan
My response is a resounding YES!
As to exacting which aspects each one recalls, I'll have to ask and get back to you on that ...
(Gosh, we'd have such fun if all three were here, sitting at our round kitchen table, minds engaged in  excavating memories, which would surely offer family togetherness reason to rejoice in merriment, again!  Here's the thing about shared memories:  Some we'd choose to repeat, others not.  And if every memory shared with another proves favorably, fancifully memorable to both, no doubt, I'd view both as a pair of uncommonly lucky ducks!  I mean if such a relationship proved possible, wouldn't you want to know their secret to success?

BTW ...
Are you aware of appreciating those who give to you with generosity to spare?
Are you aware as to who appreciates your generous nature vs. taking it for granted?
Are you aware as to whom you offer generosity, graciously, in return?
Are you aware of how often lack of self awareness contributes to hypocratic misjudgment?
Are you aware that the degree of your positive focus acts as a determining factor when considering the good health of every relationship you value?

And now, that's quite enough serious thought for today ...
Why?  Well, though these past several years of my life have
Felt heavily weighted with personal strife
I've also felt blessed with intermittent moments when
My spirit felt reason to sparkle with boundless animation while
My mind and heart absorbed the pureness of unadulterated joy ... and
While reflecting over that duality of experience
I've developed a deep sense of respect for
My decision-making process, and here is why that's true:
I know myself to adhere to the concept of balancing my personal needs with
My loved one's need of me, suggestive of this fact:
The mindful person I've consciously grown to be
Deserves to free her mind of undeserved guilt ... So while
Acknowledging the fact that, historically
All people have had reason to bear the burden of on-going strife
I'll not carry that weight, this morning when
I open my front door to welcome
Celina, who is entrusting me to
Care lovingly for our precious Ravi, today
And while rejoicing in the presence of innocence
I'll continue to value the precious presence of
Each person I love as long as our lives on earth continue to unfold ...
And with that said
I hope you can feel my smile wishing you a five star day ...
Your besotted friend,
Annie
PS
Barry called to say that three year old Ray is feeling better
Just got word that the show David writes for was picked up for next season!
Hooray!
Each time I reflect over everyone who
Thought my youngest son crazy for driving to L.A.
With naught but a dream in his heart, bolstered by
His belief in himself, I can't help but smile when
Those very same folk applaud his courage, today :)
And now, as Fate, Faith, and Lady Luck
Wave their magic wands over each of our heads, offering our family
So many reasons to fully appreciate each moment of the precious presence ...
How can my peaceful mind, joyful heart and sparkling spirit not k'vell!
On the other hand, k'velling does not cancel the importance of
Attending to those portions of life, which prove in need of reconsideration ...
Most especially when any relationship I value still has reason
To flag at half mast ... And thus does
Today's post cycle round to remind us of this concept:
A life lived to the fullest makes certain to  embrace
Balance in all things

Sunday, January 11, 2015

1236 TO KNOW HER IS TO...OH WAIT! I JUST HAD A THOUGHT ...

2015
Since we were considering plans, concerning giving generously,  receiving graciously
I just had a thought about my inability to follow through with
Giving you part three of the toy catalogue plan until readiness is mine
In truth, my inability to follow through, as of yet, suggests why
Plans, though developed with care, prove vulnerable to falling apart if
Patience grows short when readiness to participate has yet to ripen
As you can see, the success of any plan depends upon factoring in
Patience with the unforeseen, concerning readiness, all around

If you lose patience with me before my present state of mind  feels ready for change
Human nature will heighten my resistance due to my feeling pushed
And thus does the nature of power struggles force loving relationships to fail
On the other hand, if intuition suggests that
Part three of this plan may create as much magic for you as
Has been true for me, you may choose to stick around until
Part three pops, freely, out of my mind
And if you said:
Annie, patience, over the long haul, proves far from easy
I'd reply:  Yes, I know, but even so ...
Patience proves worthwhile when the ultimate goal provides
A connective sense of happiness and peace of mind on both sides

As change is the only constant in life, that insight highlights this fact:
The continued good health of every loving relationship depends upon
Attention to mind expansion, leading to personal growth
So, as always, the choice is up to you:
Grow impatient with the precious present  or
Relax into the moment, believing, as I do, that
With positive focus and patience intact, the best is yet to come😊

