When last we met, I'd promised to show you how actions, speaking louder than words, are likely to change who-is-responsible-for-what once a lucky, plucky, contemplative woman goes on strike. Then, I suggested that what you're about to see is sure to tickle your funny bone for this reason: Consequences, laced with a good natured sense of fun, prove more effective than punitive measures when cooperation is the name of the game.
I've heard it said that nothing proves as power packed as the mind of a woman on a mission. And each time my energy wears thin, woman-on-mission is what I become—for example, I've been on a mission since writing post number one of my blog.
If asked what my mission targets while writing a post, I'd reply: My mission targets any mind, looking to achieve a goal, which, for some mysterious reason, seems beyond one's reach. I'm on a quest to knock on doors in minds where negative mind sets limit horizons. Each time I sit down to write, I'm aiming to open your mind to consider where your thought processes may be limited, negatively focused or unaware of having closed up shop.
Now, before you get defensive and your mind starts nailing every nook and cranny, door and shutter shut, please pause on neutral just long enough to consider this fact: Right from the start, I've opened my vulnerabilities to you while hoping that you may feel free to do the same with me. And though I've offered to address consequences, flowing with good natured creativity, the serious nature of my mission grabs hold of my mind upon sitting down to write. Having learned to let instinct guide my path, I've decided to follow the natural bent of my mind in hopes that you'll place your faith in the fact that with patience, laughs will come. How do I know laughs will come in good time? Laughing while learning is my forte. You see, I learned how funny these consequences prove to be by listening to the laughter of thousands of participants, who've enrolled in my classes over the past 35 years.
For a long while, my mind was so bent on sharing vital information and tricks of the trade that I missed hearing how much laughter ensued in the aftermath of whatever I'd said. So, how, you might ask, did laughter finally penetrate my awareness? Well, one day while driving home from the college, I had a flat and called AAA. While waiting for roadside assistance to rescue this damsel in distress, my mind got bored. As I was in the habit of taping my classes, workshops and seminars for posterity and in hopes of taming boredom, I popped that day's tape into the tape deck and got a huge surprise. I'd talk; they'd listen and laugh. I'd talk; they'd listen and laugh. I'd talk; they'd listen and laugh. And so it went from beginning to end—two hours of talking, listening, laughing, no bathroom breaks, yawning or zzzz's. WOW! I thought, as awareness packed its punch ... I'M FUNNY! While doing my best to disseminate serious information, I'm conveying the humor with which I imprint high principled values into the minds of my kids. Fancy that!
So here I am, sitting in my car, listening to myself as never before and while this new sense of self awareness soaks into my mind, my spirit is stoked, so my wait for AAA flies by. By the time I got home, my energy source is soaring, and from that time on, having learned something about myself, known to others but unseen by me, I'd walk into every class and auditorium, knowing full well that within a couple of minutes my audience will be eating information out of my hand in the same way that my kids respond favorably whenever I employ the creative, positively focused, funny side of my brain, which figures out how to motivate closed minds to WANT to do what is NEEDED in order that sanity prevails over lethargy or craziness, all around. Gosh! I thought! Millions of people need to learn how to inject humor into situations fraught with frustration, and I'm the Pied Piper who can lead them into the promised land! Please do not mistake that for ego boasting. That was the spirit of sages, like Socrates and Shakespeare, whispering self confidence into my ear. And when the goal is to grab hold of and pry open and pour new ideas into millions of minds, tons of self confidence is what this woman on a mission had need of most. :)
In short, please don't mistake that which I've written above as my having become manipulative in a negative or selfish way. When facing down a dilemma in need of astute resolution, I make good use of humor in hopes of ensuring that every brain involved readies itself to focus upon brainstorming toward solutions that ease life for everyone concerned. Simply put, this philosophical methodology is called Win-Win.