As for making the most of the precious present ...
I'd hoped (to no avail) to feel ready to pen part three of
My family's heaven sent catalogue plan upon awakening, today
Why to no avail?
The sun was shining too bright, blinding me from unlocking my memory bank
Not the sun in the sky but rather the sunny state of my heart, which
Inspires my mind to relax and enjoy the ride when
My spirit soars so high that my feet can't touch the ground
Generally, this state of euphoria is mine whenever
My mind delights in feeling free to embrace everyone I love
And as long as my mind remains open to embracing the mystery of love
Here's the best reality, of all:
Coached by intuition and guided by my well practiced Line of Control
My think tank, which has grown practiced at
Seeking, finding, expanding and absorbing slices of wisdom
Offers me countless opportunities to live every moment of life to
The fullest, free of undeserved guilt, for this reason:
Pure joy and guilt cannot walk hand in hand

*Each time insight into deeper truth offers me
Another slice of wisdom to chew on and absorb
My sense of clarity deepens, concerning the importance of
Loving intuitively, freely and naturally—with common sense intact—
You see, we don't choose to love or not ...
In truth, love pours forth freely from the depths of each soul
And that last slice of wisdom dwarfs every other insight shared in my blog
Thus far ...

Each time insight into deeper truth guides my think tank to
Create a brand new, positively focused plan of action, based in common sense
I feel empowered to do whatever it takes to assure peace of mind, all around
Actually, I figure it this way:
As long as my think tank remembers to focus upon
The ultimate goal of community welfare
(And the community includes me)
My heart will have no reason to suffer regret when
I look back over my life, for this reason:
I choose to live each day in such a mindful way as to ensure that
Only the Grim Reaper has the power to separate me from
The presence of anyone I love—forever
BTW—I had to tighten the reins on Corny—
Most especially over these past couple of days of pure joy
Why?  Well, while indulging her besotted state of mind
She's been outdoing herself, and
Even I can't believe the eye-rolling stuff that's been flying out of my mouth!😊

No more writing time, today
Katy's in town, and this morning
She and her boys are coming over before
They drive back to the coast
Needless to say, I can't wait to rejoice in their presence

Barry, who received an offer on his house that he couldn't refuse
Moved into a rental, yesterday
He figures that by planning ahead he's readied his bank account to
Offer a substantial down payment as soon as he and Marie find
A house in the neighborhood of their dreams
David's next episode is filming
Will is golfing with his buds, and later today
Celina, Steven and Ravi are coming for dinner ...
Just received word that two sets of friends
One who is freezing in the Midwest and the other who
Is soaking wet in Seattle are planning to accept
Our open invitation (at separate times) to warm up in our five star guest room
Within the next few weeks
Tomorrow, we're looking forward to taking care of Ravi for hours!
Each time Marie and Steven thank us, I laugh
Next weekend is the baby shower several of my friends are throwing to
Welcome Ravi into all of our hearts ... Sooo
As you can imagine, just thinking of so many joyful reasons to sparkle
Energizes my spirit until my whole body wiggles with childlike excitement
And none of those realities, which offer pure pleasure, would be possible without
The execution of patience and careful planning on each person's part

See what I mean about feeling too stimulated with delight to
Write about anything other than the precious present, which
Proves fleeting, because from my vantage point
You can believe me when I say that life goes by in the blink of an eye
And as tragic circumstances are known to whisk joy away as quickly as
Proved true for thousands when terrorist extremists destroyed
Human life in New York's twin towers—likewise in Paris, this week
I humbly request your patience with my need to express how
Magical life can feel when love and positivity
Appreciated fully, freely, naturally and intuitively offer a natural high

If more of us were drunk on love instead of the struggle for power—
What a wonderful world this would be ...
77 nations and counting—
Your friend,
Annie

Saturday, January 10, 2015

1235 INSIGHT INTO MY BESOTTED STATE OF MIND☺️

2015
I just can't do it!
At least not yet ...
I want to write, but it's proving impossible to
String together more than two or three insights, meriting
Serious consideration, today
Why not?
Well, it's that readiness thing ...
Upon awakening, each morning
This delightful experience of brand new grammahood
Feels so 'rejoiceful' that I can't force
My besotted brain to call upon intuition, which
Inspires me to string insights, together, without effort on my part
And as I've experienced the folly of
Expending energy, wastefully, while attempting to force
My mindset to expand before readiness ripens, suggests that
I follow my own advice and free my spirit to wallow in
This long-awaited gift of 'The Precious Present' until
My think tank has had time to soak in
This delightful fact of life, which proves true, again and again:
Each time intuition, patience, positive focus, good humor and
An expansive state of mind consider
The well fare of the entire community (which includes me)
Dreams, concerning the achievement of long range goals
Really can come true ... not because of wishing on a star but
Because, with belief in each person's self worth
Our think tanks work to transform daydreams into reality, just as
The ant moved the rubber tree plant, one infintessimal step at a time
And once the day dawns when an impossible dream is realized, at last
Our hearts re-energize with such sparkling delight as to
Shoot our spirits straight up through the clear blue sky—as can be seen when
The love light, shining forth from our eyes
Showers radiant sprinkles of joy wherever we go, and
You'd have to be crazy to detour away from
Working to achieve any long range goal
That continues to feel natural, intuitive and magical, year after year ☺️

As I've dreamt about the realization of this specific dream , concerning
My spirit's need to breathe in a heartfelt connection to new life, ever since
Celina and Steven's wedding day, a dozen years, back
And since their readiness to transform dream into reality is self evident
I sincerely believe that my choice to wait, quietly and patiently
Gives me license to wallow in this
Naturally besotted, mental state of bliss for as long as my joy feels boundless
In truth, I'm asking your generous heart to humor my need to
Express the depth of my emotion as best as
My connection to words can define indescribable delight
You see—Tis best to rejoice, today, knowing full well that
The future offers untold surprises to one and all
And as my heart floats, most often, on hope
I'll continue to set my sights on that positively focused path where
'Better late than never' offers my smile countless reasons to sparkle with joy ☺️
BTW—Did you know that within the unabridged edition of
Snow White, the heroine befriended seven dwarves and more!
In addition to ...
Happy, Bashful, Grumpy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, and Doc
(All named by Disney, because they were unnamed by the brothers Grimm)
Snow openly embraced...
Itchy, Fearful, Greedy, Stubborn, Lusty, Guilty, Wistful ...
Flirty, Feisty, Hopeful, Lucky and last but not least—Corny☺️

As my outlook on life (and love) seeks the sunny side of the street as does Snow's
Here's the circle of friends that she and I choose to hold hands with most often:
First, we hold hands with Happy and Hopeful
Then, as this pair connects with Lucky the duck
We watch Flirty and Feisty come out to play
And as each one has wisely embraced a healthy respect for The Line of Control
Our spirits have sound reason to radiate with unadulterated joy, unsullied by
Insecurity, defensiveness or undeserved guilt
As to Itchy, Fearful, Greedy, Stubborn, Lusty, Guilty and Wistful... Well ...
While the first four sit in time out, pondering positive focus and self discipline
The fifth has known, all along, to adhere to this rule of thumb:
Safety first, meaning everything in its proper place
And since this blog is still rated PG ... 
That's all I'll say about Lusty, at least for now
As for Guilty and Wistful, well, I've gained insight into the fact that
My self worth has been in need of serious reconsideration for quite a while
And though your friend, Annie, will never be perfect
Time spent in reflection suggests a very good person she's proven to be
And in honor of fully embracing every aspect of joyful connection that
The present offers, concerning my devotion to Ravi
I'd like to introduce Corny, who's asked to end today's post by belting out this song:
To know know know her
Is to love love love her
Just to see her smile
Makes my day worthwhile
To know know know her
Is to love love love her
And I do, yes I do, yes I do
And now, with full appreciation for the fleeting nature of the precious present
I've come to embrace the wisdom of this deeper truth:
The fact that I offer my spirit creative license to radiate with love, openly and freely
Contributes as much to the youthful state of my well being as does peace of mind😊


Look closely and you'll see Ravi's eyes light up as soon as
This five week old child hears love, emoting from her gramma's voice ...
And as a result of our spiritual connection, you'll see
Intuition draw forth the sweetness of her smile, which
Connects naturally with mine


Oy!  For some reason, this 30 second video
(Illustrating Ravi's changing emotional response to my voice)
Won't behave, and as I've no clue how to get it to run in real time
Suggestions are welcome ... In the meantime
As a brand new, besotted gramma, I can't not post photos, sooo
If you'll please humor me just a little longer—
Here's a still of our real live doll😊