With discretion as my guide, I allow my vulnerability to hang out for certain people to see. Here's an example of how that combination of discretion and vulnerability works for me: Once, when at a total loss as to how to keep a two year old in bed, I threw up my hands and openly declared my inability to control the mind of this independent, little guy. At that, my two year old tyke offered up an effective consequence that I'd never have agreed to without his permission. Since he'd 'thunk' up this consequence on his own, defensiveness did not arise, which is why this consequence of his own making worked like a charm!
Hopefully, I've wet your appetite to know how that scenario played out. And as that example is merely one sample of so of many yet to be described in detail within the posts of my blog, perhaps the point I'm trying to set up, today, is coming clear. When one wants to solve a problem that continues to raise it's ornery little head and just won't quit, it's vital to remember the parts played by tone of voice, word choice, patience and timing. In three words: attitude is everything. And thus, when a problem pops up, again and again, my first consideration is to question which aspect of my attitude may need to be altered in ways that I've yet to comprehend. As of today, I take solace in the fact that by way of combining knowledge, humor and self confidence, I've become an instrumental link in opening the minds of thousands, who've enrolled in my classes or read articles, written and published. And as long as I keep those facts in the forefront of my mind, this woman on a mission awakens each morning, geared up to influence the minds of ... millions ... 76 nations, so far, and counting— :)
WOW! Guess what I just realized?
When I sat down to write, today, my head was hurting, and now it hurts less!
What was hurting my head?
A pounding head ache from Shingles.
In fact, when I sat down, I didn't know if I could write anything, at all.
In addition to the itch and burning associated with this viral infection that lays dormant for years, I'm sensitive to medication, meaning something that's good for me makes me feel awful before better—you know, like prying your mind open to hearing something you'd rather not know about yourself that you need to know before some aspect of your life that's stuck inside a narrow place may begin to move forward and expand :) ...
While searching for an open door into another person's mind, I'm not looking for weakness; I'm not looking to pounce on some area of vulnerability. All I aim to do is to encourage you to question ways in which emotion bends the path of your thoughts. You see, as soon as strong emotion enters the arena, logic thins out, and when logic thins out it's easy to lose sight of one's path ...
Yesterday, I'd decided to employ mind over matter in hopes that my condition (itching, burning, headache) would improve. I'd determined that this Shingles thing would not pull rank on the strength of my spirit and get me down. Having forgotten my sensitivity to medication, I'd dismissed my body's historical inability to tolerate the invasion of drugs, needed to fight illness that compromises my good health. Boy! Was I disappointed in myself when itching, burning, head ache, nausea, dizziness, and upset stomach pinned my spirit to the mat.
When yesterday felt awful, guess what I chose to do, today. Open my mind. Re-evaluate my stance. Change my mind set by accepting the fact that upon redirecting my attitude, I can free my spirit while my body's reactions to meds remains unchanged. And guess what happened upon redirecting my mind to acknowledge my resistance not only to illness but to the cure? I stopped hurtling negative judgment upon myself, and as soon as I stopped judging myself, my head ache lessened, thus freeing my spirit to lighten, automatically. Upon rethinking my original stance, I turned a negative chain reaction toward the positive, and in that instance, mind over matter worked, at least to some degree. On the other hand, here's an example of mind over matter not working at all ...
Thirty-seven years ago my phone rings. It's early in the morning. My sister, Lauren's on the line. She's newly pregnant, feeling nauseous. She's decided to will nausea away. I've had two pregnancies, by now. I'm listening to a rookie, thinking ... good luck. A half hour later my phone rings. Mind over matter had lost. Lauren, determined to stay put and beat this thing, just threw up—in bed. Being Lauren's older, more experienced sister, I muster compassion and commiserate until she decides to clean up and strip the bed. Upon hanging up, I can't help the fact that my delayed reaction bursts forth, because—we laugh at the truth.
I always want to believe I'm so strong, when truthfully, at times I'm as vulnerable to life as anyone else. Each time I accept the vulnerable side of human nature, I ease up on myself. The easier I am on myself, the easier I am on others. Upon easing up on judgment, in general, life gets easier, all around. Once this story, concerning a woman on a mission who goes on strike, picks up steam, you'll see examples of how that easing-up-line-of-reasoning, creates open pathways of communication, amongst people of both genders, at all ages, at home and beyond. Time and again, it's been my experience that as soon as judgment lessens, emotional environments, pulsing with high wired tension, become safe havens where words, flowing with compassion, sooth fears and frustrations, which tend to ooze out of yesteryear's unhealed wounds.
By the way, upon opening my present vulnerability to friends, guess what just happened? The phone rang, and chicken soup is on its way. Though I'll enjoy the soup, more important is the open flow of love I feel for the generous soul, whose thoughtfulness has lifted my spirit.
Funny how we'll open up about physical vulnerabilities while narrow mindsets block us from exposing emotional vulnerabilities—even to ourselves. Why is that true? In order not to scare ourselves half to death, Mother Nature preprogrammed our defense systems to block our conscious minds from seeing too deeply into subconscious fears. To some degree or another, we fear being judged lacking in sensitivity, passion, humor, logic or whatever, and that makes me ask: What's logical about blocking one's mind to any vulnerability in need of strengthening ... I mean, seriously people, what's up with that!
If you ask why today's thoughts precede my showering you with funny consequences, as promised, I'd reply: I think you're receiving the serious side of my nature because I feel unwell. Interestingly, my horoscope says: You'll be driven to express yourself, assert your rights and validate your curiosity, today. :)
By the way, can you guess what happened when I stopped trying to control a reaction that's beyond my control—specifically—my body's physical sensitivity to medication? Upon easing up on seeing myself as weak, which disappointed me, my frustration lessened, and though nothing has improved, except my attitude, one thing has changed, dramatically: Upon accepting what proves to be classic for me, my spirit feels a bit lighter, today than yesterday—thus imprinting, once again, that along with patience, openness, and thoughtfulness, the attitude with which we accept or reject human vulnerably is everything :)
At this point, I'd like to quote Dr. Brene Brown of the University of Houston: "Vulnerability ... is a willingness to show up, be seen, and take chances ..." Dr. Brown goes on to say that " ... the hidden secret to success is vulnerability ...".
Let's consider my vulnerability: Each time I offer you another glimpse into me, I hope you'll see my mind, heart and spirit welcoming your mind, heart and spirit to feel so safe as to allow me to see clearly into whatever you feel or fear. I hope you'll recognize how thoughtfully I wait to accept and soothe your vulnerabilities as well as admiring your cultivated strengths. As you shall see, embracing vulnerability allows each of us to experiment with risking failure. Once we learn the reasons why something seems to fail repeatedly, we tend to achieve a heartfelt goal. And thus in the long run, as Dr. Brown suggests, "... with risk comes great reward". Take Babe for example. Though known far and wide for hitting homers, Babe Ruth struck out more often than not. Even so, he never stopped swinging for the fences. And in the long run, success was his :)
Dr. Brown has authored a book titled: DARING GREATLY: HOW THE COURAGE TO BE VULNERABLE TRANSFORMS THE WAY WE LIVE, LOVE, PARENT AND LEAD
I read another horoscope in today's paper that states: Much depends on how you speak. State exactly what you'd like to see happen. (Risk showing what you really feel ...)
Though taking action is important, words and tones used to express our innermost feelings and thoughts may determine that which we'll receive in return from loved ones and colleagues. When words prove not enough to achieve heartfelt goals, action must follow.
Lots of people, who think to know me well, suggest that I alter thought patterns, resembling Pollyana's. My response? A Mona Lisa smile. Once I, like Babe, embrace a heartfelt goal, it's highly unlikely that I'll give up on working toward achieving success. :)
At this point, let's hope that I'll start to feel so much better that you'll find a funny chapter when next we meet. Though that's my plan, I'll admit to the unpredictable nature of my mind and not repeat yesterday's mistake. Though I can't promise what my mind will write, next, I can safely promise you this: Once my heart cares, it cares forever. How do I know this to be true? One look at my history suggests that this woman's most trustworthy trait proves to be the steadfast nature of my heart—and that's the truth :)
I've heard it said that nothing proves as power packed as the mind of a woman on a mission. And each time my energy wears thin, woman-on-mission is what I become—for example, I've been on a mission since writing post number one of my blog.
If asked what my mission targets while writing a post, I'd reply: My mission targets any mind, looking to achieve a goal, which, for some mysterious reason, seems beyond one's reach. I'm on a quest to knock on doors in minds where negative mind sets limit horizons. Each time I sit down to write, I'm aiming to open your mind to consider where your thought processes may be limited, negatively focused or unaware of having closed up shop.
Now, before you get defensive and your mind starts nailing every nook and cranny, door and shutter shut, please pause on neutral just long enough to consider this fact: Right from the start, I've opened my vulnerabilities to you while hoping that you may feel free to do the same with me. And though I've offered to address consequences, flowing with good natured creativity, the serious nature of my mission grabs hold of my mind upon sitting down to write. Having learned to let instinct guide my path, I've decided to follow the natural bent of my mind in hopes that you'll place your faith in the fact that with patience, laughs will come. How do I know laughs will come in good time? Laughing while learning is my forte. You see, I learned how funny these consequences prove to be by listening to the laughter of thousands of participants, who've enrolled in my classes over the past 35 years.
For a long while, my mind was so bent on sharing vital information and tricks of the trade that I missed hearing how much laughter ensued in the aftermath of whatever I'd said. So, how, you might ask, did laughter finally penetrate my awareness? Well, one day while driving home from the college, I had a flat and called AAA. While waiting for roadside assistance to rescue this damsel in distress, my mind got bored. As I was in the habit of taping my classes, workshops and seminars for posterity and in hopes of taming boredom, I popped that day's tape into the tape deck and got a huge surprise. I'd talk; they'd listen and laugh. I'd talk; they'd listen and laugh. I'd talk; they'd listen and laugh. And so it went from beginning to end—two hours of talking, listening, laughing, no bathroom breaks, yawning or zzzz's. WOW! I thought, as awareness packed its punch ... I'M FUNNY! While doing my best to disseminate serious information, I'm conveying the humor with which I imprint high principled values into the minds of my kids. Fancy that!
So here I am, sitting in my car, listening to myself as never before and while this new sense of self awareness soaks into my mind, my spirit is stoked, so my wait for AAA flies by. By the time I got home, my energy source is soaring, and from that time on, having learned something about myself, known to others but unseen by me, I'd walk into every class and auditorium, knowing full well that within a couple of minutes my audience will be eating information out of my hand in the same way that my kids respond favorably whenever I employ the creative, positively focused, funny side of my brain, which figures out how to motivate closed minds to WANT to do what is NEEDED in order that sanity prevails over lethargy or craziness, all around. Gosh! I thought! Millions of people need to learn how to inject humor into situations fraught with frustration, and I'm the Pied Piper who can lead them into the promised land! Please do not mistake that for ego boasting. That was the spirit of sages, like Socrates and Shakespeare, whispering self confidence into my ear. And when the goal is to grab hold of and pry open and pour new ideas into millions of minds, tons of self confidence is what this woman on a mission had need of most. :)
In short, please don't mistake that which I've written above as my having become manipulative in a negative or selfish way. When facing down a dilemma in need of astute resolution, I make good use of humor in hopes of ensuring that every brain involved readies itself to focus upon brainstorming toward solutions that ease life for everyone concerned. Simply put, this philosophical methodology is called Win-Win.
With discretion as my guide, I allow my vulnerability to hang out for certain people to see. Here's an example of how that combination of discretion and vulnerability works for me: Once, when at a total loss as to how to keep a two year old in bed, I threw up my hands and openly declared my inability to control the mind of this independent, little guy. At that, my two year old tyke offered up an effective consequence that I'd never have agreed to without his permission. Since he'd 'thunk' up this consequence on his own, defensiveness did not arise, which is why this consequence of his own making worked like a charm!
Hopefully, I've wet your appetite to know how that scenario played out. And as that example is merely one sample of so of many yet to be described in detail within the posts of my blog, perhaps the point I'm trying to set up, today, is coming clear. When one wants to solve a problem that continues to raise it's ornery little head and just won't quit, it's vital to remember the parts played by tone of voice, word choice, patience and timing. In three words: attitude is everything. And thus, when a problem pops up, again and again, my first consideration is to question which aspect of my attitude may need to be altered in ways that I've yet to comprehend. As of today, I take solace in the fact that by way of combining knowledge, humor and self confidence, I've become an instrumental link in opening the minds of thousands, who've enrolled in my classes or read articles, written and published. And as long as I keep those facts in the forefront of my mind, this woman on a mission awakens each morning, geared up to influence the minds of ... millions ... 76 nations, so far, and counting— :)
WOW! Guess what I just realized?
When I sat down to write, today, my head was hurting, and now it hurts less!
What was hurting my head?
A pounding head ache from Shingles.
In fact, when I sat down, I didn't know if I could write anything, at all.
In addition to the itch and burning associated with this viral infection that lays dormant for years, I'm sensitive to medication, meaning something that's good for me makes me feel awful before better—you know, like prying your mind open to hearing something you'd rather not know about yourself that you need to know before some aspect of your life that's stuck inside a narrow place may begin to move forward and expand :) ...
While searching for an open door into another person's mind, I'm not looking for weakness; I'm not looking to pounce on some area of vulnerability. All I aim to do is to encourage you to question ways in which emotion bends the path of your thoughts. You see, as soon as strong emotion enters the arena, logic thins out, and when logic thins out it's easy to lose sight of one's path ...
Yesterday, I'd decided to employ mind over matter in hopes that my condition (itching, burning, headache) would improve. I'd determined that this Shingles thing would not pull rank on the strength of my spirit and get me down. Having forgotten my sensitivity to medication, I'd dismissed my body's historical inability to tolerate the invasion of drugs, needed to fight illness that compromises my good health. Boy! Was I disappointed in myself when itching, burning, head ache, nausea, dizziness, and upset stomach pinned my spirit to the mat.
When yesterday felt awful, guess what I chose to do, today. Open my mind. Re-evaluate my stance. Change my mind set by accepting the fact that upon redirecting my attitude, I can free my spirit while my body's reactions to meds remains unchanged. And guess what happened upon redirecting my mind to acknowledge my resistance not only to illness but to the cure? I stopped hurtling negative judgment upon myself, and as soon as I stopped judging myself, my head ache lessened, thus freeing my spirit to lighten, automatically. Upon rethinking my original stance, I turned a negative chain reaction toward the positive, and in that instance, mind over matter worked, at least to some degree. On the other hand, here's an example of mind over matter not working at all ...
Thirty-seven years ago my phone rings. It's early in the morning. My sister, Lauren's on the line. She's newly pregnant, feeling nauseous. She's decided to will nausea away. I've had two pregnancies, by now. I'm listening to a rookie, thinking ... good luck. A half hour later my phone rings. Mind over matter had lost. Lauren, determined to stay put and beat this thing, just threw up—in bed. Being Lauren's older, more experienced sister, I muster compassion and commiserate until she decides to clean up and strip the bed. Upon hanging up, I can't help the fact that my delayed reaction bursts forth, because—we laugh at the truth.
I always want to believe I'm so strong, when truthfully, at times I'm as vulnerable to life as anyone else. Each time I accept the vulnerable side of human nature, I ease up on myself. The easier I am on myself, the easier I am on others. Upon easing up on judgment, in general, life gets easier, all around. Once this story, concerning a woman on a mission who goes on strike, picks up steam, you'll see examples of how that easing-up-line-of-reasoning, creates open pathways of communication, amongst people of both genders, at all ages, at home and beyond. Time and again, it's been my experience that as soon as judgment lessens, emotional environments, pulsing with high wired tension, become safe havens where words, flowing with compassion, sooth fears and frustrations, which tend to ooze out of yesteryear's unhealed wounds.
By the way, upon opening my present vulnerability to friends, guess what just happened? The phone rang, and chicken soup is on its way. Though I'll enjoy the soup, more important is the open flow of love I feel for the generous soul, whose thoughtfulness has lifted my spirit.
Funny how we'll open up about physical vulnerabilities while narrow mindsets block us from exposing emotional vulnerabilities—even to ourselves. Why is that true? In order not to scare ourselves half to death, Mother Nature preprogrammed our defense systems to block our conscious minds from seeing too deeply into subconscious fears. To some degree or another, we fear being judged lacking in sensitivity, passion, humor, logic or whatever, and that makes me ask: What's logical about blocking one's mind to any vulnerability in need of strengthening ... I mean, seriously people, what's up with that!
If you ask why today's thoughts precede my showering you with funny consequences, as promised, I'd reply: I think you're receiving the serious side of my nature because I feel unwell. Interestingly, my horoscope says: You'll be driven to express yourself, assert your rights and validate your curiosity, today. :)
By the way, can you guess what happened when I stopped trying to control a reaction that's beyond my control—specifically—my body's physical sensitivity to medication? Upon easing up on seeing myself as weak, which disappointed me, my frustration lessened, and though nothing has improved, except my attitude, one thing has changed, dramatically: Upon accepting what proves to be classic for me, my spirit feels a bit lighter, today than yesterday—thus imprinting, once again, that along with patience, openness, and thoughtfulness, the attitude with which we accept or reject human vulnerably is everything :)
At this point, I'd like to quote Dr. Brene Brown of the University of Houston: "Vulnerability ... is a willingness to show up, be seen, and take chances ..." Dr. Brown goes on to say that " ... the hidden secret to success is vulnerability ...".
Let's consider my vulnerability: Each time I offer you another glimpse into me, I hope you'll see my mind, heart and spirit welcoming your mind, heart and spirit to feel so safe as to allow me to see clearly into whatever you feel or fear. I hope you'll recognize how thoughtfully I wait to accept and soothe your vulnerabilities as well as admiring your cultivated strengths. As you shall see, embracing vulnerability allows each of us to experiment with risking failure. Once we learn the reasons why something seems to fail repeatedly, we tend to achieve a heartfelt goal. And thus in the long run, as Dr. Brown suggests, "... with risk comes great reward". Take Babe for example. Though known far and wide for hitting homers, Babe Ruth struck out more often than not. Even so, he never stopped swinging for the fences. And in the long run, success was his :)
Dr. Brown has authored a book titled: DARING GREATLY: HOW THE COURAGE TO BE VULNERABLE TRANSFORMS THE WAY WE LIVE, LOVE, PARENT AND LEAD
I read another horoscope in today's paper that states: Much depends on how you speak. State exactly what you'd like to see happen. (Risk showing what you really feel ...)
Though taking action is important, words and tones used to express our innermost feelings and thoughts may determine that which we'll receive in return from loved ones and colleagues. When words prove not enough to achieve heartfelt goals, action must follow.
Lots of people, who think to know me well, suggest that I alter thought patterns, resembling Pollyana's. My response? A Mona Lisa smile. Once I, like Babe, embrace a heartfelt goal, it's highly unlikely that I'll give up on working toward achieving success. :)
At this point, let's hope that I'll start to feel so much better that you'll find a funny chapter when next we meet. Though that's my plan, I'll admit to the unpredictable nature of my mind and not repeat yesterday's mistake. Though I can't promise what my mind will write, next, I can safely promise you this: Once my heart cares, it cares forever. How do I know this to be true? One look at my history suggests that this woman's most trustworthy trait proves to be the steadfast nature of my heart—and that's the truth :)
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